The moment she opened the door from the apartment into the hall Jane wished she could un-see what was happening right in front of her eyes.
Oblivious to the slack jawed gape that quickly morphed into a visceral rage on his sister's face, Frankie had kissed Maura. The pair caught up in a moment that had been a couple of tense and unusually close days in the making.
The kiss was tender and didn't really go on that long before he realised it felt weird. Before he could pull away he felt a firm hand tug on his shoulder, spinning his body so that his sister had a good view of his face.
Maura opened her eyes at the sudden absence of lips on her and gasped in surprise as Jane floored her brother with a left hook. She glanced down at Frankie who clutched at his mouth before retuning her gaze to the piercing dark orbs of her best friend. She opened her mouth to say something but quickly swallowed the words at the depth of betrayal she could see in Jane's dark eyes.
Jane's hand exploded with pain but she paid little attention to it, electing instead to stare down her best friend. On no level did it occur to the detective that she had overreacted. She had acted purely on instinct and her chest heaved under the pressure of her rage; a rage that hid the depth of the hurt she felt.
Once the red mist of rage started to clear she simply turned away and walked back into her apartment, slamming and dead bolting the door behind her. She wasn't in the mood for recriminations; she had too much on her mind between Casey's latest email and the fact she might be pregnant.
In the hall, tears had already started streaking down Maura's face at the reality of what had just happened. Jane had seen her kiss with Frankie and had reacted in such a manner that left the doctor feeling very confused and fearful. She knew what Jane was like when she felt betrayed and her eyes had made that feeling painfully clear.
"Maura, are you okay?" Frankie asked gently, having pulled himself up with the help of the wall.
Maura shook her head slightly before finally meeting the younger Rizzoli sibling's gaze. "We hurt her."
He really wanted to be angry at his sister for being such a hypocrite about his attraction to Maura. She had already warned him off once, in spite of the fact that she was considering a marriage proposal. He wanted to be angry badly, but he resigned himself to the fact that he should have known better. It wasn't Jane's fault that she had probably never allowed herself to accept the truth the red welt, soon to be bruise, on his face was telling. She was in love with Maura.
"Only because she's too damn stubborn to accept the truth." He muttered.
"Which truth would that be?" Maura asked while dabbing at her tears with some tissues she had pulled from her handbag.
Frankie tried and failed to stop the eye roll Maura's naivety prompted. For such an intelligent woman she could be so oblivious at times, perhaps never more so than this moment. He knew the right thing would be to let the two women sort it out, but then his sister was clearly so deep in denial and the doctor so emotionally clueless that he reasoned he was doing them a favour. Plus he was admittedly a little miffed that his sister had sucker punched him the way she had. "Jane's in love with you."
"Oh!"
"Yeah, oh." Frankie agreed. He placed his hand on Maura's shoulder for a moment in an attempt to comfort, before stepping past her on his way to the exit. "Good luck with that."
Maura watched Frankie flee the scene with a small shake of the head. Clearly the Rizzoli siblings had more in common than she thought; apparently they both ran when confronted with emotionally difficult circumstances. His assertion about Jane's feelings jumped to the forefront of her mind and it troubled her greatly, given that the night before Jane had confided her intentions to marry Casey. That was the entire reason she had decided to stop by, she just couldn't stand by any longer and play the happy friend when she believed Jane was making a mistake. Now she was certain of it.
She moved to the door and knocked firmly; she had to talk to Jane before she ran from a clearly emotional situation into the waiting arms of a man who had never shown a propensity towards putting the detective first. She couldn't lose Jane to Casey. Not now, not ever.
Please just open the door Jane.
Maura knocked more forcefully in an attempt to get Jane's attention. There was no way she was leaving until she had seen her friend and been able to speak with her. The betrayal she had witnessed in her friend's eyes gnawed at her intestines as she escalated from knocking to pounding on the door with her fist repeatedly.
Jane couldn't differentiate between the pounding in her head and the pounding against her apartment door. She sat slumped against the kitchen counter. Hot bitter tears stained her face and her left hand was chilled by the pack of frozen peas she'd pulled from the freezer to reduce the swelling; she was lost in her pain.
"Jane, please let me in." Maura begged from the hall.
Somewhere deep in her subconscious Jane recognised the desperation in the plea that barely registered in her conscious mind, but she wasn't sure she had it in her to care. It was too much. Especially following the email from Casey advising the he couldn't leave the army and that he had been offered a post in the Balkans and that he wanted her to join him there. That had been a real kick to the gut given that just the night before she had decided she would marry him – when the plan was to stay in Boston. After that email though, she had been ready to turn down the man she loved to stay in Boston. To stay with her family, with her friends… with Maura, but now she was sure that was a mistake.
"Talk to me Jane, please." Maura implored, desperate for any sort of indication that she was getting through to her friend.
Reluctantly Jane moved over to the door. Slumping down with her back against it she said, "Go away Maura, I'm not letting you in."
Maura breathed a little easier knowing that she had at least been acknowledged. She kicked off her heels and leaned against the door, drawn like a magnet to a refrigerator to the woman on the other side of it. She could tell that Jane was sitting near the door, and she would have gotten down to her best friend's level but her skirt made sitting in the hall against the door just a little impractical. Closing her eyes and exhaling she said, "I'm not going anywhere until we talk."
"I don't want to talk," Jane said in reply, pulling her knees up under her chin in an effort to self comfort against the vulnerability she felt.
"I'm not leaving until you do," Maura reiterated, her voice muffled by the door between them.
