Rescue Mission
They never gave up. Mist ninjas never do. They'd gotten untied easily enough (they hadn't given up on that either), and they'd followed the enemies and the bridgebuilder. The appearance of Zabuza and Haku had caused them to lie low. Those two were stronger than they were and would probably finish off the enemies—probably. They would also most definitely get mad if anyone tried to steal their kill. To the mist ninjas, teamwork only occurred in teams. Now, as they crept up to the small village, sure that their work had been done by now and that they could go home, they saw a completed bridge. The two shivered. Whoever had taken out Zabuza and Haku would be able to finish them off easily. But sometimes never giving up turns into never getting up. It couldn't be helped. That was their way of life.
"Let's start with the bridge," one of the Demon Brothers said.
*****
Rain drizzled down onto Konoha. The drops made little rain noises as they struck the trees, buildings, and, on rare occasions, people. Water slid down leaves, roofs, and, in a rather comical fashion, the noses of the Hokage faces on the mountain.
"I hate rain," remarked the current Hokage.
"Hm... I don't like being out in the rain," Iruka said, "but I suppose plants and trees need it to grow--our very village is named after--"
"I still don't like it," the Hokage said. "And trees are plants."
"Um, I know," Iruka said-- "What did I say?"
"Lord Hokage! Lord Hokage!" shouted a small voice at its loudest. "There's a lady here who needs help!" Iruka, the Third Lord, and the small line of ninjas signing up for missions turned to see Hinata run in, followed by a woman and a young boy. Hinata stopped a few feet into the door, realizing that she had become the center of attention.
"Um..." she said, blushing, and ran back out the door. The woman and the young boy approached the Hokage's desk.
"Lord Hokage," the woman said, bowing, "I am Tsunami, and this is my son Inari. Our small village has been attacked by two ninjas from Kirigakure--they destroyed part of our bridge, and they are trying to kill my father, a bridgebuilder--the whole village is in hiding, we don't know what to do, Inari and I are the only ones who escaped, we didn't dare seek help from Kirigakure--please help! We don't know what's wrong--why they attacked--please! Help us!"
"I'll do all I can," the Hokage said gravely. He turned to Iruka. "Get me Kakashi. He's on a mission with his team right now, but it's a simple one--they're just fixing a leaky roof. Take over for Kakashi, and make sure Naruto doesn't--"
"Um, Lord Hokage," Tsunami said, "I need to tell you--our village is very poor, and I can't pay very much at all--the ninjas who came earlier to escort Tazuna back home seemed rather upset that--"
"Iruka, don't go yet," the Hokage said. "Tazuna... the name seems vaguely familiar... Iruka, didn't a Tazuna request a mission recently?" Iruka consulted a stack of papers.
"He requested protection from robbers on his way home; mission; class C," Iruka said.
"Wait... who had that mission?" the Hokage asked. "Iruka, get me the report on that mission!"
Flip... Flip...
"Team 7 had that mission," Iruka said, "and I can't find the report. I believe it's late." The Hokage shook his head.
"That Kakashi... if he wasn't so darned good, he would've been run out of Konoha a long time ago..." the Hokage turned to Tsunami. "I'm sorry," he said, "but I don't think Kakashi would appreciate another class-A mission without pay. But don't worry, I'll find you another ninja who's the same rank as Kakashi--you won't be able to tell the difference, I promise." He turned to Iruka. "Check the volunteer jar—any jonins this week?"
Iruka looked through the names, frowning.
"No," he said, "mostly idealistic chunins." He passed his own name but didn't say anything.
"Hm..." the Hokage said. He looked down the line of ninjas waiting for missions. It was a small line because of the rain--he could see genins, chunins, and one jonin who came every day, rain or shine, looking for class-D missions because he'd lost an arm and couldn't handle anything else. In short, nobody who could take on something like this.
"Iruka," the Hokage said, "pull a name out of a secondary volunteer jar--one of the jonin ones." Iruka randomly pulled F-J out from under the desk and reached for a name.
"On a mission..." (another name)
"Ah, 'Hatake Kakashi,' what a coincidence!" (another name)
"Recuperating from a mission..." (another name)
"Hm... deceased..." (throw out; another name)
"Ah, here we go, 'Gekko Hayate.' I'll just check his file to make absolute sure he's suitable and we'll send him off!" Iruka dug through another stack of papers, pulled one out, and skimmed it.
"Good... good... --Um... hang on..." he and the Hokage started a whispered conversation. Inari clenched his mother's hand even more tightly than before. Tsunami stroked his hair worriedly.
"Yes, I know what you have to do to become a jonin... but... two class-B missions and only one class-A? That's hardly what I'd call experienced..."
"Iruka, you worry two much. Hayate is a swordfighting instructor down at the weapons academy in the basement of the tower in the Forest of Death--you know, the place where the second part of the Chunin Exam is held." Iruka shuddered. He did know. He still had no idea how he had even passed the chunin exam, but he had, and the Forest of Death still gave him nightmares.
"Since Hayate has a job," the Hokage continued, "he doesn't have to go on missions to make money. And since he has to go through the Forest of Death to get to work every day, I'd think he's experienced enough. And as for those three high-level missions... I can't recall any... well, many... of Hayate's reports being anything but exceptional."
"You're right," Iruka said. "Sorry about that," he told Tsunami, straightening. "I'm going to get Gekko Hayate, and he'll go to save your village!"
"Be sure to stop by team 7 first and make Kakashi give you his report," the Hokage said. "I'm sure Hayate can use the background information."
************
"Gaaaah! Naruto! You killed Sasuke!!!"
"N-no I didn't! I didn't! Look, he's still breathing!"
"What?! Really?! Oh, you had better be right!"
"Naruto!"
"Aaah!!! Master Kakashi... hi! Heh... heh heh..."
"Naruto, stop dropping the hammer."
"I didn't mean to! It's slippery in the rain, and—"
"Naruto, I'm going to come up there and—"
"Sasukeeee!!! You are alive!!!!!"
"Ah—oh, my head—get away from me!"
"Sakura, leave Sasuke alone. Sasuke, are you okay?"
"Yes."
"Here, let me see... Yes, Iruka?"
*************
The crocodile turned a beady eye on Princess Gale and advanced, its great maw opening wide.
"I really don't know why I love this movie so much," Yugao whispered to Hayate. "It's so cheesy... but so perfect!"
"I like how it takes itself so seriously," Hayate whispered back. "'There will be crocodiles'... I don't think anyone but Yuki could say that with a straight face, let alone with utmost conviction... here, I'll try it—'There Will Be Croc'—tsssse he he, sorry, 'There—'" Yugao started laughing. On the screen, a crocodile was devouring a minor character. Several people turned to stare angrily at the two.
"...Crocodilessss he he he, almost had it! I can't do it."
"I heard they're making a sequel," Yugao whispered when she'd finished laughing.
"Yeah, yeah," Hayate whispered, "you know a movie's good when there's a bad sequel coming out next summer."
"And it's never as good as the animé," Yugao whispered.
"There's an animé of Princess Gale?" Hayate whispered back. Yugao stared.
"Of course there is," she whispered, "I was sooo crazy about it when I was a teenager!!! What do you mean, 'There's an animé'?"
"Where do you want to go for dinner after the movie?" Hayate asked hurriedly.
"You seriously want to go out for dinner dressed up as characters from Princess Gale?" Yugao asked teasingly.
"No... I mean..." Hayate started.
"That was really cheesy," Yugao said, smiling. "But you know me--I can appreciate cheesy but perfect." They leaned forward.
"There you are!" said somebody. Hayate and Yugao looked up sharply. So did about ten other people. Iruka pushed his way past a few more people and stood next to Hayate, painfully aware that he was blocking the movie for somebody but blissfully ignorant of Yugao.
"Gekko Hayate?" Iruka asked, looking from Hayate to a piece of paper in his hand. "Your picture's kind of old, so—"
"That's me," Hayate said. And the picture's not old. I'm just dressed up as an animé character. Because it goes with my girlfriend's costume. Uh... yes?" Iruka looked just about ready to die of embarassment, so Hayate turned a sympathetic look to Yugao and walked Iruka to the lobby to see what he wanted. Yugao shrugged and waited. On the screen, the crocodiles were surrounding Princess Gale. How do they know she's the main character? Hayate had said the first time they'd seen the movie together. Yugao laughed silently. A crocodile lashed out, but Gale repelled it. Another one lashed out. Hey, why don't we all lash out together? Hayate had once said in what was supposed to be a crocodile voice. No, stupid, then we might actually win! This movie has forty minutes left--how are we supposed to entertain all of these people for FORTY minutes, hm? Yugao smiled to herself. Then frowned. What did Iruka want anyway? Iruka taught at the Ninja Academy—did Hayate have to give a talk at the school? Iruka also helped the Hokage hand out missions... but missions weren't handed out, they were signed up for. Maybe there was some crisis back at the village (Konoha really needed a movie theater--it was rather inconvenient to have to keep going to the Land of Fire all the time just to see new movies). But no, Iruka would have been a lot more flustered, and he wouldn't have left the village in the first place, he would have been protecting his students. Yugao had an unpleasant feeling that whatever it was would require Hayate to leave. That would really stink... she hoped not. Someone was coming down the aisle. Yugao breathed a sigh of relief. It was Hayate, and he had more popcorn. Must not have been important.
"Yugao," Hayate said, "I have to go, I'm sorry. There's some urgent business I have to attend to. I got you a refill on the—"
"Is Iruka still in the lobby?" Yugao asked angrily, getting up.
"Yes," Hayate said, "why--"
"You two are going to explain what's going on," Yugao said. "It's very rude of Iruka to disturb our movie like that." The two walked out of the theater. There was dead silence apart from the movie, then the sound of eighty-some people breathing a sigh of relief all at once.
