I Know I Said I Loved the Hobbit But This Is Ridiculous!
Jael sighed as she paused for a second. "Everest, McKinley, why in blazes are you being bought by someone who is deaf? So annoying...Now I have to retrain you to obey in ASL. I don't even know ASL; that's why I had to bloody buy the book."
The dogs looked up at her with their tongues lolling out of their mouths, and she sighed again. Why do I even bother? This was supposed to be a nice get-away trip because I had finally finished training them in elvish for their new owner, but, no~! The person who was going to buy them backed out, and now their new owner is deaf! I have to retrain them! How am I supposed to completely retrain them in a month?!
"'You're our best trainer, Jael~. You can just take them on your vacation, Jael~. They'll be fully trained by the time you come back, right~?' NO! Hunting is not a vacation! I finally got permission to hunt here in New Zealand, but now I have to take my precious vacation time and do some work! Am I getting paid for this? NO, I am not!"
Everest licked her face, and she wished for not the first time, that she was just a little taller. Oh, well. It could be worse, right? No, wait! Never say that because things always manage to prove you wrong! Things can't get worse! Yeah, that's it! There is literally no way that things can get worse!
She sighed and kept walking, patting McKinley on the head. "Why do I feel as if I just jinxed us, McKinley?" McKinley barked and Jael sighed once more.
"Well, nothing I can do about it, I suppose."
They walked for another hour through the snow before Jael sighed again. I'm bored, and I guess...it's about time for me to start training them in ASL. Ugh! Why me? Boss, you're so cruel!
She whistled, and Everest ran back toward her. "How do you have so much energy, boy? You are carrying a pack that weighs forty pounds." He bounced around her, and she sighed.
"This is why we call you Neverest, you know? I don't know how your new owner is going to put up with you."
She shook her head, took off her pack, and motioned for Everest and McKinley to come closer. She took off their burdens and began to set up her tent. Once she had finished, she grabbed her bow and said, "Everest, McKinley, stay!"
The dogs lay down as she headed out to "hunt". Yeah, I doubt I'll find anything. I just really don't want to start retraining them. It took them forever to learn all the commands in Elvish. Stupid geek that backed out on us. 'I'll buy these two if you train them to respond to Elvish.' 'Ok, I'll put my best trainer Jael on it. No, it's no trouble at all.'
No, trouble for you maybe! But first I had to learn Elvish! Then I had to train them in the normal commands. Then he decides that he wants them to know more. 'Teach them how to carry. Teach them how to herd. Teach them how to guard. Teach them how to tear people apart!' Bloodthirsty freak.
It's a good thing I was a Tolkien fan already. And he didn't even tell us all the commands at once! No, he decided to tell us at random intervals just as I would finish training them what he'd asked the last time.
Jael sighed as she stalked through the forest. Oh well, at least this new guy just wants them to know the basic commands. That should make it easier.
Suddenly, she caught sight of a doe. She instantly stilled, waiting to see if the deer had caught sight of her. After watching the deer for a few minutes, she concluded that it hadn't seen her, and she slowly raised her compound bow and notched an arrow to it.
She stealthily took aim and then loosed the arrow quickly. It hit the deer's heart, and the deer bounded two feet away before collapsing.
Jael walked up to the deer, quickly. She retrieved the arrow and placed it back in its quiver after quickly cleaning it. She placed her bow back in its case and retrieved her skinning knife.
She quickly took care of the deer, wrapping the edible parts in a slick tarp, and using her collapsible shovel to bury the rest.
Grabbing the tarp, she headed back to her temporary camp. McKinley and Everest leaped up when they saw her. Everest bounded around her while McKinley wagged her tail but stayed where she had been told to stay.
Jael sighed as she carefully knelt in the snow to clear a spot for a fire to cook the deer. She quickly lit the sticks she had gathered with one of her lighters and soon had a fire that was just big enough for the meat she had to cook.
She got out the skewers, and it wasn't long before the meat was fully cooked. Everest and McKinley got as close as possible to her, getting as underfoot as possible when only two feet shorter than she was.
