Eliot shuffled into the kitchen area, cursing the brightly chirping birds. They were being extra loud today, or maybe he was being extra moody; it was early and he wasn't in any shape to figure out which.

Rubbing his eyes, he filled a cup of left-over coffee as a last desperate attempt to jump start his brain. Usually he'd be quick on the draw, but that's with the adrenaline of combat coursing through his veins, or at least a few hours out of bed.

Stale coffee in one hand he reached for his brown cookie jar with the other. He didn't have a habit of having cookies for breakfast, per se, but he always ate one or two with his morning coffee, which preceded his actual breakfast. Beats brushing your teeth before eating, not to mention almond blueberry white chocolate chunk cookies are delicious.

Eliot felt the breeze against his bare legs just as he noticed the jar was light - too light - and the fog cleared in an instant. He'd never go to bed without making sure everything was shut tight. He turned around, and there the culprit was: an open window.

Four feet away from said window stood Parker; completely still, watching him with puffy chipmunk cheeks. How had he not notice someone standing in his living room? But then it wasn't someone, it was Parker, creepy ninja Parker.

"Parker," he said as grumpily as possible. It was still early, but there's nothing like a good breaking and entering to wake a guy up, and he was fully alert now. She wasn't pulling a stunt like this without consequences.

She just kept standing there.

He tried again, a warning lacing his voice, "Parker."

This time she briefly raised her left hand in greeting.

He clenched his jaw. "You ate all my cookies."

She solemnly shook her head, and started chewing the contents of her mouth as stealthily as possible, which wasn't very stealthy at all, considering she must have had about three of them at once. It looked really really dry. Eliot was all out of milk; she'd have to make do with a glass of ass kicking.

"Really. Someone else break in here?"

She nodded her head and seemed to like the idea.

"So you just broke in to protect me, huh?"

The nodding became more eager.

"You eat the cookies to protect them too?" he asked, arms akimbo, adding a glare for extra effect.

Parker stopped nodding and finally opened her mouth in a gross example of bad table manners. "Wemt oup de window."

There's crazy, and then there's Parker. "Try again."

"Moo, I sweaw," Parker replied, crumbs flying as she spoke, still pointing at the window she'd no doubt entered through. By now she was standing in the middle of a baked goods warzone, debris flying everywhere; the Cookie Monster attacks Tokyo. He was clearly going to have to vacuum, and Eliot hates vacuuming like you wouldn't believe.

"You're dead," he said as he launched himself at Parker, but before he'd made two steps in her direction she swiveled, and in three bounds she leaped through the window and out of sight. The last he saw was a see-through plastic bag stuffed full of his freaking delicious cookies bouncing from her belt.

And now the cookies were out the window.