Written for the Hogwarts Online prompt of the day: Scared.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and am neither rich nor famous. It shows.


If she was honest with herself she was scared. She could deny it, oh yes, but it wouldn't change anything. Pansy Parkinson was scared. Scared of the screams the first years made, scared of the Carrows who prowled the hallways. The young Slytherin feared for what her school had become, feared for the world outside it. And to think at the beginning of the year she had been so eager to come!

Hogwarts had never been like this before, never should have been like this. She was all for Pure-Blood supremacy, of course she was. But Pansy had never wanted to achieve it like this. Throw the mudbloods out for all she cared, but was it really necessary to torture them till they bled, to hurt them until they pleaded for death? Some of these children were eleven years old.

Pansy was a bully. She could accept that. She'd always known that, she'd relished that. But she had a heart in the end. She would never wish death on anybody. For all the glory they'd been promised, somehow this didn't feel right. What honour was there in killing till there was no opposition left? What honour was there in power that lay with fear?

Pansy was a true Slytherin, and so she knew all about power, ambition. It was what made her who she was, it was what made her mind tick. She knew all about the different types of power, and power based around fear felt empty, unstable. It didn't feel good at all, just gave you grey hairs when everything went wrong. That was why her family had never been one of the more hostile the first time the Dark Lord was in power. They didn't like it either.

She was alone too. Out of all the houses at Hogwarts, Slytherin was so corrupt, so divided. Nobody trusted anyone anymore, past their reputation. It was each man to themselves- fail and you were next to fall. Every day it was like she was walking a tight-rope act fifty feet off the ground. Every day she kept her mouth shut from dawn till dusk, answering when spoken to, not daring to make eye-contact with anybody in-between. Then after dinner she would go up to her dormitory and cry herself to sleep.

Pansy sometimes found herself asking things- questions -that she had never asked before. Why am I here? Is there a Diety? Why happens after death? Because, after all, when it looks like you're going to die you can't help yourself. Every time her blue eyes opened there was some new threat just waiting to strike her down if she said a word out of place, one toe out of line. The trouble was she didn't know where the line was.

Gryffindor had been the first house to be eliminated when she was sorted. Pansy had never been brave. She'd always clung to those with dignity and joined them for the ride, scrounging whatever she could get from it. Because she had been so sheltered from the limelight she was alone now. She was exposed.

And she hated it.


So...what did you think? Did I go off on a bit of a tangent at the end or was it alright? I actually quite liked writing from Pansy's point of view, because she's always been a follower of the crowd and we don't see very much of her.

Thoughts?