They're as different as night and day, yin and yang, hot and cold, left and right

Pairings: Hiruma x Mamori
Rating:
T, for... one use of the f-word?
Warnings: It's one big chunk of text. Um. Lack of usage of the enter key. And lack of full stops. And lack of proper punctuation usage. And lack of- AAGGHH! *buries self in hole*
Writer's note: This was a lot of fun, but I'm sure I've missed some points. That said, I think I let it go on for too long...?
Disclaimer: EyeShield 21 (c) Riichiro Inagaki

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She's a girl, he's a boy – they're on different planets to begin with.
She's the most admired person in Deimon High, he's mostly feared and disliked – they're on different planets when it comes to school, too. She's a sweet tooth, he chews sugarless gum – that sets them apart even more.

She's sweet-tempered and speaks pleasantly, he's foul-tempered and foul-mouthed; she praises people warmly, he kicks them; she has something of a fan club, he has a horde of slaves; she's a member of the disciplinary committee, he's always getting in trouble with that lot; she's not very good at art, he's probably a bit too good; she likes analog, he likes digital; she lives at home, he's blackmailed a business hotel; she's a peace-maker (most of the time, except when she's arguing with a certain someone), he's trigger-happy; she's got a broom, he's got firearms and a homicidal dog; she's frequently hit on, he's someone people would dearly like to hit; she's got her school textbooks, he only needs his Devil's Handbook; her grades are enviable (save her art grades), his grades are suspicious; she addresses people by their names, he has nicknames for everyone; she's not much of a gambler, he wins millions in Blackjack; her presence is filled with sparkles, his presence is announced by bats; she allows people peace of mind, he doesn't allow them any peace at all; she tells people outright, he keeps them guessing; she keeps things in control, he's out of control; she's a good role-model, he's a bad example; she rescues people from being bullied, he's one of the bullies; she's motherly, he's tyrannical; she's an all-round good girl, he's a bad boy to the core; she cares, he pretends not to; she's always reaching out to people, he's always holding people at arm's length; she's honest, he's a master of lying; she has a heart of gold, his heart is pure black (except in the eyes of a small minority); she asks, he blackmails; she smiles, he smirks; she's the angel, he's the devil; she's Mamo-kaasan, he's the Commander from Hell; she's 'Fucking Manager', he's 'Hiruma-kun'; she is Mamori Anezaki, he is Youichi Hiruma; she's his, and he's hers, because those two are just too damn perfect for each other.