I was in the mood to write crack.

Warning: OOCness

Beta by OtakuBroMelody

I don't own Kuroko no Basket


Winter Cup final 1

Akashi congratulated Kuroko, "...It's your team victory. Congratulations."

Mayuzumi went to them, "I gave Akashi to you like promised. I want the full collection of Hagure Yuusha no Aesthetica and High School DxD."

Kuroko smiled. "Thank you, Aniki."

"Call me Oni-chan." Mayuzumi replied.

Akashi felt his world falling apart. Kuroko sent a spy to him! Mayuzumi was the phantom's big brother! Who knows what the gray head blurted out! Like, when he forced the taller phantom to drink a lot of milkshakes, or when he praised the light blue haired teen. When he made a Kuroko shrine on the student council room or when he brought pictures of the smaller phantom from the black market and made Kuroko dolls!

"But you fought during the match!"

"Nice performance, isn't it?" Kuroko said. "Right, lil bro" Mayuzumi replied.

"Now, Akashi-kun, I have a whole year of blackmail material against you, so you are mine." Kuroko said with an evil glint on his eyes. "Call me Master."

Akashi felt like his whole life was a lie.

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Winter cup final 2

"The Winter Cup winner is Seirin!"

Seirin team cried from the joy, they hugged each other and yelled relieved "We don't have to confess naked to our crush!"

Akashi listened to them. 'They had such a burden?!' Rakuzan team thought, 'they won because they were really desperate!'

Rakuzan captain thought about Kuroko's crush. Akashi made a serious face like Kiyoshi when he said an idiocy 'I'm Kuroko crush!' Ah, his superior complex spoke! The red head imagined a naked Kuroko confessing his love for him. He cried bitter tears, He let slip such an opportunity! 'Is this defeat?'

Mayuzumi observed his captain from the distance and while he was reading the red head's thought, only a word came in his mind, 'pervert'.

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If Kuroko was the player who came from America when the GOM gathered before the Winter Cup.

Akashi went down the stairs with a scary aura. "You are Taiga's partner, Kuroko Tetsuya." he swung the scissor toward Kuroko's face. The phantom didn't move. Akashi stopped when the scissor touched the skin. Heterochromatic eyes met deep light blue ones. Akashi felt his heart beat faster and he lost his breath. "Why didn't you dodge it?"

"I knew you would stop. Also, I couldn't take my eyes away from you. I think I fell for you at first sight." Kuroko replied with deadpanned voice.

"I always win, therefore I'm always right! I'm absolute, I don't need another person!" 'Why do I feel so flustered and jumpy?'

"We can be absolute together." The phantom took Akashi's hand. The red head blushed deep and completely shakily chased Kuroko's touch away. "Stay away from me!" Akashi screamed scared, he ran away in full speed.

Kuroko smirked. "It's more fun when they run." The phantom disappeared from the GOM's sight.

The Generation of Miracles stayed paralyzed mouth faltering. This was the first time they saw their captain so afraid! And there was someone so crazy to fall in love with this psycho?! 'The world is wide.'

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Akashi went to Kuroko's house, but the phantom wasn't there. Kuroko's mother welcomed the red head and led him to her son's room. Akashi would wait for Kuroko to be there. Akashi saw something on the phantom's bed, an object very familiar to him. On Kuroko's bed, there was Akashi's teddy bear that he lost during middle school second year. The red head was assaulted by the memory between him and the stuffed toy. How much he loves it! The teddy bear accompanied the red head boy during his lonely childhood! When he lost it, Akashi cried alone for three months!

Akashi pondered why his teddy bear was there. Did Kuroko steal it? The Rakuzan captain imagined the phantom hugging with love the stuffed toy every night for three years. Akashi took out his scissor and stabbed repeatedly the teddy bear until there was only a shapeless mess. Jealousy is a very bad thing.

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If Kuroko and Akashi swapped body

Akashi, inside Kuroko's body, cried alone on a corner. Nobody could see him, nobody talked with him. Nobody remembered him. He couldn't order or threatened others! He wanted to hear praises! He wanted to see the people completely in his control! Akashi's mind wandered on an ominous path 'Do I really exist?' Akashi started to doubt his own existence.

Kuroko sat on a big throne. The people were kneeling under him. A simple gently smile and kind deeds were enough to conquest the hearts of the people. All of them raised toward the sky a vanilla milkshake. "Long live to the Kaiser!" Kuroko, inside Akashi's body, smiled mischievously, 'excellent.'

I don't know when I will update this fiction, probably when new crack will come to my mind. This was only a whim.