Disclaimer: I own nothing except the paper this would be printed on if I actually had paper in my printer.
Prologue: Falling
"Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love."
-Albert Einstein
It was a beautiful October night when it happened. The weather in Seattle, Washington was perfect. It was crisp and cool, but not quite cold enough to need a jacket. I could see the colors in the trees, a sea of red, orange and yellow that almost took my breath away. I could feel the crunch of leaves in each step, and I could almost smell Halloween in the air: the pumpkins, the candy, the excitement. I was so focused on the colors, the smells, and the feel of the leaves as I walked that I didn't see the wall until I hit it.
With my mind fuzzy and my backside on fire as I sat on the cold, rough pavement I realized that it wasn't a wall at all; it was a man. And oh God, what a man. He loomed there, over six feet tall, with a military buzz and shoulders broad enough to make an NFL linebacker jealous, and as he knelt down in front of me our eyes locked. To say that his eyes were brown would be to say the ocean is blue or the night sky is black. It may be true, but they're so much more than that. His eyes weren't just brown; they were the color of cinnamon, and aged whiskey, and melted chocolate and when the light hit them they flashed a liquid gold color that made my heart jump in my chest. I took one look into those indescribable eyes and suddenly I knew that my whole world was about to change.
Chp 1: Dreams
"I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long.
If we're in each other's dreams, we can be together all the time."
-Calvin and Hobbes
My sophomore year of college felt like it was going to last forever… and it was only midway through my first semester. Being a nursing major, as I found out, is hard on your social life. Here I was, 20 years old, in the prime of my life, and the only people I talked to on a daily basis were my roommate and the person in charge of the research section of the Seattle University library. At SU, nursing majors start clinicals sophomore year, meaning every Friday morning I would drag myself out of bed and spend five hours training in a hospital, watching nurses insert catheters and take blood pressures and wondering if this was going to be the rest of my life. Don't get me wrong, I love nursing, but I was 20 years old and spending every waking moment in class, at the hospital, or in that special corner of the library that I had occupied every day since classes had started. It had occurred to me that I might be working too hard, but at the time I didn't know how to stop. My roommate made her view on this subject very clear to me one very important night in the library.
What a way to spend a Thursday night. I thought to myself as I rubbed my hand across my eyes. Or a Friday morning, I amended as I glanced at my watch. I only had a few more paragraphs to write before I could go home. My thought process was interrupted by a loud screech in the otherwise quiet library.
"Bella, it's two in the morning. You've been here since six! I thought something had happened to you!" Rosalie exclaimed.
"I'm sorry, I just need to finish this paper on cat dissection and then I'll come home," I replied and looked back down to my dissection textbook just as it was ripped out from under my nose.
"This paper isn't due for another week! You are going to go home and go to bed. And tomorrow night we're going to go out. To a party… or to dinner, or anywhere that is not this library. Do you understand me?"
As I started to respond, she grabbed the rest of my books, shoved them in my backpack and yanked me out of my chair. As she pushed me towards the door, I finally managed to argue. "I can't go out this weekend! I have reviews to finish and midterms are coming up! And what do you mean I'm going home? What about you?"
"I have a political science test tomorrow that I have to study for," Rosalie answered, because she is a horrible hypocrite. But she is a horrible hypocrite that still managed to push me out of the library on that fateful night and for that I will always be grateful, not that I would ever tell her that. Rosalie and I had known each other for a little over a year and I can say with complete sincerity that she is the best friend I have ever had. We met during freshman year when we ended up on the same floor of our residence hall and we connected instantly despite being polar opposites. Rosalie was tall, tan, blonde, and blue eyed. She was a cheerleader in high school. She went out with friends and partied almost every weekend. She was a perfect, All-American girl. She was so American, in fact, that I'm pretty sure her ancestors came over on the Mayflower.
