Title: Ouran High School...Commoner Club?

Rating: PG-13

Series: Ouran

NEW FIC, REJOICE. I had a number of ideas I toyed around with when it came to this one, and I finally decided on the one I liked best so I hope you like it too! But what's with me and dream/knocked out sequences? Seriously, I need a new topic. And if you don't like yaoi references this isn't the fic for you. Trust me, the pervertedness only get worse. This chapter is fairly short, but I wanted to end it where I did so that's why. Is this concept original? No. Am I having fun writing it? Hell yea!

ENJOY!


"I'm so booooored..." Kaoru whined, hanging upside down on the couch, "What are we supposed to do without girls?" That day was the one day a year the males of Ouran academy dreaded. It was the physical education field trip for the ladies only. Which means that unless you're gay and find it a paradise, it's like a real life nightmare where there's a world with no girls.

"Well, there's really only one thing we can do," his brother stated, gently touching Kaoru's exposed skin since his uniform had rided up from being upside down. Even though there were no customers, they still enjoyed being sexual. That and he liked to watch his twin jump when he felt his fingers against his skin.

"Hey! Don't do that.." he pouted, leaning upwards again. He then moved around so he was sitting normally on the couch.

"What? You are the one hanging out," Hikaru shrugged, "It's my god given right to annoy you."

"You make it sound like my dick was hanging out or something," Kaoru was still pouting at him.

"Whatever...I'm bored," Hikaru pointed out the obvious, putting his arm behind his brother.

"Thank you captain obvious for that wonderful obeservation, I had no idea," Kaoru rolled his eyes, only to be given a wet willy by his brother, "Ew ew ew!"

Hikaru laughed, "You know that only means one thing, right?"

After getting over the shock, Kaoru smirked, "Pranks?"

"Hell yea," Hikaru smirked back, "And I have just the thing. We'll set up traps all around the room. Whenever tono gets close to Haruhi, we'll set off the trap that'll tighten around his foot and flip him upside down in the air. He won't know what hit him because we'll be minding our own business when he finally figures out what happened to him."

"Ooou you're so devious~" Kaoru leaned against him, "Sounds great. We better set up before they get back from..whatever they were doing. What were they doing again?"

"Mori-senpai is helping Hunny-senpai with homework in the library, Kyouya-senpai is talking with the teacher about the A- he got on his last project, and tono dragged Haruhi off somewhere in his latest ploy to get in her pants," Hikaru replied simply, "So you're right that we better hurry."

"Isn't tono already in Kyouya-senpai's pants?" Kaoru asked.

"He's still in denial and we're not supposed to talk about it until he isn't anymore," Hikaru pointed out as he hoisted himself up off the couch.

"Wait a minuet, if it's the girls phys ed trip today...why didn't Haruhi go?" Kaoru pointed out.

"Uh, hello. Haruhi is a commoner. She couldn't afford to go on that trip, and even if she could she doesn't have a passport," Hikaru replied as if his brother was completely brain dead, "Now then, I'll get some supplies and you mark off spots where we'll put some of the traps." Kaoru nodded and ran off to follow his brothers orders.

About ten minuets later, they had finished placing the various traps around the room. "I hope this works..." Kaoru thought aloud to himself.

"It will it will don't worry. I think I hear them coming so play it cool," Hikaru advised him as he looked over to see everyone come in at once. It was like they all somehow met up at the same time somewhere and so they all ended up arriving at the same time, too.

"Never fear, your king is here~" Tamaki announced as if there were oh-so-many people disappointed by his lateness.

"Gee tono, we thought that you actually managed to get some judging by the time you were gone," Hikaru replied, causing Tamaki to look confused.

"Get..some? Get some what? I didn't go to get anything..." he blinked, completely oblivious to what the twin had meant.

"He means sex, dumbass," Haruhi filled in the blank, "And I sure hope they didn't mean with me, because if they did you aren't going to be alone with me anymore."

"W...What? I would never do that to my daughter, you filthy twins!" Tamaki roared, "How dare you accuse me of such a thing!"

"Uh, because you told us that was your intention?" Kaoru raised an eyebrow, sounding quite convincing.

Tamaki's jaw fell to the floor. "Well, I guess we know who is never EVER going to have children if he keeps it up," Haruhi threatened, but Tamaki took it a different way.

