Chika had never been so intimidated by a slip of paper. Sure, all those tests over the years were scary and tough, but they paled in comparison to what sat in front of her. Even in the comfort of her own room, and with Riko and You sitting at the same table, she couldn't bring her pen down to paper.
The large lettering across the top read Post-graduation plans and the boxes below for her to fill out remained empty. She sighed, blowing up a tuft of hair as she rested her cheek in her palm. Her own future was never something she put much thought in, for countless reasons. Instead, choosing to focus on others and push them toward their own goals, never expecting to have to put much thought into where she'd go with her own future.
"Why do they even have to give us this dumb thing anyway?" Chika asked, tossing the pen to the side. "It's only the first day of our third-year, and I'm already super stressed out. Couldn't they have waited a little bit?"
Riko looked up from her book. "They gave them to us because it's our last year. Honestly, you should have been thinking about this a long time ago. It's getting pretty late to start deciding on things like universities."
"Riko's right, you know?" You smiled, looking up from her sketches. Chika huffed. "We've even turned ours in already."
"Traitors," Chika grumbled, reaching back over for the pen only to gnaw on the end. She tried to focus back down at the foreboding slip of paper. "I hate trying to think about stuff like this."
The idea of life after high school had become much more personal and relatable. Chika used to see her days as a working woman in society as some far off dream, but the past months changed that. With Kanan, Dia and Mari all moving away to attend universities, and starting her third-year, Chika had put more thought into where she wanted to be than ever before.
They were never the most pleasant thoughts, and the disbanding of Aqours only seemed to stress that. Her constant wasn't there anymore. The one tangible thing that helped her find a sense of worth was gone. It was a unanimous decision amongst the whole group, even Chika herself, but that wouldn't take away the feeling of loss. The feeling that she was just a simple and normal girl.
She couldn't pinpoint exactly when the thoughts of not being enough took over. They had always been there, she supposed, even if she couldn't explain why. Aqours was good at dulling it, pushing back those fears that maybe she didn't deserve any of the praise or accolades they received. The rest of the group did, of course, but not her.
A plain and uninteresting girl who had a knack for cheering on amazing people. That was the reason Aqours was so important. Chika's love of idols spurred her on more than anything else, but there was always the need to push others forward. A need to help everyone around her bring out their best. Because she had long since accepted that she didn't have a best to pull out. And that was fine. As long as she had Aqours, that was fine.
Chika squeezed down hard on the pen in her hand, leaving small red indents on her palm. Post-graduation plans. The words were new and scary. Optimistic dreams that she'd never had before were circling in her head, but they were all blocked out by one overwhelming and harsh thought. What could she do? The daughter of an inn owner with subpar grades and a penchant for being overly cheerful. Her only achievement was starting a school idol group, but she wasn't the one that made that group amazing. No. That was everyone else.
"If you guys won't help me, could you at least tell me what you put down?" Chika asked with a hint of exasperation in her voice. But she'd try and hide it. This wasn't You or Riko's problem after all. "I can't think of anything."
Riko peered up from her book with wide eyes as she looked between Chika and You. She closed the book and set it off to the side. "I'm applying for a school in Tokyo that has a music program I'm interested in. I've already told you about all this before. DId you forget already?"
"Oh, right." Chika chuckled, rubbing the back of her neck before perking back up. "You're going to be an amazing pianist in some super famous orchestra, and I'll be there for your first performance. It'll be amazing, and at the end, You and I will cheer the loudest so you can hear both of us."
"I haven't even gotten accepted into the school yet." A small smile tugged at Riko's lips, her cheeks a light red.
"Don't worry about that. You're so amazing, there is no way they'll say no." Chika looked over to You. "You think so, too, right?"
"Of course." You smirked. "Who could say no to the talented and beautiful Riko Sakurauchi?"
"This is too much you two." Riko covered her face. "And Chika, you should get back to figuring out what you want to do."
