a/n: Hi GMW fandom, it's been a while. I've been super busy, I started college and that makes it very hard to write and post. Plus I had some issues going on, but then it inspired me to write. So this is a new multi-chapter. There is a trigger warning for self harm and suicidal thoughts, so please keep yourself safe and take caution before reading. Hope you enjoy.
Riley Matthews sat in the chair fidgeting with her hands, nervous. She didn't want to be here. She doubted anyone she saw wanted to be here. The therapist was sitting up front in the middle of the circle. She came early. She didn't want to deal with her parents constant affection in the car. It only makes feel worst about herself. And with how depressed she feels, how much worst can she get? She wore her favorite over sized sweater. It was comfort for her. It's her dads. It always made her feel safe. But today it held no such abilities. She shifted the sleeves further up her wrist. Even though she knows everyone here goes through the same thing, it didn't give them the right to see it. The big sweatshirt said New York across it. Her father bought it when he started college here.
She never thought she would end up here. To be completely honest she wanted to end up dead. But she'd never admit that to anybody. Not her parents. Not the therapist. Not anyone is this damned group therapy. When the therapist asked her her name she replied but after that she stayed quiet. In her fifteen years of life she never thought she was going to end up in this predicament. She was always a happy child. She has a good childhood. She loved being a big sister. She loved her parents. Loved her life. She didn't really have friends. She had Beary the Bear and her family. What more could she ask for. But when high school approached the bullying started. She tried to ignore it. But it only got worst. She kept ignoring it but it changed to cyber bullying. She began to believe everything that was said to her. It effected her self worth and soon it made her spiral into depression. She started self harming once the bullying got so bad she stayed home without her parents knowing. It started on her wrist but once her parents for suspicious she started her thighs. Then it became an addiction. One night she couldn't take it anymore. School was becoming unbearable. Her home, her safe place was becoming less safe. She lost sleep over others words. She lost her innocence. She lost her will to live. So that night she remembers cutting until she couldn't feel. She didn't care if she survived this or not. Then the world went black.
Now fast forward two weeks later here she is. She remembers everything about the hospital. Her parents crying. The annoyingly clean smell. The looks from the doctors and nurses. The purple cat her brother got her, thinking his big sister just got hurt because she was klutzy. Her parents told her she needed to start going to this to meet other people who are going through this.
Thinking of all of this made time fly. She sat up and brought her knees to her chest and covered them with her sweater. She tensed up when other people started walking in. A tall boy in a plaid button down shirt with a stormy look in his eyes walked in. His brownish blonde hair cut into sloppy chops everywhere. He had a bandage on his knuckles. Then an African American boy walks in. In a white t-shirt with a black sweater over it. He makes eye contact with Riley then smiled. He looked so genuinely happy, she wondered why he was here. Then behind him walked in a couple. Another white boy with spiky brown hair wearing a black shirt with the moon on it. He wasn't wearing a sweater. Unlike the other boys his wrist wasn't covered. She wondered if he didn't self harm and just tried to kill himself or if he just cut somewhere else. He was holding hands with a girl shorter then him. She had dark chocolate eyes and tan brown skin. She has cute colorful clothing. But despite her adorable shopping taste her face told another story. She rubbed her boyfriends arm.
"It's okay Farkle. You are okay" she said, Riley observed it sounds quiet akward. Like she wasn't use to comforting people. She wondered if the girl had any siblings or an only child. Riley was an observant person. She liked guessing someone's story. As she noticed the others walking in she hated to admit she was curious about everyone.
The therapist, Mrs. B, smiled. She was a little older but kind. She was wearing a business like outfit and long brown hair. Riley kind of missed her hair like that. But once her depression hit she couldn't take care of it anymore. She convinced her mom to cut it to shoulder length for a different vibe. But it was literally a weight of her shoulder. She couldn't stand waking up earlier then normal to brush it. Let alone stand waking up.
"Good afternoon everyone" she gave everyone her brightest smile.
But her facial expression changed once she noticed the empty seat next to felt herself relax once she realized she wouldn't be completely surrounded. The tall plaid boy shirt was on her left. The boy in the black sweater next to him. Then across the room was the boy who seemed anxious and his supportive girlfriend. She stayed holding his hand regardless of how out of it he seemed.
"Where is Maya?" She asked. The boy began to fidget.
"Where is Maya?" He echoed frantic. Riley guessed they were friends.
His girlfriend just hugged him. "It's okay honeybuckets. Maya is a tough. She can take care of herself"
"Yeah cause she's doing so well" the plaid shirt boy says sarcastically.
The other boy glared. "Like you're any better" Riley tensed up again at his sudden bitter tone.
"Hey you okay sugar?" The other boy asked. It took Riley a while to her to notice he was talking to her. He moved from his sit to the empty chair next to her.
"I'm Zay" He introduces himself with a smile and extended his hand. Riley hesitated before shaking it.
"Riley" she greeted with a small smile.
"Could you be any cuter" she giggled for the first time in months. She blushed.
"Why are they arguing?" She askes, curious. Zay points to the boy with the moon shirt.
"That's Farkle. The girl sitting next to him is his girlfriend Smackle" He informed her.
Then pointed the boy he was sitting next to. "Lucas. My best friend" "the girl in question is Maya. Whose seat I'm currently in. She's Farkle childhood friend. He gets really worried. He was the one who got her to come here. But she ditches sometimes. Makes him really anxious. The only person that can calm him down is Smackle. If he worries to long he'll faint" Riley gasped.
He just nodded and sighed. "Hopefully it won't get that bad"
"Yeah hopefully" regardless just meeting this people she didn't want anything bad happen. Even though she knew something bad had to happen for then to end up there.
"Nice meeting you Riley" "nice meeting you, Zay " she complimented. Surprising herself. He got up and went back to his seat.
"Well she's normally late. Let's just start without her" the therapist recommended. "We can't start without her" Farkle said. "What if something happened?What if she tried something? She didn't text me today. She texts me everyday just so I know she's okay"
"She's okay star of my eyes" Smackle told him. "She's okay"
"How do you know?" Farkle asked nothing but concern practically burning in his voice. Riley began to feel bad. She hasn't felt anything for anyone in so long. A girl with long blonde hair walks in. Her blue eyes seemed to tell stories that Riley wanted to know. She has a Rolling Stones t-shirt on with a leather jacket with spikes on the shoulders. She looked tough, unbreakable.
"I'm fine Farkle" she said taking a seat. "No need to get your underwear in a bunch"
Zay laughed. Mrs. B smiled. "Thanks for joining us" the words sound sarcastic but Riley noticed she sound like she meant it.
This Maya girl caught her attention more then the others. "Why didn't you text me" Farkle said. He didn't sound possessive only worried. Riley just noticed the dark circles under his eyes.
"Lost my phone on the subway. I told you to stop worrying about me" He actually smiled. Riley was surprised. The girl seemed so edgy. Hardcore. Like she doesn't care about anything. Yet her attitude towards Farkle was so soft, and she had a joking tone. Riley wondered about their childhood memories together.
"Like I can stop doing that"I know you never will" she winked at him.
"Can't blame a girl for trying" they shared a secret smile. Riley couldn't help but smile back. Riley felt like she was in on the secret. The Farkle boy looks familiar. Once Riley realized she was surrounded again she tensed up and put her knees to her chest again. "No need to freak out new girl. I won't bite" she said. Riley just nodded.
"Now that Maya is here, let's get started"
a/n: Hope you liked Chapter 1. Thank you so much for reading. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.
Have a great day beautifuls
-Summer
