Preface: This started as a random joke and somehow turned into reality. (Neither of us actually remember how it started, exactly, it was just one off-hand comment after another.) If you want to sail this ship, climb on board. We're (mostly) joking, though, so don't (ever, never, ever) take it too seriously...
Warnings: Trace amounts of cursing, swearing, foul language. Heaps of unexpected (mis)adventures to ensue.
And finally, the usual disclaimer applies. Ghost Hunt is the property of Fuyumi Ono/Shiho Inada and rights remain in the hands of Kodansha/Del Rey/Tanoshimi/J.C. Staff/TV Tokyo/Funimation etc. Not Meepyonnee or archangelBBQ, although we're delighted to share this little frivolity with you.
And without further ado, we bring you:
-:-:-:-:-
THE NAROTA FILES
- Prologue -
-:-:-:-:-
With the echoes of laughter and cheerful banter ringing in his ears as his co-workers converse behind him, Lin sits in front of the monitors yet again, ignored by the others as he oh-so-dutifully watches the live feed as is ordered by his so-called boss. Excluded from the discussion, he is thankful for the opportunity given to him to be alone with his thoughts. He has never been one for social interaction anyway and he appreciates their effort to neglect him because they know how important it is for him to type aimlessly away on his computer, pretending to look busy and — oh fuck it.
No, he doesn't like being excluded from the group. No, he doesn't like being alone. And NO he doesn't like being forgotten.
Come on, you can't even blame him for (mentally) bursting out like an extremely whiny teenage emo brat! (—Yes, exactly like someone in particular.) In the entirety of the first Akumu volume, he's shown only eight times! EIGHT. Eight flippin' panels in the whole goddamn book. The artist doesn't even bother to draw his whole face in most of them! (Never mind the fact that his hairstyle covers half his face anyway.) And six out of eight he's only shown because he's in the frame with Naru, theso-called 'main protagonist', and in the other two he's shown only because he's answering a question this so-called main protagonist asked. Ugh.
Okay, yeah, so in his contract he's listed only as a minor character, even though he's been around since day one. (Never mind how that happened, going from that lucrative gig in Furuba to this.) But look, when any of the other 'minor' characters are featured they're usually in the middle of getting killed by ghosts/demons/zombies/etcetera and, no, Lin has no plans of dying any time soon! Seriously! Even that new guy, Hirota Seigi, gets more screen time! And he isn't even the client! He doesn't even have a sob story! And he has more screen time than Mai. What the hell. (Well, maybe Lin's just overreacting and maybe he didn't count properly. But you get the point.)
Wait, is Hirota the new female protagonist? Is he the new love interest? 'Cause it definitely seems like it. Naru's only ever that intense whenever he argues. And he only ever argues with Mai, his soulmate! (Yeah Lin ships them, fuck off.) Does that mean he's abandoning Mai now? Is he bored of her already? Is he having another one of his rebellious fits and feels the need to deny what the fans want? (Naru's pissed about their ship name, 'Mairu.' Or maybe he just likes the sound of 'Narota' more.) And perhaps maybe he's—
"Lin, what do you think?" a voice says, cutting off his thoughts. It's Naru, and he's looking at him expectantly.
Oh. Shit. He hasn't been listening to their discussion. "I can't say for sure," he says, racking his brain for a vague answer he can use. "Unidentified spirits are outside my jurisdiction."
Okay so, now where was he . . .
Wait.
Waitwaitwait
W-was that his first appearance in the second volume?! Seriously? He just answered another one of Naru's questions? And his answer isn't even any good, too! No no wait go back! He'll answer properly this time! Go back go back go baaaaaa—
. . . A sudden tune interrupts his mental breakdown, accompanied by two short vibrations. Reaching for the origin in his front pocket, he takes his phone out and sees he has two new messages.
Lin-kun, that was a good expression just now, but please save it for the next volume. The ghosts aren't here yet. Thanks. –Inada
Oh yeah, btw, you won't be featured for another couple of chapters. Just relax and do whatever~ –Inada
By the content of the messages, Lin isn't sure whether the artist is mad at him or not. On one hand, he hasn't been yelled at for screwing up the scene. On another, he thinks he's being punished. Just when he finally gets an entire panel to himself, the artist makes him look like a retard! And then what? He isn't going to be featured in the next few chapters?!
Okay. Okay, woo. Breathe in, breath out. Calm thyself, Lin. Do as Grandmother says and let go of the negativity. He'll just take it out on someone else — Naru. Yes, he should take it out on Naru. (He's the usual victim anyway.) And on Hirota, too. He's the one hogging all of Lin's screen time.
He thought and thought. What would be the best way to piss those two off? Pranks are no good. They're all still working right now and he might be punished again by Inada-sama if he ruins any more scenes. Maybe he should mess with the case data? Ah, but . . . the same would happen. He'd be punished, Hirota wouldn't be affected anyway, and it would only be Naru who's gonna freak.
Then . . . maybe . . .
Huehuehuehuehuehue.
Yes.
Narota.
The laptop on his desk beckons him, whispering promises of revenge and entertainment—both of which won't be at the price of endangering himself. If he is going to do this, then he's going to do it in such a way that will strike Naru and Hirota right at their Achilles heels: manly pride. And at the same time, Lin will get the most enjoyment out of it.
Fanfiction.
He's been reading stories in this fandom for quite a while now and it shouldn't be too hard to write an outrageously good one. If he did it right, this might turn out to be a legend, one so famous (or notorious) that the characters themselves will hear about it and be tempted to read it.
Oh, he can't wait to see the look on Naru's and Hirota's faces when they read his fic.
Call him vindictive if you want.
This just has to be done.
-:-:-:-:-