"In a minute. This is important." Chika brushed a hand in front of her face. She shifted her body, and attention over toward You. "And what are your plans for the future, Miss Watanabe."
You giggled, leaning in toward Chika. "I've already told you, but I'm aiming for an athletic scholarship. There's going to be a scout from Tokyo coming to my next diving competition, and I'm going to make sure that I impress her. It'd be like a dream to get on a good universities diving team."
"Well, I've watched all your tournaments, and I know that you're the best diver ever. So you've got nothing to worry about." Chika plopped back down, laying her hands flat on the table. "When you're competing in a big national tournament in front of thousands of people, I'm going to cheer you on just like I always have."
You gave a quick salute. "I'll do my best, then."
"Alright, that's enough messing around," Riko spoke up. "Chika, you should write something down. That form is due tomorrow, you know? And asking us about our future plans isn't going to help."
"I know. I know." Chika's eyes reluctantly fell back down onto the paper. A healthy dose of dread settling in the pit of her stomach. "I guess I just don't know what I should write."
With a deep sigh, Chika brought the tip of the pen down onto the paper. Could she go on to do amazing things like Riko and You? She doubted it. Some big university in a grand city like Tokyo wasn't the right fit for someone so aggressively average. Even local schools seemed out of reach. What could they want from someone stuck in delusions of being an amazing school idol?
She closed her eyes, and with a few quick flicks of the wrist, filled out the top box. There wasn't much, if any, thought put into the decision. But she figured it was fitting.
"Oh, you actually wrote something," You said, reaching across the table. "Let me see."
Before Chika could react, You had already swiped the paper away. "Hey, give that back."
"I want to see what you wrote." You held up a hand. Chika didn't continue, sitting back down with a pout.
Chika waited for the inevitable reaction, and from the way You's smile dropped, it wouldn't take long.
"Is this really what you want to do after high school?" You asked, sliding the paper to a curious Riko.
"Is there something wrong with it?" Chika turned her head to the side. She felt like a petulant child, holding her nose up at genuine concern. But she didn't feel the answer had earned such sincere and loving worry.
"Well, I guess not." You's smile disappeared, her lips a tight line. "But are you sure that you want to work at the Inn when you graduate? You used to always talk about moving to the big and shiny city when we were little."
"You is right, Chika." Riko set the paper down and slid it back to Chika. "It's not that working at the inn is a bad thing, but don't you want to do something different?"
Chika could feel the sweat building on her forehead and her palms. A knot formed in her throat, but she could swallow it down for now. This wasn't anything she hadn't expected.
"I thought it would be nice to stay here with my family, ya know?" Chika looked down at the table, her eyes transfixed on her hasty and scribbled answer.
"Sure, but." You trailed off, glancing between Chika and a concerned Riko. "You know if things go well for Riko and me, we'll be in Tokyo next year. Are you sure you're okay with that?"
"Why wouldn't I be." Chika found it in herself to lift her head, but her eyes looked anywhere but the other two in the room. "You two are going to be doing amazing things, and I'm going to support you guys the whole way."
"Thank you, Chika," Riko said, voice quiet. She tentatively reached out, taking one of Chika's hands into her own. "But You and I would like it a lot more if you were there with us. Aren't you the one who said the three of us would be together forever?"
"Of course I want us to be together." Chika rose her voice. Emotions leaking out that she hadn't meant. "But it's too late for me to be thinking about following you guys. And it's Tokyo, not some small little local schools."
Chika gnawed on her bottom lip and waited for something. It was spilling out more than she ever thought, and it all felt like shifting the blame onto You and Riko. It was unfair, or at least she thought it was. They had dreams, goals, and aspirations that if they tried at, Chika had no doubt they could achieve. What did she have? Fears of making a step for herself, and taking the things that she wanted most for herself.
"It's not too late." You slid from her side of the table around to Chika's, pressing their shoulders together. "You've still got the rest of the year left, and we want you to be there with us so bad. I know you can do it, Chika."
