Dumb and Dumb-Ass: When Riku Fights Sora

For those of you that played Kingdom Hearts, you'd remember that Sora fought Riku in Hallow Bastion. That's when Riku had that cool Keyblade.

Well the game lied, Square Enix were high of all drugs, sugars, and flavors of pocky.

This is the true story. All content has been added. Don't read this if you are in risk of heart diseases or have a weak heart. You'll laugh so hard that your tears will make the next flood.

I've written this warning. You can't make me pay your hospital bills.

Signed,

Justin Thomas

Well now let's give you the idea what's happening.

Riku is busy raping Kairi. Sora is heading there on his ship.

Soon enough, soon comes.

"You get a room," asked Sora.

"Are guys in kiddy shows supposed to see this," asked Goofy.

"We're supposed to wait till we hit puberty," replied Donald, "So much for that."

"Sora save me," yelled Kairi.

"Dammit the enchantment wore off," said Riku.

"How dare you do Kairi first," said Sora, "Why?"

"Because I'm older. I'll learn to drive first," replied Riku, "I deserve to have Kairi."

"You're just jealous that I would've lost my virginity first," said Sora.

"I already lost my virginity," said Riku, "I raped Kairi."

"I'm going to kill you," said Sora.

Sora started advancing. The Kingdom Hearts theme song plays. Sora is slowly running. After an hour, Sora realizes that he's on a treadmill.

Riku was playing X-Box 360.

"Wanna play Halo 3?" asked Riku.

"Sure," replied Sora as he grabbed a controller.

After 10 hours of playing, Kairi said:

"IDIOTS! YOU"RE FIGHTING!"

Sora took his Keyblade and stabbed Riku's chest.

"Dammit. My six-pack won't the ladies," said Riku.

"I won," said Sora.

"I'm saved," said KIRI.

"What the fuck," said Donald.

"Donald, you're fired," said Steven Spielberg.

"What?" said Donald.

"We're being filmed for channel 13," said Goofy.

"Well what did I do I'm on break," replied Donald.

"You cursed and took of your mask on live TV," said Goofy.

"Oops," said Donald, "Wait channel 13 is viewing my ass as we speak."

"Well everyone likes the ass-pects of this show," said King Mickey.

And that's the truth everyone. Kingdom Hearts was a movie and then a game much like Harry Potter.