Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Panty and Stocking. If I did, I'd be pretty g.

Reviews are nice. So be nice and review (lol or just read the story…)


There was a definite reason why Naruto and Sasuke hated their sensei.

1. He read porn books. That's about as twisted and messed up as it gets. Seriously, how can one concentrate on their jutsus while their goddamn teacher is freaking giggling at a perverted part of a book?

2. He wears a mask and tries to act all badass.

3. He has more fangirls than Sasuke (well Naruto hates him for this reason...can't really say the same for Sasuke...).

4. He just sent them into a whole different universe.


"SON OF A BITCH!"

"GAH!"

Naruto and Sasuke swore as they were sent plummeting down through the sky. Naruto was of course screaming his head off and waving his arms wildly while Sasuke was cussing up a storm and looking down with a scowl fitted on his face. All he wanted today was to go home, enjoy a cup of soothing lemon tea with his bacon and tomato sandwich and take a well earned nap. He was not expecting to fall from the sky to his inevitable death, with Naruto as a cursed contributor to his already shitty day.

"Christ...baka! Listen up and stop screaming like a girl!" Sasuke shouted over the pounding wind. 'Seriously, the baka is giving me a freaking headache...' Naruto stopped screaming to glare at him.

"I'm not screaming like a girl, teme! And what the hell do you want? Can't I die in peace?"

Sasuke inwardly rolled his eyes. 'No one can die in peace with you freaking screaming like that. ' "I'm trying to save your life here! We don't have to die today! Maybe tomorrow. But not today!"

Naruto cocked his head to the side a bit, his body still spread out. "Why tomorrow?"

"Fuck! Never mind! Use your clones to safely reach the ground. I'll use my fire technique to fly to the ground." Without another word, Sasuke whispered his technique and fire shot out from his hands. Positioning his body in a crouch, he positioned his hands so that they were balled up and facing the sun and with a burst of speed, sped down to the ground. Naruto watched as he flew from his fire hands.

'He said use the clones. ' Naruto thought. "Kage Bunshin Jutsu!" 'How the hell is that gonna help me? ' Suddenly, the sky was filled with clones of Naruto, all facing the ground, their backs facing the real one. Naruto was surprised when he landed safely on one particular clone. Then it clicked. He smirked. "Not bad Uchiha," he muttered. He jumped off of that clone, making it disappear with a poof.

Jumping from clone to clone, Naruto could see the ground coming up and with one last jump, made it safely and swiftly to the ground. Sasuke stood next to him, leaning on a pole.

"Haha! Not bad, teme! Thanks for the advice!" Sasuke merely glared at him and looked the other way.

"...Hn." Naruto rolled his eyes and looked around curiously.

"Now that we're not dead...where the hell are we?"


Panty was dreaming happily of certain male body parts entering her delicate female part. Drool travelled from her mouth to her pillow and her legs squeezed tight together to hide her morning arousal. She was half laying on her bed, half laying on the floor with her blanket sprawled somewhere near the corner of her room, most likely kicked off after an extremely erotic dream. Bottles of hot sauce littered her floor and clothes were tossed carelessly and shamelessly on the bare ground, even hanging on the door handle. Not one piece of clothing was seen in her closet. Every now and then, she'd kick and toss to the other side, moaning some unknown man's name out loud. Just as her dream was about to reach its climax...

"Panty!" Stocking burst through the door, nearly tearing the door off its hinges and without further ado, poured water onto her sister's face. "Oi! Lazy ass whore! It's time to get up." She looked around at the pig stine that was her sister's bedroom. 'It looks like death in here...'

Panty gagged on the unexpected wakeup call and glared through wet hair at her gothic sister. Her eyes narrowed into slits and her hands were clenched, wanting vengeance. Stocking merely shrugged and walked out the room.

"YOU DAMN FAT ASS! DON'T FUCKING LEAVE WITHOUT APOLOGIZING!" Angered, Panty leapt off her bed and through a mad sprint chased her sister down the stairs. Letting out a feral snarl, she lunged and tackled her sister into a headlock.

"Eh? I've got you now, you fucking bitch! What the fuck are you gonna do now?" Panty glared down, smirking. Stocking sighed from beneath the headlock and looked up at her sister with expressionless eyes.

"...Nothing. I don't know about you, but I'm just gonna wait until Garter pulls you away and slams you down onto a table." Panty lessened her hold, giving Stocking a puzzled look. She didn't notice the evil presence with an afro behind her.

