OK, so this really has no particular plot and the summary's full of spoilers but whatever, it amused me so I'm posting it. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Not mine, although I did retitle the game they're playing, so.

Vlad had been Grand High Vampire for 20 years now, and he'd managed to avoid seeing Erin and Jonno for 15 of those. It was too weird watching them age while he stayed young. He knew that it had made the Count and Bertrand uncomfortable, too, for completely different reasons. So when he walked into his Council Chamber to find only his father and someone he took at first glance to be Eric Van Helsing, he was somewhat surprised.

"Vladdy! You remember Jonno, don't you? He's here to help you play a little game." Jonno looked as awkward as Vlad felt as they exchanged curt nods.
"What's going on?" The Count clicked his fingers and some of Vlad's own guards marched three vampires into the chamber, all bound.

The first vampire, Vlad realised, was Marisa Westenra, a distant cousin of his who'd attempted to have him assassinated twice. How the Count had caught her, or why, he had no idea, but having her tied up in front of him brought up some interesting dilemmas to do with family and justice. He would have to bring her to trial, now, and possibly have her executed. He would try to find a way around it.

The second vampire, to his surprise, was Bertrand. His former tutor would normally have been standing at his side, advising him, but he seemed as bewildered by his situation as Vlad was. The Grand High Vampire's father didn't like his valet, he knew, but he wasn't sure what convoluted logic could have allowed him to bind the man and drag him in like a prisoner.

The third vampire was a half-fang Ingrid had picked up years ago and soon tired of. As far as he knew, the girl – Isobel, or something – had never done anything wrong, but extreme physical beauty could only get her so far, even in the vampire world. He was fairly sure his mother saw her as a threat, but then his mother saw everyone as a threat. That had never been enough to have someone tied up and brought to him before.

"The game is called 'Sun, Stake...'" he paused, looking a little nauseated, "'...or Shag.' I believe the breathers have something similar." Vlad knew it well; games of 'Kill, Shag, Marry' always got far more complicated when your girlfriend was involved, although if she knew you couldn't stand churches anyway it became a little less fraught with danger. "The way it works is this; you choose one of these vampires to sleep with – it doesn't have to be anything permanent, just a one-bite stand, as it were – and the other two are executed."

The Count seemed to be bracing himself for a long argument, but Vlad had just made eye contact with one of the vampires and knew that he had to save them, decisively, now. He stepped forward to speak to Isobel.
"I'm really sorry about this." His father raised an eyebrow; he hadn't expected Vlad to go for his treacherous cousin, but perhaps their tastes in women were more similar than he'd realised.

Vlad walked straight past his former tutor and stood before Marisa.
"You deserve death by dawn; Dad will see your sentence ratified by the Council, and it will happen tomorrow."

The Count watched in shock as his son turned to the vampire he'd loved for years and began untying his hands.
"Now will you finally accept that I want you?" Bertrand frowned at him.
"If you set this up-"
"No." Vlad smiled. "No, this is all thanks to Dad." He took Bertrand's hand and led him from the room.