It was early in the morning and Ren was walking to school. It's not like she wanted to go or anything, but Ki had told her yesterday that if she didn't show up, Ki would force her to read KuramaXHiei lemons all night. Ren shuddered at the thought.
"Why do you want me to go to school today?" she asked, her crimson eyes brimming with rage. Ki smiled evily.
"We have a couple of new teachers today because somebody thought it was cute to poison the teacher's apple."
"They had it comming to them." Ren smirked at the memory. One apple had killed two teachers.
"I can still make you read those lemons." Ki growled, an insane look in her leaf-colored eyes.
Ren quickly shut up.
Ren figeted around in her desk, which was on the front row thanks to Ki...and the stupid seating chart. Conviently, the two girls were sitting right next to each other.
"I HATE ENGLISH!" she shouted, earning odd looks from her fellow classmates and a murderous glare from her best friend. In this lighting Ki's blonde hair looked like it was washed in blood, but it always looked that way. That hair always creeps me out. How does she do that? She must be some freak of nature. I've heard of people with two toned hair, but her hair is two colors at once! It's physically impossible. Ren sent silent thanks to Heaven that her hair was solid black.
Suddenly, the door opened and an eraser plopped on the head of the person who walked in. Another glare from Ki. Ren just laughed.
"Good morning class." Said the teacher, trying to rub the giant white spot from his scarlet hair. "My name is Mr. Kurama Minamino and I will be your new English teacher today...forever." Ren stared. The way he said that in such an optimistic, yet creepy way was really getting to her. Most teachers would lose it if they were hit in the head with an eraser, which was one of the main reasons Ren did it. This teacher...he was...so HAPPY?!
The chalk squeaked against the board. Why the teacher was writing in Japanese, Ren would never know. It was a good thing Ki raised her hand and alerted the teacher.
"Yes, Miss..." he paused and looked at the attendance sheet. "...Kayama?"
"Sir, this is America. The mother language of which is English." she explained.
Kurama looked at the board.
"Sorry. Any way, I'll tell you what it says. It says, 'List three types of punctuation marks.' Let's see, who wants to answer this?" he stopped for a minute. No one raised their hands. he looked at the attendance sheet again. "Miss Underwood!" he announced, after randomly picking out a name.
Ren's head shot up. She had been dozing through the class, but at the sound of her name she instantly snapped out of her trance.
"Yes, Mr. Macaroni?" Kurama stared. Maybe randomly picking out someone wasn't a good idea.
"Please list three types of punctuation marks." Ren was silent, as if deep in thought.
"Periotic Table, Camel, Quest for marbles." she stated confidently. Kurama just stared again. Ki slapped herself in the forehead and muttered something under her breath.
"I'm sorry. That is incorrect." he sighed. Ren growled and fished around in her pocket. Kurama was scared. Ren pulled out an unusually bright red apple.
"Here, teacher." She tried to mask the dark tone from her voice, but failed horribly. Kurama took the apple and was about to take a bite when Ki exploded in a burst of random emotion.
"Don't eat that apple!!!" she exclaimed, jumping from her desk and barreling into Kurama with unessary force. He didn't stand a chance. The apple skidded across the room and out the door, screaming something about freedom. Ren scowled and muttered something about unfair advantages. Ki got to her feet.
"That's how she killed the last couple of teachers." she explained in a bright manner. Kurama was at a loss for words.
"Okay, moving on..." he said.
Outside, the apple was runnign along, happy as a clam. His plan to take over the world was in motion. Now to gather the rest of his poison bretheren. Next stop, Canada. The apple laughed evily as he went to the nearest grocery store.
Kurama was never so happy in his life as when he heard the bell ring. The rest of the class had been just like the first five minutes. Miss Underwood was trying to kill him and Miss Kayama kept barreling into him. He rubbed his side sorely. The most reasent tackle had involed a collision with his desk. Kurama sighed and plucked a poison dart from the chalk board.
Ren was so mad she made several people tremble with fear as she walked past. Only Ki and a few random emos seemed uneffected.
"Where now?" Ren asked rudely.
"History!" Ki smiled. Ren shuddered. They were having a new teacher in that class too and she was out of apples.
The apple held a gun to the clerk's head
"Give me all your apples!" he said. The clerk blushed, thinking he ment something else. Annoyed, the apple fired the gun and took the three bags of apples conviently siting next to him. "I am unstoppable!" he shouted, standing in a puddle of blood. "TO CANADA!!!"
(A/N: ) Ren: That was nuts! This is only the first chapter in our twisted fantasy about what would happen if Hiei and Kurama were teachers at our school.
Ki: Hiei's going to be a History teacher and the apple's sad angsty journey to Canada. Stick around!