"What? ARE YOU SAYING YOU'LL PROVIDE ME WITH CHILDREN?" Tamaki squeeled.

"I think she means she'll kick you in the happy sacks so hard your babies will be rendered useless."

Tamaki's squeel of joy turned into a squeak of terror as he held his beloved tenders, "Why would you say such a thing? That's a private place you're talking about...and very sensitive for a guy.."

"Gee, I had no idea, and it won't be if you don't stop being an idiot," Haruhi said as she walked off to clean up some dishes from the other day.

"Takashi, what did they mean by the babies will be useless?" Hunny looked like he could cry at such cruelty to babies. However, in his mind he was thinking of born babies, not the babies they were talking about.

"We'll talk about that another time..." Mori replied, he wasn't in any mood to talk about that (but when would he ever be?).

Kaoru noticed that Tamaki was lingering over one of the traps and nudged his brother, but Hikaru did nothing. "Not yet...not yet.." he murmured at him, "We need to wait for the perfect moment..when no one's watching us, Mori-senpai and Hunny-senpai are still paying attention to us."

"Right...that would make sense..." Kaoru nodded and picked up a cookie off a tray. While he ate, Hikaru was watching carefully as Tamaki glided over to another trap as he bothered Haruhi.

"Perfect.." he muttered. Stealthily, he went over and set off the trap. Within seconds Tamaki was up in the air, dangling by his ankle. This, however, would only last a few seconds as well. In the blink of an eye the rope holding Tamaki up gave way, sending him crashing head first into the floor. Although he was hard headed in personality, his head wasn't literally that hard. Since he was so high up he passed out almost directly after impact with the ground.

"Tama-chan!" Hunny cried, running over to him. Everyone was beat by Kyouya, however. Hikaru couldn't help but think he looked like a mother bear protecting its young.

"The hell'd you do?" Haruhi went over as well.

"Uh..we were playing a prank but uh.. I guess it didn't go that well.." Hikaru rubbed the back of his head.

"Just for the record, this was his idea," Kaoru pointed to his brother, and Hikaru glared at him.

"I don't care who did it," Kyoya replied. His composed tone scared everyone in the room more than how fast he gunned it over to Tamaki.

"H..How can we help?" Kaoru asked, having the urge to back up slightly incase Kyouya exploded.

"Call an ambulance instead of standing there like an idiot," he replied, and looked back to Tamaki.

"Do you think he'll be okay?" Haruhi asked him.

"He should be, but right now he's not," Kyouya replied, inspecting Tamaki, "That is, assuming there's nothing internally wrong with his brain."

"You mean that's not already there?" Haruhi smirked.

"Very funny," Kyouya, with the help of Mori, dragged him over to the couch until the ambulance came for him.

While everything went on around him, Tamaki was off in his own little world. He was just waking up, but not in real life. He was waking up in a different world, although he didn't realize it just yet. He yawned and sat up in his bed, everything still blurry. Even in the blurryness, however, something didn't seem quite right. Stretching, he rubbed his eyes in order to clear up his vision. This was definitely not his room. First off, it was small. To him it was the size of a closet, and for him that was a walk-in closet. The second was his bed, which to him seemed like a tiny mattress on four metal posts. He also noticed he didn't have a balcony, which was the end of the world. How was he supposed to greet the day without a balcony? Every day he would open up the doors of the balcony and glide out as the world greeted him and he greeted it. "This has to do with the twins prank..maybe this is a secret room in Haruhi's house!" Tamaki concluded, getting out of the bed. He was sad to see his slippers weren't there, God forbid he have to walk around barefoot.

There was one thing he could rely on to make him feel better, however. And that was looking at himself. Even though he had no idea where he was, he somehow knew where the washroom was. He made his way in and shut the door, looking into the mirror. he screamed a bit and started to run his fingers through his hair. His perfect hair was frizzy and sticking out everywhere. Even after he slept his hair was always perfect. "What the...my hair!" he cried, and suddenly he heard a voice from downstairs.

"Tamaki! Make sure you take out the garbage before you go to school!" the voice called, it sounded like his father. His father would never ask him to do such a thing. They had maids for that, right? ...right? Suddenly, he came to a conclusion about what was going on and screamed like he'd been shot.

"AAAAAAAAH! I'M A COMMONER!"

~END CHAPTER 1~