"If you don't get out from underfoot, you can catch your own dinner! Linne-au!*"
The dogs went away, just as she'd asked, until she finally managed to place their portion of the meat down on the ground.
"N- mára**. You'll each get some." They waited until she gave them the all clear and then they tore into it.
Jael shook her head, smiling, and then tore into her own food. It's nice to have some time away from civilization for awhile even if I'd rather have been completely alone.
The dogs finished much more quickly than she had, and they quickly came to beg from her. She laughed at their faces and shared some with them both. "Ok, ok. I can't take the puppy eyes!"
After wiping clean the skewers, she got out the Sign Language for Dummies book. Sighing, she began to look up gestures that would be necessary. Oh my word! How does he expect me to get dogs to understand these. If you want the money that much, then you should teach them. Stupid jerky boss.
"Everest, McKinley!"
They came over, and she began to make the sign for sit. She used the first two fingers of her right hand to hit the first two fingers of her left hand. "Sit." They sat, and she sighed. Of course they sat. You told them to verbally. Idiot.
"They are never going to get this. I hate my boss so much right now."
She sat in silence for a second and then shook her head. "Nope! Not doing this today. I'll try again tomorrow."
"Lóre.***"
She packed away both the book and the skewers and went to her tent.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be able to come up with a good idea as to how to teach the dogs ASL.
Jael woke with a start. Something was wrong, but she couldn't quite place what it was. As she sat up slowly, she gasped in shock. Birds! She was hearing birds! There were no birds that sang during the winter here!
She crawled out of her tent to see a forest with absolutely no snow. There were a few flowers, and birds were flying through the sky. I knew I jinxed us when I said that there was nothing more that could go wrong. Ugh. Why me?
There are two options: 1) I finally lost my mind, or 2) I'm the newest incarnation of Rip Van Winkle.
She heard rustling, and quickly pulled out her knife, turning with the weapon raised to be faced...with her dogs. She sighed and quickly resheathed her knife, patting the dogs to reassure them.
"Ok...time to pack up and figure out where in the world we are."
Breaking down the camp was easy...getting Neverest to hold still so she could put his pack on was a whole 'nother story.
"Termáre- símen!****"
Finally, everything had been put in its proper pack, and the packs had been placed on their proper owner. Finally, they could leave. It's not like I spent a year's worth of time chasing him or anything. Stupid dog! I know I trained you, but can't you act like someone responsible trained you?
Jael was about ready to quit...that or die...she couldn't decide which. They had been hiking through the woods for over five hours, and, not only had they not found her cabin, but they also hadn't seen any sign of life except for a few squirrels that Everest had failed to catch.
Suddenly, she heard a sound she couldn't quite believe. Was that the crackling of a fire? A sound of civilization? Ok, I am definitely being stupid! But still! She instantly silenced the dogs and called them back to her with a quickly hissed, "Heel."
"Stay." She whispered and quietly crept towards the sound.
As she stealthily edged toward the clearing, she was praying with all her might that Everest would actually stay. Although he almost never disobeyed a direct command, that did not mean he never disobeyed one.
She peeked into the clearing and stiffened in shock. Okay, so there was a third option. I'm in Middle Earth. That, or I'm in a coma. So I guess that makes four options? Wait! Stop rabbit-trailing!
Okay, what do you know? A blonde and a brunette dwarf...that look suspiciously like Dean O'Gorman and Aidan Turner. Great. Absolutely lovely.
You know, I've never denied loving the Hobbit, and I have definitely said that I would love to live in Middle Earth. But this is just ridiculous! Why ME?!
*Go Away!
**Be good.
***Sleep
****Stay here
Hello, it's me...the author! I don't own any of the characters of the Hobbit, nor do I own the actors that play them. Frankly, I can't even find my copy of the Hobbit because I lent it to someone. :( Anyway, I only own my OCs (yes, I am including the dogs.)
Also, I have a page of details with what is in each of the packs for her dogs and herself, as well as the heights, weights, and pictures of the dogs. If you guys want to see that, just let me know.
