Written for the Winged Lion of Coruscant for my Christmas Gift post. She wrote me a lovely fic as a present, and I suggest that everyone else read it as well. It made me gigggle!
"No," the Master said firmly, ignoring the hurt look the Doctor gave him. "Absolutely not."
"But..."
"I'm not repeating myself, Doctor."
"It'd be fun!"
"Fun? You want me to trust your idea of fun?" the Master scoffed.
"Yes. I indulge in yours," the Doctor pointed out.
The Master smirked. "That's because mine really are fun. And enjoyable. And sweaty."
"Not everything you want is perfect," the Doctor protested. "I was sore all last week."
"That's because I told you to get new ropes that wouldn't break. It's not my fault you decided whatever was lying around the TARDIS would work," the Master said.
"If you'd just try it you'd like it!" the Doctor insisted. He paused before looking at the Master hopefully. "Would you say yes if I agreed to go to Bebido Five with you afterwards?"
The Master's eyes narrowed. He'd been pestering the Doctor so they could go to Bebido Five for a long time. It was a pleasure planet, filled with enough substances that would allow even them to get properly sloshed. The Doctor wasn't lying, the Master could tell, and he decided to agree to it only because there were some things he wanted the Doctor to try on that he never would sober. Certain buckle-ly, lacy things.
"Fine. What was it you wanted to do on Earth?" the Master asked, rolling his eyes when the Doctor grinned and bounced to the console like a child about to receive a puppy.
"It's a surprise!" the Doctor announced, swinging the TARDIS's screen around so he couldn't see the coordinates. Once the TARDIS shuddered to a stop the Master began to walk towards the door but was stopped short as the Doctor darted in front of him.
"Oh no, no, no. It's a surprise. You can't see it!" the Doctor protested before his long, thin fingers began to swiftly undo the Master's tie.
The Master raised an eyebrow. "Am I supposed to walk out there naked?"
"No. Well, not unless you really really wanted to, but it might be a bit chilly at first. It'll be chilly either way, but-"
"Doctor," the Master interrupted, placing a finger of his own against the other Time Lord's lips until they stilled. "I agreed to come with you, not be ranted at."
"Right!" the Doctor agreed, sliding the Master's black silk tie from around his neck. He stepped behind the Master and used it as a blindfold over his eyes. "Can you see anything?"
"Only my irritation. Interestingly enough, it takes the visual form of me strangling you," the Master replied. "Why are you blindfolding me?"
"Surprise," the Doctor stretched out the word as if he was speaking to a simpleton. The Master opened his mouth to reply but the Doctor was tugging him forward and soon he was carefully stepping down the ramp (Stepping, mind you, for the Master never stumbled) and through the TARDIS doors. The Master breathed deeply, feeling a wet breeze caress his skin as he inhaled the salty scent of the ocean. The Doctor quickly tugged off the Master's suit coat before he undid the tie around the Master's eyes, allowing him to take in his surroundings. They were standing on the top of a cliff over the ocean with nary a person in sight. The Master glanced down at the rock-free waters below them, only to look up as the Doctor kicked off his own shoes and pulled of his pinstripe coat.
"What are you-" the Master began, then narrowed his eyes when he saw the mischievous look on the Doctor's face. "No."
"I'd take those shoes off if I were you," the Doctor replied, happy and eager and the Master just wanted to punch him.
"No. I am not doing this. We are not doing this. If you want to indulge in lunacy then don't-" the Master started, taking a step back towards the TARDIS, but the Doctor merely grinned impishly, grabbed hold of his hand, and jumped. The Master had a split second to shout "Doctor!" before he was pulled from the ledge and they both fell towards the rapidly increasing water. The Master took a second to enjoy the feeling of the air whipping past him before he positioned himself for impact and thanked Rassilion that he had left his laser screwdriver in his coat pocket because he hadn't gotten around to waterproofing yet.
The water was cold as he cut into it but he quickly warmed up as he propelled his way upwards. He reached the surface first and took the opportunity to glare at the Doctor and dunk him back under when the other Time Lord reached the surface, far too smug and exhilarated.
"And what was the purpose of this little exercise?" the Master asked once he relented and let the Doctor back up for air.
"I've wanted to do that for a long time," the Doctor said, brushing his hair out of his eyes. The ridiculous section that the Doctor tended to twist into impossible styles when he was nervous (the section which he did not gel, he swore) was now dripping with water and flopped over his eyes to reach his nose.
"Yes, but why did I have to do it?" the Master asked, crossing his arms. It didn't matter that they were underwater and the Master scowled when the Doctor raised an eyebrow in amusement.
"It's no fun when you're on your own!" the Doctor explained. The Master closed his eyes until he regained his patience and then did the only logical thing to do. He swung his arms back and splashed the Doctor, diving under the water and began to swim back to shore before he could retaliate.
"Well that's just not fair!" he heard the Doctor splutter before he swam after him. The Master had reached the shore and had sat down to drain his now drenched shoes of extra water.
"These were expensive shoes," the Master said when the Doctor sat down next to him. The Master glanced away as the Doctor sprawled in the sand because damn it he had to know how his shirt became see through and clingy when it was wet.
"You have hundreds of pairs back in the TARDIS," the Doctor replied without opening his eyes. "Besides, I told you to take off your shoes."
"And I told you I didn't want to go swimming," the Master snapped, flinging a stray piece of seaweed at the Doctor's head for good measure.
The Doctor cracked one eye open and grinned at him. "Actually, you said 'No. I am not doing this. We are not doing this. If you want to indulge in lunacy then don't-' You said nothing about swimming."
"Oh yes, now you listen," the Master gripped before he lay back, grimacing as his head rested on the beach. "This sand is going to get everywhere."
"Sounds a lot like you," the Doctor teased.
"You're such a tart."
"I haven't had one of those for ages. You know we should go to-"
"Oh no," the Master said sharply, sitting up and glaring at the Doctor. "You said Bebido Five and we're going to Bebido Five."
"I did promise that, didn't I?" the Doctor replied. "Beach by day and on the town at night."
"Night? We're leaving right now," the Master said, standing up and nudging the Doctor with his foot until he did the same. "I could really go for a Sex on the Beach."
"In drink form and not physical form? I'm surprised," the Doctor replied, his eyes widened in amusement.
"I'm not saying we couldn't end on the beach, Doctor. Although I wouldn't suggest cliff diving after a bender."
"So this wasn't a bad idea, then?"
"You've had worse," the Master admitted, putting his shoes back on and making a face as they began to squelsh with each step. "You still owe me a new pair of shoes."
The Doctor grinned and began to cheerfully climb his way back up the TARDIS. And if the Master pushed him off once more when he was bending down to get his trainers then, well, no one really minded besides a few indignant sea gulls.
