Got me looking so crazy right now, your love's
Got me looking so crazy right now (in love)
Got me looking so crazy right now, your touch
Got me looking so crazy right now (your touch)
Got me hoping you'll page me right now, your kiss
Got me hoping you'll save me right now
Looking so crazy in love's,
Got me looking, got me looking so crazy in love.
Beyonce - Crazy in Love
Sam POV:
Freddie Benson. Why they hell is he looking at me like that? Is it that much of a shock that I'm here? It's not like I said we would never see each other again. I knew this day was coming. I've known since my old school burnt down. I'm only here to graduate and tie up some loose ends. After that, I am gone. I have no reason to stay. Why would he choose to sit in front of me?
My next class will obviously be my favorite. I have Musical theater with Ms. Darbus with Tasha and Wendy. They aren't necessarily musically gifted but they have a knack for drama. All three of us walk to class together in the auditorium. I see a familiar brunette that I used to call my best friend. I don't hang out with bitches anymore. When she saw me, her eyes nearly popped out of her head. It was like she had seen a ghost. Well guess what? I'm back from the dead. After I take my seat with my friends, The tech nerd walks in. What is he doing here? It's not like he is a performer. They must need some tech guy to do stage work. Benson is staring again. Have his biceps gotten bigger?
"Hello class," Ms. Darbus interrupts my thoughts. "Welcome to musical theater." Some of my classmates groan. They clearly are not as enthusiastic as I am. "We will work together for the production of the winter school musical. We have four months to prepare. Students that are not in the club are able to participate and audition. We will also go over other past musicals for the curriculum."
"What musical will we be performing?" Carly asks eagerly. Oh right she was used to being the star.
"Miss..." Ms. Darbus drifts off.
"Shay, Carly Shay" she answers with too much perkiness. I'd hit her if I hadn't gone through anger management.
"Well Miss Shay, we will be performing the hit musical Chicago. I already have an idea who will star," she winks at me. Some students notice and look in my directions. I do my best to avoid eye contact. "Samantha Puckett come to the stage." I inwardly wince at my full name. I follow her directions and respond.
"Please call me Sam, Ms. Darbus," I said as I approached the piano and adjust the microphone.
"Very well. Tell the class about yourself. I heard you used to live here.
"I transferred from Ridgeway to a boarding school two years ago. I'm a performer. I like to make people laugh or cry or smile. Ultimately, I like stimulating emotion from an audience. Whether it's performing musically or acting, I enjoy being in front of people. I'm usually not so fond of attention."
"When did you first start performing?"she asks.
"I did pageants back when I was eight years old. I'm a natural dancer. Tap is my speciality. I did some acting on my old web show. I didn't start performing musically until 2 years ago for my audition piece for the boarding school," I answer seeing the shock on people's faces. I feel it has more to do with my polite and somewhat obedient nature. I wasn't that obnoxious and rude. Was I?
"If you are wondering why Sam is sharing this information, I am happy to tell you. At Rose School for Girls in London. Sam studied performing arts and was the lead in six of the school's musical productions. This program is one of the best in the world. What are your plans for the future, Sam?"
"I'll study Drama at a top university and minor in music or something like that. Washington State University has a great Musical theater program. I'd go there as a back up."
"WSU's Musical theater program is one of the best in the country. You're calling it a back up," Carly rudely scoffs. That girl has an attitude problem.
"I'm one of the best of the best. Screw the best in the country. How about the best theater programs in the world? There are a couple schools in London I would love to attend. I've been contemplating Julliard. All because certain people are willing to settle doesn't mean I have to. Carly dear, you must only wish you'd get in. I know I will." The class gasps at my blunt behavior. This is the Sam they recognize. This time around I fighting with words and not my fists.
"I contacted Sam yesterday to prepare a performance for you all. I asked her to pick something of meaning and explain the song choice to you all before she sings."
I nod and speak, "a long time ago I fell for someone I shouldn't have. The feelings I felt should have been forbidden. He was completely off limits but I fell for him anyway. After a while, I felt he was messing with my head. He brought me out of a dark place, but he confused me so often. He claimed to have wanted me as much as I wanted him, but was with someone else. I guess this song is about being able to stand on your own and not putting up with a guy's manipulation." I look Fredward Benson in the eye, "this is Turning Tables by Adele." I began to play piano and sing.