"...What?" She said confusedly. At that moment Garter grasped her arm and yanked her away. Lifting her up, he brought her over his shoulder and with a roar brought her down onto a table.

"FUCK!" Panty gasped. She winced, her body lying on now the cracked remains of the table. She lifted her head to glare at both Garter and Stocking.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" Stocking shrugged and began to munch on a chocolate bar. Garter glared back at her.

"Shut up you worthless bitch! We have shit that needs to be done! A ghost was spotted not to far from downtown! You need to exterminate that ghost immediately! It is our duty as the protectors of this city..." And so he ranted.

Panty sighed and walked over to sit on a big frilly pink couch. Kicking her feet up, she inspected her nails and wondered in her head who she was going to fuck today.

'Hmmm...the post office guy seemed pretty cute. OH! And that hunky police officer. Not really a looker, but I'm sure he'll have a huge package! 'She grinned manically. Stocking took note of her sister's face, and scoffed. 'Probably thinking who she'll bang next. '

"...Am I clear?" Garterbelt finally finished. Both girls sighed and nodded their heads.

"...Sure."


Naruto and Sasuke browsed along the street, looking at the different shops in wonder. It felt so surreal. The buildings were oddly shaped (some looking suspiciously like perverted parts). The people were so retarded and sex craving. Both ninjas sweat dropped at their stupidity. 'How the hell are they supposed to help us in our quest to get back to Konoha?' They both thought. Sasuke glared as a pack of girls eyed him shamelessly, their eyes X- raying him through his clothes. Naruto laughed at his discomfort, but couldn't help but feel a few eyes on him as well.

"Teme, do you think we'll get raped?" Naruto asked nervously.

"Probably." Sasuke answered.

They continued on until one girl was brave enough to give Sasuke a pinch on his rump. That was the last straw.

"For the LOVE of Kami!" He screamed angrily. Gritting his teeth, he dragged Naruto by the ear into a random clothing store. Naruto squeaked in surprise and ripped the bastard's hand away from his now throbbing ear.

"What the hell was that for?" Naruto demanded angrily. Sasuke gave him a heated glare.

"What do you think, dobe? We're going to change our appearance. I can't take it anymore. If one more girl undresses me with her eyes, I'm going to reincarnate my family and murder them like Itachi did!" Sasuke's eyes swam dangerously in frustration, turning from obsidian to glassy red. Naruto gulped.

"Alright, alright. I'll perform a henge." He positioned his hands. Sasuke stopped him, waving his hands in dismissal.

"That's unnecessary. You'll just use up your chakra. Here." Walking to the corner of the store, he returned with a bottle of gel. "Use this to contain your hair." Naruto snorted.

"Contain MY hair? Your hair looks like it's about to take flight." Sasuke growled and and threw the gel at his head. Direct hit.

"OW TEME! WHAT THE HELL?"

"Shut up! You're attracting attention. Put that damn gloop on and get some clothes from here. We're too noticeable in our ninja attire. We need to stay hidden in the shadows for now."

Naruto grumbled but browsed the store anyway. He looked through the many clothes disinterestedly until one particular hoodie caught his eye. It was orange with a golden fox running along the back of it. Naruto grinned and immediately bundled it up in his hands. Finally, he decided on some black cargo pants and orange sneakers. Going in the dressing room, he changed and put the gel in his hair. He frowned as he rubbed in the cold substance, his spiky blonde hair now groomed and greased on his head. His bangs were smoothed out and fell over his face, hiding his large blue eyes. Looking at his reflection, he sweat dropped seeing as he still would draw attention. He now looked like a super cool emo with blonde hair. He decided to hide his face a little by putting on the hood.

Shrugging his shoulders, he walked out of the dressing room and nearly fell backwards as a pair of huge square black glasses was chucked as his forehead. He picked it up and glared at said person who threw them.

"Sasuke, you are a cruel heartless bastard."

"Duly noted. Now put the damn glasses on." Sasuke looked at him with a bored expression. He wore a black cap with the symbol of a crow on it with a black and white stripped polo shirt and blue sneakers. His hair was not greased, but it was concealed within the also wore black glasses, but instead they were small and oval shaped. Overall, he was still pretty good looking while Naruto himself looked like a lost owl. 'Lucky bastard.' Naruto thought grudgingly.

Naruto huffed but complied. Looking between Sasuke and himself, he laughed.

"Heh, now we're two nerds walking around the city and creeping out all the girls."

Sasuke smirked. "Hn. Let's explore and see if there's anyone able to help us in our dilemma." They paid for their clothes and walked out, ready to find answers and explore the strange world.


