Who knew such a mundane, mortal pastime could be so enjoyable? As I finish the next line of what was called "knitting" when introduced to me on Midgard, I'm forced to put it down - a guard comes up to the prison cell under Asgard that I'm contained within and leaves the meal tray that mother sends me everyday down on the table so he can deactivate a small portion of the shielding to hand it into me. As he walks away I lift the tray up closer to me, close my eyes and inhale deeply; a faint smile ghosts across my lips as I smell the bittersweet aroma of cloudberries wafting up from the tray. Mother always knew my favourites and wasn't shy of work in the kitchen when it came to treating me. Yuletide in Asgard shared a few similarities with Midgard; gifts are given and received in thanks and appreciation, and the delicacies exclusive to this time of year really did moisten the palate with their richness of flavours. Cloudberries were always something I loved about this time of year – they were so rare that only rich families could have them, and even then they were reserved for this time of year. But mother spared no expense; on the tray was a slice of pie laced with the things and some cream for serving, with some cloudberry infused tea to warm me afterwards. I savour every mouthful as I sit and enjoy my meal at the meagre desk I've been provided. As I swirl some of the tea around in my mouth I start to think about the season itself; how am I going to procure gifts for my family from within these walls? They prevent my magic from working so I can't just conjure something as I normally would... I also can't leave to go fetch them something either...
My eyes pop out as I realise my answer and I grin happily to myself; I shall knit them all something. It's what I've been doing to pass the time anyway, so it may as well have some function. But what could I knit them? I'm going to have to ask mother for some more festive colours for the task anyway – black is not very in the spirit of Yule. Perhaps some reds and greens? Thor would definitely enjoy red anyway... But perhaps I should ask for some white as well; mother wouldn't wear such garish colours. I still don't know what I should knit for them though... I stare down into the dregs of my tea, swirling them about a bit before downing the last of it and slapping the cup down on the table before briskly standing up and walking over to my knitting corner, crashing down gracelessly into the piles of wool, patterns and cushions. I fix myself back into a cross-legged position and sift through the pattern leaflets that I've collected – a sweater would do! I find a pattern for a beautifully heavy, Aran jumper that I'll make for both father and Thor; the interlacing patterns look quite intricate and difficult, but I'll have a while to make them anyway... Then I spot a simple, long-sleeved cardigan with a long train that would look enchanting on mother. Now all I have to do is ask her to bring me some different coloured wools and I can get started!
The jumpers turned out quite well if I do say so myself; Thor's is a deep red, a little darker than his cape but red enough that he should like it. It was difficult working with his measurements, and looking at the jumper now I feel dwarfed next to it; I hope it fits him after the amount of wool it took to make! I'm sure that there's nearly an entire flocks worth of wool in the thing! It feels warm and heavy though, suitable for the winter weather. I put it down on the floor of my cell and pick up father's next - I made it using an expensive, Aran wool, beige in colour, and his pattern is a little more intricate as it laces down the arms as well as the front. His is not so big, but still many sizes larger than my own would be. Finally, I pick up mother's cardigan and I smile happily as I marvel at the care and skill I put into it; I used only the finest Cashmere wool in making it, from a very rare flock of white Kashmir that live only in the highest mountains of Alfheim. The garment flows down to the floor and a little longer (based on my memory of mother's height, that is...), it buttons up the front from just below the navel up to the collarbone with special pearl buttons I had mother get for me (I really feel terrible about the lengths she's had to go to in order to get these for me, but I'm sure they'll be worth it in the end). I also stitched lace along the collar and around the cuffs of the sleeves for added effect; it really is quite stunning.
As I sit down onto the floor in order to start wrapping them I feel the static of magic behind me prickling the hairs on the back of my neck and instinctively launch myself across the garments to hide them. I quickly rearrange myself on top of them to make them look like some loose blankets that I'm lying across. It ends up with me looking like something from a trashy Midgardian mating movie however, with my head resting on my arm and my leg angled awkwardly above the other...
"Loki, what are you doing on the floor for goodness sake? You have a perfectly good seating arrangement and a bed that I've provided for you" Frigg states gently as she scowls at me, which fast turns into a warm grin; a beacon of light in this dark situation I've found myself in.
"Well mother, I just decided I'd relax here for a while because it was comfortable and... Is there something you want mother?" My cheeks start to burn up at the predicament I'm in; my position looks highly suspect and of all people, in front of my mother... I'm also panting a little from the sudden burst of energy and I look slightly dishevelled...
"Well yes, I brought you the ribbon that..." Frigg starts to speak but stops herself mid sentence and pauses, her eyes going wide and her mouth dropping open a little; "Well I can see you're busy, so sorry dear, I'll just take my leave of you – sorry for interrupting." She swiftly drops the ribbons on the table and disappears out of the chambers at once...