As for me, well, I was no Rosalie. My parents, Charlie and Renee Swan, had come over from Ireland in 1983 seeking job opportunities, making me a first generation American. Everything about me was Irish, from the roots of my dark chestnut hair to my dark brown eyes, ivory complexion and freckles. I could see it in the way I talked, the food I ate, and even the music I liked. Where Rosalie was cheerful and outgoing, I was shy and reserved. I would rather stay inside with a book than go out to the frat houses and most of my time was devoted to schoolwork because I was able to afford college thanks only to numerous scholarships. However, despite our differences, Rosalie and I managed to become friends and then roommates and we'd been quite happy together ever since. We had developed the ability to balance each other perfectly; she made sure I had some fun every once in a while and I made sure she occasionally did her homework, I did the dishes and cleaned the room and she did my laundry because she knew how much I hated it. She did her homework in the room because she liked background noise and I went to the library because I liked quiet. We had established a routine, a rhythm and it suited us. All that changed the day I was exiled from the library.
I was lost in thought as I left the library to walk home. I could feel the cool air against my face and I relished the crispness of the October night. It was dark, but the streetlights shone, highlighting the colors on the trees. This was my favorite time of the year and I couldn't wait for Halloween to come around. I loved watching children run around, laughing and having fun. I loved the costumes, the candy, the decorations. I loved the fact that for one night a year you could be anyone you want and not have to follow anyone's expectations. My mind was occupied with my thoughts on costume ideas when suddenly I was on my back on the ground looking up into the most gorgeous pair of chocolate-colored eyes I'd ever seen. I felt my mouth fall open and I found myself unable to look away.
"Are you alright?" I heard a husky, slightly accented voice ask as I stared. My cheeks reddened as the blood rushed to my face when I realized he was talking to me and I was staring at him with my mouth open like a goldfish.
"I'm . . . um . . . I'm f-f-fine," I managed to stutter out, forcibly pulling my eyes away from the enchanting orbs in front of me. Bad idea. This drew my focus off his eyes and onto the rest of him. The first thing I noticed were the desert fatigues with the name Cullen sewn across the pocket. He was a soldier, probably in the Marine Corps from the look of his utility uniform. His legs looked to be thicker than some tree trunks. His shoulders were broad, leading down to thickly muscled arms and large, long-fingered hands that were currently extended toward mine in an effort to help me to my feet. As the bruise on my face could probably attest, his chest was just as hard and toned as the rest of him. I could feel the strength in his hands and I could see the rippling in his arms where his muscles tensed and released as he pulled me up from my position on the ground. While standing in front of him it was easy to see how I could mistake him for a wall. He towered over me, my head barely coming to his shoulder and just standing still he took up the whole sidewalk. Our eyes met again and I blushed as I realized from the breath-taking smile spread across his face that he had caught my somewhat lengthy perusal of his body.
"Are you sure you're okay?" he asked again, his voice amused. I stared up at his face, having to tilt my head back so far I thought I'd get a crick in my neck, and finally managed to get my voice under control.
"I'm fine, thank you. I'm very sorry for running into you."
"Oh no, it's fine. I'm not the one who fell on my ass, after all." The smug grin widened and I got a flash of perfectly straight teeth that were so white they should have been in a Crest commercial. I felt my breath catch and all thoughts left my head, replaced with the glorious sight of his smile. "Make sure to keep your eyes on the road. Wouldn't want you to hurt yourself." He turned his body away and started to walk towards the street. I readjusted my backpack, while noticing that the view from the back was just as nice as the one from the front, before turning to face Williams Hall and continuing my journey to my dorm, even more distracted than I was before. I unlocked the door to the hall and walked across the lobby to the staircase. Luckily my dorm room was only on the second floor, so it didn't take long to get my door open, climb the ladder to my loft, and collapse into bed, fully dressed. I fell asleep to thoughts of a deep, hoarse voice and twinkling brown eyes.
Four hours later, my alarm went off, jerking me out of a very intense dream. I could hear my pulse pounding in my ears, my breaths came out in short gasps and for the first time in a long time I felt the need to touch myself. I could feel the dampness in my panties and the throbbing ache between my legs was becoming almost unbearable. I groaned and threw my arm over my eyes, trying to block out my blinking alarm clock and the images running through my head. I searched my mind, trying to remember the last time I had felt this aroused. My mind flew back to the last time I had sex, which was . . . oh wow, two years ago.
