Hello! It is here at last! The third part in the trilogy. You have no idea how long I've been waiting to post this, and it's here now, with a GIGANTIC plot. Honestly, I've written it all out and it's MASSIVE. I feel like bloody JK Rowling... but anyway.
This, by the way, came soooo close to... well, smut on their wedding night. If anyone would like to write a smutty version, please feel free!
On with the show!
It was 2 am on Barcelona, and near the coast, two figures could be seen embarking from a large winged donkey and watching it fly off again into the night. They entered a small hotel and ran up flights of stairs to the hotel bedrooms. The silhouettes charged down a long corridoor and stopped at the end of it. The smaller of them, decidedly female, fumbled for the keys. Behind her, her male companion took another hearty swig from a bottle and became so drunk that he promptly walked into the nearest wall, rebounded and fell flat on his face with a yell.
After several minutes of fumbling, it emerged that the keys were missing. The male figure swore, pulled out a small metallic object - that looked suspiciously like a screwdriver - and aimed it at the door. There was a flash of blue light and the door was blasted open... fortunately, the burgular alarm didn't go off. The small automatic light came on then, illuminating the two people in the doorway, who were revealed to be Theta and Rose. Both of them were in a considerable state of undress - Theta's hair was sticking up out of his head in all directions, and a pair of sunglasses rested atop his head. His tie was slackened and shirt hung loose and all the buttons had mysteriously come undone, and to cap it all, he was roaring "We Wish you a Merry Christmas" at the top of his lungs. If one thing was obvious, it was the fact that he'd drunk himself silly.
He was still wearing his greatcoat, and Katie their hybrid squirrel was perched on his shoulder, swaying dangerously from side to side and humming along tunelessly to Theta's bellowing. It soon became clear she was quite tipsy as well, when she pushed Theta's sunglasses off his head and attempted to put them on herself, with little success.
Rose, still wearing her wedding dress, was watching both of them and giggling madly, being as drunk as he was. Her hair had escaped from the pinned-up mass it had been before, and now tumbled in lazy curls down her back. Theta turned to look at her in the dim light from the bedroom and stared. She looked... divine. Beautiful. Absoloutely perfect. And she was his!
Without further ado, he picked her up and carried her in through the doorway, only stopping to throw his coat off on the way and completely ignoring Katie's protests at being thrown suddenely off his shoulder into freefall. He dumped Rose unceremoniously on the bed with a grin, slamming the door behind him. Their wedding night... was gonna be done his way!
He scrambled onto the bed as the automatic light switched off, and kissed her quickly in the darkness. Rose grabbed him but he twisted out of her reach with a mischevious grin on his face. As fast as lightening, he grabbed the nearest pillow and threw it at her. She looked at it in confusion.
"Go on..." He gestured at the pillow. "But I'll have you know I'm the best at this in the whole universe!"
She grinned in understanding. "You're on!"
Within minutes yells and thumping sounds emerged as it became clear they were in the middle of... a pillow fight.
Feathers flew in all directions and the battle went on for some time - but eventually Rose managed to reach for the bedside lamp and switch it on.
It revealed a room entirely covered in white goosefeathers, and Theta pinned down onto the double bed with Rose holding him down in a wrestling hold, a triumphant smile on her face.
Blond hair tumbled down to catch Theta on the face and he blew it away, being unable to move his hands. He wriggled and glared at Rose from where she held him helplessly captive.
She grinned. "Best in the universe, eh?"
"Alright, alright! Gerrof!" he yelled.
"Make me!"
Theta stared. Was that a serious suggestion?
Oh, this was gonna be so much fun!
Rose freed his arms in afterthought, and Theta leaned forward and switched off the light. And after that, it was never switched on again and the bedroom remained in darkness, although not altogether silent.
Let it suffice to say that they didn't fall asleep straight away...
Morning dawned, and as the first rays of sunshine burst through the window, Rose Tyler woke up in a large double bed and lay there dreamily for a moment, trying to remember where she was. Suddenly, understanding rushed in on EXACTLY what had happened to her in the last 24 hours and she shot bolt upright in bed with a yell.
"OH MY GOD! I GOT MARRIED!"
She heard a snigger from beside her and turned to face Theta, who had been watching her sleep and now looked highly amused.
"You did, yes..."
"I... got married! To you! Oh my God!"
Theta put his head in his hands. "Women... and I've only been married to you for one night… I have hysteria to look forward to for the rest of my life…"
He put both his hands on her shoulders as Rose began to hyperventilate, behaving uncharacteristically like Jackie under the circumstances.
"Deep breaths... in and out, that's right..."
And he lowered her gently until she was lying on the bed again. He flopped back down next to her and she looked at him suddenly with a gleam in her eye, remembering the events of the night before. Well, it wasn't everyday that you saw the Doctor after he'd had enough vodka to make any human pass out…
"Last night was fantastic! I didn't know you could bend your…"
"Rose Tyler – don't you even THINK about going there…"
He cringed at the memory. How exactly had he managed to drink himself silly, on their wedding night? And, truth be told, he didn't know he could bend that particular body part either...
How exactly had he lived 900 years without having sex? Of course, there was that time when he was held captive and almost mated with a chameleon, and there was that blonde junior nurse in the hospital back on Gallifrey - he would have gone all the way with her until he realised she had tentacles - but other than that... nothing.
