Three heads are better than one

Summary: CRACK fic. In which Hagrid and Hades discuss the pros and cons of a Cerberus. One-Shot.

Disclaimer: I do not own Hagrid or Hades. They both belong to their respective creators, even if Hades was originally a mythological character, adapted into a Disney movie and then used in a game, XD.

Warnings: Since this was just a random idea which popped up in my head, I can safely say that; yes, this was indeed a very cheap story. (This comment is to the reviewer who wrote a one word comment on one of my stories)
The only warning I will give is that this is a random scene in which Hades and Hagrid meet at the Olympic Coliseum just after Sora defeats the Cerberus.

P.S. I can't do Hagrid's accent to save my life, so instead of murdering it I decided to leave it normally. Just imagine Hagrid and you'll hear the accent in your mind.

Olympic Coliseum…

"Well ain't she a beauty!"

Hades turned; ready to glower at the human who had just showed up. A heavily bearded man, who probably had some Titan blood in him judging by his size, was standing behind him and looking at the half-dead Cerberus behind him.

"You her owner then?" the human said, looking down at the God of the Underworld with beetle like eyes. "Had one just like her once. Shame, such a shame. He died five years back just as I wanted to set it free again."

Hades looked at the man with a slightly stunned expression. Then again, the God of the Underworld didn't do stunned, so he schooled his expression before the man turned back to look at him again. "Yes, rather useless they are," Hades drawled as if bored. "I don't think I've ever owned one which lasted this short against such a weak opponent. Why I remember the time when its brother fought against Wonder Boy."

The man looked shocked. "You mustn't have raised her well then. Such a shame, because they are fierce protectors."

"That I know," Hades sneered. Preposterous that this man dared to doubt his skills of raising one of his own creatures. "Her mother has protected my Gates for three hundred years before she finally died. Why her grandfather was able to last for nearly five hundred."

The human seemed startled that a Cerberus could live that long. "But Fluffy only made it till his tenth birthday."

"You must not have raised him well then," Hades scoffed. "Then again, what do you expect when you name a Cerberus Fluffy? Unless it was a half-breed, but I didn't think they did that anymore."

"I-I don't know what you mean," the human muttered, turning a little pink underneath his beard.

"No wonder it only reached a measly ten years of age," Hades said, slightly angry with the man. It just proved how stupid humans could be. "And you come here and talk to me how I should raise my creatures when I was the one who created them in the first place."

The human goggled at him, but he didn't step back like most humans would when they found out he was the God of the Underworld. Shocked turned to curiosity in the blink of an eye and the large man gestured towards the resting Cerberus, as if asking permission. Hades just stared at the human blankly before sighing and leading the way towards the half-dead creature. "Why use a Cerberus in a fight though? They are much better as gate keepers."

"Spur of the moment decision," the God said softly. "My fighter failed so I needed something to gain the upper hand quickly. Seems I made the wrong decision though."

When they arrived at the defeated form of the three-headed dog, the man revealed quite a skill. He searched in his many pockets and revealed a first rate care kid and started to treat the wounded animal. His size certainly came in handy when taking care of such a large creature. Hades almost face-palmed when the man suddenly started to coo and sing softly when one eye of the Cerberus opened. "Yes you're a good girl, yes you are. Just go back to sleep and it'll all be over soon. Shh, little Cerberus, shh."

"You certainly know your way around a large animal," Hades said.

"Have to, won't I," the man said, before turning and grinning widely. "Then again I haven't introduced myself haven't I. Rubeus Hagrid, Keeper of Keys and Grounds at Hogwarts School and Care of Magical Creatures teacher. Nice to meet ya."

Hades hummed thoughtfully and watched the man work. "The problem with Cerberus's, they are incredibly stupid but they never forgive and forget."

Hagrid turned towards him in confusion. "I had planned to just finish her off. She's useless to me even if you would be able to heal her. It would mean that her brother would never work for me though."

The Gamekeeper looked like a fish above water for an instant before standing. "Now hold on a minute…"

"I have no use for her," Hades continued raising a hand to silence the larger man. "But maybe you do."

Scotland…

Somewhere at Hogwarts Albus felt a shiver go down his spine and looked down at his pocket watch. While it was time for Hagrid to return, he had a feeling that something troublesome was just about to happen.

A/N: That's it. Hope you like this outburst of randomness.