Oh no! My mother thought I was performing lewd acts upon myself! I rest my head in my free hand in exasperation and embarrassment... I think it might have been better if she'd caught me wrapping the presents! I rise sluggishly from the floor and take the gifts up in a pile before hiding them in my clothes hamper at the end of my bed before collapsing onto it in utter defeat – so much for trying to have a happy Yuletide...
It's beautiful! I can't believe that Loki made such an exquisite piece of clothing for me, and by hand as well! It's as white as the snow and just as delicate; truly magnificent. I quickly disrobe and put on a plain white chiffon dress and wear the garment over it; I look stunning. Now I must deliver Thor and Odin's presents; I hope they will see the glimmer of hope in Loki that I do when they receive these gifts...
"My brother has embraced Midgardian practices and crafted me this wonderful piece of Earthen finery for Yuletide!? Surely I must go and thank him!" I take the red sweater from mother and disrobe myself with great gusto in front of her, eager to put it on. It is a bit tight going over my head, and bulges over my muscles, but it is a wonderful colour and very warm in this winter weather. I run off to the dungeons to thank him but am called back by mother;
"He made your father one as well; would you join me in presenting it to him?" She asks me pleadingly; she seems worried about offering it to him.
"Of course mother; I shall present it to him for you!" I grin widely at her and gently take the gift from her hands before making my way to father's chambers.
Once I get there I burst through the doors with mother behind me and stroll triumphantly up to him before kneeling;
"Good Yuletide father; I come bearing a gift! It is from Loki, a sign of his atonement and surely his change of heart – it is a traditional Midgardian craft that he has made by hand and offered to you!" I look up to see his face and gauge his reaction, but his face remains like stone as always. He stands up from his throne and walks down the steps to me, takes the gift from my hands and raises it up in front of him to inspect. As I look on in the hopes that he will accept the gift and cherish it, he folds it up again and thrusts it towards me, forcing me to take it in hand;
"Loki cannot buy his way out of prison with mere gifts and this charade of newfound empathy for Midgardians. I will not accept this; he must repent in confinement and nothing else will suffice. Thank you Thor, that will be all" And with that, Odin turns to return to his throne but is stopped in his tracks as I shout after him;
"But father, it is not a bribe or enticement for freedom – it is merely a son's affection for his father, and the rest of his family as well. Can you not see he has made myself and your wife, Frigg, gifts as well? How can you be so blind!?" I am almost bellowing as I finish, but I am interrupted forcefully by father's booming voice;
"SILENCE! Loki has committed treason against the house of Odin, against all of Asgard, he has killed thousands of mortals on Midgard and has brought chaos in his wake, and now he means to reconcile with the mortals to win me over – how little he knows me! I will NOT be seduced by his silver tongue anymore, now BE GONE FROM MY SIGHT BEFORE YOU ANGER ME MORE! And Frigg; stop bringing the boy trinkets and things to play with in his solitude – he should be repenting, not distracting himself!"
Frigg silently tugs on my arm to leave, a forlorn look on her face, and my brow creases in anguish as I rise silently and leave the room, not looking away from father one bit, wondering when he had become so callous.
As I appear in the room Loki looks up at me and smiles in such a way that I have not seen since he was but a boy; it is so warm and genuine, my heart is melting in its wake. I smile and offer my arms out to embrace him, which he only happily obliges by leaping from his bed towards be, nestling into me as he did when he was still my baby. It feels nice to have him back; I just wish it were under different circumstances.
"Mother – you look ravishing in it, as I'd hoped you would!" He exclaims as he leans back to look at me, eyeing me up and down, beaming at how well I look and at his own handiwork. "It's so wonderful; truly befitting our queen. What did father and Thor think of their presents?"
The look of expectation on his face, the pure joy that I would be crushing should I tell him how Odin reacted... But I don't, I won't.
"They both loved them, Thor still hasn't taken his off!" I laugh, trying to force back a few tears at the lie I'm having to tell. But Loki has always been sharp, always been my boy. His face immediately changes, growing dark and broody, brow furrowing and eyes becoming downcast;
"Mother, what's wrong? Is there something wrong? Can I help?" His sincerity strikes me hard and tears come tumbling down my face. He only embraces me tightly and echoes the same questions again into my hair and he strokes my back.
"It... It is nothing son... I-I... I just wish that we could see each other properly without this sneaking around... Yo-Your father has forbidden me t-to bring you anything more wh-while you are here..." I manage to bluster out another reasonable lie so as to save his pride from such a blow.
"Mother, all will be well eventually... Father has accepted my token and will hopefully one day see how I have changed," He takes me face in his hands and brings it around to look at him; he's smiling hopefully at me, his eyes searching mine to see if the sadness has abated. I feel better after my outburst and put my guise back on;
"Of course Loki, I must be patient. Thank you my dear boy; I shall return again to speak to you soon, I have a surprise of my own for you" I wink at him with a fierce smile, hug him tightly once more and drift away from him before going back to my room...
I wish things could have worked out differently as I hide the sweater Loki made for Odin in my bottom dresser drawer, and I silently pray for the day that all will be well and we can be together as a family again...
