"Come on."
"What?"
"It's been one hour. It's my turn now."
"No way it's been an hour already!"
"Yes, it has."
Emma Swan crossed her arms as she slumped onto the bed, watching a very concentrated Neal Cassidy push buttons on their Wii controller.
"Mario Kart is boring," she whimpered, scratching her nose as he threw his body to the side in a particularly difficult curve.
"No it isn't," he replied, the tip of his tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth as his eyes remained glued to the TV screen. "You're just complaining because you don't know how to play."
"Are you kidding me?" she snorted. "I don't know how to play? Then why are you always whining you can never win in the Rainbow Road?"
"I don't whine!"
"You get all cranky when you play that stupid game."
"Well, you get cranky when you play Archery as well."
"You calling me a sore loser?"
"I'm not calling you a winner…"
She reached behind her for one of their pillows, and before Neal had time to gloat about finally taking the lead in the race, she smacked him square on the face with it.
When he opened his eyes again, still trying to get over the unexpected attack, he realized he had spun out in that fraction of a second - an eventuality that had sent him back to the 8th position.
"Thank you for that," he snarled.
"Anytime."
"Do you honestly think you'll beat your mother in archery by playing a videogame?"
"Wii Archery is very realistic, just so you know."
It was his turn to snort.
"It's not! You don't get do-overs in real life. You miss a shot, you're over."
"No kidding, really?"
"Plus in real life you don't have time to check your reflection on a TV screen before you aim."
"I don't-"
"If you wanna become a real archer then you should get some real training."
"Are you done?"
He knew he was getting on her nerves - hence his little smirk of triumph as his eyes gleefully followed the bluish kart zigzagging on the screen.
"Yeah," he muttered.
"Finally…"
Without any further notice, she picked up the remote control and switched off the TV set.
"Emma!"
"One hour each! That was the agreement."
She stood up, and walked towards the console with her Wii Sports Resort in hands.
"Hey, wait," he said, putting down the controller as he looked at her. "I have a challenge for you."
She let out a sigh. There were better things to do than to take up Neal Cassidy on a challenge, but she couldn't help it - not when he kept that smug look on his face, egging her on.
"What?"
"You beat me at Mario Kart, you get the Wii all for yourself."
He handed her the other controller, and made room at the edge of the bed so that she could sit closer to him.
"Okay," she shrugged.
"Should I set the difficulty level to "easy" or you think you can handle "normal"?
"Haha. You're hilarious."
"Just saying…" he whispered, trying to look serious as he restarted the game. "We both know that you and vehicles are not exactly a match made in heaven…"
"Oh my G-"
"It's begun."
She never had time to finish complaining about his criticism of her driving skills.
"Crap…" she muttered, quickly falling to the last position mere seconds after the race had started. "My controller is not working!"
"Here, have mine."
Luckily for her, changing controllers also meant swapping karts, and Neal was miles ahead of her. Too bad he didn't take long to catch up with her, striking her kart with Koopa shells.
"You're cheating!"
"I'm not!"
"You're trying to make me spin!" she complained, tapping the buttons in her controller furiously after he bumped into her.
"In case you don't know, that's one of the goals of the game."
"Get out, Neal!"
"Look who's whining now…"
"Well, at least I don't curse like you do when you're lo-"
Again, she was interrupted, this time by a lightning bolt that made her take a plunge into a bottomless pit.
"Motherfu-"
By her side, Neal was doubled over in laughter. She felt her ears were on fire.
"There. Happy now?" she said, putting down the controller when her opponent came in first. "You win. Is that what you wanted to hear?"
He was still laughing when she stood up and opened the wardrobe with a little bit more strength than usual.
""King of Mario Kart. Where's the crown, we should get you one," she muttered, taking off her sweater and shoving it on a shelf. "It's ridiculous that you're so addicted to a stupid game, you know that?"
She unbuttoned her jeans and stepped out of them, still fuming.
"I don't even know why this thing is in our room, it should be with Henry," she went on, searching for something fancy to wear among her clothes. "Though, thinking about it, he's probably more mature than you."
"Okay, okay…" Neal replied, after finally catching his breath and wiping away happy tears. "I'm sorry. It's your turn. I'll put Wii Sports Resort on."
"I don't wanna play anymore, got better things to do."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah. In case you don't remember, my parents are hosting a Ball downstairs."
She turned around, just to see him check her out. Not that he was to blame though; by that time, she was wearing nothing but her underwear.
"Oh, I do remember," he said, biting his lower lip. " I just didn't think you would consider entertaining complete strangers a better thing to do."
