A/N: My other story is currently on hiatus, not because I have no ideas, but because I've not gotten two reviews yet. C'mon!

Well, here's my latest and (not) greatest.

Enjoy!

He had been gone too long.

And she was worried about him! What if something happened! Her puddin, hurt?

It couldn't happen!

Then she wouldn't ever get him back, and that wouldn't work at all.

Just the thought.

His shoulders, his back, waist, ass, legs....

Harley was all revved up.

It wasn't her fault, really! It was the smell of his cologne, the way he looked when he was doing just about any activity, the way his glare promised later punishment....

It made her wet.

She tried to give him subtle hints (there seemed to be a ratio between how horny Harley was and how skimpy her red-and-black numbers got)

And they never worked.

She sometimes felt like he was ignoring her on purpose, so later he could punish her for annoying him, make her scream in pleasure that was almost pain - or pain that was almost pleasure, she could never really tell.

He had said he was going to be back in a couple of days....

How hard could it be, really, to take care of her needs herself?

Harls, really? Are you that impatient, pooh? Incapable of waiting for me to come and take care of you? You really are a little slut....

She couldn't do it.

Even though he was gone, gallivanting off on something or other, she couldn't betray him by taking care of herself.

He had been gone six days! Six days!

Surely she could just make herself feel a little better?

Her fingers were trailing down to slip into the waistband of her red jean shorts when she remembered.

He had told her not to.

Because that would make the scoreboard uneven.

And he would find out about it sometime anyway....

And there would be hell to pay if he did.

"harley, girl, i know you can go a few days without me..." he had said, after throwing her to the floor.

She had snuck up behind him and began rubbing his shoulders and chest, one finger circling his nipple through his shirt, and he had thrown her down.

"Pooh, I have to leave soon - and if I can't take the time to make it perfect what's the point?"

(meaning, really, he wasn't in the mood to cater to her and would much appriciate it if she held herself for him, because obviously he was the only one who could ever give her pleaseure).

She nearly screamed in frustration.

And that was when the door slammed open.

The Joker stormed in, seething in madness.

"He got away! Again!"

And punched her in the jaw.

The force behind it lifted her physically into the air and then sent her spinning to the floor.

"Puddin'?"

"Come here, Harley."

His voice held no forgiveness.

She felt her pussy clench.

He was always his sexiest in these moods - when she knew he would stop at nothing and slam her around, slam into her until she cried out for him to stop.

And he would pound her harder.

Harley was lost in her little fantasy when a pale white hand cracked against the side of her face.

"Pay. Attention. To. Me."

She was terrified.

"Yessir!" She squeaked.

He slapped her in the face again, and she felt a bruise begin to bloom.

She wanted more. She wanted to run. She wanted him.

"Are you going to be a good harleykins and obey me?"

His voice was dripping fake sweetness, fake sweetness that promised the most painful of punishments if the command was not obeyed.

She nodded frantically.

His hand dropped to the fly of his pants and unzipped then, releasing himself from his purple boxers.

She crawled over to him on hands and knees, and took him into her mouth. He rolled his eyes, and then began to slam into her - almost choking her as he forced deeper into her throat by grabbing onto her hair.

Just as she though she was going to choke he pulled out of her.

"You have five seconds to get those stupid shorts off. One."

Harley fumbled with the button.

"Two."

The zipper was stuck. The zipper was stuck!

"Three..."

She tugged at it as hard as she could.

"Four..."

She forgot about the zipper and slid the red shorts and her bright purple under wear down her legs, just as he was saying, "Five."

Not good enough.

"Not good enough, Harley. I thought you could do better than that. Go bend over the counter and wait for me."

Harley walked quickly to the kitchen and bent over the counter, spreading her legs. She didn't know what he was going to do to her, and that thought made her even hornier. She loved whatever he did to her, loved the soft sting of a paddle, the caress of a whip, the feeling of his hands bruising her hips and ass...

She felt a strike across her legs, like a line of fire.

He was whipping her.

And she hadn't even heard him come up behind her.

She heard another crack as the whip descended, and a second line of fire was lain beside the first.

"Please, Mr. J...." She heard herself beg..

"Please what, Harley?" He snapped. "Be more specific with your directives! How could anyone even begin to understand you."

"I--"

The whip cracked across her ass three more times in quick succession.

There was a long agonizing pause before she felt something tracing against her, spreading her wetness.

She shut her eyes.

And screamed, as all ten inches of the Joker slammed into her.

He reached foreward and grabbed her neck, pressing against her windpipe and vocal chords.

"You know, Harley, I'm so glad you're here! It's great stress relief when i get back from those stressful jobs...."

"Yes, boss..." She choked out.

He picked up the speed until he was slamming into her, bottoming out with every thrust.

She began to make what little moans she could around his hand, which was really more cutting off her sound than her air supply.

This was why she loved him, this man, who made her feel things that no other ever had.

He let go of her throat, favoring instead grabbing her hair, tugging her head back.

"Daddy - your cock feels so good...."

He growled, a primal sound, as he picked up the pace of their fuck.

She felt it building then.

She had missed her clown, really. And now that he was back, and he was here, fucking her, 'punishing' her, loving her in the only way he could.

He pushed himself as far into her as he could go and then grabbed her hips and thrust in farther still.

Harley exploded. Knowing that her idol, her love, her puddin' was causing this just sent her over the edge, and she clenched hard around him.

He slammed into her several more times and then she felt him come - and felt him pulse inside her.

The joker picked her up tenderly (an out of character act for him) and carried her to their bed, lay her down, and lay down behind her.

"I love you, Mr. J."

"Yes, Harley. Now shut up. I've had a stressful day and want to sleep."

As she was falling asleep, he began to hum.

I love you, a bushel and a peck, a bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck, a hug around the neck and a barrel and a heap, a barrel and a heap and I'm talkin' in my sleep, about you....

A/N: So, whaddaya think? Let me know? (aka, review, I KEEL YOU)

Yrael: Still shameless, even in different universes.

Ellie: *Lifts whip*

Yrael: YIPE!