Disclaimer: I gain nothing from this but kind words. Most everything recognisable belongs to JKR, but the quotation is from an article in the newspaper about school reports and how they used to be so much better, essentially. Nowadays, it's all generic and the teachers just play 'pick the adjective'. The title is derived from the adjective most featured on my report cards over the years.
"Diligence in Spades"
'In the summer of 1969, my parents read that "sadly, his appearance still fails to impress'. The following year, I was looking as if I'd been "dragged through a hedge backwards."' – Anthony Selden, on his school reports.
All Katie Bell's reports lived in a box under the stairs – beside the boring generic ones of her five brothers which came from the muggle school down the road – each tied up in a bundle with a piece of string and neatly stacked.
Her parents never let her see the written reports from Hogwarts. Oh, they showed her the results, which were always fairly decent, but never the hand-written comments. It didn't bother her particularly, because, after all, she was a busy teenager with better things to do (like painting her toenails and reading up on new Quidditch moves) than hearing the opinions of her professors. So Katie never worried over what was said, assuming that if it had been awful someone would have picked her up on it – like hawk-eyed, stern Professor McGonagall – and if it wasn't, then she might as well keep going about things the same tried and trusted way.
Whatever that happened to be.
As it was, the reason her parents never showed her the reports was because they were saving them for her twenty-first birthday. Some of the content was too perfect to pass over, and the comic value of the honest words written by her magical teachers was utterly hilarious in the eyes of Mr and Mrs Bell. They were easygoing people.
Her dad (step-dad, really, but who was going to argue semantics when they'd taken his name?) preferred the Potions Professor's dry wit and snarky comments, while her mother always looked forward to hearing what Professor Sprout had to say (Katie wasn't much keen on Herbology, and it showed, often in amusing ways).
Of all the report cards Kates had ever received, her fourth year Potions one was her dad's absolute favourite. It went like this:
To Whom It May Concern,
Miss Bell's performance in Potions this year has been adequate, if somewhat unenthusiastic. While her grades continue to be reasonable, I have no trouble seeing her achieving a satisfactory mark in her OWLs next year, although, if she intends to obtain a higher mark (Exceeds Expectations, or Outstanding) she will benefit from removing her gaze from the back of Mister Montague's head and copying down the notes I have set for each lesson. Natural aptitude is fine for first to third year classes, after that, concentration on the present, and indeed non-fiction, is of vital significance if one wishes to remain wholly intact. Potions has always been a potentially volatile subject. (In accordance with this point, Miss Bell might like to purchase a very clever and useful object developed with the purpose of restraining hair. It is called a 'hair elastic' and it keeps long hair out of one's face, the fire, and the personal space of others. It is a remarkable invention).
Her practical potion work continues to improve, and her essays have been thorough. Of course, I'd appreciate if her class work contained less "doodles" – I am a teacher, and do not enjoy being exposed to teenage dramas, this includes but is not exclusive to: the current, past or future relationships of students in the school; how greatly a particular House cheated at the last Quidditch game; where Mister Oliver Wood can "have his broomstick shoved", nor the general consensus of the female portion of the class on the eternal question of Montague's preference for briefs or boxers.
Aside from these drawbacks, I anticipate that Miss Bell will maintain a satisfactory outcome in Potions, and hope to see her in the OWL level class next year.
Yours,
Severus Snape,
Potions Master, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Her mother's favourite was the second year report from Professor Sprout. The woman had tried to be kind, but Katie's ineptitude had forced itself so far into the subject that she was essentially a mobile hazard, and there was only so much you could say for a student as out of place as Katie Bell in a green house.
Still, Katie's mother thought, Professor Sprout had been very diplomatic.
Mr and Mrs Bell [it began],
Katie has proved herself to be an attentive student. She has applied herself to her work with only a handful of accidents causing injury this year, though her general ability has, unfortunately, not increased since her first year, as I had fervently hoped it would, and she continues to have less aptitude for Herbology than a dead worm. However, there is plenty of time to get her up to speed if some capability shines through in the coming years. We can only remain optimistic, after all.
I was most impressed by her quick actions following the 'Second Secateurs Incident' in May, where she managed to regain control of the agricultural tool before its spring could take flight and damage the eye or forehead of another student (I'm sure Mr Jordan was very grateful). Her unorthodox approach to dealing with the Venomous Tentacula, while an undesired method, was very successful from the perspective of a potential victim, as well, so the year has not been a complete loss.
Only fourteen ceramic pots were shattered this year, and only three of these were the kind impervious to magical repairs (that's four down on last year!).
Katie's written work continues to be diligent, and her marks have maintained a high average. It is solely the practical work that provides her with any trouble. Elsewise, she has diligence in spades.
At the moment, I wouldn't encourage her to continue with Herbology unless she has a true enthusiasm and desire to work in the industry because the safety of students is of foremost importance at Hogwarts, and Katie's presence in the green houses has become something of an escapade each time – I've never met a student who attracts so much trouble amid magical plants.
Regardless, Katie is a lovely girl and despite her lack of ability in Herbology I believe she will be a fine witch.
In Good Faith,
Pomona Sprout
It was a little strained on the kindness, but Professor Sprout's heart was in the right place. Katie just wasn't a Herbologist; no matter how you looked at it, she wasn't designed to play in the damp dirt with the worms and plants and bugs. They all knew it; Professor Sprout had just had to find a way to say it politely, taking a few deviations to lessen the (figurative) blow.
So Katie's parents waited for the tawny owls each summer with the pleasant tingle of anticipation, curious to see what Our Kate's teachers had to say, and tended to read them over a red wine in the study after dinner, chuckling over the eccentricities of each one, and wishing that their boys' held half as much entertainment.
End.
Well, this was utterly random. Regardless, please Read and Review Responsibly. Thank you.