"Close enough to start a war
All that I have is on the floor
God only knows what we're fighting for
All that I say, you always say more
I can't keep up with your turning tables
Under your thumb I can't breathe"
I live for this moment. My eyes are closed as I bear my soul. The room is ghostly quiet as I hit every note with perfection. This song reminds me of him so much. We are always at each other's throats. Every argument and fight was a battle in our never ending war. Then things changed. We were also closer than people assumed but we got too close.
"So, I won't let you close enough to hurt me
No, I won't rescue you to just desert me
I can't give you the heart you think you gave me
It's time to say goodbye to turning tables
To turning tables"
Carly was what kept us together in the eyes of other people. We could never get along without her according to them. They clearly knew nothing. There was a Sam and Freddie long before there was a Carly, Sam, and Freddie. He might not know it but he hurt me. He was my first kiss and it meant nothing to him. We went back to normal. I truly didn't I hid what I felt for him. It was just a crush. My heart was being torn each time he'd continue to chase after Carly.
"Under haunted skies I see you
Where love is lost your ghost is found
I braved a hundred storms to leave you
As hard as you try, no, I will never be knocked down, whoa"
I lied to myself and claimed the sudden attraction was only because those feelings were always there. They were just hidden below the surface. People never understood our relationship. I was torn when Carly agreed to go out with Freddie. He even tried to kiss me, when they were dating. He told me he liked me when he was with her. At that party last summer, people judged me and refused to listen to my side of the story. I was just the whore who couldn't keep her hands off her best friend's man. I refused to let them bother me so I left. It wan't like I had any reason to stay.
"I can't keep up with your turning tables
Under your thumb I can't breathe
So, I won't let you close enough to hurt me,
No, I won't rescue you to just desert me
I can't give you the heart you think you gave me
It's time to say goodbye to turning tables
Turning tables"
One moment we were trying to kill one another. The next we're comforting each other in times of need. We used to hang out and have fun. What others saw was just as how. He screwed everything up. We shouldn't have been spending so much time together. He should have shut me out. He had a girlfriend. He didn't need me. On his father's birthday, he let me in. It should have been Carly! He was grinding on me , while dating her. I deserve better than that manipulation. He just wanted the best of both worlds.
"Next time I'll be braver
I'll be my own savior
When the thunder calls for me
Next time I'll be braver
I'll be my own savior
Standing on my own two feet"
My love life is practically non-existent now. I like it that way. Who needs love? High schoolers aren't mature enough to handle it. I have dreams to chase and adventures to face. Love can't getting the way. The next time I'm willing to open my heart I won't rely on the person the way I did the dork. He pulled me out from my depressing home situation. My mother is still as toxic as ever. I can handle it on my own. I don;t need anyone to make me happy.
"I won't let you close enough to hurt me,
No, I won't rescue you to just desert me
I can't give you the heart you think you gave me
It's time to say goodbye to turning tables
To turning tables
Turning tables, yeah
Turning, oh"
I finish the song and look at my classmates. Jaws are almost literally on the floor. That was nothing. I hear the applause of Ms. Darbus. I'm guessing she approves. I walk back to my seat and I'm met with the stares of Tasha and Wendy. Ms. Darbus compliments me on my portrayal of real emotion and speaks more about the class in the upcoming months. "What?" I ask my friends.
"You didn't tell us you could sing like that," Tasha hisses at me.
"You knew I studied it at school. I've told you about my awards."
"We didn't think it was anything major. We knew about acting. Lying is almost your second nature. But music... We thought it would be average at best," Wendy tells me.
"No one has a chance against you for a lead role."
"Don't worry there are two leading ladies," I comment before ignoring the speech Ms. Darbus was making. My eyes reconnect to the brown orbs of a certain tech geek. He was almost pleading with me to know the meaning of the song. Was it about him? Did I find someone else? There was never anyone else. Dates were always meaningless. Moments like this convince me I am destined to be alone. I haven't truly moved on to another guy. This nub is still in my heart. I'm guessing by the way my heart skips a beat when I look at him, he always will be. I don't want to complicate things. I just pray this feeling goes away.
AN: Actual Seddie interaction in the next chapter. After a long wait, it is finally here. I've been waiting for this moment. Why does Ms. Darbus sound so familiar. Ideas? Praise? Criticism (Constructive)? Review for more!