"God, no wonder I feel like this," I muttered out loud, groaning against my arm. No woman should ever have to go two years without an orgasm, but it's been that long since I'd had a boyfriend. Before Jacob I had no sexual experience whatsoever. We had dated for a year and a half while in high school and I had given him my virginity at the age of 17 after a year of dating. Sadly, the relationship fizzled out shortly after but it had left me with the knowledge that it never feels as good to touch yourself when you could have someone else do it for you. Since gaining this knowledge, I had generally avoided masturbation because it seemed too desperate, and too lonely, and now I was seriously debating changing this because of one guy that I had barely said ten words to. Feeling disgusted with myself, I ripped off my covers and climbed down the ladder.
Across the room, I could see Rosalie's perfectly made bed and realized she had never come home. It was 6:15, I had 45 minutes before I had to be at the hospital for clinicals so I tossed on my scrubs, grabbed my car keys and walked quickly to the parking deck right outside my building. Despite my burning desire for coffee, I took a moment to admire my car as I always did. It really was the nicest thing I owned and it was the first thing I had paid for on my own. I had found the body of the blue '96 Ford Mustang in a junk yard my junior year of high school and my brother and two of my cousins had rebuilt the engine, labor free, for my birthday that year. I unlocked the doors and slid into the cool leather seats, once again thankful that I had saved enough money to buy my baby. I pulled up at the Dunkin' Donuts drive thru and ordered two coffees and a box of Munchkins. Two minutes later, I pulled up outside the library and parked the car. I could see Rosalie through the window, passed out on top of her political science textbook and I shook my head and smiled fondly at my roommate. She always was a procrastinator, so she often ended up sleeping in the library the night before a big test in any of her classes. As I walked into the library, I nodded at the dozing girl at the service desk who had been in one of my nursing classes last semester and then turned left to walk to Rosalie's table. A quick time check told me it was only 6:30, which meant I had about 20 minutes to eat breakfast with my roommate.
"Rosie! Oh, Rosie!" I chirped in her ear as I waved the coffee under her nose. Her eyes opened blearily and she gave a sleepy smile when she saw the Dunkin' Donuts bag.
"A goddess. You are a goddess," she moaned as she took the first sip of her coffee. "Aren't you supposed to be at clinicals?"
"I had a few minutes to spare so I thought I'd bring you a pick-me-up," I replied with a sweet smile and Rosalie just laughed gratefully.
"As much as I appreciate this, don't think it gets you out of going to a party with me tonight," Rosalie said, still smiling merrily as I groaned.
"Where are we going?" I asked.
"A friend of mine is having a house party. It's invitation only and it'll be pretty small so I figured it was a good place to start. But it will still be crazy fun! Don't worry."
"Oh, good. I was going to start panicking," I replied sarcastically and picked up a Munchkin. We ate in silence for a few minutes and when I glanced at my watch, I realized I had to get to the hospital. "I'm going to head out. I'll see you at home later, right? Good luck on your test."
"Thanks, Bella. Have I told you lately that you're the best?" I laughed as I walked away and dropped my coffee cup in the garbage outside the front door. As I pulled up outside the hospital, I remembered that I hadn't told Rosalie about the guy I had bumped into and subsequently had wet dreams about. I pulled out my phone and sent her a quick text message telling her I had a story for her and not to let me forget.
After what felt like a century of hospital time we were finally let go. I got back to the dorm room around 12:30 and jumped in the shower. As anyone who has ever worked in a hospital can attest to, working with sick people makes you feel sick. Sometimes a shower is the only thing that can take away that feeling. I was blow-drying my hair in front of the sinks in the bathroom when Rosalie walked in. She leaned against the sink next to me and crossed her arms in front of her chest. I looked at her and raised my eyebrow, silently asking what she wanted. She smiled at me, a smug little smile that made her cerulean eyes light up mischievously.
"So?" she asked.
"So, what?" I replied over the whirring noise of the blow drier.
"The story, Bella! Don't leave me hangin' here!" she exclaimed as she gestured wildly with her hands.
