Chapter 1: The Komui Menace
The Science Department Daily (7th May, Monday)
Post of the week: results revealed!!
Q: Komui is a/an .
1. loony (4)
2. public nuisance (11)
3. threat to society (15)
4. Akuma! (how else can you explain the danger he poses to everyone?!) (70)
Results complied by the Science Department. Watch out for more exciting polls coming up!
"Reever-san, this is Johnny! Komui is not in Lenalee's room! Shall we check Lenalee's wardrobe?"
Reever Wenhamm closed his eyes in concerntration. The last time Komui had ran off for his self-declared break, it had lasted for five days straight and almost threw the Science Department into a state of emergency. They had eventually found him hidden in Lenalee's cupboard, surrounded by numerous bottles of water and cookie jars. That loony had even found a way to install a gas cooker inside. There was EVERY reason to check Lenalee's wardrobe.
But then again, Lenalee was after all, a girl. You just don't simply look into a girl's wardrobe. It's an unspoken law.
Choices, choices.
Reever thought quickly. "Johnny, is 65 with you too?"
"Yup. Why?"
"Well, technically, he's not human. Ask him to check the wardrobe. But no peeping for you, understand?"
"Y-yes Reever-san!"
Reever sighed and put down the telephone, for the first time taking a sweeping glance of the Science Department from Komui's worktable. He had to admit; the view from here was terrible. He could see the entire length of the paper-strewn office in its messy glory. Certainly a most depresing sight.
No wonder Komui ran away whenever he could. I would, too.
Still, Reever had no choice with regards to his current seating. Komui's table was the only one left with a telephone. The rest of the tables had their respective telephones taken away by the members of the Science Department. With the use of spare phone wires and golems Reever had extended the telephones' existing wires, enabling his department to carry the phones with them so that they could give him the latest updates on the search for the silly supervisor.
The phone rang again. Reever picked it up on its first ring.
"Have you found Komui?" he asked eagerly.
The voice on the other line sounded surprised. "Is that you, Reever-chan?"
Belatedly Reever recognised the voice as that of Bak Chan, supervisor of the Asian Branch of the Black Order. "Yes. Is this Bak? I'm sorry I didn't recognised your voice just now. Komui's not available for the moment. Can I take a message?" He began rummaging the messy tabletop for a pen and paper, and found none.
How can Komui get anything done with this chaos around him? Oh right ... he doesn't.
"Lemme guess. Komui's missing again?" Bak's tone was amused. "Well it's not something so important that it can't wait. But if you see him, tell him that the optimum temperature of hot water to brew coffee is around ninty-six degrees. He called me two days ago regarding this. Bye" The phone went dead as Bak disconnected from his end.
Reever could feel a pulse throbbing on his forehead. Wait a minute. Komui actually made a long-distance call just to ask Bak this?!
The moment Reever put down the phone, it rang again. Feeling a little peeved, he waited for the phone to ring three times before picking it up.
"Bak?' he answered gingerly.
"Huh? No, Reever-san, it's me, Walter, the new guy. I'm in the cafeteria. Jerry says Komui's not here, but I don't quite like the way he's looking at me and sharpening the knife at the same time."
"NO!" Reever practically screamed into the phone. "Don't believe what Jerry says! NEVER! They're best friends! It's VERY probable Jerry's hiding the supervisor in the kitchens. Scour every corner of it! Check all the cupboards, the food storage room, everywhere! And don't come back unless he's found!"
There was an audible gulp from the other end of the line. "O-okay, Reever-san. If you say so."
Reever put the phone down. Where are you, Komui?!
"I sense a disturbance in the force, Russell-san. I can almost feel Komui-san's presence."
Russell sighed. It was the fifth so-called disturbance in the last hour since they had started searching for Komui. He gave his companion a tired look.
"No offence, Tommy, but I don't trust your "disturbances". Now quit whining and help me carry the phone instead. I've been carrying it for an hour now."
Tommy would not be refused. "But Russell-san, I really feel it. My stomach tells me to turn left!"
Where the cafeteria is. Whee. You've got to try harder than that, Tommy, because I'm not falling for it. Why did I choose Tommy over the other new guys? I knew I should have chosen Walter instead.
"We're going right," Russell said firmly. "We haven't checked the map room yet. Komui may be hiding there."
"Ooooo," Tommy interrupted abruptly. "I sense another disturbance. My bladder tells me it's dead ahead."
Which leads to the washroom. Bravo, Tommy. Well done.
But before Russell can stop his companion, Tommy had already bolted for the washroom. Russell sighed and leaned against the wall on his left when a blood-curdling scream broke the silence of he afternoon.
"WAAAAAAA!"
The scream did not sound like Tommy. Hurriedly Russell dialed a number on his telephone.
"Reever-san? I think I found Komui. He's on the tenth floor in right wing's washroom."
Reever rushed to the washroom to find it in a total uproar.
"MUTINY! IT'S A MUTINY!" Komui shrieked under the dead weight of Russell, Tommy and Walter. "REEVER-SAN! HELP ME"
"Wheeeeee!"
With an enthusiastic war-cry, Reever promptly jumped onto the human tangle, earning a squeal from the supervisor.
"Eek! You're not helping me, Reever" Komui whined in an odd sing-song.
Just then, Johnny appeared from a cubicle, clutching a terrific pile of empty cracker bags and bottles. "You won't believe this, Reever-san, but Komui has refurnished one of the shower cubicles into a miniature living space. It's gonna take some time to clear up all the rubbish the supervisor created, though."
"This madness ends here, supervisor," Russell grunted. "We still have a lot of work to do, you know."
"NEVER!" Turning to one side, Komui produced a single feather from his coat pocket, and proceeded to tickle Russell's nose.
"Wha-heehee! S-stop-hahaha AH CHOO!"
In the wake of Russell's tremendous sneeze Komui managed to struggle free. A blow-pipe instantaneously in the supervisor's slim digits.
"Everyone duck!" Reever shouted as he ran towards Komui in a rushing tackle.
Reever collided into Komui just as the latter blew his blow-pipe. The dart flew over Russell, Tommy and Walter.
And straight towards Johnny.
Johnny, however, did something most strange.
He stood his ground, not making the least effort to evade the deadly projectile.
"Johnny! Noooooo!"
To everyone's horror, the dart hit Johnny right in his chest.
And bounced off.
It wasn't physically possible, but Reever swore Komui's jaw dropped and hit the floor.
"H-h-ho-ho-how ..." the supervisor babbled.
The bespectacled Johnny laughed. "MUAH HA HA HA! Resistance is futile, supervisor! I, Johnny, will not bow to one mere dart. Is this the best you can do?" he mocked.
An unholy light glittered from Komui's eyes, and something akin to feral touched his grin. Everyone jumped away from Komui. Whipping out a remote from his lab coat, the supervisor depressed the single red button on the remote.
"Komurin Six! Activate!"
An ominous low rumbling began shaking the Headquarters.
"BAH HA HA HA!" Komui's evil smile widened. "Stand in awe and admire the saviour that is Komurin Six! Bask in its divine light! For I have brought to you not only a new fellow comrade, but also an anti-Akuma weapon, a coffee maker, an automatic office cleaner, all rolled into one godly combination! BAH HA HA HA!"