*******************
"Wow... that's an amazing Princess Gale costume," Iruka said as Yugao walked into the lobby.
"Thanks," Yugao said shortly. "I started it when I was seventeen. Now, please explain."
"Explain wha—"
"Explain," Yugao repeated.
"Oh, that," Iruka said nervously. "Well, a poor village in the Land of the Waves is being attacked by two mist ninjas and nobody knows why. All Hayate has to do is go there and find out what's wrong, hopefully save the village, and hopefully not mess up our foreign relations."
"Why Hayate?" Yugao asked.
"Well," Iruka said slowly, "Hayate wasn't on a mission..."
"I noticed," Yugao growled. "How did you know where to find Hayate?"
"Lord Hokage told me," Iruka said.
"And how did he know?" Yugao asked.
"I... you know, I don't know," Iruka said, puzzled. "I'd never really thought about how he knows where people are... I'll have to ask him." In fact, the Hokage had found out easily with the help of his crystal ball, but that crystal ball was a closely guarded secret--if the public found out that their ruler could view them at any time, they probably wouldn't be too thrilled, and a too thrilled public is the key to a successful regime.
"Well, if that's all," Yugao said, too used to the village's bureaucratic tendencies to put up any more of a fight, "I'm going with Hayate—what do you know, I don't have a mission at the time either! You can put my name down on the file for the mission."
"Oh, you don't have to—" Iruka started.
"Look," Yugao said, "I actually put my name in the volunteer jar! Don't you tell me I can't help somebody!"
"You're... you're a chunin??" Iruka asked.
"No," Yugao said patiently, "I put my name in the volunteer jar when I was a chunin. Your system's just messed up."
"Thank you," Iruka said dryly. He was beginning to regain some of his composure now that the situation had turned from awkward to hostile.
"Do we have time to go back to the village to pack first?" Yugao asked.
"Well... do you really need to?" Iruka asked.
"I'm not getting my costume dirty," Yugao said.
"I don't want to do a mission dressed like an animé character," Hayate said through a mouthful of popcorn, "and I left my sword under my bed."
"We don't have any weapons of any sort, come to think of it," Yugao said.
"Okay, okay," Iruka said, "but you need to go quickly; every second counts!" They started to leave the lobby.
"Oh!" Iruka said, "I almost forgot—here, before we go outside in the rain, let me give you Kakashi's report on a recent mission to that area. You might find it helpful."
Hayate took it and looked it over.
"This is a toolbox instructions sheet," he said, frowning.
"No, the report's on the back," Iruka said. Hayate turned the paper over.
"This is really hard to read," he said as he skimmed the report.
"Kakashi was in a hurry," Iruka said.
"Now there's a first," Hayate said. When he finished reading, he pocketed the report, and they went outside. Yugao quickly undid part of her costume and bent over to shelter it from the rain. Hayate stopped, pulled a safety pin out of his costume, and poked it into his finger.
"I'll summon Etsuko," he said as his cloak slipped off his left shoulder. "She can get us back to the village in a hurry."
"Who's Etsuko?" Iruka asked as Hayate undid the rest of his cloak and gave it to Yugao to protect her costume.
"You'll see," Hayate said. Several handsigns later, a giant lizard materialized.
"Munchies?" she asked automatically.
"That's Etsuko," Hayate said, giving her the rest of the popcorn. "Hop on."
**************
Hayate's sword wasn't under his bed. A full ten minutes of searching was required to locate it innocently leaning upright in the small space between the desk and the wall. It was a wonder how something as large as a sword could be so hard to find... or maybe not, considering that the same went for the floor, which was bigger.
*************
Yugao stuffed the last box of pocky into her backpack. Normally, she left the last fill-in-the-blank for her younger sister because her younger sister got a bigger kick out of whatever it was than Yugao and because her mom would always side with her younger sister if the issue was raised, Yugao being a grown woman who knew better. But Yugao would quite possibly be gone for days: she knew that her mom always sided with her when she wasn't actually present, and she knew that, by the time she got back, the incident would be forgotten. There was only one apple left. Yugao took that too.
***************
"You're going to lose Mr. Frog," Hayate told Yugao, pointing to the frog pin she'd put on her green ninja vest.
"No I'm not," Yugao said protectively. "And 'Mr. Frog' is a girl."
"Uh-huh," Hayate said. He'd learned long ago that there was neither rhyme nor reason to the genders Yugao assigned to her various cute animal pins and keychains and that, if he hazarded a guess, he had a 75% chance of being wrong.
"I brought pocky!" Yugao said.
"Great!" Hayate said. Yugao's little sister would find no pocky in her lunch the next day.
"Munchies?" Etsuko asked. She knew what pocky was.
"We'll see," Hayate said.
"Okay!" Etsuko said. She still hadn't figured out that "We'll see" meant "Probably not." Hayate got on the huge lizard and reached a hand down to help Yugao.
"Thank you!" shouted somebody. They turned around. The teary-eyed woman and the waving kid coming toward them in the rain could only be Tsunami and Inari, of whom Iruka had told them.
"You're heroes!" yelled Inari.
"Thank you," Tsunami said again as she came up alongside Etsuko. "It really means the world to me."
"Uh, you're welcome," Hayate said uncomfortably. He really wasn't used to receiving such heartfelt praise or even being the center of attention. Maybe he ought to go on more missions.
"You're welcome," Yugao said. "We'll do all we can to save your father." Inari curiously poked Etsuko. The lizard turned her huge head to face him. He hid behind Tsunami.
"Good luck, Tsunami said, stepping back.
"Thank you," Yugao said. Hayate nudged Etsuko with his foot and they were off.
***********
It rained the whole way there. Sometime in that interval, darkness fell completely, but the rainclouds made it hard to tell exactly when. The box of pocky and its contents were soaked before Hayate and Yugao were half finished. Since neither pocky nor cardboard handle water well, the soggy pocky box was eventually offered to Etsuko. However, Etsuko's senses did not percieve the cardboard to be food. When it became apparent that she wouldn't eat the box, nobody wanted to dig out the wad of pocky-mush for her. Since Yugao didn't want to throw the box on the ground and they had nowhere else to put it, Hayate ended up holding it for the full three-hour trip.
***************
The rain stopped about ten minutes before they arrived and was replaced by a thick fog.
"I think I see the bridge up ahead," Yugao said. "It looks kind of spooky in the fog." The thick fog instantly became a thick, spooky fog. Nobody spoke as Etsuko trotted on. Plish, plish, plish, plish, plish, plish, plish, went the lizard's feet as she ambled along the wet ground. The sound of waves sliding up the beach was quietly getting louder every minute. Plish, plish, plish, plish...
"That is the bridge," Yugao whispered.
"You're right," Hayate whispered back. "I wonder how much it was damaged." He didn't have to ask why they were whispering.
"Hayate," Yugao whispered, "I'm scared. It's way too quiet."
Hayate reached back and held her hand. He searched his brain for something comforting to say, but nothing profound came to mind...
"Don't worry," he said eventually.
"Shhhhh!!!" Yugao hissed.
"Sorry!" Hayate whispered quickly. The suddenness and intensity of Yugao's reply had startled him, and he'd dropped the soggy pocky box... but he wasn't about to stop, get off the lizard, and pick it up. Nature dropped rain on him when he didn't want to be rained on all the time, so one little pocky box was, if anything, long overdue.
Plish, plish, plish, plish, plish... The bridge got closer and closer. Hayate didn't let go of Yugao's hand.
Plish, plish, plish, plish.... pad, pad, pad, pad... they had reached the bridge.
Etsuko stopped when she reached the middle, and for good reason: a large chunk had been taken out of it, splitting the bridge completely in half.
Etsuko backed up.
"Don't scream," Hayate whispered to Yugao. "She's going to jump it."
"What do you mean, 'don't scream?!'" Yugao whispered, flustered. "How can I help—Eeep!"
Pad, pad, pad, pad, pad... Hayate stopped Etsuko as she reached the end of the bridge.
The three stared into the quiet village. It appeared to be deserted.
"We should probably split up now," Hayate said. "Etsuko can stay here as our backup plan. Yugao, put on your radio headset and let me know if you find anything or if you're in trouble. I'm heading to Tazuna's house, and you can check the town to see what's what."
"Okay," Yugao said nervously. "Be careful."
"I will," Hayate said.
After a quick just-in-case-you-die kiss, they dashed off into the night like... well, rather like ninjas in the night.
***********
Silence. It was thicker than the fog as Hayate ran over the soggy ground. What would be waiting for him at the bridgebuilder's house? Where were his opponents? According to Kakashi's report, they could hide in small puddles... after the rain, there were small puddles everywhere. But no mysterious shapes rose out of them. There was no sign of life at all. It was like going into a haunted house and finding only darkness and old furniture... and it didn't help matters when Hayate's imagination started viewing every noise and shadow in terms of enemy ninjas.
After about ten minutes of running past empty puddles and the shadows of trees, Hayate finally came upon a deathly quiet house. The address was the same as the one from Kakashi's report: Tazuna's. Hayate frowned. It was probably a bad sign that the door was wide open... he ran in and looked around.
Nobody was there. Not on the ground level... not upstairs...
"Yugao," he whispered into the headset, "I'm in the house. There's nobody. What have you found?"
"Nobody in the rest of the village," Yugao whispered. "The whole place seems deserted. Do you think the villagers are hiding somewhere? I don't see any bodies..."
"I sincerely hope so," Hayate whispered. "I'm going to come join you so we can search for—hang on, there's someone outside. I'll get back to you later." He'd been looking out the window for the whole conversation, and he'd seen one—or was it two—meerest hints of shapes in the fog. Ninjas. Hayate felt stupid. They'd most likely seen him; after all, he'd been standing right in front of the window. And the front door was wide open too—they could just slip right in without making a sound. Well, they were expecting him to be in front of the window... he created a shadow doppelganger and switched places with it. Now it was in front of the window in full view and he was in the shadows. He waited.