"I mean, I didn't expect a whole lot of experience in the bed department, but none at all..."
Aware that Rose was smirking at him, he turned up his nose and glared at her... until he picked up on something hidden deep inside her mind and smiled in triumph.
"Hah! I knew it!"
"Argh! Stay out of my head, you!"
He grinned knowingly at her. "Looks like I'm not the only one who was a virgin..."
Rose fumed and he laughed at her.
"Yeah well, I'm nineteen, you're nine hundred!"
"Hey, you weren't complaining!"
It was true. Theta was... well, bloody fantastic in the bad department, and when Rose admitted this he beamed his dazzling smile, the one he saved just for her, and used it to great effect.
"Theta?"
"Mmm?" Playing idly with her hair.
"Now that we're married... you're not gonna… buy a house… are you?"
"HOUSE?" Theta squeaked in alarm and sat bolt upright, staring at her.
He was now rapidly turning pale with shock and Rose looked at him rather worriedly.
"House… MORTGAGE!" He began to sway from side to side in shock.
"Theta!"
She grabbed him and kissed him hard, feeling the colour return to his face as he began to kiss her back. As the kiss grew more passionate yellow mist began to collect around the two of them, sparks darted in between them, and without warning there was a minor explosion of yellow light. Theta and Rose were both thrown to opposite sides of the room and slumped painfully against the wall.
Theta scrambled up, crossed the room and helped Rose to her feet, who promptly pushed him back down on the bed again.
He stared at her. "Do you want to… live in a house?"
He propped himself up on his elbows and frowned, looking like the idea hadn't even occurred to him.
Rose looked at him. "No! And I was hoping you didn't either!"
He flopped back on the bed in relief.
"Thank Rasillion!" He gazed at her fondly.
"You have NO idea how lucky I am to have you... you understand me so well..."
"I do, don't I?" Rose raised two fingertips up to touch his face, smiling tenderly at him.
And he beamed back at her. And within seconds they were hurtling towards a moment again...
When an enormous explosion rocked the floor. Plaster rained down from the ceiling and screaming and shouting could be heard in the coridoor outside their bedroom. They could hear firearms and lasers down below... it sounded utterly terrifying. Something had invaded the hotel.
Theta took in the entire situation within seconds and looked at Rose very firmly. "Don't you DARE painc!"
He took her hand and pulled her up from the bed. Standing, he proceeded to dress as fast as possible, and indicated for her to do the same. He buttoned up his blazer, turned Rose around on impulse and brushed her hair for her, combing gently through the tangles and pinning up the blond waves with suprising skill. Rose eyed her reflection in the long mirror and smiled at him.
Theta shrugged on his greatcoat, grabbed her by the shoulders suddenely and stared at her for one long moment. Rose understood perfectly and stared back at him, each one memorising the other. After all, you never knew what could be creating chaos downstairs... there was every chance that something could go horribly wrong...
Then he released her unexpectedly, unlocked the door and charged down the corridoor, Rose flying after him.
The hotel lobby was in complete chaos - every single person appeared to have exited their rooms. There were huge crowds in the corridoor, people milling around everywhere, panicking. Explosions regularly shook the floor, laser beams shot out of the adjoining reception room, and burnt holes in the floor. Fireballs shot around everywhere, and the huge crowds stampeded this way and that, often crushing the smaller people, who couldn't stay upright and were trodden on by masses of running feet. Many people were brandishing chairlegs, stools, in some cases long sharp kitchen knives. A few burly men took out pistols and pointed them at anything that was moving, increasing the commotion.
Theta ran into the lobby with Rose and stared at everything in shock. He grabbed Rose's hand and showed her the double doors of the reception room.
"Whatever's causing this is behind those double doors. Rose, we're going in."
He took one look at the smile on her face and knew she was feeling exactly the same adrenalin rush he was. And he loved her so much for that.
She took one look at the way his eyes were shining and knew he was feeling exactly the same adrenalin rush she was. And she loved him so much for that.
And they looked at each other and ran through the double doors together and came out on the other side, in the reception room. Instantly they were both thrown into shock by what they saw.
Daleks. Four of them. Big and monstrous and as soon as she saw them Rose would have been scared stiff but Theta whispered,
"Show no fear."
And she grinned at this and wiggled her fingers in their hands and held on to him all the harder.
The hotel staff had guns out and were firing at the Daleks, to no avail. Blue lasers shot from two of the Daleks, killing everyone in their path. Meanwhile, the other two Daleks attempted to wreak as much havoc as possible. Having done as much damage as possible to the reception room, they were about to proceed to the lobby, where countless people would have died.
It was fortunate then, that that was when Theta and Rose entered the room.
The power they commanded was apparant from the moment they ran in, and all the Daleks stopped what they were doing immediately to face them.
They said it as one, "We are the Cult of Skaro."
If the Doctor knew this name, he didn't look fazed in the least. He squeezed Rose's hand gently.
"Hello! I'm the Doctor, and this is my wife, Rose Tyler."
Now please please please review and tell me how I'm getting on...
As was kindly suggested by pinktardis, the chainsaw needs a name. He is now officially Charlie the Chainsaw, short for Charles Montgomery Percival Chainsaw(MY chainsaw came from the chainsaw aristocracy)
Ahem. Yeah. Anyway, Charlie says hi and please please review!