Stocking glared hard through See Through's glass window. Every now and then her ears would twitch at the sound of moaning in the back and her nose would wrinkle in disgust at the smell of sex. Still, she drove on and pretended like nothing was going on. But soon, the back of the car was reaching its climax. Making the small purrs and moans in the open car turn into full out screaming.

'Just count your blessing, Stocking.' She tried to calm herself. A soft sigh escaped her parted lips. 'One...two...three...four...'

"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Stocking snapped. Eyes closed, she snapped her head around to tell off her sister.

"Panty! You goddamned whore! We're on a mission so stop fucking around! At least while I'm not in the goddamn fucking CAR!" Stocking yelled, pissed as hell. All she received was a load moan and skin still slapping against skin. Stocking blinked.

"..."

"OHHHHHHHHHHH YES!"

"..."

"FUUUUUUUCK YEA!"

"..."

"FUUUCK! ALMOST THEEERE!"

ERRRRRGGGH! The car turned sharply to the side throwing the man on top of Panty out the window nd into the streets. Panty stared at where her man used to be and then looked at her sister. Her eyes were still glassy and dull from the experience in the back of the car. Realization crept into her eyes when she noticed the steering wheel at an akward angle and her sister looking at her with unconcealed anger.

"YOU BITCH! I wasn't done yet!" Panty groaned. 'GREAT. FUCKING GREAT! NOW I CAN'T ADD HIM AS MY 991st MAN! FUCKING HELL!'

Stocking glared, her eyes shining with fury. "Baka! There are plenty of other men to fuck! But now is not the time! We need to focus on the ghost problem. Or did you forget, being the dumb blonde you are?" Panty huffed, crossing her arms.

"Ghost, schmost. I'm a busy girl, Stocking. Why can't you do it yourself for once?" Panty whined. Stocking snorted.

"I ALWAYS do the damn job on my own. You barely do anything."

Panty blinked. "Well then there you fucking go. I'm barely any help, so I might as well not help at all." She laid down and got herself comfortable for a nap. Before she could doze off, however, Chuck was miserably thrown at her face. She screamed.

"What the hell!"

"No sleeping on the job! I'm not collecting ghosts by myself anymore, Panty. Do your fucking job for once and we'll get it over with and you can fuck every guy in the universe for all I care." Stocking turned back to the steering wheel to park See Through.

Panty sighed dreamily at the chance of having sex with every man known to God. Stocking sighed and shook her head.

"There is something very wrong with you."

They stopped in front of a small cafe. The front window displayed an arrangement of many cakes and pies, beautifully decored and tempting to the naked eye. Stocking drooled at the sight. Slowly getting out of the car, she walked in a deathlike trance to the entrance, hands outstreched to engulf the many sweets in her wake. Panty glared at her sister's back and thought to herself that payback was a bitch. 'And I'm going to be its pimp.' She thought wickedly. Cackling evilly, she grabbed the back of Stocking's dress and pulled her away.

"Oi! Get back here you fucking fat ass. No fucking around with your goddamn sweets while I'M around." Panty grinned. "You get ONE thing and then we get back to fucking business. Kapeesh?" Stocking pouted but nodded her head anyway. She walked slowly to the cafe with her evil sister skipping behind her and making plans to have sex with mail mans, popular people, and make fun of nerds. Both sisters did not notice the peculiar wedding cake that narrowed its black eyes at them, mouth turned downwards into a predatory scowl.


"...Why did you drag me here dobe?" Sasuke gave an irritated groan as the waitress brought him some hot cocoa and vanilla ice cream. They were supposed to be exploring the towns, finding out details of their whereabouts. 'So how the hell did we manage to get here?' Sasuke drank his hot cocoa, grimacing at the unnecessary sweet taste and its fierce hotness. He looked up to watch his teammate devour chocolate, pudding, and cake all in one sitting. His grimace turned even more sour, eying his teammate in disgust. Naruto looked up to glare at his duck butt friend.

"What the hell do you think? I'm hungry as a bastard." He continued his chowing down. Sasuke glared angrily at his sweet treat and pushed his plate away.

"Idiot. I hate sweets." Naruto looked back up at him and shrugged.

"Well that's too damn bad."

Sasuke let out another groan and finally got up from his seat. "I'm leaving," he said. "I'm going to find a pasta place or something." He headed for the door. Naruto waved at him.

"Tell me if you a find a place that sells miso ramen!" Sasuke growled. That would be the LAST thing he would try to do. 'I hope that dobe didn't forget what we need to do.' Turning back around, he walked into a gothic girl. On contact, both jumped away quickly from one another. They glared at each other with clear dislike.