Jane sighed, knowing all too well that Maura was more than capable of matching her stubbornness when she saw fit. It just sucked in this situation where she was trying to make sense of her own feelings and actions. She wanted to leave. She wanted to tell Casey yes. She wanted to get away from Maura and all the crazy things she made her do and she really didn't want to look too deeply into why she had flattened her brother like she had. Because she was afraid of what it all meant.
Instead she climbed to her feet and yanked open the door only to be startled when Maura lost her balance at the loss of contact and fell into her arms. She steadied the smaller woman and helped her back to her feet.
"Throwing yourself at all the Rizzoli's today," she snapped sarcastically, instantly regretting the tone and choice of words upon seeing puffy, tear stained hazel eyes. Swallowing thickly, she averted her eyes downwards, disappointed in herself. "Sorry, that was… I'm an ass."
Maura sighed, tentative in her thoughts and her actions. She stood watching the detective refuse to meet her gaze and recognised the obvious shame that was felt. She was within her rights to say a few choice words in retaliation, but that was not the way she had been raised, furthermore she knew Jane was lashing out due to feeling hurt and vulnerable. There was no need to make matters worse, and yet she struggled to come up with an appropriate response now that she had gotten in the door.
Realising that the door was still open she turned and closed it gently, taking a moment to breathe and channel her thoughts. All of which melted away at the unexpected sensation of warm breath against her neck. She didn't need to turn around to know that Jane was incredibly close. They were almost touching, but not quite. She swallowed nervously, her voice breaking a little in question, "Jane?"
Jane was so close to Maura that she could feel the warmth radiating from her body. Her instincts screamed she wrap the woman up in her arms, but she resisted the temptation, instead planting a hand against the door, her arm beside the doctor. "Why him?"
I could ask you the same thing.
Maura hesitated, ignoring her initial thought. "It wasn't…"
The question turned into a rhetorical one as the detective continued her jumbled train of thought. "You could have any guy out there Maura…"
Maura could feel the tension radiating from the detective and wanted nothing more than to turn and face the emotion head on, but she suspected that if she did Jane would retreat. "I didn't…"
"Why Frankie?" She questioned once more, her voice a strangled whisper.
"He kissed me." Maura retorted, finally regaining some equilibrium. "He kissed me," she reiterated.
"You kissed him back." Jane said bluntly, not quite burying the visceral rage that still bubbled under the surface when she flashed back to what had happened outside her door.
"Jane, please." Maura began to turn around but stopped when she saw the detective withdraw her arm from against the door and take a step back. It was exactly as she had expected, Jane wasn't ready to have this conversation face to face. They were walking a precarious line, where she suspected they would never be the same again, especially if Jane retreated from the conversation.
Sighing heavily Maura caved, "Yes I kissed him back, but it was a momentary lapse. It was…"
Jane clenched both hands into fists before releasing them and without allowing Maura to finish she quietly asked, "Do you have feelings for him?"
Unable to take it anymore Maura turned around and searched the eyes staring questioningly at her. Reaching out she grabbed Jane's hands and held on determinedly when Jane tried to pull away. "Don't," Maura snapped harshly. "Stop fighting me Jane."
Jane's shoulders slumped and her gaze dropped, while she muttered, "You didn't answer my question."
"No Jane, I do not have any romantic feelings for Frankie, but what if I did? You're marrying Casey. I would think you would welcome my finding happiness with someone as loyal and considerate as your brother."
Jane lifted her gaze, her broken heart on clear display. "All I ever wanted was for you to be happy…. I just never realised…" She pulled her hands away from Maura and retreated further into the apartment, pacing back and forth.
"Never realised what?" Maura asked, her heart beating a little harder in her chest.
Jane stopped pacing and looked searchingly into Maura's eyes looking for some indication that the feelings that assaulted her heart and pried at her sanity were reciprocated. Her dark eyes darted from eyes to the heaving chest of the doctor, it was clear there were some equally intense feelings being felt but they could just as easily be anger related. She had after all been acting like a complete ass. It was now or never, because if she didn't, she never would and she would never be able to erase the vision of her brother kissing her best friend.
"Jane?" Maura prodded, aware that her best friend was searching her eyes for something.
In one swift motion Jane closed the distance between them, nudged Maura backwards into the door, her hands cradling the doctor's face as their lips crashed together. She felt Maura's hands land on her hips as the kiss deepened, not ending until they were both gasping for breath. Jane brought her forehead to rest against the door, right beside Maura's and between ragged breaths she admitted, "That I wanted to be the one to make you happy."
"Oh," Maura smiled and turned her head, her lips locking onto a pulse point on Jane's neck. She suckled briefly, pausing for a moment as she felt strong hands lift her up, her legs wrapped instinctively around the detective's waist and her arm's around her neck. "You do."
Jane carried Maura to the bedroom and placed her down on the bed. Looking down at the woman soon to be beneath her she smiled, "Good."
Before Jane could move any further though Maura put up her hand, "Wait…"
"What's wrong?" Jane asked, concerned that she had pushed too soon.
Maura sat up and asked, "What about Casey?"
"I can't marry him Maura," Jane replied seriously, "I won't. It's you Maura." It had taken years for the truth to push its way forward, and whilst it took seeing her brother making the move she should have made years ago to bring it to the light, she knew it to be true. They had so much to talk about, to sort out, but she knew, pregnant or not, Maura would be there for her. She always would. A genuine warm realisation of a smile curled at her lips, "It's always been you."
A/N: So yeah, this was based on me wondering what might have happened if Jane had seen that kiss, and of course making it a little angsty, because bah at fluff. I hope you enjoy. Thank you for reading. This is just a one shot.
