You know it's the Doctor. You know you should be happy – you got what you wanted for so long. You know you're being selfish because you look this man in the eyes and you see you mean more to him than the whole time and space combined. You see that this man, this Doctor loves you but then you look at him for a second too long. You look into his eyes one second too long and see that he's not the same. Something, you can't even put your finger on it, is missing or there is a bit too much of something. You close your eyes and look again. It's not gone. It's still there. He notices that you are staring and extends his arm to cup your face. You quiver under his palm. It feels good. It feels almostthe same. Yet again - almost. Everything you have with this doctor has this unfortunate almostto it. His eyes. You see all those crazy and brilliant ideas flowing behind them. Yet there's something missing. The spark. That spark, when the doctor have said something clever, something out of ordinary or tried to explain why the Tardis is bigger on the inside, is not there. That was your favourite part of him and it's missing – it cuts you deep. This knowing that he's almost THE Doctor. His smile. It's warm bright and loving and every bit of that smile is dedicated to you - still not the same. He smiles at you like you are so brilliant so extraordinary so so special. It makes you shiver cause you know you are not. Not in this world. In THE Doctors world, while you were with him - you were special and this Duplicate's smile just reminds you how ordinary your life has become. You turn away and you shake off his hand. You know you hurt him. You know it's not right to do this to him but you can't help it. He's the Doctor but at same time he isn't THE Doctor and that's what hurts the most. You almost love him. You almost want to settle down and live your life like everybody else. You are almost happy.