Saving myself

AN: This just came to me so I wrote it enjoy…

Chapter 1 – fight for me

(Should of kissed you there, I should of held your face, I should of watched those eyes instead of run in place. I should of called you out, I should of said your name, I should of turned around, I should of looked again. But oh, I'm staring at the mess I made, I'm staring at the mess I made, I'm staring at the mess I made, as you turn you take your heart and walk away.)

You've ruined it. Your friendship it's gone and you've never felt so much pain, EVER. You confessed your secrets you swore you'd never tell, you figured your best friend would understand and accept but boy was you wrong. And now you left standing outside in the pouring rain, things couldn't get worse but oh they do. Your phone rings and its dispatch, great now you'll have to see her again. You were hoping that you'd have more time before you had to see her but I guess luck, fate or karma aren't on your side. Walking back to your cruiser you know this is the beginning of a very big shit storm that you're just not ready to handle. You pull up the crime scene and see her car already there, you give yourself a moment to prepare to show no emotion. To show that you're not hurting right now, but it doesn't matter because from now on you're just going to detach yourself from everything and shut off your emotion permanently.

Getting out of your car you can tell it's going to be a hard case by the looks on people's face, as you get near the body you hear her explaining why she doesn't guess. You want to laugh because you love all the little quirky things about her but you don't laugh instead you harden your face and show nothing. Once you are standing next to the body you decide to just be harsh.

"We get it Doctor Isles you don't like to guess, blah blah blah. What can you tell us?" I ask as I hear some officer's snigger at the way I just talked to Maura.

"Well Detective I can tell you the victim is female and between 22 and 26. I will not speculate further until I have completed the autopsy." Maura said in her ice cold professional tone.

"Well thank you Doctor for your professional opinion." I say as I walk off not giving her time to reply.

I get to my car and I can hear her calling my name so when I get to my door I stop and turn, she's already in front of me. Dam that women can walk fast in heels. I don't feel like being nice.

"What" I ask gruffly.

"We need to talk." Maura replies.

"Are you forgetting earlier, I tried to talk to you but you left, you walked away not me." I say.

"I'm not talking about that. You cannot come to my crime scene YES MY CRIME SCENE JANE, and belittle me in font of all our co-workers it's not professional or becoming, so in future you will have the common courtesy to respect me as you know I am damn well good at my job. Do you understand me detective?" Maura asks angrily.

I don't have time to reply because out of the corner of my eye I see a black SUV slowly drive by rolling the window down. I don't think I just do.

"GUN!" I yell as I pull Maura and pin her between the car and myself protecting her from the flying bullets.

(Should of held my ground, I could have been redeemed for every second chance that changed its mind on me. I should of spoken up I should of proudly claimed that oh my head's to blame for all my hearts mistakes. But oh I'm staring at the mess I made, I'm staring at the mess I made, I'm staring at the mess I made as you turn you take your heart and walk away.)

I don't feel it at first but now I do, I've been shot more than once. I look Maura in the eye and she knows too, I can see everything in her eyes. Fear, hope, sadness but the main things are love and regret. The gun shots stop and the car speeds off, the silence is thick in the air. I look at Maura.

"Are you okay?" I ask.

"Yeah." Maura replies.

"Good." I say as I fall to the floor with a thud.

Maura is down on her knees next to me trying to asses which bullet wound is more serious, I honestly think I'm going to die because really how much can my body go through. It's been to hell and back. Charles Hoyt, Dominic, Marino, getting shot, being stabbed. God that's all I am is a practice target for all the sick criminals out there.

"Jane why'd you do that, why do you always end up hurt protecting my life. I'm not that special." Maura says as I look at her.

"You're worth it because you're very special and the world would be worse off without you." I say as I cough up blood.

"You can't leave me Jane I need you too much." Maura says as she starts crying.

"Please don't cry, I hate it when you cry." I say reaching my hand up and wiping away her tears.

"I'm sorry, everything's going to be okay the ambulance is here." Maura says as two paramedics come up to me.

They get me up on a gurney and take me in the ambulance I can hear Maura telling hem she's coming with them. I'm starting to zone out because next thing I know Maura is holding my hand.

"Jane can you hear me?" I hear Maura ask.

"Yeah I can hear you." I reply.

"Where does it hurt most?" Maura asked.

"That's the problem Doc." I reply.

"What do you mean?" she asks.

"I can't feel anything and I just wanna go to sleep." I say as I close my eyes.

"You can't go to sleep you have to fight it and stay awake." Maura says.

"What's the point, I'm going to be miserable if I survive, I'm so in love with you and you don't feel the same. My heart stopped beating in my chest when you walked away." I say.

"Jane you have to fight, please for me." Maura says.

"Why should I fight for you, you rejected me." I say.

"You have to fight because I love you too." Maura says and that's the last thing I remember as everything goes black.

(And it's you, and it's you, and it's you, and it's you. And it's falling down as you walk away, and it's on me now as you go. But oh I'm staring at the mess I made, I'm staring at the mess I made. I'm staring at the mess I made as you turn you take your heart and walk away. And it's falling down as you walk away and it's on me now as you go. But oh I'm staring at the mess I made, I'm staring at the mess I made. I'm staring at the mess I made as you turn you take your heart and walk away.)

AN: let me know what you think. The song is the mess I made by parachute.