Disclaimer: Do not own.
Chapter One- Better Off This Way
"All that we had, it's understood
Forget all the bad, remember the good
There's faith in a soul, there's truth in a song
Doing what's right can hurt more than what's wrong
Sometimes I can't explain emotion from your pain
Everything's changing
I've rearranged…
Now it's alright, it's not the same
Things will be better off this way
I see you now survive somehow
Now I believe you're stronger than before"
-Craving Lucy- "Far Away"
There's gonna be quite a few flashbacks throughout the story, all flashbacks will be in italics.
Things don't always turn out the way you think they will. You can dream about something, put all your work and love into it, and still have it fall apart right before your eyes. Sometimes you can't even predict it, it sneaks up on you and hits you so hard you're breathless afterward. And then you're left wondering how it happened in the first place.
Why couldn't I have prevented it?
Where did it go wrong?
Why did it go wrong in the first place?
How could I have let myself get so close to her? That was the million dollar question. I knew how dangerous it was to do it. I just couldn't help myself.
Bella Swan came to our school one day out of the blue. I stayed away as long as I could, but she captured me in her big brown eyes and stole my heart right away from me. She never judged me, she never looked at me like I was a monster. Somehow she could accept everything that I was and everything I had done. Above that, she loved me.
And that's what makes it so hard to leave her.
I guess you could say I had been waiting from day one for the other shoe to drop. If I let her into my life something was bound to go wrong, I knew it. She knew it, but refused to believe she could really be hurt. Rosalie never let me forget it.
Of course I know Bella is human. She doesn't belong in a world of vampires.
So what's the problem?
It was Bella's eighteenth birthday. A major birthday. She'd come over to my house to celebrate with my family. As she was opening a present she got a paper cut and was nearly attacked by Jasper.
It was my fault. Bella may refuse to accept that, but it was. Now, I'm at a loss as to what to do.
I won't put her in danger any longer, but I can't deny my love for her. If I were to stay here she would only be a constant target for danger.
And that's why I left her. Admittedly probably not in the best way. I left her alone in the woods behind her house. I told her I didn't love her anymore and I left her. I lied to her face, and left her. It nearly tore my heart out to leave her there. Even though I could hear her trying to follow me, I couldn't turn around. I couldn't go back. She was better off without me.
"Bella, how does this even work?" Edward asked, holding up the fishing pole with a confused expression.
Bella couldn't help but smile at how adorable he was at that moment. Finally, she had found something he wasn't good at. "Look, you push this button in. Raise your arm back and then like you're throwing a ball, you move your arm forward." She slowly went through the motions as she spoke.
He stared at her. "This seems silly. Why can't I just dive in and catch the fish with my bare hands? Wouldn't that impress you more?" He smiled.
"Edward?" said Bella.
"Yes, darling?" he teased with a playful leer.
"Shut up and catch me a fish." She shoved the pole back into his hands and then went back to her spot. Edward watched her pick up her own fishing pole and cast her line into the water. She turned her head and smiled slightly. "I'm not kidding, we're not leaving until you catch a fish. With the fishing pole," she added, seeing him glance out at the water.
Edward shook his hands. "You humans and your silly contraptions." He fiddled for a moment and then did exactly as Bella showed him. "Look, Bells, I did it!" he exclaimed happily.
The brunette looked over at him and shook her head. "Did you push the button in before you cast out?"
The vampire looked at his line to find it dangling in front of him, and not in the water as he'd hoped. "This is stupid." He tossed the pole on the ground as Bella laughed.
Now I'm sitting on the roof of a hotel in Brazil. I'd been here a few months now. Spending time on my own, enjoying the clear night air. It was nearly Christmas.
It was one in the morning but people were still alive and kicking. They hurried along the sidewalk beneath me. A few people spotted me and shouted up to me, mostly friendly shouts. One of my favorite past times was sitting on the roof at night and just sitting there, absorbing the quiet of the night.
During the day time I sat in restaurants or coffee shops, just to watch the people go by. Lots of people got married or honeymooned here. Couples everywhere walked hand-in-hand. I enjoyed watching them all pass by. It made things easier for me somehow. Though none of them knew how I was feeling at the moment.
The rest of my family were in Alaska, living with the Denali clan. Esme had been harassing me for weeks, warning me I'd better be there for Christmas or she'd have my head. Sweet as she is, I wouldn't dare think of skipping the holiday to sulk by myself.
She was worried about me. They all were. I'd fly out tomorrow. I had to admit, I was looking forward to spending some quality time with them.
I stood up and climbed back down to my window. Earlier I had packed my bag for Alaska. My flight was scheduled to leave at seven the next morning. The watch on my wrist told me that was only four hours away.
I sat down at the old, cluttered desk and began to write. Another thing I had taken to during my time here. When I finished I folded up the paper and put it in the box with the rest. Someday…
"What the hell?" Edward asked in disbelief. Bella had just beaten him again.
"Did I win?" she asked innocently, but she knew she had.
Edward gaped at her. "I can't believe you beat me. Again."
She laughed, her chocolate eyes lighting up when she did so. Edward smiled, shaking his head. "I'm not teaching you to play any more games if all you're gonna do is beat me."
He started picking the cards up as Bella pulled her winnings to her. This was the third hand in a row she had won. His money was getting low.
Last week he had taught her to play chess. When she started winning more, they had switched to poker. Now Edward was thinking they were gonna have to find a new game to play. This was unacceptable.
Edward smiled at the memory. He couldn't play poker with Bella anymore. He had lost too much money to her and was now in debt to her at least sixty dollars. Before he'd left, he'd planned on teaching her to play pool. He hoped her clumsiness would have been a setback in her playing. Now did didn't think he'd ever get the chance to see. Gazing out the window at the stars, he thought about what he wouldn't give for a shot at teaching her.
A/N: Wow, it's been a while since I've written any fan fiction. I can't take any credit for this idea, one of my best friends came up with it and since she isn't a writer, she asked me to write it. Hope you enjoyed it. I beta my own chapters, so if there are any mistakes they are all mine. ~JLL