"It's better than sitting here and watch you behave like a 5-year old."
She turned her attention back to her clothes, trying to hide a smirk. Judging by the look on his face, his thoughts as he glanced at her were far from childish.
"Hey."
Before turning to look at him again, she pretended to be fumbling with some clothes.
"I'm sorry, okay?" he said. "Let's settle this. I won't bump into you this time."
"I'd love you to bump into me," she whispered, as she browsed through her dresses. "Just not the way you imagine…"
"What was that?"
"Oh, nothing…" she answered, closing the wardrobe door and leaning against it with her arms crossed. "I choose the track, then."
"Alright."
"And I want it to be on level hard."
"Level hard it is."
She lowered her eyes to the floor when he patted the bed, handing her a controller with eager, boyish eyes.
How naive of him to think she really wanted to play that game. Whether he did it on purpose or he really acted out of naivety was an entirely different matter.
"What track is it gonna be?"
"Maple Three-way."
"Treeway."
"What?"
"What what?"
"What are you talking about?"
"You tell me."
Judging by the expression on his face, it was not as if he found the idea of a three-way remotely amusing.
"Oh…" she shrugged, as she walked towards the bed. "My bad, then…"
"Whatever…"
If there was one thing she loved even more than seeing him laugh, was to see him annoyed. The wrinkles on his forehead as he clenched his haw were endearing, probably more than he imagined.
"Do you mind?" she asked, before placing her hands on his knees and pulling his legs slightly apart.
"Oh…" he muttered, still holding both controllers as she lodged herself between his legs. "So that's what you meant by 'hard'…"
She let out a smile when he shifted on the bed, a slight twitch against her lower back showing things were going according to plan.
"Why do I get the feeling I should have asked you about the rules?" he whispered, as the countdown showed up on the screen.
"Rule is…" she whispered back, snuggling closer to him. "You spin out, an item of clothing goes off."
She moved her shoulder so that one of her bra straps slid across her skin, and the seconds he took to drop his gaze to her breasts were enough to get his kart knocked out of the track.
"And do you get to choose what I take off?"
"I don't think it actually matters, but…" as she spoke, she twisted one of her fingers around the rim of his T-shirt, and he was more than happy to comply by pulling it over his head.
"Sounds fun."
Soon they were both tapping buttons again, until Neal's kart started falling behind, probably as he prepared to deploy one of his nasty tactics to make her lose.
"Looks like someone is f-"
She jumped from the bed when all of a sudden the reason for Neal's poor performance in the race was explained by one of his hands being way too busy finding its way between her legs.
"Neal!" she exclaimed, after seeing her kart fly off the track after she clumsily dropped her controller.
"What?"
"Grabbing is not allowed!
"Oh, but rubbing your butt against my crotch is?"
"Rubbing is not grabbing."
"I didn't grab," he complained, still leading his kart along the track although his eyes kept darting from the screen to her face. "I… I touched."
She raised an eyebrow, hands on her waist as he stuttered.
"M-Maybe… both. But hey, you can't punish me for breaking a rule I didn't even know about."
"Fine," she replied, pulling her hair up to wrap it in a bun. "I'll let this one slide."
She picked up the controller from the floor and turned around to look at the screen.
"What do you mean, you'll let it slide? You crashed. An item of clothing goes off."
"I didn't-"
When she spun around to glance at him, it was his turn to have a raised eyebrow and a very serious look on his face.
"Fine. What is it gonna be?"
"Bra," he answered, a smirk curling his lips even though his eyes were now fixed on the TV screen.
"See, the fact that you chose bra when you could have chosen panties says a lot about you."
"Panties are for the next round."
"Who says I'll lose the next round?"
"Bra," he repeated, still not looking at her.
She kept watching him as he pretended not to be interested in whatever it was she was doing, though the obvious mistakes he was making in the race made it clear he was losing focus. A slow smiled formed in her mouth as she took her time to unclasp her bra and let it slide off her arms until her bare breasts were in full display.
He stole a quick glance towards her, lips parting after swallowing hard.
"It's cold in here, don't ya think?" she asked, as his eyes quickly shifted from her body to the game - only to find out he had spun out a long time ago.
"I think I crashed."
"You might have..." she purred, taking a seat by his side as he slid his sweatpants down his legs.
By the time he picked up the controller again, he was not even trying to hide a very mischievous smile as her nails grazed his back and one of her hands played with the elastic band of his boxers, pulling them down just an inch before stopping.
"Oh, I'm sorry," she whispered into his ear. "You're still running..."
"No I'm not," he said, before throwing the controller to the side and turning off the TV. "Not anymore."
