Don't Look Back

Kristoff hadn't meant to look back. He had fully intended on passing through the castle gates, across the town square, and out of that godforsaken kingdom forever. He cursed himself for agreeing to do this delivery, having been able to stay away for as long as he had. But something tugged at his consciousness and he couldn't stop it. The force was like a magnet, pulling him in the direction he was now staring.

Anna was in the middle of the town square, a group of people crowded around her. She was laughing, a good hearty, very Anna kind of laugh, and it made his heart ache. It had been three years since he had last seen her, after he had snuck out of the castle in the middle of the night like a coward, fleeing to the mountains after her devastating news to him.

I can't marry you, she had said, between hitching sobs, her hands wringing.

Kristoff had taken her into his arms and rubbed her back gently, shushing softly into her hair.

Shhh, it'll be okay, he had said, but didn't mean it. It would not be okay, never be okay, but he didn't want her to cry. He had known it would come to this, it had to, that was just the way of things, even though her sister was queen she still couldn't change the laws.

He soothed her as best as he could that night, with soft kisses and caresses, with tender lovemaking and whispered admissions of love. When she was sufficiently calm and sleeping peacefully, he had gathered up his things and left.

Now, he was seeing her again, and the memories of that night came flooding back to him. The sweet smell of her hair, the feeling of her soft skin beneath him, the sound of her blissful moans in his ear. He touched a finger to his lips, almost feeling her on him, could taste her. It awakened feelings in him he hadn't felt in years, hadn't permitted himself to feel. He had buried those feelings long ago, although he would sometimes wake in the night, heart racing, eyes moist, her name on his lips.

She was standing before him now, and he was grateful for the distance and the large crowd obscuring him from view. She looked the same, still Anna, the same strawberry blonde hair. Except instead of her customary two braids it had been swept up into a tidy braided bun. He suddenly noticed other differences too, subtle ones that no one else would have noticed. Her posture was changed, ever so slightly. She stood taller, back straighter, more regal. More like her sister.

Kristoff hadn't noticed before, but there were two children at her feet, seemingly the cause of her laughter. One was a boy, with shaggy blond hair, and the other was a girl, similar hair colour, but with a hint of red. They looked to be twins, and they were still very small, barely walking, but they were determined, reaching for something in Anna's hand. She was teasing them, holding aloft some chocolate, just out of their reach, but she couldn't hold out much longer and gave in, swooping them both in her arms.

Kristoff watched the scene unfold, heart clenching, stomach churning. This was a domestic scene he could never have with her, and the visual realization hit him full force. He bent over, feeling physically sick, fighting down the bile rising to his throat. Sven nudged him sadly with his antlers, as if to say, stop torturing yourself. Let's get out of here.

Slowly, not wanting to tear himself away but realizing Sven was right, he turned and urged Sven on, pulling out of the square.

At that moment Anna looked up, and thought she saw the flash of blond hair and reindeer antlers at the edge of the crowd.

Could it be? She thought, but was interrupted by a woman who appeared at her side, curtseyed, and then picked up the two children at her feet and carried them away.

When she looked up again the crowd was dispersing, and there was no mountain man, no reindeer at all in her sight.