... ... ... ...
Was that a noise downstairs?
... ... ... ... ... ...
That was definitely a noise
... ... ... ...
Hayate hooked a finger around the cold metal ring of a kunai knife as he listened to multiple ninjas climb the creaky stairs without making a sound.
Swoosh. A shadowy figure leapt in the doorway and flung a knife at his doppelganger. Hayate flung his knife at the figure. The enemy's knife thudded into the back of the doppelganger's head. The doppelganger disappeared in a swirl of white smoke. Hayate's knife thudded into the enemy's arm. The ninja yelped in pain and flung a knife at the real Hayate. Hayate knocked it out of the air with another knife. Another enemy leapt over the first and held its hand out, palm outward. Hayate was enveloped in a huge mass of sand. A little moonlight quietly penetrated the fog and glinted on Hayate's headband as he was lifted into the air, immobilized. Sand...?! But it didn't matter--Hayate was completely helpless, and, to a ninja, that meant finished. He closed his eyes.
"It's over," he told Yugao quietly over the headset. "I love you." The sand stopped moving. The second enemy stared.
"What did you say?" the enemy asked. Hayate's eyes snapped open, and he gave the kid a malevolent 'I didn't know it was Inconsiderate Day' glare. Wait. Kid?! The mist ninjas weren't kids...
"Gaara!" shouted an adult voice. "Stop! He's not from Kiri—he's from Konoha!"
"Oh, Hayate, what's wrong, are you going to die, speak to me, ohhh, Hayateeee.....!!" cried Yugao into the headset.
An adult ninja walked into the room and bent down by the kid called Gaara in what might have been supposed to be a friendly manner. His headband was on his forehead, identifying the group as one from Suna.
"Gaara," the teacher (what else could he be?) said coaxingly, "can you hold off on killing this guy for a minute? He's from Konoha. That village is friends with Suna, remember? You're going there to take the chunin exam."
Gaara turned to face his teacher. The teacher gave him a significant look. Gaara glared back, but, to Hayate's immense relief, the kid said "whatever" and looked at the floor. But he didn't quite let Hayate go... the teacher straightened and turned to Hayate.
"Hello," he said. "I am Baki of Suna, and my pupils and I are on a mission in this area. I am terribly sorry you were attacked. We thought you were someone else. Might I inquire as to your purpose here?"
"Urrm... Baki-san," Hayate said nervously, "Gaara isn't going to... he won't really...?" Yugao's frantic questions had become incoherent by now.
"I hope not," Baki said confidently.
"Oh, that's good," Hayate said uncertainly. "I am Gekko Hayate of Konoha, and I am also on a mission to this area. I thought you were someone else—sorry about the knife—is, um, whoever I hit okay?"
The phrase 'Is whoever I hit okay?' was not one often used among ninjas, but Hayate figured that, in a situation like this, too polite was better than not polite enough. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he was wondering why in the world Baki was being so polite and why was Konoha so special all of a sudden, but that was really the least of his worries at the moment.
"How's Temari, Kankuro?" Baki asked his third student.
"She's--" began Kankuro.
"I'm just fine," growled a girl's voice. "Honestly, it's just one knife to a non-vital area. I'm not a priceless vase or something."
"She's
just fine, thanks for asking," Baki said. "Might I
ask why you didn't aim for a vital area?"
"I did," Hayate said nervously, "but she'd just thrown
a knife, and her arm was blocking.. um, have I told you you've really
got a talented bunch?"
"No," Baki said, "but thank you. And they're not quite exceptional... they're still genins, after all..." he turned to the kids, his expression hardening. "Can any of you tell me how Hayate-san knew that you were coming?" Temari and Kankuro looked at the ground. Gaara scowled at Hayate, his appreciation of Baki's reminder quite obvious.
"I'm ashamed of all of you," Baki said. "We should have found out he was a Konohan when we turned him over, not like this! You could be the most powerful ninja there was, but it wouldn't amount to a thing if you don't have good stealth!"
Hayate tried not to look at Gaara, but the sand wouldn't let him turn his head. The sand was also too tightly packed for a nervous gulp, so he was left with drooling pathetically.
"What mission are you here for?" Baki asked Hayate, almost conversationally. Hayate told him.
"Interesting," Baki said, surprised. "We're here for the same mission. A resident in this village has connections in Suna and radioed our village asking for help, and I thought I'd give my students a little more practice before the chunin exam. Now... how many other party members do you have? I see they've had the sense to stay hidden after hearing your side of the conversation." So Baki had seen the radio headset.
"Just one," Hayate said, "and also a summoned creature."
"Okay," Baki said, "tell the ninja to come up here so we can talk over our next move—you'd like to work together, yes?"
"Of course," Hayate said. The assembled ninjas were from different villages and naturally wanted to keep all foreigners in plain sight.
"Good," Baki said. "Gaara! Let Hayate-san down. I believe he is our friend."
Gaara glared at the universe in general and lowered his hand. The sand hissed back into his gourd, and Hayate fell to the ground, landing on his feet. Ninjas always land on their feet.
"Thank you," Hayate told Gaara. Politeness never killed anybody, but Gaara obviously could.
"Yugao," he said into the headset, "there are some ninjas here from Suna, and they've offered to merge groups because they have the same mission. Could you come up to Tazuna's house? ... ... ... No, I am seriously not at knifepoint. You know I value your life over mine. ... ... ... Nobody's at knifepoint! ... ... ... Okay, you too. Hey, I'm fine!" Baki seemed to be looking at him funny.
"You and her married or going out?" Temari asked bluntly. Hayate opened his mouth and shut it again. He didn't have any defenses for this kind of attack. He turned to Baki. Baki was looking the other way with a "whose student said that?" expression. Suddenly, Yugao was in the room. She stood next to Hayate and introduced herself. Baki introduced himself and his team.
"Now," he told the kids, "did you hear a thing? That was a perfect example of what I was talking about."
"Yes, Sensei," chorused Temari and Kankuro.
"Whatever," said Gaara.
"What?" Yugao asked, confused.
"Sensei thinks we could've killed your boyfriend if we'd been quieter," Temari said airily.
"Do I detect a hint of jealousy?" Yugao asked sweetly without skipping a beat.
"Not at all," Temari said calmly. "I'm never going to get married. I'm going to become a legend all by myself. Who needs men to--Eeee! Where did you get that???" Temari had seen the frog pin.
"Birthday present," Yugao said, grinning.
"She's so cuute!" Temari said. Hayate's mouth twitched.
"Are you two going to spend all day squealing over a stupid frog?" Gaara asked.
"So, what's our plan of action?" Hayate said loudly before Yugao could say anything. He didn't want her to get Gaara mad.
"We need to trade information first," Baki said. "My team and I got here about fifty minutes ago, but we haven't found the enemies yet, and none of the civilians know where they are. Do you..."
Hayate shook his head. "We just got here," he said.
"I thought so," Baki said.
"Wait," Yugao said, "You've talked to civilians? Where did you find them?"
"In the storm cellars," Baki said.
It made sense. Everyone in an island village would need somewhere to go when the inevitable storms came. Where else would be safer against invading ninjas?
"Now," Baki said, "Do you have anything?" Hayate nodded.
"This," he said, handing Baki Kakashi's report.
"Contents: two hammers..." began Baki.
"Other side," said Hayate.
"What? Oh, I see. Why—"
"Don't look at me, I didn't write it."
"This is really hard to read."
"Tell me about it."
They waited while Baki skimmed the paper.
"This is helpful," Baki said at last. "It explains the damage to the bridge and why you were poking around this house. So all our opponents wanted was to make the bridge unusable and to kill the bridgebuilder... I hate to say it, but, since one civilian can't last against two ninjas for very long and since the town is so empty and quiet, I think our work here is done. We'll just write a sympathy card for Tsunami and—"
"Wait just a minute," Yugao said angrily. "I can see that Tazuna's probably dead, but we can't give up until we're sure! Shame on you!"
"And how could he possibly have survived?" Baki asked.
"Well...I don't know," Yugao said, "but...if he did die, ninjas wouldn't stop to bury him, right? So we would have found him in the house if he was dead."
"No, we would have found him in the storm cellar," Gaara said, exasperated at having to point out the painfully obvious. There was silence.
"We didn't check the storm cellar yet," Hayate said.
"Okaaay, let's check the storm cellar," Baki said. "You might want to stay up here if you don't like gory stuff."
"You might want to stay up here if you don't want to be proven wr--"
"Hey!" Hayate said. "We'll see when we get there!"
They all trooped down the stairs and out of the house. The storm cellar was back on land.
"The trap door's wide open," Baki said.
"The padlock isn't broken," Yugao said.
"Let's go down," Hayate said.
The door had apparently been open for a rather long time because there was water all over the place from the rain. It was pitch dark and dead quiet. Somebody found a light switch, and everybody could see that nobody was there.
"So what do we do now?" Kankuro asked. "Is the bridgebuilder dead or alive?"
"Maybe we could look around the village," Hayate said. "If he's dead, he wouldn't have been able to go very far before the ninjas got him."
"Wait," Temari said, "look. There's a note tacked to the wall."
They all crowded around the hastily scribbled message. It read:
Dear Tsunami,
I cannot stay here while ninjas destroy my village looking for me. I am making for Konoha to lead them away. I hope I get there before they catch me. I hope you are alive and well. Perhaps I will be also. In any case, I hope Inari can see a hero in his grandfather too.
With love,
Father
"Let's check outside," Baki said.
"How would he get to Konoha?" Kankuro said. "Konoha is miles away... and this is an island. Think he can swim?"
