A tear slipped out of my eye as the tires of the plane lifted off of the ground. I couldn't tell if the tear was happy or sad- maybe both. Sad because I loved Phoenix, it's where my mother is- or was I guess. She passed away when I was three, but I've always been emotionally connected to the place where we might have been happy in another life. The nice lady from the foster care place has always kept me here, maybe out off pity- I would never know.
The tear might have been sad because she is making me leave. After 14 years and 3 different homes in Phoenix I was being forced into a small town in Washington. Forks, I think it was.
I glanced out the window and smiled, a tiny little thing that probably resembled a grimace, I haven't smiled in so long. For the first time in far too long for a seventeen year-old girl, I didn't feel intimidated or worthless or dumb. I was miles above those people who stole my self- worth and made me feel inches tall. The people who kicked me into the cold with scarred skin and a scarred heart.
I was scared to move on to the next awful family, but I expected what would happen already. I'm used to it. Pain and fear are the only emotions I've known for my forever.
I shifted again in my seat and shied away from the woman sitting next to me. She was falling swiftly asleep and her arm was far too close for my liking. I pressed my too-thin body into the cold wall of the airplane and prayed that she would soon wake. I leaned my head back onto the seat and took a deep breath and repeated three key sentences in my head. She is a woman. She is asleep. She doesn't care about you. After five minutes of contemplating I slowly reached up and pressed the flight attendant call button and completely regretted it soon after. A well dressed old woman came clicking down the isle in her kitten heels and rudely asked what I wanted. I looked at the floor and pointed at the woman next to me. She asked again and I shook my head and pretended to fall asleep, hoping she would leave. I could hear her breathing for a second until she finally stomped away. I gingerly opened my eyes and sighed in relief when I could see she left. I just decided to ignore the woman and look out the window, tuning out the world for the rest of the flight to my personal hell-hole.