"Let me finish my hair. It's too hard to talk over this thing," I said with a grin, gesturing to my hair drier. We sat there together without speaking until I had finished. One of the things I appreciated most about Rosalie is her ability to know what I need without me having to say anything. Although she was bright and bubbly, she didn't feel the need to fill the silence with chatter. We sat together lost in thought and the silence was never awkward or uncomfortable. As I finished, I wrapped the cord around my blow drier, grabbed my brush and walked out the bathroom door, down the hallway to my room with Rosalie following a few steps behind me. She dropped down onto the futon as I stored my hair care products in my closet.
Our dorm room was pretty standard. It was a small room divided by a half-wall with loft beds and desks on one side and a living area on the other. The closets were nothing more than cubbyholes in between the door and the beds. The living area housed a futon, a mini-fridge, a microwave, some shelves, a TV with a stand and our insanely large collection of movies. We had spiced up the room with some posters of Harry Potter, Led Zeppelin, and King Fu Panda along with some Winnie the Pooh coloring book pieces from times of boredom earlier in the semester. It was a classic college dorm room, but it was home.
"Pitch Black is on," Rosalie said, turning on the TV and going to the sci-fi channel. I smiled and let out a small laugh. We both had a secret love for all science fiction movies, especially the disgustingly bad ones. We might have been the only girls in the world who could have sat through the Star Wars marathon we had last weekend. I shook my head as I heard Rosalie muttering about all the dirty, perverted things she wanted to do to Vin Diesel, and I plopped down on the couch next to her.
"That position is harder than the Kama Sutra makes it sounds," I replied to one of her more vulgar ideas. She laughed and looked at me incredulously as I failed to hide my grin. A commercial came on and I remembered the reason that Rosalie hadn't come home last night. "How did the test go?"
"It was ridiculously easy. There was one question about Lambda that I was unsure about, but I finished it in 20 minutes so it gave me lots of time to think about this story you have to tell me. So spill it!" I could feel the blush spreading across my face as I thought about last night. And this morning.
"When I left the library last night, I kind of . . . ran into somebody. Literally." I proceeded to tell her every tiny, insignificant detail about my two-minute interaction with the most gorgeous man on the planet. She looked over at me in shock because despite the jokes about Vin Diesel and the Kama Sutra, I rarely paid any attention to men and I had told her I had no interest in dating. I laughed at her shocked expression. "It gets worse."
"How so?"
"I had a dream about him last night," I replied, looking down at my lap.
"What kind of dream?" Rosalie's eyes gleamed and I knew she was mocking me.
"What kind of dream do you think it was?" I asked in exasperation.
"Are you going to tell me about it?"
"No!" I exclaimed.
"Please? Just a few details?" she pleaded. Her eyes went wide and her bottom lip jutted out as she stared at me, waiting for my answer. Despite my embarrassment I never could resist the puppy face.
"Um, it was . . . intense. Let's just say I'm glad you weren't here last night or you might have heard some embarrassing noises." I ducked my head with a grin as Rosalie squealed next to me.
"You're blushing! How cute! Are you going to see this guy again?"
"I doubt it. I didn't even get his name. Besides, he's obviously a Marine, meaning he probably doesn't go here," I retorted, my voice becoming sarcastic at the end. Rosalie huffed indignantly and then furrowed her brow in concentration. We lapsed into silence as the movie came back on and we watched the amazing battle skills of Riddick.
Four hours later, after seeing both Pitch Black and Chronicles of Riddick, we decided to run to the cafeteria and grab a quick bite to eat before we started getting ready to go out. By the time we brought dinner back to the dorm room it was a little after six o'clock. We ate in front of the TV while watching an episode of Will and Grace. Dinner was never great on Fridays because the cafeteria just took anything that was left over from earlier in the week and made it into casseroles but today was especially bad. I forced the food down because I knew that we would be drinking tonight and I had learned from my few adventures freshman year that drinking on an empty stomach was just asking for trouble. After the show ended I grabbed Rosalie's Styrofoam container and walked into the hallway to throw them in the garbage outside the door. When I walked back in, Rosalie was standing right in front of me with a wicked smile on her face and a straightener in her hand. As soon as I saw her I began to slowly back towards the door, hoping maybe she hadn't seen me.
"Where do you think you're going?" I cringed and looked up at her sheepishly.