"Probably used a boat," Hayate said. The sand ninjas were obviously not very accustomed to large bodies of water. How would they have gotten to the island in the first place if there hadn't been a mostly-intact bridge...?
"But mist ninjas could take a boat easy," Temari said. "They'd just have to rise up out of the water and, bam! Mission accomplished! Why would the bridgebuilder even try?"
They walked back up the stairs and out of the storm cellar. Maybe Baki was right and they were overthinking it... but something just felt out of place, and a ninja should never ignore something that feels out of place.
"Look, there's a boat," Baki said, pointing to one tied to the pier. "Since the mist ninjas are back in Kiri celebrating their victory, we can safely go out on the ocean to find out where the bridgebuilder's floating so we can go home."
Hayate looked at the boat... and he looked closer. It was a motorboat. Something wasn't right... but what? Of course... there was a big dent in the motor, as if someone had taken a hammer to it. Why? He looked closer. At the pier, there was space for more boats, and two empty ropes were dangling into the ocean. He walked closer.
"I was seriously joking," Baki said dryly. Hayate pulled one of the ropes out of the water. It was very short. Someone had cut it. Hayate took a deep breath.
"Tazuna made it to a motorboat and sabotaged the other ones so the mist ninjas couldn't follow him with one, and he was so far and going so fast by the time they got to the pier that they knew that they didn't have enough chakra to catch him and finish him off so they followed him in one of the remaining boats and they're going to kill him the moment he runs out of fuel and they catch up," he said. The others stared at him.
"How did you do that?" Kankuro asked.
"Well, I just looked around and thought about it..." Hayate said evasively. He wasn't about to admit that he watched Death Note every... Oh. That was today. Ending about twenty minutes ago. Wonderful.
"I think you're right about what happened," Baki said after mulling it over, "but I still think we should call it quits, this time in the interest of not throwing our lives away on a whim. Do you seriously think it's wise to pursue them on the off chance that Tazuna will be still alive by the time we get there? The ocean is their element. Their attacks are all water-based. Do you really want to follow them into the largest-known body of water in existence?"
The waves sloshing gently against the peer suddenly sounded ominous. The foggy sea stretched on for what seemed like forever. The three genins stared gravely out on the water. It was, like as not, their first time by the sea, maybe Baki's too. The combination of the mist ninjas' experience and the wind ninjas' inexperience could prove deadly. And yet...
"Baki," Hayate said suddenly, "the ocean may be their element, but that doesn't mean it can't be our element too. Think--what's under the ocean?"
Baki looked confused. "Um... fish," he said finally.
"No," Hayate said, "under the fish. Sand."
Gaara's head shot up.
*****************
The boat skimmed across the ocean. Temari's huge fan was open and positioned in the middle of the boat, Baki behind it supplying a strong breeze. Wind was elementary for a wind ninja to summon, and Yugao had given Baki one of the military rations pellets she'd thought to bring, so the system worked well. Hayate and Yugao were in the stern, and Gaara was in the prow—the Konohans weren't about to let a giant fan block the Sunans from their sight. The tension had slackened, but it was still there. Kankuro and Etsuko were back in the village just in case the mist ninjas came back.
An hour passed. Gaara's sand eye, yards in front of the boat, guided them through the fog. Another hour passed. The moon became visible for a short while then hid again... waves lapped against the side of the boat...but no dark shapes rose up. Everything was quiet. The boat moved on. Baki was watching Hayate, who appeared to be asleep. He probably wasn't really asleep but only pretending so he could better observe Baki and Temari. Baki did not miss the three fingers curled loosely around the handle of a kunai knife. Here was truly a ninja in his element—trying to stay one step ahead of every threat, ready to plunge a sharp object into anything that looked ready to do the same to him. It was a harsh, cruel life, but it was the way of a ninja. Baki only wished he'd thought to pretend to be asleep first. As Baki stared coldly at Hayate, Yugao regarded her love with the kind of "aaaww, it's sleeping" look most people reserved for cats. She reached down and stroked his hair.
"Gaahh! Whut—whazgoingon?!" Hayate sqwawked. His eyes snapped open; he sat bolt upright, pulled out the kunai knife, dropped it, and looked around wildly.
"Shh, nothing, Silly," Yugao said, laughing. "You were sleeping."
"Aww, you should have woken me earlier," Hayate mumbled, wiping his mouth to remove the drool Baki had failed to notice before. "What time is it? How long was I sleeping?"
"A long time," Baki growled.
"I'm really sorry about that," Hayate said. "I summoned the lizard before I came, I've been up all night..."
Gaara listened through the fan. What idiots. HE never slept. ... ... ...
Wait. What was that? The sand eye moved closer to the floating object up ahead. It was a boat. An empty boat. Gaara suddenly realized how much noise the others had been making.
"Sensei, there's—" he began. Dark shapes rose out of the water.
"We're under attack!"
**************
The group behind the fan had seen the shapes out of the corners of their eyes an instant before Gaara's warning. Hayate had his sword out, Temari was holding her fan in a more "ready for action" position, and Yugao was holding a kunai knife in each hand. Baki didn't get anything out, but he had a scary "bring it" look.
A mist ninja flipped over the boat—every ear could hear the zak-zak-zak-zak-zak-zak-zak of the barbed chain that followed him. According to Kakashi's report, a student had broken the chain, but it seemed they'd had a spare.
Yugao threw a knife at the other one, but it clanged off of his headband. He was sinking into the water. Their plan was slowly becoming apparent: one ninja flips over the boat and swims under it, the other one swims under from the opposite direction, and then they retract the chain and rip the boat in half. Temari had other ideas. Her fan shot out and caught the jumping ninja mid-leap before he hit the water. With an evil grin for such a young girl, she propped the fan on the edge of the boat and let Baki stomp on it. The lever worked perfectly. They could hear a muffled "aieee!!!" as the mist ninja went flying back, trailing the chain behind him. Hayate impulsively shot his sword into the chain, and, with perfect accordance with the laws of physics, the attached ninja swung down and slammed into the side of the boat. Hayate disentangled his sword as the other ninja rose up on the other side of the boat. Then—swoosh!—the whole world dropped fifteen feet. The sand Gaara had summoned had finally arrived, and it now held the boat high above the water in a giant hand. The mist ninjas, previously in the water on both sides of the boat, chain underneath, now dangled on both sides of the hand. But they did not stay trapped for long. The ninja who hadn't hit the boat and had more of his wits about him disconnected the chain from his claw and fell into the water with a splash. The weight of his companion was no longer balanced, and the second ninja fell too, only more slowly as the deadly chain zakked after him, ripping a hole in the bottom of the boat. A smaller sand hand came out of the bigger one (the boat dropped a few feet) and grabbed the second mist ninja, but he was collected enough to turn into water and slip through the grainy fingers. There was silence for a moment, then the Konohans and Sunans could see the Kirians' boat shoot off into the darkness after Tazuna. Gaara growled and gave chase.
"This isn't going to last," Baki said after a while.
"Why not?" Yugao asked.
"The sand is very wet," Baki said gravely. "The water makes it really heavy and hard for Gaara to manipulate. If he runs out of chakra while we're at sea, we'll sink because of the hole in the boat. I hate to say it, but I think it would be wise to start looking for an island." Hayate's eyes narrowed. The reasoning was logical… but why was Baki always holding back so much? The Sunan obviously had something on his mind that was more important to him than the mission at hand. He didn't know what it was, but he did know that Tsunami and Inari were counting on them, and unless Baki sat him down and explained himself, the Sunan wasn't going to stand between Hayate and his job.
"Creep One and Creep Two have a boat," he said, guarded resentment creeping into his voice. "If you don't mind, I'm gonna go get it."
**********
The art of substitution was a basic move, but it was quite formidable if you knew what to do with it. The two mist ninjas found that out when the boat they were pushing was suddenly transported to their pursuers and replaced by a satisfied Hayate. But the two were not interested in finding out what their enemy planned to leave them with to get back. A clawed hand, lightning-fast, shot out of the water and yanked Hayate under by the vest. Yugao screamed as he hit the water with a splash. All that was visible now were the bottoms of his sandals where there was still concentrated chakra... then, after jerking around a little, they disappeared as well.
"Idiot," said Gaara.
Yugao punched a wall of sand in front of Gaara's face. Gaara looked surprised. So did Baki and Temari. There was an unpleasant silence. Yugao looked from one Sunan to another, tears welling up in her eyes.
"Do you have no concept of love?" she asked Gaara with a barely-contained fury, then abruptly turned her back on his confusion, pulling out her ANBU sword and jumping out of the boat. She never hit the water. A sand hand had her firmly about the middle. She began to flail and scream but suddenly stopped. A huge mass of sand was rising out of the water in front of her, Hayate's head just visible near the top. The mist ninjas were near the bottom, one caught by the claw, the other dangling by the chain. They quickly turned into water and fell back into the sea, but Hayate was deposited safely into the boat he had gotten. Yugao was carried there as well. She ran to Hayate the minute Gaara released her. When it was clear that he was alive and more or less okay and that the mist ninjas weren't going to attempt retaliation quite yet, she turned to Gaara. He was watching them with intense curiosity but abruptly looked away when he caught Yugao's look of intense gratitude.
"Idiot," he said again quietly.
"You... you... thank you...!" Yugao said.
"True that," Hayate said appreciatively, shivering and coughing up water. "Thanks!"
Appreciation.
Gaara's next expression was not that of one who has just been told that Santa Claus is not real. It was that of one who's just caught Santa Claus in their living room and heard him say "So, I hear folks around here think I'm not real..." Gaara opened his mouth to say something, but Yugao had already turned back to fussing over Hayate. The genin's expression hardened. Make a big fuss when he actually used his power to save someone's life then leave him in the cold. The world was full of idiots that loved other idiots, and not one of them could find it in them to notice how terribly alone he was. But his defenses against that loneliness…he'd built them up until they were as strong as his defenses against everything else. Why had he gone and done that? Partly out of curiosity... and partly because he'd thought that maybe, just maybe, he could have a piece of that love the idiots played with if he did something good for them. But the piece he had gotten was small and hollow, barely a piece at all.
