Visser Three's in the Toilet

Visser Three pops out of the toilet. Read what happens next.

Chapter 1

Jake Berenson, defacto leader of the Animorphs, desperately had to go to the bathroom in his house. In fact he was so desperate he was afraid he couldn't hold it in anymore. He got to the toilet bowl.

The most unexpected thing happened. Bubbles came to the surface, and suddenly the head and shoulders of the most evil andalite in the Universe popped out.

"Aaaah! Visser Three!" he yelled, jumping back. Suddenly he could hold it in.

((Hello, Jake the Andalite Bandit Animorph duuude,)) Visser Three said.

"What the bleep do you want?!"

((Can I have an egg? I'm baking a cake for a dear friend.))

Jake blinked once. Then he blinked again. Then he stared.

Visser Three. Wanted. An. Egg?

"Wait one minute," he said, going to the kitchen. He came back with an egg. Visser Three poked a hand out of the toilet to take it.

((Thank you, puny human!)) Visser Three sank back into the toilet.

Jake stared back at the porclain peehole in shock. He relieved himself in his parent's bathroom.

Chapter 2

It was the next day. Jake had to go to the bathroom again. He stopped at the bowl, but was greeted by Visser Three again!

"Visser Three! Would you at least let me go before you surprise me like this?!" he exclaimed.

((I learned a new joke,)) said Visser Three. ((Why did the turkey not cross the road?))

"I don't wanna know."

((Because the turkey was chicken! Hahaha, I'm a riot. Toodles.)) Visser Three sank back into the water again.

Chapter 3

Jake had a job in the local toy store, Toys-a-Million, where he was a floor employee. He managed to find some Animorphs Transformers toys. He took one of himself to look at. He opened the package (illegal illegal!!) and played with it.

Then he had to go to the bathroom.

He entered the employee restroom and went to a stall, still holding the toy, when he surprised by You-Know-Who.

Visser Three popped out again!!

((Hello, Andalite bandit,)) Visser Three greeted. ((I see you have an Animorphs action figure. I brought my own!)) He took out an alien Transformer toy, which was dripping with toilet water. Of course the toilet water was clean! ((See? Now we can do battle!))

"Visser Three, how do you find the Animorphs every time in the books? I mean, we could be doing something totally out of range, and suddenly you find us like Nicodemus finds the Dreamland Chronicles gang!"

((Well, it's the childrens' genre, so the bad dudes like me are supposed to find the good guys every time.))

"But how do you do it?"

((Toilets.))

"Toilets?"

((All bad dudes have access to the secret toilet networks. Through these networks we are able to travel anywhere in the world via advanced teleportation technology and super-advanced sensors that detect whenever a good guy needs to go.))

"Wow. Uh, is that water clean?"

((Of course it's clean! It's Advanced Toilet Technology®. Patented.))

"Is that toy clean?"

Visser Three looked at the toy again. ((Jinkies! I forgot to clean it the last time I traveled through the Advanced Toilet Technology®.))

"Ewwww."