"And it's not like you're going to do it all alone." Riko followed suit, sliding around to Chika's other shoulder, their faces close. "We'll be right here with you every step of the way. We will study and work as hard as we need to so you can follow a new dream for yourself. You've done so much for me, I can't give up on you like that."
It was harder for Chika to start. That knot in her throat grew and solidified. The unconditional love made it so difficult. She could only croak some half-hearted deflection. "There's no way I could do something like that. I'm not special like everyone else is. I'm plain old Chika, you know?"
"Don't say that," You said with a particular edge to her voice. She reached across Chika and snatched the paper away again, giving some inaudible signal to Riko before flipping the sheet over and starting to write something.
"Really, You?" Chika went to reach for the paper again, but a gentle hand on her thigh stopped her.
"It's okay, Chika," Riko said, hand offering it's reassuring pressure. "Let You finish, alright?"
Chika never could say no to Riko, especially in a moment where she felt so vulnerable. "Fine."
With a sigh, Chika leaned into Riko, allowing herself a moment to bask in the soft and loving body. The fear was still there, looming over everything, but she had Riko, and she had You. Things wouldn't be easy, she knew that, but they might be alright. Even if she couldn't follow them.
"Finished." You had self-satisfied smirk as she set the pen down. "Now it's your turn, Riko." She tossed the sheet of paper and pen.
"Not you, too." Chika groaned as a strong pair of arms held her tight.
"Trust us. I think you'll like what we're doing," You whispered as they looked on at Riko whose face was particularly animated.
Chika wiggled, doing her best to struggle, but it was no use. You could always get the better of her when it came to strength, though she never did complain about the secure feeling anytime she was in You's arms. "I don't like this."
"And I don't like it when you talk about yourself like that." You squeezed harder, her face buried into Chika's hair. "So I guess we're even."
The warmth and care of You's arms was almost enough to bring Chika to the brink. They loved her, it wasn't something she ever doubted, but moments like these reminded her that maybe she didn't have to keep herself on the sidelines.
"This was a good idea, You." Riko crept back to her spot next to Chika as she finished writing, leaning even closer in than the last time.
"I think It's the best way for Chika to understand how great she is."
Chika went to respond but was immediately shushed but You.
"And don't you dare argue with us on this," You said. Chika shirked back at her narrowed eyes. "Just please read what we wrote."
Riko placed a hand on Chika's back, rubbing up and down. "Everything we wrote down on here is the truth, got it?"
"Alright, fine. Let me read it."
She picked up the paper, flipping it over to see the sloppy and disorganized writings on the back. It was hasty handwriting spread all throughout the page, and at the top read the title. Why Chika is amazing. She started down at the list, each sentence as heartfelt and meaningful as the last.
Knows exactly what to do and say to cheer people up.
Always sees the best in people, and won't stop until they know it themselves. No matter how hard they try and say no.
If she puts her mind to something nobody can stop her. Even if she needs a little push sometimes.
My best and oldest friend that I love so much.
Helped me love myself as much as she loves me.
A big goof that won't stop until she can see everyone smile.
The founder of Aqours and the reason it kept going.
An inspiration to everyone.
A small bead of water dropped onto the paper that Chika could barely make out through her clouded vision. She tried wiping it away, instead smudging some of the letterings together.
There wasn't anything she could say. The fears were all still there, hiding somewhere waiting to come back, but this was enough. Chika had people who loved her, she already knew that, but this was an affirmation that she could be great. It might not be easy, but if she tried she could. And that was enough, to know that trying would be worth it.
Chika rubbed at her eyes, the tears streaking across her cheek and palm. She started, voice shaky and low. "Do you guys really think about me like this?"
"You're amazing, Chika." You leaned her head onto Chika's shoulder with a small laugh. "And Riko and I love you so much. We just want you to see that in yourself."
Riko pulled Chika's hand from her face, wiping stray tears from her cheek. "So let's be together forever like you said. Okay?"
Chika swallowed hard. Sniffing back tears. "You're right. We'll be together forever."