"Oh don't give me that face. I'm going to straighten your hair and you're going to borrow that black shirt of mine and you're going to look pretty, understood?" she barked at me. I nodded my head and sat down on the worn, black futon. She started pulling and tugging on my long brown hair while chattering about the party. "So, planning on talking to any boys tonight?"
"No, mother," I replied, rolling my eyes. "You know I don't have time for all that."
"But what about the boy from last night?" Rosalie whined.
"What about him?"
"I thought this meant you were finally opening up your options. Getting out into the world, so on and so forth."
"I opened up my options to one guy who I'm never going to see again. That doesn't mean that I'm going to go sleep with everyone I see."
"But you'd hook up with the Marine?" she asked with an eyebrow raised in disbelief.
"I would definitely think about it. Not that it matters because I'll never see him again."
"Bella, promise me something. Promise me that if you see someone you like tonight you'll at least give him a chance. I worry about you! I know you're lonely and I just want you to be happy. Think about it, okay?" Rosalie pleaded.
I hesitated, looking at my best friend's face, twisted with worry. "I'll try, but don't count on anything," I finally conceded. She nodded her head in acquiescence, slapped my back with a smile and told me to go get ready.
Two hours later we stood in front of the mirror together and Rosalie smirked. "Damn we're hot!" I just nodded my head and laughed at my roommate's antics. In her defense, we did look amazing, though that was nothing new for Rosalie. She was wearing a pair of tight jeans and low cut bright yellow shirt with crazy black designs that she paired with black heels. Her hair was crazy and curly and suited her personality perfectly. Her make-up was dark and smoky and gave her a mysterious look that was at odds with her bright, fun top. Rosalie had done my hair so it was soft and straight and fell halfway down my back. I wore blue jeans and a simple black halter-top I had borrowed from Rosalie. To spice up the outfit a little bit I had chosen my bright green stilettos and matching jewelry. My make-up was natural, just a bit of cover-up, mascara and Chap Stick, but I felt pretty. I grabbed my jacket as we exited and made sure Rosalie did the same.
"Where is this party anyway?" I asked as we locked our dorm room door and started off down the hall.
"It's at Tyler's," Rosalie sighed. I stifled a grin at the look on her face. Tyler was a friend of Rosalie's who shared an off campus house with a few other guys. I used the term friend loosely here because they were 'friends' who were completely in love with each other but refused to date because neither of them wanted a relationship. I kept trying to tell them that sleeping together exclusively, as they had been doing for months now, pretty much is a relationship, but I've had no luck so far. I knew I should be concerned because a party at Tyler's meant that Rosalie would be distracted all night and I would probably end up coming home alone, but I couldn't be mad when Rosalie looked so happy about going.
We left Williams, walking past a few other dorms and came out of campus at the corner of Main and University. When the light changed we stepped across Main Street and walked the two blocks down University to Tyler's off-campus house. The house was huge, with white and blue trim and there was a rocking chair on the porch that I had always kind of wondered about. Did it come with the house? I really couldn't see any of the boys bringing a rocking chair with them, but what a strange thing to leave behind considering the house had been unfurnished when they moved in. The house was even bigger on the inside than it looked. It had five bedrooms and 3 bathrooms, a living room that was twice the size of my dorm room, a dining room that housed three tables that had only ever been used for beer pong or flippy cup, and a large, modern kitchen that I doubt ever got much use except mixing drinks. I had been to parties here before and a good time was always to be had. Tyler may not be the brightest man Rosalie had 'not dated' but he definitely knew how to throw a party. As we walked up to the door it opened and Tyler stepped onto the porch as though he had anticipated our arrival. He was tall, probably about six feet, with brown hair and bright blue eyes that were currently watching my best friend with such adoration that it made me giggle a little. The small laugh snapped Rosalie and Tyler out of their love-induced trance and Tyler turned to me.
"Bella, you look gorgeous as always," he said with a charming smile, taking my coat.
"Don't flirt with me!" I replied and then lowered my voice and leaned in. "At least not while Rosalie's standing right here." Rosalie gave my butt a harsh smack and I squeaked and glared at her.