Do YOU have any concept of love? he asked Yugao mentally. Love... don't tell ME about love. And if you hit me one more time, I'm going to kill you.
Baki was debating whether or not to scold Gaara…after all, he'd just ruined a perfect opportunity to blamelessly be rid of one, maybe both Konohans and maybe one, possibly both Kirians as well. But Gaara had that look again—the strange, inhuman look of one who's decided that their race is worthless and has to go. That look was one of the few things that Baki could honestly say scared him. Better not... maybe later. Meanwhile, Hayate was painedly groping at his middle. Yugao just about died when she found the long, cruel chain wrapped around him multiple times, almost completely buried in his vest from the pressure of the sand. Gaara did not see Yugao's second eternally grateful look or all of the love it contained. He had already looked away, his mind made up.
"Think they have a third (ow) chain?" Hayate asked as he and Yugao carefully pulled up the second one.
"I wouldn't think so," Yugao said, her voice shaky. "This thing's really big and probably hard to carry. But you never know... Oh! Did their claws get you? The report said that the claws were poisonous."
"N--(ow)," Hayate said. "I think they were more interested in killing me than poisoning me."
"This vest is a wreck," Yugao said after a while. "It would still look bad if I sewed it up. I think you need a new one."
"Oh, joy," Hayate said.
"You go through these (oh! sorry, you okay?) things pretty fast," Yugao said. "Remember when there was that barbed wire fence and you—"
"Yes," Hayate said quickly, "vividly." He didn't think that the Sunans needed to hear that story despite Temari's obvious interest.
"Look," Hayate said later as Yugao freed a portion of chain from his shoulder. "(ow) Right there would have Mrs. Frog if they'd gotten you."
"Hoppy-chan is my special missions buddy," Yugao said sternly. The frog had a name too?? Hayate felt betrayed by the universe.
"Please, not the frog again," Baki said quickly. Gaara's expression had worsened the second the miserable amphibian had been brought up.
"Why not?" Hayate asked cautiously. There was an urgency in Baki's voice that didn't seem necessary. But it was necessary, and what Yugao said next, against Baki's unspoken warning, would change the course of the whole mission.
"But I wuv my frog," she said.
Dead silence.
"It's a frog, Mother," said a terrible voice. It sounded like a deeper, twisted version of Gaara's normal voice. "It's not even a frog, Mother. It's a piece of metal with a picture of a frog on it. Why? Why does she love it? I don't know. Should I kill them? I should kill them. Yes, kill them, for you, Mother..." Baki's face drained of color. If the Konohans saw Gaara's true self before the chunin exam... The brown-haired, suspicious one was already staring... Was there a way to inconspicuously be rid of them?... then he heard Temari's voice, and with it he felt a ray of pure hope.
"Your beau's shivering," Temari told Yugao in a calm, this-happens-to-Gaara-all-of-the-time-so-let's-look-over-here-now voice, one that conveyed the opposite of her true feelings.
"What?" Yugao asked, looking at Hayate.
"Only a little," Hayate said, shivering. Baki watched, hardly daring to hope that Temari's plan would work. Gaara was now giving Mother a very poetic description of blood.
Baki shouldn't have worried.
"Ohmigoodness, you're right," Yugao squeaked. "He got pulled underwater, and it's all cold and foggy out; I didn't think about that!!"
"What's Gaara doing?" Hayate asked, trying not to shiver and failing.
"When I say my brother is completely out of his mind, I'm seriously not joking," Temari said, laughing it off.
"Oh, Hayate, you look terrible," Yugao said worriedly.
"...all for you, Mother. The blood is all for you..."
"Something's—(cough)—wrong with Gaara," Hayate said, trying to see past Temari.
"Ooh, something's wrong with you," Temari said, clucking disapprovingly. "You don't sound so good, and Yugao's right—you look terrible!"
Baki watched in amazement as Yugao lost any interest she might have had in Gaara and fussed over Hayate, effectively stifling his growing interest in Gaara. Temari had practically saved Suna.
"Yugao, I'm fine, really—"
Temari slipped away, her work done for the moment, and turned a frightened face to Baki. After a hurried conversation, Temari went back to the Konohans.
"Look," she said, "There's no way your friend's going to dry off in this fog. There's an island over there. Since the mist ninjas don't have a chain anymore, they're not as formidable, and we'd still outnumber them if you two went to the island and made a fire. We could borrow a radio headset so you can contact us if you need something."
"Wha—no," Hayate said, trembling violently in the stiflingly cold fog. "I'm not going to die or anything, and we need to—(cough, cough, cough, HACK...)" It was settled then.
*******************************
"You know we're never going to get back," Hayate said sourly. He looked truly miserable sitting hunched on the beach as Yugao searched for wood that was at least reasonably dry. His wet vest hung in wet, bloodstained ribbons from the Kirians' chain, and he shivered every time the faint wind picked up.
"N-no, I gave them your radio headset," Yugao said. "Once they've found Tazuna, they'll let us know and pick us up."
"And sweet little Temari isn't going to—(cough, cough)—accidentally drop it into the ocean,?"
"Hey," Yugao said, "if they'd wanted to kill us, they wouldn't have pulled you out of the water or stopped me from rescuing you."
"And if they weren't hiding something," Hayate glowered, shivering, "they wouldn't have dumped us on this island. Baki's got something on his mind that he doesn't want us to know about, Yugao. I highly doubt they're going to look for Tazuna. If Gaara hadn't seemed so creepy mad at you all of a sudden, I never would have allowed this."
"Look, I care about you, okay?" Yugao said angrily. Hayate sighed.
"Alright, fair enough," he said. "We're still alive, I guess. (cough, cough, cough)"
"Right," Yugao said. "And you're not looking for Tazuna sounding like that."
"If you say so. We can't now, anyway."
"They probably have everything under control," Yugao said firmly. "Now, help me get this fire going, and get into your change of clothes before you freeze to death."
********************
"Temari, shove that thing in your backpack! They might be listening," Baki said, waving a worn teddy bear in front of the half-Gaara, half-creature thing in the front of the boat.
"Already did," Temari panted from behind her fan that blocked Gaara from view. "Gaara," she called soothingly, "it's me, Temari! How's Mom?"
Their attempts at pacifying the creature back into Gaara were slowly working. A good thing, too—the boat certainly couldn't handle Ichibi's full weight.
"The bear is scared, Gaara," Temari continued. "It doesn't like it when you get all scary! Let's calm down and make teddy happy!...."
About ten minutes later, Gaara was back.
"Put that bear back in with my stuff right now," he growled angrily.
Baki almost dropped it in his hurry.
"Let's get on with this stupid mission," Gaara continued. "I want to get my hands on a pair of idiots I can actually kill." He turned around and stared silently ahead into the fog. It was silly to try to understand the world. Once you had a working strategy, it was better to try to survive and leave understanding to people who would actually like what they found out. As Gaara bitterly watched the waves, Baki adoringly (for Baki) watched Temari.
"Temari, you little genius," he said affectionately, ruffling her hair. "You saved us." How quick she was... how deadly to anything she didn't want in her way...
"Cool," Temari said, reaching up and patting Baki's hand. "You're a teacher and you're playing with my hair. My parents wouldn't like this! If they find out, that is. Now I can have you fired whenever I want. Say, I have an idea! We could stop for ice cream before we reach Konoha! How 'bout that, Sensei?"
Sharp as a double-edged sword...
*********************
"So how'd you get that scar on your back?" Yugao asked Hayate as they sat by the fire.
"Lack of privacy," he said without skipping a beat.
"You cough like that, I look up automatically," Yugao said defensively. "I can't help it!"
Hayate grinned. "Chunin exam," he said, coughing. "Forest of Death. My team was really unlucky—first, we could only seem to run into people who had earth scrolls, then, when we'd accumulated four and were beginning to think—(cough, cough, cough)—we'd never get a heaven scroll, we were attacked by a bunch of teams who only had heaven scrolls."
"Oh my," Yugao said.
"Yeah, I know," Hayate replied. "If we hadn't lost most of them by accidentally straying into a fire and colony, we—(cough)—would have dropped out for sure. I think that when my team eventually made it to the center tower, we had two heaven scrolls and one earth scroll."
"Crazy," Yugao said. "When my team did the chunin exam, they stopped the scroll battle halfway through and made us do something else because some smart alec had been caught smuggling in a bunch of fake, lookalike scrolls."
"Must've been Idiot Mizuki," Hayate said wryly. "He was on my team, but he lost miserably in the third round and had to take the exam again. He kept telling us—(cough, cough)—that he had a master plan for making the Forest of Death 100 times easier."
"Idiot Mizuki?" Yugao asked.
"Back then, everybody—(COUGH)—called him that behind his back," Hayate said. "He wasn't stupid, but he was mean and obnoxious. Last I heard of him was in the news a while ago when he got put in prison. It really doesn't surprise me."
"What a shame," Yugao mused. She got up, put another piece of wood on the fire, and sat back down.
"You seem to be limping a little," Hayate said. "You okay?"
"What? Oh! Yes! Just fine!" Yugao said. "I just still have shin splits from the ANBU Movie Event, that's all."
"Movie Event? Why would..." Hayate began.
"It's really hard to explain," Yugao said, grinning to herself. "But I will say that ANBU is a really awesome organization. Why aren't you a member? You're certainly good enough..."
