Hello everyone! This is my second fan fiction and I'm really pleased with the response I got from my other fan fiction 'Facing Life Together', I am still in the process of writing that one too so if you are following that one there will be an update very soon;) Thank you to everyone who does read my other fanfiction it means so much that you are also following this one! Also to any new readers, hello and thank you for reading, it would mean so much to me if you follow this story as I really enjoyed writing this first chapter and I can't wait to see what you all think of it! Sooo here is Chapter 1...
Empty. That's how I feel, empty. I have nobody to love, nobody to care about, even my sister is dead. It's all I can do not to reach out for the bottle of painkillers that sit in my kitchen and shove every single one into my mouth. I'm not even strong enough to kill myself, every time I try I get scared. Katniss Everdeen the Mockingjay, a girl who thought she could save the world, what a joke that turned out to be. My sister - she's dead. Haymitch -probably passed out drunk somewhere. Gale - he's in District 2. My Mother - she abandoned me. Peeta - I don't know. I haven't heard off him or any of his doctors in three months, I don't even know if he's still recovering from his hijacking experience. The chances are he saw me for who I am, decided he doesn't want anything to do me and is living in a different district. I miss him; I miss him so much, why did I take him and his love for granted? It takes him not being around for me to realise how much he means to me and that proves to anyone what I really am, a selfish, vile girl and I hate myself.
Here I am slumped against the wall with tears streaming down my face. Only Greasy Sae calling me through the letterbox pulls me out of my trance.
''Katniss? Katniss dear I know you're in there, please let me in, I have a hot stew for you'' My instincts tell me to ignore the door, eventually she'll go away but I know I'll have to answer, Greasy Sae is the only person who seems to notice I'm here, the only person who takes care of me. Every day she visits to check how I am, always with a dish of something for me to eat and I should be more grateful for her. Unwillingly I retract from my slumped position against the wall and head to door tears still streaming down my cheeks.
''Katniss are you ok?'' Greasy Sae asks clearly seeing my tear stricken face, she widens her arms and without hesitation I walk straight into her embrace.
''No – No I'm not, I miss them all, I miss them all so much'' I manage to get out between my sobs
''I know you do dear'' she replies ''...but Katniss, the past is the past, and no matter where they are, I'm sure they all still love you deeply, never ever forget that. Now dear, wipe those tears and get this stew into your stomach'' she leads me to the table and places a bowl of potato stew in front of me. As delicious as it looks I'm not in the mood for eating, I never am.
Two hours quickly pass and I'm almost finished my now cold stew. How ridiculous, I now need motivation from Greasy Sae to finish my meal instead of just staring at it and circling my fork in the bowl. I get up from the table and head to the window. I take a deep breath and draw the curtains apart for what feels like the first time in forever. The light almost blinds me so I have to squint as I gaze at the newly rebuilt District 12. It looks astonishing; to think that only a few months ago the place was a wreck is almost unbelievable. Greasy Sae emerges behind me, ''you know they've finished building the village shops'' she says ''you should go and take a look, the district is going to really benefit from them''
''That's good, do you know who will be running the bakery now?'' I ask
''No Katniss love I don't but I have heard that a youngish man has bought it, I'm sorry, I know you thought Peeta would return and run it''
''I guess he really has gone hasn't he?'' I sigh trying desperately to hold back the tears
''Maybe Katniss, but he might return one day and you two can live happily together, you both deserve each other''
Under my breath I murmur ''I don't''
A week later I decide to go outside for the first time in at least a month. District 12 was only bombed barely 6 months ago and already I can see the promise of new life. Flower buds have begun sprouting through the ground in the meadows, people have found a newfound purpose to live and have begun rebuilding their lives. Even I, Katniss Everdeen can't help but feel proud of how much us citizens of District 12 - the broken people, fight for purpose.
I turn the corner and there it stands, the bakery Peeta's family once owned. It looks exactly as it did before the bombing only a rebuilt version. The white sign with red writing reading 'Bakery' still stands, there are five windows still at the front of the bakery showing off a presentation of cakes and cookies. Without even reslising I was edging forward, I find myself standing at the door, my hand on the handle; I take a deep breath and push it down ready to enter until all the memories come flooding back to me...
I'm sat next to the tree opposite the bakery dying. Myself and my families stomachs are empty, we haven't eaten in weeks, this is it. This is the day I failed my family. I hear shouting and harsh words, the bakers wife drags a boy with blonde hair out of the door, he's holding two loafs of burnt bread. She slaps him across the cheek and tells him to feed the burnt bread to the pigs and returns inside to the warmth of the bakery. Slowly, the boy picks off bits of the bread and throws it into the pigs pen. Then the two loaves are thrown in my direction then without even looking at me, the boy returns inside the bakery.
I can't do it, I can't bring myself to push the door and enter the bakery. It reminds me too much of Peeta and I couldn't face all those memories of the boy with the bread, the boy I love, the boy who once loved me.
I turn around and proceed down the steps that lead up to bakery, I keep my head down as tears threaten to spill from my eyes. As I run back home I feel my shoulder bash into someone.
''Sorry I didn't-'' I look up and find myself staring into the blue eyes that can only belong to one person, Peeta.
Soo that's Chapter 1, sorry I left you on a cliffhanger there;) I wanted Katniss and Peeta's 'reunion' to be a separate chapter plus I like leaving you in suspense hehehe;) Chapter 2 will be uploaded later today or tomorrow and depending on the response I get for the first 3 chapters I'll decide whether or not to continue the story. Please please follow the story and review so I can hear what you thought about the first chapter. Well until chapter 2 I'll leave you with a smiley face and virtual cookies hehe:)
