-1I have returned! Sadly, Kai's computer isn't working right now, so it'll just be me with the stories for a while. Never fear though, I'll do my best! It's summer, which means I have lots of free time to play with when I'm not babysitting or going to Epic.

Ah, yes, Epic. The best thing that a bunch of bored Hughschool/College students created. Epic is what you would call a LARP, or Live Action Role Play. I go there once a month (at least I try to...), in costume, as a totally different person. For one. whole. weekend. It's awesome, I love it.

Anyway, this is just a small... ficlet... that I made a long time ago. It's based off of something that actually happened to me! I woke up around 9:00 one Saturday morning, and found a black plastic salad fork in my kitchen, and I realized that it was a giant spork! So, of course I called my friend Paddy to tell her about my discovery. Needless to say she wasn't very happy with me for waking up her at 9:30 in the morning to tell her I found a spork.

Warning; Slight RoyxEd. Don't like it, don't read it. It's hilarious though!

Disclaimer: I, Arina, in no way shape or form own Fullmetal Alchemist. ... No suing me god damnit, else I'll send the Rhinobear after you.


It was early Saturday morning, a bit too early to be up after two all-nighters in a row. But that didn't matter, he couldn't sleep. The Fullmetal Alchemist had been restless for most of the night, only slightly bothering his concerned brother. He wandered down to the kitchen; he didn't need light to find his way in the Rockbell's familiar home.

But the little moonlight that shone through he window was enough to allow him to see a single object sitting on the counter. So innocent, a small wooden utensil just sitting there. He couldn't tell what it was at fist, but quickly rushed to the phone a few minutes after figuring out the objects identity.

He dialed the familiar number, the one he knew by heart since he called it so many times. Was that a bad thing?

A groggy voice answered the phone, clearly annoyed at being called so early. "Hello?"

Edward was ecstatic, surprising the other man on the phone, "Mustang, guess what?!"
he asked happily, though he half expected the Colonel to punch him for this later. The blonde was like a giggling schoolgirl now as he stared at the object in his hand.

Roy sighed from the other end of the phone, was this some sort of joke his subordinate was playing on him? "What, Fullmetal?" He asked, using the younger alchemist's alias because he was not in the mood for games. Whatever the boy had to say had better be damn important.

Ed was still in a clearly good mood either way, "I found a spork in Winry's kitchen!" He said happily, holding the odd utensil in the air like a child with a new toy. Like the colonel could see that expression of his mirth though. The boy grinned maniacally, happy with his discovery.

Roy scowled at the phone, having half a mind to torch it, "Edward... you called me...at 5:30 in the morning...to tell me there was a god damned spork in the kitchen? You are lucky I was already awake, or else I would have walked over there and wrung your little neck." The mans voice was lined with venom, making Ed cringe on the other end of the phone.

Well, maybe calling the Colonel this early on their day off wasn't such a good idea after all.