"Because ANBU is an elitist cult," Hayate said dismissively, "and every member is crazy except for the ones who survive past about 32, and they're battle-scarred and serious. Oh, I almost forgot the hotsnot kids like Uchiha Itachi—(cough)—who don't fit in with the grown ups and plot to destroy the world during lunch breaks. I don't want to go back into a clique-y, ninja-academy-like environment, and I don't know how you've managed to stay so sane in one."
"Oh, Hayate," Yugao scolded, "I am too crazy! And we're ninjas. It's not as if we're likely to survive past 32. Can't we be crazy while we have time?"
"Don't talk like that," Hayate said. "If I have anything to say about it, you'll live to be 100. And—(cough, cough)—your kind of crazy is okay because you haven't lost your mind."
"I still think you should join," Yugao said. "You're really missing out."
"Sorry, not my niche," Hayate said. "And you don't have to be L to notice how frequently ANBU people turn up in the obituaries... in fact, it kind of worries me that you—"
"Oh! We missed Death Note!"
"Yeah, I know. You should ask Anko what happened this week and fill me in," Hayate said.
"I still can't believe you're rooting for Light," Yugao said disapprovingly.
"Well, it's not like I can root for L," Hayate said darkly.
"Hayate. L is a fictional character. As in he doesn't exist. And I don't like him anywhere near as much as I like you," Yugao said. "We've been over this."
"L needs to shave his head," Hayate said. Combine the saucer eyes and bad posture with a shaved head and you got something that looked like Gollum, and Gollum never threatened anybody.
"Eeek, no! No... now I've got that image stuck in my head! I hope you're happy," Yugao said.
She looked so pouty and defiant that Hayate started laughing. Yugao laughed too. L was forgotten as they laughed together under the invisible stars—as Hayate broke off coughing, as Yugao thumped him on the back and nearly knocked him over, as they laughed again over that.
"I wonder if the others have found Tazuna yet," Yugao said eventually, playing idly with Hayate's hair. "I feel kind of mean enjoying myself if he's either dead or alone and scared in the middle of the ocean."
"I'd suggest radioing them in, but I don't think they'd appreciate it," Hayate said. "They're not exactly used to boats, and the mist ninjas could attack at any time. I sure hope that Tazuna is—hey, no braiding, okay?"
"You know I know better," Yugao said, sounding the slightest bit hurt.
"You didn't last time," Hayate said, grinning.
"Well, I definitely know now," Yugao said. There was silence.
"What were we talking about?" Hayate asked.
"Umm.... something important... Tazuna!"
"That was it. Right. I don't think we can really do anything."
They both tensed.
A presence.
Something.
A millisecond later, they could hear the footsteps. Someone was crashing about farther back in the woods, coming towards them. Whoever it was wasn't a ninja because a ninja wouldn't make that much noise, but the Konohans were still on the alert when a figure finally came free of the greenery. It saw them, stopped, then kept coming.
"Allllright, ninjas, I'm just about fed up. With you two," said none other than Tazuna. His voice was slurred, and he had an empty sake bottle in one hand. "See, this is an ambush for you," Tazuna growled. "I ain't going to, to sit and hide anymore. See, I'm armed!" He waved the bottle around in what was supposed to be a threatening manner.
"We're not—(cough)—the ninjas who were chasing you, we're friends," Hayate said slowly, as if he were addressing a two-year old. "See my headband? I'm from Konoha. Like Kakashi. Remember Kakashi?... and, uh, if you really intend to use that bottle as a weapon, you might want to break it first." Yugao smacked him disapprovingly. Tazuna looked at the bottle as if seeing it for the first time.
"Annd why would I wanna do that?" he asked finally.
"You wouldn't," Yugao said quickly. "Please, we're here to protect you. You can calm down now, everything's going to be okay."
"Nobody's protecting me," Tazuna growled. "'M all alone, n' there are ninjas after me. But I already said it—ain't gonna run anymore. Who'm I kidding... 'm never going to get to Konoha alive. Mighwell go with a fight!" Hayate rolled his eyes and used the art of transformation to assume the shape of Kakashi (he had the headband over the wrong eye and the hair going the wrong way, but Tazuna was in no state to notice fine details).
"Tazuna," he said, "there you are! Don't worry—(cough, cough, cough)—about those ninjas, they're no match for me!"
"Ka--Kakashi?!" Tazuna exclaimed, surprised. "Where were you all this time? Come on, you can do what you did last time—'m counting on you!" The bridgebuilder's relief at seeing "Kakashi" left too few reasons for him to stay vertical, and he quietly passed out. Hayate assumed his normal shape while Yugao picked up the empty bottle disapprovingly.
"Not a wise coping mechanism," she said, frowning.
"You can't really blame him," Hayate said. "Remember, he spent hours alone in a motorboat in the middle of the ocean knowing that he was most likely going to be ripped to shreds by ninjas."
"I guess you're right... poor thing," Yugao said. "I'd better radio in the others so they know we've found him."
Hayate waited for it.
"They're not there," Yugao said worriedly.
"Radio in Etsuko and tell her to run back to Konoha and let them know we're stuck on an island somewhere by—(cough)—Kirigakure and we can't get back," Hayate said dryly.
"Etsuko would have disappeared after you fell asleep in the boat, remember?" Yugao said nervously. "If I tried to reach her, I'd probably just get Kankuro, and...I think you're right, the Sunans aren't the most trustworthy."
"Great, then, we're stuck," Hayate said. "Let's build a fort, tame wild goats, befriend local savages..."
"Wait... Tazuna had a boat," Yugao said. "He probably left it in the woods!"
"You're right," Hayate said, getting up. "I'll go—(cough, cough, cough)—find it."
"No, you're sick," Yugao said sternly. "I'll go find it."
"Okay, okay, fair enough," Hayate said, sitting back down. Yugao headed for the woods.
********************
They'd given up. Mist ninjas never did, but there was a first time for everything, especially when one of your pursuers starts turning into a thing... a terrible thing that reeked of chakra and craved death. They did not fear death, but they did fear dying at the claws of that thing. Forget finding the bridgebuilder if it meant facing that thing. They rose out of the water and walked up the beach of a nearby island, not quite sure what to do next. One noticed fresh footprints in the sand and pointed them out to the other one. They cautiously followed the footprints into the woods and found a motor boat hidden in the bushes. So Tazuna was here—they didn't need to give up after all! Someone was coming. The mist ninjas hid in the trees and waited.
*************************
Yugao approached the boat. It wasn't really hidden, just shoved in the woods so it couldn't be seen from the ocean. She pushed it up on its side, then onto its stern and positioned a bench over her shoulders. With all of the superhuman strength of a ninja, she began to pull it back to the part of the beach where Hayate and Tazuna were waiting. Something heavy thudded onto the overturned bottom. Yugao gave a little shriek, and her legs buckled under the sudden weight. Something else dropped down in front of her. A wicked metal claw slashed out at her, sacrificing accuracy for speed. She cried out again and clutched her shoulder. Hoppy-chan fell quietly to the ground. Yugao shrank back as much as the boat would allow and hastily drew a kunai knife. Her shoulder was beginning to go numb, and she remembered the poison on the claws with a start. The claw came again, more deliberately this time, and she only just managed to deflect it away from her face. Tears welled up in her eyes—she was too scared to do anything, she was going to die, the third swipe would surely—
But there was no third swipe. All of a sudden, Hayate was there, and he savagely punched the ninja in the face. As the enemy hit and proceeded to slide down a tree, unconscious, Hayate quickly, wordlessly held the motorboat up so Yugao could scramble out, then dropped it, bringing himself and the second mist ninja face to face.
"Just me and you left," the enemy said, sizing up Hayate. "Not much of a contest, I see." Hayate coughed violently and drew his sword.
"They don't make you jonin because you spelled your name right on the application," he said, deadly calm.
"You're a jonin?" the mist ninja asked. Hayate's expression darkened.
"I'll let you find that out for yourself," he growled, then attacked. It was a fast-paced, deadly ninja fight that involved no strategy or complicated, chakra-draining moves. Sword—claw—sword—claw—sword—claw; clang—clash—clang—clash—clang—clash. A deer looked up from a bush it was nibbling. It saw Hayate and the mist ninja fighting tooth and claw, and it saw Yugao sitting against a tree and watching. The deer nodded (or did whatever a deer does that means the same thing) knowingly and went back to eating. Then Hayate's sword met the enemy's unprotected arm above the metal claw, and things rapidly started to wind down. Both ninjas were breathing heavily by the time Hayate held the enemy against a tree, his red-stained sword millimeters from his opponent's neck.
"What's your, problem?" the mist ninja panted, almost angrily. "I didn't insult, you too harshly, did I? Don't take stuff, so personally, everybody talks trash, before a fi—"
"You keep your claws, away from my girl," Hayate said.
"Oh. Eh... sorry?" the mist ninja said nervously.
"No, you're not. But I can, make you sorry, if you want," Hayate said warningly.
"No! I mean, please, don't," the mist ninja said. "Why did you spare me?"
"I couldn't find an opening before to finish you off quickly, and I don't think my lady wants to see me cut your miserable head off," Hayate said darkly. "I believe you owe her your life."
"I see... much appreciated, miss," the mist ninja said, looking at Yugao. She didn't say anything but sat against the tree, holding her shoulder and trying not to cry.
"I can make you thankful if you want," Hayate said dangerously.
Nobody said anything as Hayate dutifully tied up the two mist ninjas and did what he could for Yugao's wound. Figuring out how to get back to the beach was like figuring out the puzzle about getting corn, a goose, and a fox across a river using only one small rowboat, but Hayate made life easier for himself by dutifully knocking out the mist ninja he'd fought so he could carry Yugao back without worrying about the prisoners getting loose. On his way back with the boat, Hayate discovered a previously-unnoticed slashmark on one arm when he could only seem to feel the other one. He fixed it up as best as he could. The poison had already had somewhat of a chance to spread, so, by the time he was finished with the boat and everything, he felt quite miserable. But ninjas have many more hit points than normal people, so he still had the strength and the will to sit on the overturned boat, protectively watch the others (most importantly Yugao) sleep, and wait for the sun to come up.
