The Mishaps of the Strawhat Cook

A collaborative story by Silverwolfsakura16 and Soultail Omega-Light

Authors' Note: This is a small idea that is based on a funny conversation about the events that could happen, might happen when it comes to a certain cook that had lost his touch in culinary arts, thus, it will be a bad week for everyone.

Disclaimer: We do not own The Mugiwara pirates, Sir Crocodile, nor Sanji, they belong to Odo-sama, the mishaps and other situations are ours.

[Zoro's point of view]

In all my life, I am surprise to see that the Ero Cook is losing his touch to his creations, even Nami is getting really disappointed in his meals, that it's becoming really sad.

....

Damn, I hate telling this story when I already lost my respect to him since day one, but for the sake of Luffy, our captain and friend, I might as well tell this.

It was after the fight with the Baroque Works and the (shichibukai) Sir Crocodile, Sanji has become somewhat distant in his creations that even Usopp, our marksmanship crewmember, has lost his appitite.

"It tastes funny..." Chopper, our new member and medical reindeer, commented after a while as he tasted some of the cook's dinner meal one night.

"Ugghhhh!!! Sanji-kun!! What the hell is this?!?!?!" Nami exclaimed as she made a face of disgust and fury at him.

"I thought the meals that you made were delicious!!"

"..." Luffy said as he ate the meal anyway.

I don't know if I should be amazed or disgusted with Luffy's habits, but I can't say for myself since I am in that kind of way half of the time and he is the captain.

Usopp always make a scene since he is a liar, even through his teeth and that long nose of his to make up so many false stories it's sad, yet, this time, his lies can't hide the fact that the food was bad.

I really can't handle another bite of the meal since it was really that bad to my tastes and from what I heard from Sanji a few months ago as we were arriving to Winter Island that he cooks the freshest vegetables and meats for Nami and the rest, ie the leftovers, to us. Smoking bastard of a cook.

"Oi. I think I'll pass on the meal, as I can't stand it at all." I said as I was being serious and my face is contorted in "losing-my-appitite-after-several-bites" look.

"B...B....But, Nami-cwan... I can explain.." Sanji studdered as he was getting really nervious of Nami's poundings on his being.

I have no problem in watching Nami beat up on Ero Cook at other times, but for the present, I didn't think it was a good time to beat the hell out of the Ero Cook, so I gotten up and grabbed her wrist before she made the first strike upon him.

"Zoro!! What the hell are you doing?!?!? Let me go!!" Nami yelled as she got into my face, red with fury.

"Oi, save the bashings on Sanji for later, right now, we need to figure out what the hell is wrong with him since he is out of it at this moment." I calmly explained to her as she looked like she was extremely pissed off at the current events, thus I let her go.

.....

At times like this, I had the urge to train hard, just to get my mind off of the stressful situations, while focusing on my endurance.

Yet, the navigator kept getting on my nerves, saying that she is worry about Sanji and all the other stuff that I had to block out her conversations to the point of not caring.

"HEY!! ZORO!! WERE YOU EVEN LISTENING?!?!?!" She yelled at me as I was on the topside deck, practicing my sword mastery while swinging with a great amount of weight that I didn't care to reply before I was smacked upside the head with her Clima Tact, which really hurt after ten to twenty seconds from the impact.

"HEY!!! WHAT THE HELL, WOMAN?!?! WHY THE HELL DID YOU HIT ME?!?!?" I howled at her while rubbing my head from the impact with my hand.

"YOU WERE NOT PAYING ATTENTION TO WHAT I WAS SAYING, ZORO!!!" she roared back as we were furious with each other.

While Nami and I were arguing, we didn't noticed that Sanji was brooding over the fact that he is losing his artistic touch, which is kind of sad to see him in that kind of mood.

"UGGGHHHHH!!!! I CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU, ZORO!!!" She sighed in frustration as she stormed away from the area, steam coming out of her ears.

"I feel sorry for Sanji. I wonder what caused him to lose his talent?" Chopper asked Usopp as he was hiding behind him, which the liar was hiding behind the mast, clearly afraid of Nami when she is pissed off.

"You know, I am wondering that myself, Chopper." he replied to Chopper's inquiery.

..............

Later on that day, whatever the time is, I can't remember as I was peacefully sleeping on deck, soaking in the sunlight that I really didn't care until that Ero Cook stomped on my chest to wake me up.

"Oi!! What the hell was that for?" I said while gumbling in slumber mood, yawning in annoyance and scratching the back of my head from the slumber.

"Hey Shit head!! I need your opinion on this!" Sanji said as he presented a plateful of cake that he was going to give to Nami to make up the failure of his creation.

I stared at it for a bit before shrugging my shoulders and taking the plate and fork, tasting the cake before spitting the bite out of my mouth. "OI!!! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!? EVEN YOU FAILED IN BAKING A CAKE!!"

"SCREW YOU, MARIMO!!!" He yelled back at me, which he tried to kick me in the head, but thank God for my luck, he missed and accidentally knocked Chopper into the water.

"AHHHH!!! HELP!! HELP!! I CAN'T SWIM!!" Chopper cried as he was struggling to stay afloat on the water.

Crap, I forgot that Devil Fruit users are bad swimmers, thus, I had to jump in and save him before he was gone, which lasted about twenty minutes before we were on board, soaking wet and tired.

"Damn that Ero Cook for that uncalled for attack on Chopper." I thought to myself as I stood up and grumbling, getting a cold ale to settle my nerves from the excitement.

"Are you alright, Chopper?" Nami asked him as she was drying him off with a towel.

"Yes, I am. Thanks to Zoro." Chopper replied to Nami's concern.

"SANJI-KUN!!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU FOR KICKING CHOPPER LIKE THAT?!?" She screeched at him with her trademark fury.

"N...N...Nami-cwan.... I am sorry..." The Ero Cook was really in hot water now, no pun intended.

.......

Well, after that interesting bashing from Nami upon Sanji earlier in the evening, I was on duty in the lookout at the Crow's Nest that night, which was kind of hard to see what is going on with no stars out by the clouds blocking out the light.

"Why do I have some guilt in making the Ero Cook's life a living hell when I wasn't the one who made him lose his touch?" I asked myself while focusing on the horizon.

As I continued with the lookout, I heard the noises of Luffy and Sanji fighting over the food that Sanji thought he threw away, when it was Luffy, the cast iron stomach of his, who was eating them.

"Baka!!" I heard Nami screeching out in Sanji's defense.

What she saw in the Ero Cook, I'll never even find out.

Within a few minutes of the noises, I saw him running towards the railing on the stern side, throwing up from the case of severe food poisoning, which from personal experience, wasn't a fun trip.

"Oi! Luffy! Are you ok?"

"Yeah... I am ok, Zoro..." Luffy lied.

He looked sickly green from the food poisoning that Chopper had to force him to stay in bed for the next few weeks.

"Damn, that is a bad week from the beginning." I stated in the matter of fact tone as I sighed in annoyance.

More to come....

Soul's statements: That is fun to make the situation of the bad cooking of Sanji's to the point of having poor Luffy severe food poisoning.

Sanji: [Crying in the corner, ashamed]

Soul: [Sighs] Please Read and Review for the sake of me and Silverwolfsakura16.