Sunset and Shadows

The Parting

Elia Martell left King's Landing in a bright day bathed in sunlight. Many eyes peeked at her with ill-contained curiosity, surprised that she hadn't put on a veil to hide her face, her shame. Their surprise grew when, instead of being crestfallen and weeping all the way, they saw a smooth olive face, wide clear eyes, no puffiness, nothing indicating that she had cried recently.

In truth, Elia herself was quite taken aback when she woke up. She had expected a sleepless night in which she would have mulled all over the nightmare of the last year – but exhausted by agitations, crushed by fear and numbed by sinister anticipation, her body had taken the official ending as a sign that it was finally allowed to sleep. She only woke up when Rhaenys slipped in bed next to her before sunrise. She felt so rested that she couldn't believe it. In fact, her handmaidens who had come to gather the last of her things looked more anxious than her.

It surprised her, how few things she had left after three years of marriage. Most of her belongings, she didn't need and most of the rest of them, she didn't want. They were part of the life she had once led here and that was where they belonged. She hadn't wished for any of her things for Dragonstone to be sent to her either.

"I thought you were going to take the golden sun."

Her first impulse was to spin around and snap at him but she forced herself into calmness. She turned slowly and gave him a cool look. "What made you think so?"

Rhaegar looked away. She had always loved the ball of glass and amber encased in it that he had given her when she had first announced that she was with child. A sun to keep you warm in the mists of Dragonstone, he had said.

"You can take whatever you want, Elia. Everything. I do not wish to hurt you."

She shook her head. His small gestures of kindness could never make up for the way he had hurt her already. "I am taking the most precious things of my time here," she said. "To me, they are the only things worth having."

"They are to me as well, Elia." His voice was insistent. "You must believe me. When Rhaenys was born, I…"

"But they aren't your heads of the dragon," Elia said. "So they're worthless to you. I am happy, indeed. I don't think I could have survived if you had sent me away and kept them."

She was treating him with the same cold courtesy she had displayed ever since he had come back from that joyful tower of his. She had even accepted him in her bed the night before he left for the Trident – only to be told at dawn that when he returned, she'd be sent back home. The three heads of the dragon had to be born to one father and one mother, just like Aegon and his sisters had.

He was still not looking at her, yet Elia got the feeling that should she tell him to, he'd grovel to her to ask her forgiveness. Which only disgusted her. True men did not grovel. Or at least, did not do things that would make them grovel later. It looked like his plans, so clear cut in this tower in Dorne – Dorne! Her blood boiled at the insult – were not so easy to implement now that he had to face his very real family. She really thought that for all his infatuation with the prophecy and the wolf girl he would miss his children. The one that just yesterday had been officially declared bastards. That was the part that would have made her shriek and curse Rhaegar to no end if she was not constantly observed.

"I will miss them," the new King said softly, and Elia smiled.

"Have no care, I have full trust that your new bride and son will be there to comfort you."

He flushed and Elia wondered if the happy future he had envisioned had started falling apart already. At Lyanna Stark's arrival, she had looked at the hastily repaired great hall where Aerys had met his end and laughed – which could not have pleased Rhaegar. Elia knew that he had loved his father once. Despite everything, he grieved for Aerys' death. And Lyanna Stark exulted in it. Elia could not blame the girl but neither could she feel sympathy for either of them.

"Perhaps you should appoint her brother to the Kingsguard when he comes of age," she suggested. Her uncle's death still burned her and she was in no mood to keep her barbs in. "That's what you do, right? I have no doubt that he'll be eager to take the white."

He stared at her face and sighed. "I wish things were different, Elia," he said. "I know you don't believe me but I would have never taken her if you could give me another child."

"You're right," Elia agreed. "I don't believe you. Why are you here, Rhaegar? You want to ask my forgiveness? I do not give it. I wish you luck. I hope you're happy with your sweet love and she gives you all the children you want. But do not dare to expect that you could ever find anything close to understanding from me."

She had not raised her voice but Rhaegar could feel the steel beneath her words. The precipice between them was such that no words of regret could fill it. She would be leaving in less than an hour – a humiliated wife, a queen who had never ascended to her throne, a mother to children who were no longer prince and princess but just Lord Aegon and Lady Rhaenys. Mere courtesy titles, although he intended to make provisions for Aegon when he grew older. It could not be anything too great, unfortunately. He wasn't going to let the Blackfyre rebellion repeat. As much as it pained him, he had to do grave injustice to his children to save the world. The Prince Who Was Promised could not be allowed to waste resources in a battle with an older half-brother with legitimate grievances and means to support his claim.

In the cradle next to Elia's bed, Aegon stirred and Rhaegar hesitated. "I wish you all the happiness in the world," he said. "I cannot imagine anyone more deserving of it."

She paid him no attention and he realized that she had just been humouring him. To her, his words were wind. She was already reaching for the child and he was quick to leave. Since the very moment he had realized that he'd have to give up on his children if he was to get the three heads, he had been distancing himself from them. It would be better if they didn't get attached to him. Unfortunately, it didn't work the other way. He'd carry their absence from his life as a gaping hole that no one, least of all Lyanna, could ever soothe.