Edit: to those who find this story disgusting for featuring NooDoc, here's your warning now, just hit the back button. Go read a different story. I do it every time I stumble across a 2DxMurdoc fic. Why? Because I don't ship 2DxMurdoc. But I respect people who do, because it's their choice to. So yeah. If you don't like, don't read. It's very simple!

For those who do ship NooDoc and want to read this story, rock on :)

Please don't hate me for the fact that my first Gorillaz fanfiction in FOREVER is from a night of drinking.

I don't even really remember writing this, but it was a pleasant surprise to wake up to. Kind of.

I have adjusted it for readability (of course) but the story and length is unchanged. I will probably go in later on and make it longer or have it make more sense. Regardless, I think it's funny that after getting drunk for the first time in a long time my first thought was to write a Gorillaz Short.

Enjoy the madness.


Funnel Cake and Cigarettes.

What a miserable bitch she was.

Yes, to deny him, the grand Murdoc Niccals, a booty grab, just because she subscribed to the ideology that all men are rapists. It was just a booty grab, he figured. Just a nice booty grab.

Nevertheless, he didn't need her. He swiped her from his mind just like an ugly tindr match. Tindr, he thought. Maybe tindr would be the place to grab some late night ass.

He created a profile and graced himself upon the wonderful hookup app.

And got zero matches.

How could this be?

He huffed and got up from his swiveling chair. He walked over to his coat, grabbed it, and walked out the door.

He'd have to find some ass the old-fashioned way.

Just then, a door opened in the hallway.

There stood Noodle, adult figured, with a glean in her eye, wearing only a bathingsuit.

Why was she wearing a bathingsuit at 2 in the morning?

She grabbed a bottle out of his hand, he looked at her confused.

"Are you going to leave the house drunk again?"

"Yes," he replied, grabbing the bottle back, "and why are you in a swim suit?"

"I was practicing mayonnaise exploration," she smiled, "what is your excuse?"

"I'm not wearing a-" he looked down, and realized he had not grabbed a jacket, he grabbed a pair of swim trunks and was currently wearing them as a jacket, "what the hell?"

Noodle rolled her eyes before grabbing the bottle again, "you need to go to sleep. You're getting older, you can't have sex every night anymore."

Murdoc's eyes widened in protest, "all have you know I am not getting older and my libido is just fine!"

"Your libido may be fine, but the rest of your body isn't," she grabbed his hand and pulled him into her room, "come on, you need to get to bed."

"But this is not my bedroom."

"I know, I don't trust you to sleep alone."

She closed the door behind him and pulled him towards her bed, "I'll help you get to sleep."

"I can't sleep with you!" he shouted.

Noodle put a finger to his lips, "keep your voice down, dummy."

She pushed him down and he immediately felt at ease, nearly on the border of dreamland.

He heard her begin to hum, and he soon fell asleep.

This was perhaps a little better than grabbing some ass.


I think Funnel Cake and Cigarettes was supposed to be the name of this short. Either way, I left it in. I like the name, despite this short having nothing to do with funnel cake or cigarettes.