She laughed when he picked her up and threw her in the middle of their king-sized bed, lodging himself between her legs as he chuckled.
"Wait," she panted, after he had managed to get her rid of the last item of clothing she was wearing. "Turn off the lights."
"What?"
"Just do it," she whispered, moving over to straddle him. "You'll like it."
With a content sigh, he reached above the bedside table and punched the light switch.
"You don't look like you're having fun," said Belle, as she and Rumplestiltskin watched other couples spinning gleefully on the dancing floor the Charmings had carefully assembled.
"That's because I'm not," he snarled in response. "Not a huge fan of such social... obligations."
"It's not an obligation... It's..."
He looked at her with his trademark half-smirk.
"Right. It is an obligation," she responded, taking another sip of her champagne ans she gave him a little smile of her own. "A very boring one at that."
"Really? You find Balls boring or is it my own aversion rubbing off on you?"
"Perhaps I liked them more in the past," she replied, with a slight shrug. "But that was before meeting you. Before finding out there were better things to do in life than socialize with people I don't care that much about and that only come to such parties either for the food or to criticize what the hosts are wearing."
"Not everyone here is a stranger, Belle. I saw Leroy and Ruby a few moments ago," he said. "They are your friends, aren't they?"
"Yes, they are," she answered, pouting even though she was clearly trying to hold off laughter. "And they were so bored they left an hour ago."
He watched in awe when she giggled. What a perfect human being.
"Have I told you how much I love to see you in that dress?"
"This one?" she asked, smoothing the yellow party dress she hadn't worn in ages. "It does bring memories, doesn't it?"
"Some of them, not very good..."
She realized his eyes seemed to flash with guilt for a moment, and before their conversation went down a road she was really not willing to revisit anytime soon, she reached out for his hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.
"Then what do you say we make more... interesting memories to make up for that?"
Their eyes locked for a very long minute, in which his hands softly slid along her waist.
"Can I offer you a tour of this Castle?" he whispered, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
"How many rooms does it have?"
"In all honesty, I have no idea. I suggest you help me count them?"
"Most certainly."
He bowed before taking one of her hands to her lips, and then leading her out of the ballroom, a protective hand on her lower back as they walked towards the staircase.
"Emma!"
"..."
"Oh my God."
"..."
"Oh my God!"
"..."
"Emma..."
"You like it?"
"Please don't stop."
"You know I'll have to, eventually."
"Yeah... And I'll make sure to return the favor."
They both giggled, and after that, only a moan every now and then broke the silence around them.
In the deserted hallway outside, Belle and Rumplestiltskin finally parted for air after a searing kiss.
"Belle, much as I love your dress, I'll have to get you out of it."
"I know. Then you'd better get to work, because this corset is hell to take of-"
With a quick movement of his hand, Belle's dress disappeared into a cloud of smoke, leaving her with nothing but her satin chemise.
"Rumple!" she exclaimed, trying to cover herself with her arms as her eyes darted around. "Shouldn't we get a room first?"
"Certainly."
After pulling her into another breathtaking kiss, Rumplestiltskin pushed the door behind him open, walking backwards until his back hit a wall and he could hear Belle carefully closing the door behind her.
He paused when a distinct slurping sound came out from somewhere in the dark room.
"Did you hear that?" he asked, whispering into Belle's lips.
"What?" she moaned in response.
However, by the time his ears tuned in to their whereabouts, Belle's hands had already reached the fly if his leather pants and he really could hear nothing but her breath against his mouth.
"Nothing..." he panted, shifting positions and gently pushing her back against the wall as his lips trailed kisses down her neck.
"Henry?"
The boy woke up from his trance after at least a good half hour staring at his shoes. Maybe life in the Enchanted Forest was not as enchanted as he had initially thought. The first Ball had been fun. So had the second and the third, but after the fourth... Did people honestly spend all of their time dancing and wearing... those clothes? He adjusted the collar of his vest as he walked towards Snow White, trying not to look so bored - after all, he did not want to hurt their grandparents' feelings by letting it show he did not share the same love for Balls as they apparently did.
"Yes, Grandma?"
"Are you okay?" Snow asked, touching the boy's face. "You look unhappy. Where is Gretl, Hansel, Grace?"
"They're out of town."
"Oh.
"So they said... at least."
"What about your parents? I haven't seen them around."
"I think they're still getting dressed."
"Do you mind letting them know dinner is about to be served?"
"Alright."
He gave his grandmother a smile before walking away and going up the staircase with a smile on his face. Ah! No matter how boring the Balls got, good news was that the meals only got better.
