Lightning's Special Weekend

Chapter 1: The Fal'D

"GOD DAMNIT SNOW HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU I DON'T WANT A KID'S MEAL." Lightning screamed in Snow's ear while standing up. Snow was in the driver's seat of the luxury Lamborghini Gallardo LP570-4 Super Trofeo Stradale that he borrowed from the Fal'chryseler for a test drive to Fal'Donald's. "Lightning, Serah wants a Double Heart Attack Fal'Burger, and I'm going to give her one. I know you love Burger L'cie, but Serah wants this, so we're here." Snow said. "Ugh." Lightning sat down and crossed her arms angstily. "I want a kid's mea..." Hope was cut off by Vanille. "OOoooOoo! I want a pony toy!" She orgasmed. Hope was not happy. Shulk Jr. took out his boomerang and shoved it up her ass. She instantly collapsed in the back seat. Hope began feasting on his meal. "Sir, can I take your order...?" Asked the disgruntled Fal'D's worker. Snow turned back to the speaker. "Uh, yea! Can I get a Double Heart Attack Fal'Burger with extra large fries, three kid's meals..." Lightning punched Snow in the head. Snow corrected himself, "...three kid's meals..." Lightning punched him again which caused him to pass out and slam on the gas. He rammed that $256,300 car right into the one ahead of theirs. Snow was slammed through the windshield from the one foot impact and smoozled right in between their cars. Vanille and Hope gasped as they noticed who they had ran into. THEY SLAMMED RIGHT INTO THE BLACK CONVERTIBLE OF THE FINAL FANASTY 15 SUGOI BOOTY BOYS AND THEY DID LOOK BITTERLY FUCKED AT THE STATE OF THEIR EXPENSIVE NEXT GEN CAR. "YOIU MOTHER FUCKERS THAT WUZ MY DAD'S CAR!" Screamed the Prince Noctis. "GET THEM!" The next geners took out their HD remastered swords. "Heh, we can take them!" Lightning menaced at the four faggots. They lined up, but then Lightning had an epiphany. "Oh fuck they're real time." Lightning transformed into her McQueen form. "Get in." She commanded. "Heheheheh!" Vainella jazzed a little and hopped in dragging Snow by his beanie. His face had been corroded. Hope got in the driver's seat. "Vroom vroom!" He put his little feet on the gas peddle, but Lightning held the pedal down herself and smashed his toes. "AHHHH!" Hope screeeeeeched. Lightning sped away from those faggots and continued on to somewhere everyone would enjoy. Chipotl'cie.

Lightning made it to Chipotl'cie but the drive thru was FUCKING CROWDED AGAIN. "Ugh." Lightning moaned. "Everyone out." Everyone got out except for Snow because he was passed out, so Lightning ejected his bitch ass. He flung right into the corner of the building and had more of his face peeled off, but then Vanille used Cure and he was back to normal, but still passed out. Lightning went up to him and snatched his credit card. "Heh. Chumps paying for this." Lightning and friends entered Chipotl'cie but Vanille still had to carry Snow. Hope tapped Lightning on the shoulder, but she was busy looking at the menu. "Hey Lightning... Lightning... Liiiiighninnnnggg..." Shulk Jr. whined pulling on Lightning's sleeve. "WHAT?" She shot around and punched him in the nose. "I want a kids meal..." He turned around pouting at his nose. Vanille giggled and put Snow down in a booth seat. "Vanille?" Lightning beconned for Vanille's choice. "Oh, you know, the regular, heehehe." Vanille waffled. Lightning sighed and confronted the cash register, "I'll take an Atomic Barl'cieto, a salad for my sister, and two kids meals." Lightning finished "All right, that will be $6.39," the cash register said. But then Lightning saw Snow grumble in his sleep. She turned back to the cash register. "Make that three kids meals." Lightning paid the register man and was handed the bags of food. Lightning just finished grabbing the food when Vanille made a scene. "Oh Hope, you are such a BABYY getting a kids meal!" Vanille teased, jabbing at Hope's ribs until blood spurt out of his nose onto the cash register's face. "GET THOSE STUPID DISGUSTING BLOOD BAKERS!" The cash register howled soooo loud it woke up Snow. "AHHHH!" Snow screamed and grabbed Vanille and Hope and burst out the Window. Lightning was surrounded, but she had the food. Suddenly gunshots cleared a path for her. It was Sahz! "Yo, you go ahead, ill catch you later." And so Lightning ran out the exit with the food. She saw Snow in a truck now. Lightning sighed and got in the passenger seat. "Nice truck." She commented sarcastically, even though it was a BRAND SPANKIN NEW DODGL'CIE TRUCK! Lightning set the food bags down in the middle and was about to buckle up. "Yo Lightning, do me a favor and fill up the truck, there's some gas in the trunk." Snow smiled heroically. "Ugh. Fine." Lightning got out, glancing at the giggling Vanille and Hope in the back seat. As she opened the trunk she heard rustling. "What the-" Lightning looked around and saw there was no gas can! She suddenly had a flash back. When she was in the car- THE FUEL GAUGE SHOWED FULL! "No!" Lightning slammed shut the trunk and tried to open her door- locked. Lightning pounded on the tinted window, unable to see inside. "SNOW GOD DAMNIT LET ME IN!" Lightning pounded for 5 minutes straight before he unlocked the door. Lightning opened it and got in. "Hehe. Relax Lightning, we were just messing with you. It was Vanille's idea." Snow cackled. Lightning crossed her arms and looked away. "Don't worry- I didn't eat your lunch- hear you go." Snow passed her the bag. Lightning opened it to find the Atomic Barl'cieto in tact. Lightning let out a sigh of relief. "I thought you locked me out to eat my barl'cieto." Lightning sighed. She grabbed it and unwrapped it to reveal A KIDS MEAL! "I thought the barl'cieto was for m-" Lightning instantly chucked the kids meal into Snow's mouth and started pounding on him. "YOU ATE MY FUCKING BARITO!" Vanille got scared so Hope took out his boomerang and lynched her until she passed out, then he slammed Lightning's head and she passed out.