Tyler just sat there, laughing at our antics. "Come on in. Most people aren't here yet, but you can say hi to the guys if you want." The guys, of course, were Tyler's three roommates. I had ended up spending a lot of time with them in the beginning of the semester because Rosalie dragged me out to lunch or dinner with them constantly, worried that I wasn't having enough fun. I passed by Eric as I walked in the door and I gave a smile and a wave to the roommate I knew the least about. I knew he was a PoliSci major like Rosalie and Tyler, and I knew he was a Delt, but we'd never really spent any time together. I walked a little farther and saw Eric's best friend, the second roommate, Mike. He was across the room flirting with a blonde with obviously fake breasts and I sighed and shook my head. He was a really funny guy, but he had a weakness for busty blondes. It went dark suddenly as a pair of warm hands covered my eyes and a rough voice whispered in my ear.
"Guess who!"
"Fernando?"
"No."
"Enrique?"
"No."
"Miguel?"
"No, damnit!"
"Hi, Edward," I chuckled. The hands left my eyes and I turned to see my favorite of Tyler's roommates. Edward Cullen had become one of my best friends since Rosalie had introduced us and I knew he felt the same way. Edward and I were similar in that we were both the first generation of our families born in the U. S. His parents had come to the United States from Bulgaria and you could see his heritage all over him. He had the dark skin tone, the Eastern European accent on certain words, and he acted old school religious. Respect for elders, respect for women and strict Bulgarian Orthodox values dominated his life when he was in front of people. Although the respect for elders and women remained, when in private the strict religious values disintegrated. Out of respect for his family and his upbringing he didn't broadcast it, but Edward was homosexual. The only people that knew were Rosalie, his roommates, and myself.
I wrapped my arms around his waist and leaned into him. "You look amazing, Bells," Edward said with a smile. I leaned back a little and looked him over.
"You're not looking too bad yourself, Mister. Trying to pick someone up tonight?" Edward always looked good. He was dressed casually, in jeans and a polo shirt and he looked like your typical college frat boy, but he was always attractive.
"Just you, babe. Just you," he replied with a wide grin. I buried my head back in his chest and laughed quietly. It had become an inside joke between us that all of Edward's friends thought we were together with the exception of Rosalie and Tyler who knew better. We did nothing to discourage the rumors because they protected both of us in some way. It allowed Edward to avoid awkward questions about why he never dated and it allowed me an escape from being hit on by drunken coeds. He defended me faithfully and most people saw this as possessiveness when really it was a brotherly affection. This thought made me smile fondly into Edward's shoulder just as he spoke again. "Hey, we haven't really talked much this week and I have something I want to tell you."
"Oh! Me too!" I jumped up excitedly, realizing that I hadn't told him about my mystery Marine. "I ran into this guy last night and he was gorgeous!"
"Gorgeous huh? He must have been because you never notice guys. Let's get you a drink and you can tell me all about it. But my news first. My brother's here!" The smile that broke out across Edward's face was so bright it could have powered New York for weeks. His smile made me excited although I didn't know very much about Edward's brother. His name was Emmett, he was two years older than Edward, putting him around 23, and according to his brother, Emmett was the smartest, coolest, manliest man to ever walk the planet. Despite the obvious hero worship, we never really talked about Emmett because it made Edward upset. He missed him most of the time and Emmett never came to visit. I was excited and nervous and a little angry that Emmett was here. I couldn't wait to meet him because Edward loved him but at the same time I really wanted to beat him up for never visiting before.
"That's great, Edward! I get to meet him, right?"
"Of course!" he said as he handed me a red Soho cup filled with pink liquid. I raised an eyebrow, silently asking what was in the cup. "Vodka and pink lemonade. I'll make you something better later. I want you to be sober when you meet Emmett." I nodded and took a few gulps of my drink to steel my nerves before he grabbed my hand and pulled me from the bar in the living room to the dining room. As I turned the corner I was stopped by a hard chest in my face and all of a sudden I was hit with déjà vu as I looked up into a pair of twinkling brown eyes.
A/N: This is my first multichapter fic (hopefully it'll be multichapter). I'm going to try to update once a week, but because this is the first week I think I'll post another chapter just to give you a taste of what it'll be like. If you like it, leave love. If you don't, tell me why. Pretty please. With cherries on top.