As he strolled down the hallway that led to his parents' room, he wondered what they would get for dessert.
Chocolate pudding?
Raspberry Lemon Layer Cake?
Butterscotch Souffle?
All of them?
He pushed the door open with a dreamy smile. Only then did he remember he should always knock first. Should he close it and then walk in again, after knocking?
Oh, whatever.
"Mom?" he called out, while looking for the light switch to turn the lights on. "Dad?"
"Henry!" Belle screamed, as soon as the lights went on.
Rumplestiltskin would have turned around to look at the boy, if only his eyes hadn't come across his son and Emma before, in a very compromising position.
"Papa?"
"Bae!"
"Grandpa?"
By the time Rumplestiltskin turned around to look at his grandson, he realized the boy was beginning to turn his head to locate his parents at the far end of the room. Most certainly, walking in on his grandparents was not much of a pleasant surprised, but at least he and Belle were still decent and... dressed, to all due effects! Now, if the boy spotted what his parents were doing...
With a clap, he made the lights go out.
"I can't believe this!" whispered Emma, whose heart was about to burst out of his chest as she slipped into Neal's boxers, the only item of clothing close enough to rescue some of her dignity as Neal rolled off the bed and wrapped one of the sheets around his waist. "Shit, where's my bra, where's my..."
Before she could finish her sentence or even find what she was looking for, Henry had already turned on the lights again. With her back still turned to him, she picked up the only things available to cover herself.
"Hey, kid," she muttered, holding the cases of Mario Kart and Sports Resort close to her chest. "Your father and I were... playing."
"Sports Resort is upside-down," said Neal, pointing at her left breast.
Emma glared daggers at him for daring to have fun in one of the most embarrassing moments of her life.
Another clap, and the lights were out again.
"This is unbelievable," snarled Rumplestiltskin, who was busy making sure his pants were zipped up and that Belle was shielded from curious glances.
"What is going on?" asked Henry.
With a flourish of his hands, the boy's grandfather brought back the lights and also, decent clothes for both ladies in the room.
"Why is Emma wearing Belle's dress?" asked Neal, who had been left out of the magical clothing session and was still clutching the bed linen around his waist.
Rumplestiltskin tilted his head and took a long breath before moving his hands again, this time with a little bit more concentration than before, and Belle's purple dress was correctly replaced by the yellow one she had been wearing prior to their disastrous sexcapade.
"Whoa!" exclaimed Neal, impressed at the attire he had been given in Fashion Spells Round 2.
And he was not the only one. Emma's jaw dropped slightly at the sight of laced up boots, a shirt, a leather vest and belt - not to mention the scarf and... a cape.
"Belle, can you please wait outside with Henry?" said Rumplestiltskin.
"Wait," said the boy. "Dinner is ready. Aren't you guys coming?"
Rumplestiltskin cleared his throat before looking at his son's face, just to find out he had thought the same thing.
"Yes, Henry, we are," the older man replied, after letting out a sigh. "Eventually."
After the boy and Belle had left the room, Rumplestiltskin turned to look at his son again, just to find him drooling over Emma's gown.
"Son?"
"Can you give us five minutes?" Emma asked, her eyes still taking on Neal's figure.
"No, I can't, actually."
Neal finally shifted his gaze from the woman in front of him to his father.
"The dress Belle's wearing..." Rumplestiltskin continued. "It's been a very long time since I last saw her wearing it. She looks gorgeous, don't you think?"
Neal opened his mouth to speak, but his father went on.
"You see, all kinds of things have happened to me in the past year or so. Not that I didn't deserve them, I admit I did. I saw Belle get shot, she lost her memories, you and I..." he motioned to his son, and continued speaking after shaking his head. "Then I was emotionally tortured by my own father, ended up locked in a box, had to endure other half a dozen Balls the Charmi-"
"Okay, I get it, I get it," Neal interrupted. "If you're not getting laid, then no one else is."
Rumplestiltskin turned to look at Emma, and then back at his son, with a smirk curling the corners of his lips.
"You know what they say," he said, resting a hand on his son's shoulder as he winked. "Family should stick together."
Neal raised his eyebrows, looking away for an instant before responding.
"Fair enough."
"Yes. Now, let's get going."
The three of them left the room with a slightly defeated aura around them.
"Let us all be positive," said Rumplestiltskin, as he closed the door behind them. "Best case scenario, we get to skip dessert, if you know what I mean."
"If we do, can you please not come to our room?" asked Emma, when Neal flung an arm over her shoulder and led her to the staircase.
The two men by her side couldn't help but laugh with a very visible amount of embarrassment.
"Most certainly, Ms. Swan."