*************************
It rained the next morning. If it had been hard to get a fire going last night, it was practically impossible now. Since most wilderness-survival meals require cooking before they're ok to eat, the group was forced to resort to military rations bars (tasteless, and considered food only because if you ate it, your body could use it for energy) and part of Yugao's apple for breakfast. The mist ninjas didn't get breakfast, not due to any cruelty on the part of the Konohans, but because they wouldn't let Hayate take their masks off. Nobody was in any kind of mood for chatting; Hayate had a worsening cough and a badly wounded arm, Yugao had a badly wounded shoulder, the mist ninjas were prisoners, Tazuna had a headache, and nobody had slept much at all the night before. Instead of chatting, they talked in tired voices of the best plan of action. They couldn't decide between heading for Kiri or Konoha—Kiri was closer and Hayate and Yugao needed medical attention, plus they could confirm whether or not Gatou was behind the mist ninjas' attack... but the village might not be friendly to wounded foreigners, and if the attack had been official business, Tazuna would be in great danger. Konoha was farther, but it was definitely safe... they seemed to be leaning towards Konoha when Tazuna spotted the boat. At first they thought it might be the Sunans, but, as it came closer, it was obviously way too big. Whoever it belonged to had certainly noticed them because it was coming up alongside the island. As Hayate was wondering out loud as to how they had been spotted through the rain and the fog, Yugao noticed the Kirian mist symbol flag and correctly identified it as a Kirian patrol boat. Ninjas. They waited expectantly—Kiri was coming to them. This could either be very good or very bad.
********************
"Alright, Gaara! That's awesome!!" Temari said as the sand rose out of the water, fish tails poking out and flopping madly all over.
"I don't need a freaking cheerleader," Gaara said stiffly.
"Kids, stop," Baki said.
"Don't call me a kid," Gaara growled. "I'll tell Mother." Baki shuddered.
"Genins, then" he said nervously. Gaara dropped the fish into the boat, and they started flopping around like crazy.
"Eeep!" Temari shrieked. "They're all slimy!! Gaara, why'd you do that?"
"How was I supposed to know they'd go ballistic?" Gaara said angrily.
"Genins, please!" Baki said. "Calm down! The fish can't breathe up here, so they probably want to get back into the water. Just spear a couple with your kunai knives and we can put the rest back—we can catch more easily when we need to. Don't make a hole in the boat."
They went to work. Temari ended up with the most fish because she would skewer any fish that got near her. Gaara ended up with the least because his sand shield kept the fish from hitting him and thus mostly out of reach. Only Baki actually picked up fish and threw them over the side, but the fish were so keen on returning to their home that, eventually, only an adequate-sized pile of dead ones remained.
"They're looking at me," Temari breathed.
"Let's eat already," Gaara said, picking one up.
"Woah, woah, we're eating them now?!" Temari asked. "Can you do that?" Most of the fish that came to Sunagakure were dried or preserved due to the long journey they had to make before they got there.
"I don't see why not," Gaara said, turning the fish over in his hands and trying to figure out whether one could just bite into it or if you had to cut it open to get at the meat. The nature chanel showed bears biting into fish all of the time, but animals often had different standards than people. Baki had cut his open, so Gaara finally did the same.
"These things sure have a lot of little bones," Baki said, pulling three out of his mouth. "Be careful, ki—genins." Gaara wordlessly spat out five or six bones.
"eew..." Temari said faintly.
"Not when you get hungry enough," Baki said. He'd eaten many things while on long missions that barely qualified as food, and fresh, raw fish was nothing compared to most of it. Temari looked down so she wouldn't have to see Gaara and Baki eating. Her eyes rested on the eyes of the fish on top of the pile. She looked quickly out to sea. And saw a dark shape through the rain.
"Sensei, there's a boat or something out there," she said. Baki and Gaara looked up. There was a boat, and it was coming straight towards them.
"That's going so fast it must have a motor," Gaara said. "Let's kill all the passengers and--"
"No, it's a Kirian patrol boat," Baki said, pointing out the flag. "About half of those passengers are skilled ninjas. Temari--quick, give me an explanation as to what we're doing here that doesn't involve tracking down mist ninjas!"
"We were doing a survival exercise," Temari recited, "but you couldn't handle a boat to save your life, so we got lost and now have no idea where we are."
"That works," Baki said gratefully. With Temari, you had to put up with how mean she could be if you wanted her help, and Baki was quite used to it by now. They waited as the boat approached them steadily and finally came up alongside them.
"That's them alright," said a familiar voice. Baki looked up and saw Hayate, Yugao, Tazuna, and the demon brothers standing together at the rail, almost companionably.
"You two!" he said. "And... those two... and is that the bridgebuilder?"
"Yep," Yugao said, "we found him on the island! I tried to radio you guys in and tell you, but nobody answered." Temari pulled the headset out of a backpack.
"Oh... I stuffed it in here so it wouldn't get wet and we forgot about it," she said. Yugao looked at Hayate. He looked hard at Temari. She didn't avoid his gaze, but she looked a little too on her guard to be telling the truth.
"What's the deal with those two," Baki asked, indicating the mist ninjas who had started the whole mess (and who were now looking at Gaara like he was going to bite them).
"These two," the ninja who was most likely the captain said, "were under the pay of Gatou, but he's dead now. No employer, no mission. They've already made it up with the bridgebuilder." (Tazuna was looking at them like they were going to bite him.) "We wanted to pick you three up on our way to the Land of Fire—you are going there, for the chunin exam that's being held tomorrow, right?"
"Yes, we were," Baki said, relieved. So they were leaving this horrible, wet place at last. "My other student, Kankuro—"
"One of my crew is going to pick him up on a summoned bird," the captain said.
"Lucky," Temari muttered. Summoned creatures never failed to be 'so cuute.'
"Well, that's really good," Baki said happily (for Baki). Then he and his students were helped over the side of the larger boat, and two mist ninjas retrieved their smaller one. Another mist ninja pulled a floating piece of plastic out of the water.
"Littering is a huge problem here; the ocean is very big, and it's hard to trace culprits," the captain said sadly. "Every time I see some piece of garbage floating around, it makes me wish that the fines were higher." Hayate coughed nervously, then a few times for real.
There was nothing else to do, so the ninjas and Tazuna all went below. The rain dribbled into the ocean as the boat started up again, heading (for some) back home.
************
"Yeah, but jumping on the boat like that really scared me," Yugao was telling the demon brothers. "Plus I couldn't move very well—you guys are heavy! Really, when I'm angry enough and have room to swing, I'm much better. You know Jiraya the toad sage? I once knocked his lights out."
Ninjas only fight and kill for the protection of their village or for the completion of a mission—for their job—so they don't mean anything personal, nor do they take things too personally; they adjust well to changes in sides. One minute, you're trapped under a rowboat and getting clawed, the next minute you're chatting with the guy who clawed you. (One minute you and another ninja are working together on a mission, the next, you're fighting him on a lonely rooftop under the moonlight...)
"You seriously fougnt Jiraya?" Hayate asked. "And won?? When—(cough, cough)—was this?"
"I was at the hot springs and there he was up on the cliff peering down," Yugao said. "Yes—that face—exactly what I thought. Naturally, I was just plain mad—what if I hadn't been wearing a bathing suit?? Anyway, I scaled the cliff wrapped in a towel and gave him a beating I hope he'll never forget! He wasn't even fighting back, just trying to defend himself and babbling about doing research for a book about something I'm not going to mention in mixed company. I—"
"Bring it," Temari said crossly. She knew what 'mixed company' signified.
"You are way too curious," Yugao said. "Anyway, I was so upset, I told him that he had a good idea and maybe I had sufficient knowledge to write a book about beating the snot out of perverted slobs." There was silence for a moment.
"I'd hate to be this Jiraya person," said Tazuna.
"Wow," said Baki.
"How uncivil of him," said one of the Demon Brothers.
"Served him right," said the other one.
"You're cooler than you look," sniffed Temari.
"Why didn't you tell me about this before?!?" asked Hayate. "I should've hunted him down and knocked his lights out a second time!"
"I didn't want you to get hurt," Yugao said. "Jiraya's one of the Sanin, you know, and I think he'd fight back if you attacked him."
"I hardly think he'd find an opening," Hayate said evilly.
"Yeah, that one's scary when he's angry," muttered the mist ninja with the bandaged arm.
"And you're scary all the time," Temari said. She wasn't sticking up for Hayate, she'd just found an opening.
"Aren't you a sweet little girl," the mist ninja said.
"I try," Temari said.
The group was sitting around a table in the dining area, talking to each other because it beat sitting in a corner bouncing a bouncy ball against the wall repeatedly. Gaara wasn't part of the group—he was sitting in a corner bouncing a bouncy ball against the wall repeatedly. Outside it was still raining.
A sailor poked his head through the door.
"Anybody want to see a shark?" he asked. There was a general chorus of "No thanks." Gaara said nothing but got up and dragged his feet over to the Kirian, an expression of pure boredom on his face. As they went out the door, a member of the medical staff came in. She measured out a dose of something and handed the spoon to Hayate.
"Oh, no, not that again," he said, edging away.
"Yes," the nurse said, "this again."
"You do realize that this stuff's not—(cough, cough)—fit for human consumption," Hayate said dejectedly, taking the spoon.
"Most people seem to think so," the nurse said. Hayate dutifully swallowed the spoon's contents ("Uughh...") and handed it back. Then he turned suddenly to Temari.