'The hell?' Sasuke thought. The girl he ran into had long blue and purple hair and wore a black dress. She glared at him with icy blue eyes that seemed to pierce into his soul. He had refused to look away and kept her gaze.

"Watch where you're going, bastard." She shoved him to the side. Sasuke stared at her, shocked.

'Who the hell does she think she is?' He thought angrily. He gave her a mock bow and muttered, "Excuse me your royal bitchiness. A feeble peasant such as myself should not stand in your way." He smirked.

Stocking shrugged. "Glad we agree on something." Sasuke's eye twitched.

'Damn woman.'

"Oh? So you agree that you're an emo bitch?" Sasuke glared harder at her, daring her to answer. Guess she didn't take the hint.

"Takes one to know one." She shrugged. "For one who judges about another being a bitch, you're attitude is pretty damn crappy. So keep stupid comments like that to yourself, your royal bitchiness. See ya, princess." She continued her way to the counter. Sasuke could only stand there, his mouth hanging wide open. His open amazement went interrupted as a rude blonde practically shoved him to the ground, glaring at the back of his head like she'd want nothing better than to tear it off.

"Oi! Emo boy! Get the hell out of my way before I shoot your balls off." Panty gave him a disinterested look. 'Aw, that would be a shame though. A man without his balls.' She mused. 'Plus, he's kind of a cutie, but no one should back sass my sister like that...unless it's me.' Sasuke straightened up and without paying attention to the other woman, he stomped out and slammed the door behind him. He could hear Naruto snickering as he exited.

'I hate my life.'


Naruto burst out laughing when Sasuke left.

'Serves the bastard right.' He was about to continue on his eating rampage when something...or really someone caught his eye. His blue eyes widened beneath his now shaggy bangs and the spoon he had been holding fell to the ground. 'An angel...' He thought dreamily in his mind. 'Surely she had to be an angel.' A girl around his age leaned next to the door, looking up at the ceiling. She had golden blonde hair and wore a revealing red dress. Her ocean colored eyes gazed in interest at the ceiling, marking the different patterns and shapes. Naruto could feel his heart racing. He put a hand on his chest to try and stop the beating.

"She's so beautiful..." He breathed out.

"And she's also a slut so you should just give up." Someone said from behind him. Naruto yelped and jumped out of his seat. He pointed at the blue haired goth who decided to sit next to him. She gazed at him boredly, already having heard those comments about her sister before. Guys were always saying things like that to her, only to end up in bed with Panty and leave the next morning. 'Not that Panty minds.' Stocking whisked away. 'But sometimes, I admit I get a little jealous. She gets all the attention, while I'm left with very few fans. I guess no one's interested in someone who wants a steady and non slutty relationship.'

"GAH! W-who the hell are you?" Naruto shouted. Here he is, daydreaming to himself and the weird girl who outspoke Sasuke just randomly comes to sit next to him. The goth gave him an irritated glare and bit into her large strawberry cupcake.

"Me. Oh nobody important. I just so happen to be that girl's sister." She waved her hand in dismissal. Inwardly, she smirked, awaiting the reaction from the blonde. He did not dissapoint. Naruto's eyes bulged out and his jaw slacked, as if not believing if those two were really related.. He grinned.

"REALLY? Cool! You guys must be pretty close then! What's her name? What are her likes and dislikes? Does she go to school? Does she have a boyfriend? Do you think she could like a guy like me? " His grin got wider as he talked about Panty with excitement. Stocking sighed, her jealousy taking its toll.

"...Nice to meet you too."

Naruto flushed with embarrassment. 'Whoops! I don't want to seem like some ass whole who only cares about pretty girls. Although this girl is kinda cute.' and He smiled at her sheepishly. "I'm sorry. I'm Naruto Uzumaki." He held out his hand. She looked at his hand and then back up at his smiling face, but did not take it. Instead, she studied his cheek marks. 'Why does he have whisker marks on his cheek? Is he training to become an animal or something?'

"I'm Stocking." Naruto cocked his head and gave her a confused look.

"Stalking who?" BAM! Stocking hit him on the head. "Baka! I meant my name is Stocking!" She huffed. Naruto rubbed his head and gave her a weak smile.

"Sorry..."

Stocking took another bite from her strawberry cupcake. "Whatever. And to answer your questions..." Naruto leaned in closely, feet fidgeting for an answer. "...My answer is to go ask her." Naruto's head bunked on the table. Hard. He winced at the oncoming headache.