"Well?" he asked. "You're going to make fun of me now, right? What's it going to be? Is my face going to freeze that way? Am I acting like a little kid? Well?"
Temari's look of wounded surprise was utterly priceless.
"How's everyone doing?" the nurse asked. There was a chorus of words like "fine," "great," and "good."
"Super," the nurse said in the 'not-my-problem-but-if-you're-satisfied-that's-good' voice of an official. "Just to let you know, we should be at Konoha in about an hour." She left.
"Another hour," Temari groaned.
"When we were on a mission to the Land of Snow, an hour's wait turned into a day's wait because of ice," said one of the mist ninjas.
"You've been to the land of snow? The place where they're shooting the next Princess Gale?" Yugao asked...
*************************
The triangular fin was just visible through the rain.
"So that's a shark," Gaara said apathetically, leaning against the rail. "Like in aquariums, only out in the ocean ready to rip apart anybody stupid enough to fall in."
"Ha ha, I guess you could say that," the sailor said. "Oh—I hope this isn't too personal, but why do you have 'love' on your forehead?"
"Because love—" Gaara began.
"No, not why 'love' exactly," the sailor said. "I've got it on my arm myself. Why on your forehead? Isn't that a little conspicuous?"
Gaara buried his head in his arms. There was just too little intelligence to go around in the world.
"Sorry..." the sailor said hurriedly, "bad question. Hey, have you seen that foreign film Jaws?"
"I'm the Kazekage's son," Gaara glowered. "I have it on DVD, that and countless other pointless movies about idiots saving complete idiots. And the monsters always die because they have too much power to be left alive. The shark in Jaws was the ultimate killer, so it had to be killed. I generally hate movies."
"I've always thought it would be cool to be a monster," the sailor observed.
"It's not," Gaara said.
*****************************
When Tsunami and Inari saw Tazuna walk into the village, they screamed with joy and ran to him. Hayate watched Tazuna run to meet them, lifting Inari into the air. Something stirred within him. When Hayate had been younger, he'd wanted to be a Ninja—a stealthy hero-type with a curved sword in his hand and a whole library of deadly ninjutsu in his head, someone who rescued princesses and fought evil in the dead of night. But Konoha was not a village of such ninjas; most of its residents were just people who were also ninjas, not ninjas who were also people. The whole village was just a swamp of normality—who's secretly in love with who, what's on tv now, who passed the Chunin Exam... going on missions with people like Idiot Mizuki just lost their appeal after a while. The village wasn't one that tried to eliminate incompetence, it was one that tried to encourage competence, one that looked on competence in awe when it surfaced. Hatake Kakashi was one who had risen above the normality, but at what price—first enslaved by rules and ideals, then isolated in reputation and the loss of the friends he could have made. Hayate wasn't cut out for that kind of life. But he wasn't cut out for the normal sort either... he remembered the day he and Team 3 had gotten back from their first class-A mission. Mizuki had run around collecting attention and laughs with accurate descriptions of how he had personally messed everybody up and of how mad Hayate and Sensei had been after fixing the problems and then going on to do most of the rest of the work. What's-her-name, Quiet Girl, had later asked Hayate if he thought Mizuki liked her or not. Then they'd all received the exact same portion of the pay. That day was Team 3's last day with Hayate. He'd left Sensei a brief note saying simply that he was leaving to find employment. Then he'd gotten the job as swordfighting instructor—he'd picked it partly because it let him set the level of expectations in his surroundings himself and partly because it was available and he rather liked electricity and food. Then Yugao had skipped down from the stars and into his life, and—
"You okay, sweetie?"
Hayate blinked and turned to Yugao. It never failed to thrill and amaze him how concerned she always was if she thought something was wrong (when he wasn't on a life-or-death mission, that is).
"Yes, just fine," he said gently, then coughed heavily. "Well, apart from my cold, that is."
"Look how happy the little family is," Yugao said, smiling. At that moment, Inari caught sight of them, and his face lit up in recognition.
"Heroes!" he shouted. "You're heroes!"
Yugao grinned at Hayate, but when he didn't match her smile, she matched his frown.
"What's the matter?" she asked. Hayate told her. She was silent for a moment, then,
"Join ANBU." She was dead serious now. "It's the largest concentration of people who care you're going to find. You know, part of the reason they're so elitist is because they know that they have motivation and other people don't."
"Hm," Hayate said slowly. It was a promising sort of 'hm'.
"Hayate," Yugao said, encouraged, "ANBU people get all of the important missions,, they get cool uniforms, they know the best jokes... ANBU is truly the second-best thing that ever happened to me. You're the first, and if you joined ANBU, that would definitely make third."
"I think I'll look into it, then," Hayate said slowly. Yugao squeaked and hugged him.
"You won't regret it!!" she said happily. "We can go to the ANBU main office and I can talk you in, no problem!"
"Wait, right now?" Hayate asked. "I'm really sorry, but I don't have time today because I'm part of the Chunin Exam crew this year—how about tomorrow evening?"
"Chunin Exam?" Yugao asked. "That's not until tomorrow...and you said you had to proctor the third exam... isn't that a month from now?"
"Well, yes," Hayate said, "but I have to be present today to help set everything up for tomorrow, and then I have to be present tomorrow in case they need to hold preliminaries after the second exam and because I'm one of the backup people on standby during the second exam in case any genins get into trouble."
"Ugh," Yugao said.
"You'd be amazed at how many way genins can manage to get into trouble in the Forest of Death," Hayate said sourly. "I've heard stories... you'd think they were trying to see how stuck they could get before a jonin came along."
Images of Mizuki trying to pry open the mouth of a vicious-looking plant to see what was inside flickered disconcertingly through his memory like a strobe light.
"I just hope I don't actually get called on," he continued. "Genins can get pretty indignant, especially if it's their fourth or fifth time taking the exam."
"Heroes!"
Inari had come over to where they were. The two looked around and realized that the Sunans had slunk off somewhere. Tsunami and Tazuna were behind Inari: teary, respectful, and, above all, grateful.
"Thank you for saving Tazuna and our village!" Tsunami cried.
"Thanks a lot," Tazuna said gruffly, "with those ninjas out of the way, the bridge will be no problem to fix!"
And suddenly, something was right. Tazuna and his family weren't thanking edgy Baki, loudmouth Temari, or better-not-ask Gaara, they were thanking Hayate and Yugao, the ones who hadn't given up, the ones who had cared. If there was to be no payment in money, here was a payment in thanks, and the lion's share was going to—
"Oh, we had help," Yugao said cheerfully. "Those ninjas from Suna did a whole bunch too..."
**************************
1:32 a.m.
Hayate coughed heavily, turned away from the clock, and went back to sleep.
2:27 a.m.
Hayate sat up and coughed up everything he could. At 2:30, he put the clock on its face to lessen its light then rolled over and tried to sleep.
Hayate didn't even want to look. He coughed tiredly for a while then tried once more to sleep.
4:15 a.m.
Hayate pushed the clock back down, groaning between the incessant coughs, then reached back for it to reset his alarm to fifteen minutes later. Not that it would do much good.
6:45 a.m.
Beep, beep, beep, beep,..----
6:55 a.m.
Beep, beep, beep,... Hayate got up.
***************************
"No... this can't be happening... there's almost a full batch of—(cough, cough, cough)—complete newbies, Orochimaru himself shows up, and we still need preliminaries?"
"He he, I guess today's not your lucky day, Hayate. Think you'll be able to stay awake?"
"I'll try. Please tell me that that Gaara kid dropped out."
"Um... not quite."
"Great, just—(yawn)—great. How am I going to stop the match when he starts pulling some poor kid's arm off? That kid is seriously someone even I don't want to mess with."
"Maybe he'll be up against a stronger kid."
"Uh, no. There's only one kid in that bunch that I wouldn't want to mess with, and that's—(cough)—Gaara."
"Then I wish your arms good luck, he he."
"Quit laughing, why don't you."
******************************
"Hayate! Wake up!"
He opened his eyes blearily. "Mm?"
"You were asleep," Yugao said.
"Probably because I've had less than twelve hours sleep—(cough)—over two days," Hayate said, "and I've just spent a whole afternoon watching twelve-year-old genins fight each other like little wolves. There are... never........... preliminaries.................."
"Hayate?"
"Mm."
"I've been meaning to ask you... how did you know? That night on the island. How did you know I needed you?"
Hayate thought back to the cold night—the mist ninjas—the boat—the urgency... it was impossible to explain.
"How did Temari know," he said slowly, "that Hoppy...Frog...Chan was a girl?"
Yugao was silent for a moment then reached over and hugged him.
"Hayate," she said softly, "if you can be there when I need you, you don't have to worry about keeping track of—Oh! My frog, it's—" Hayate smiled, dug around in his pocket, and put a cold, metal something into Yugao's hand.
"I forgot before," he mumbled, "here's... uh..."
"Eeee, you found it!! You can call it Mr. Frog," Yugao said, her eyes alight with adoration. "Where was it?"
"I noticed you didn't have it, so I went back looking for it after I brought the boat back," Hayate said with sheepish pride.
"Hayate, I love you!!" Yugao purred, hugging him even more tightly. Hayate gently hugged her back.
"So I don't have to know a thing—(cough)—about your horse, right?" Hayate asked after a moment, indicating her current pin.
"It's a pony," she said automatically. "You can see how the legs are smaller and... no, you don't have to know a thing about it. But if you want, you can remember that, from this day forward, his name will always be 'Hayate.'"
"I think I can remember that," Hayate said, smiling.
A piece of popcorn bounced off his head.
"You don't have to come with me, any of you," Princess Gale said with utmost conviction. "There will be crocodiles." Hayate broke off into a ragged coughing fit that almost lasted a full minute. Three people got up and, slowly and deliberately, left the theater.
The End