"WHAT? I CAN'T DO THAT!"He rubbed his head. "Besides, there's no way I'd get to the guts to talk to someone so gorgeous..." He sighed. "Back where I came from, I was constantly rejected by this really pretty girl and over time it hurt so much, I just stopped trying overall." He lowered his head.

Stocking cocked an eyebrow. 'That sucks. The guy's kind of annoying, but the girl should have given him a chance. And what place is he talking about? He doesn't come from here?' "Yeah well, love's tough." She inwardly face palmed herself. She was supposed to cheer the guy up, not bring him down. To her surprise, Naruto gave her an appreciative laugh.

"Yup. That's love for ya." He grinned happily. Stocking couldn't help but smile with him. 'His smile's pretty contagious. This guy isn't half bad at all.'

"Neh? The what, where, why, and what position?" Naruto cried out in surprise at the beautiful voice that belonged to Panty and Stocking sighed in irritation. Panty stood over them, cocking an eyebrow with hands on her hips. Her presence practically radiated purity, but in secret, her presence screamed "Naughty. Beware." Naruto's face heated up while staring at her, struggling to find words.

"Um...er...well...you see..." He stuttered. Panty gave him a harsh glare and flipped her hair at him. 'Why the hell is Stocking hanging out with a complete doofus? I mean look his appearance. Boring. Definitely not worth a fuck.' "I'm not talking to you, dork. I don't even know who the fuck you are. Stocks, did you get the info?" She leaned on one of the chairs, her cleavage in clear view of Naruto's eyes. He blushed and looked away shyly.

'It's just as well. She treats me the same as Sakura.' Naruto sighed inwardly. Stocking caught his slightly hurt expression and wondered what caused it. Surely her words would not have affected him. It was simply Panty being Panty, no harm done. She shrugged.

"Don't ever call me that...and yes, I have the info. A ghost was spotted near this cafe. Someone said it took the form of a pastry, but they're not sure. So we'll stick around until something glorious happens." Panty groaned at the news. Naruto looked between them, not knowing what was going on. 'Ghost that turns into a pastry? What?'

"DAMMIT! What about all the guys you promised I could fuck?" Panty cried out in frustration.

Stocking shrugged. "Guess you'll have to wait." Naruto, who had been listening, gave a small sigh of dejection. 'So her sister wasn't kidding...she really is a...'

'No.' His eyes raised in determination. 'I refuse to call her that word. I can't judge her actions. Her business is her business. But maybe...' His eyes brightened hopefully as he gazed up at her.

'She could possibly be interested someone like me? Even if we only end up being friends...' He grinned. ' As long as I get to be by her side.'

With his decision made, he stood up to greet her. Shooting her his foxy grin, he held out his hand. "Hey. I don't think we've introduced properly. I'm Naruto Uzumaki, future Hokage." He winked at her, even though she couldn't see his eyes. "What's your name?" 'Hell yeah, Mister Suave.'

Panty scoffed at his outstretched hand and swatted it away. She leaned forward to his face, making him gasp and lean backwards a little. Smiling sweetly, she breathed in his ear, "Fuck off. I don't bang dorks." Naruto's smile fell. He gazed at her confusedly.

"...Um...bang?"

"Yeah. You know, fuck, ride, screw, pound, hook up, slam. I don't do any of that with dorks." She leaned back and grinned wickedly at his crimson blush and flicked his glasses. He pouted and fixed his glasses. Stocking finished the last of her strawberry cupcake and snorted at the two of them. 'Subtle flirting. How lame.'

Panty leaned on a chair, taking out some spicy chips and munching on them. "Is that what you wanted, dork boy?" Naruto became flustered and waved his arms around.

"U-um n-n-no! I didn't m-mean that. I was just...um..." He looked to Stocking begging for help. Stocking smirked at his expression and decided to cave in.

"Just give him your fucking name."

Panty crossed her arms. "It's Panty." Naruto relaxed a bit, relieved that her teasing was over and he finally got her name. An odd name, he admits, but a name that seemed to roll off his tongue perfectly. He gave her a warm smile.

"Panty..."


So bored. =-= So yup I'm back everyone. My other stories I am currently experiencing writer's block so I'm going with this. My first M rated fic XD.

Yeah I just got into this show. Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt. I found the show to be highly amusing and since it didn't have a lot of fanfics, I decided to write this.

Though for some reason I just had to add in Naruto characters...oh well :/

Enjoy it. And yeah lol I better work on those other fics. ^^'''''