Am I the only person who cried after reading manga chapter 698? Just...THE FEELS! I was really inspired to write this one-shot, which answers the question: "And if Kishimoto really cared about Sakura's character development, what would he write?"
Written in reaction to manga chapter 698 and thus, contains spoilers:) SasuSaku.
Blood and Bones
The full moon glows a ghastly red, casting the forest in bloody light. Sakura shivers, though her skin burns with exertion.
"How much farther?" she pants in between gasps of air.
Kakashi only grunts in response and quickens his pace. She pushes herself to keep up with his longer strides, but even knowing what awaits them cannot make her run any faster. Gods, I'm at my limit…
When she falls too far behind, Kakashi scoops her up and carries her on his back. "You'll need all your strength for…" he trails off. She gulps and does not protest.
Kakashi's even, rocking pace lulls her into a dream-like state. She had not had a chance to ask Hagoromo, the Sage of the Six Paths, about her previous incarnations. Had her destiny been entwined with Naruto and Sasuke—Madara and Hashirama, Indra and Asura, and maybe even lifetimes before that? No one had mentioned her, not in this lifetime, nor in previous ones. Her throat tightens, tears sting her eyes, but she clenches her jaw. This can't be the first time. How could it be? And yet…
Don't leave me behind.
The thought gnaws at her, makes her double up as if in physical pain. Even though she is clutching Kakashi's shoulders, she feels so alone. Broken. How could I live if either of them… Oh Kami, let us get there in time.
Just as jarring as her terrified thoughts is the memory of Sasuke's Tsukuyomi: cold steel piercing skin, ripping open cartilage and shattering her rib cage—skewing her heart. Searing pain. Eyes wide with terror, staring at Sasuke's blood-red Sharingan. Mouth parting in a silent plea: Please. His face had been as still and indifferent as cool stone, eyes blazing with pitiless jutsu. How many times had his sword pierced her in the genjutsu? How many times had she stared, slack-jawed, at his impassive face? And with every jab of his sword, with every dying breath, she had thought: I still love you, Sasuke-kun. I always will.
She is pathetic.
I need to stop thinking about that, she chides herself, cold sweat covering her brow, her chest aching with a wound that is not there. Swallowing back the sour taste in her mouth, she ignores the moisture gathering on her cheeks and wills her reeling thoughts to still.
Just as dawn dyes the horizon red and gold, they speed out of the tree cover and onto open plain. In the distance, the sunlight paints two giant, headless statues with crimson light; it looks like a beheading frozen in time.
"The Valley of the End," Kakashi breathes, settling Sakura down. Her pulse quickens. Her mouth goes dry.
Just then she spots Pakkun, Kakashi's hound, trotting towards them. His pug face is twisted with worry.
"This way," he calls, his voice so grim, it churns Sakura's insides.
Her feet pound the earth, and this time, she has no trouble keeping abreast of her sensei. Anxiety makes the blood rush in her ears.
What if I have to choose? Sasuke, or Naruto? Naruto…or Sasuke-kun? It's the same question she's asked herself over and over again during the course of the war. The old fears gnaw at her, begging her to answer an impossible question. She burns with shame, knowing that despite everything Sasuke has done—to her, to Konoha, to everyone—if it came down to choosing between Naruto and Sasuke, she would choose Sasuke.
But how could I live if either of you left me?
"…Sakura?"
Startled out of her tortured thoughts, she offers Kakashi a sidelong stare without breaking stride.
"Yes, Sensei?" she tries to keep the tremor out of her voice.
"If you're worried about choosing…" She starts at that, fingernails digging into her palms. "…Don't. We need both of them to break Infinite Tsukuyomi."
She shakes her head, blinking away tears. Then she grits her teeth and zooms ahead, Pakkun's leading form a black silhouette against the dawn.
"I'll die before either of them!" she shouts, her feet slapping the hard ground. Kakashi calls after her, but she can't hear him over the roar of wind in her ears.
Wait for me! The thought is so loud, she is sure they can hear her. Don't you dare leave me!
Pakkun skids to a stop in the valley and her heart leaps into her mouth. Two forms lay sprawled on the ground. Motionless. She isn't aware of her own legs hurtling her forward, doesn't hear the anguished cry leaving her mouth. Her knees slam into the earth, and for a moment, she freezes, mouth open in horror. She hardly recognizes these mangled faces, so bruised and broken their swollen features are obscured.
She chokes back a cry. Sasuke and Naruto are as white as paper. Each missing an arm. Blood still trickling from their wounds, flowing in a crusted river of congealed blood.
Swallowing down bile, she bites her thumb and slams it down on the ground.
"Summoning jutsu!"
Katsuyu emerges from smoke, and Sakura bites her lip. The slug only stands as high as Sakura's kneeling form—will it be enough? If only I had more chakra!
Katsuyu looks at Sasuke and Naruto and gasps. "Sakura-san—"
"Quickly, Katsuyu!" Sakura cries, desperate and pleading. The slug quivers for a moment, then divides into myriad forms, oozing over the ground and attaching herself to the unconscious bodies.
Sakura's fingers fly to their necks. Barely a pulse on either, so faint. Fluttering. Slipping away.
No!
She scoots between them, one hand on each of their arms. Stops the bleeding. As she works, sweat pours down her back.
"Pakkun! Find the missing arms. Katsuyu—work faster!" she grits from between clenched teeth.
Her hands fly to their torsos, funneling all the chakra she has into their damaged organs. It's not enough. Naruto's breath comes in rattling, shallow gasps. Her heart constricts when she concentrates on Sasuke—he isn't breathing at all.
"Katsuyu!?" Terror makes her voice shrill.
"Sakura-san," comes the choked reply. "I can't…"
"Sakura?" Kakashi kneels at Naruto's side, laying trembling hands on his shoulders. The question in his voice stabs her like a kunai to the heart. Sobs threaten to overwhelm her.
Don't leave me!
"I won't let you die!" she snarls, rolling up her sleeve. She has always known it might come to this. She is not afraid.
"Sakura—no! You mustn't!" Katsuyu shrieks, but it's too late. She's already flashed the hand-signs. With a roar, she opens the seal on her arm with a flash of blue light.
"Forbidden jutsu—Blue Lotus," she howls. With a thundering crack, her chakra is unleashed all at once: she can feel her reserves of fat liquifying and burning, creating energy. Her muscles melt. Dimly, she is aware that her body shines with a brilliant blue light. More! She compels her life-force to flow out of her organs, squeezes it out of the marrow of her bones. Chakra rushes madly within her, crackling like lightning. Roaring defiance, she slams her palms down, one on each chest, shunting as much life-force as she can down into the bodies of her comrades.
She feels wildly alive, her senses heightened. Gooseflesh covers her arms, and her hair stands straight up, as if electrified. She focuses on the prone forms beneath her hands, aware of each organ, each bone; of every single cell in their bodies. Naruto has shattered dozens of bones, but that isn't what concerns her. A broken rib protrudes into a collapsed lung, and his heart, so recently mended, pulses weakly. She fights down sheer panic as she senses Sasuke: he is a hair's breadth away from complete heart failure, and his brain is losing oxygen. Fast.
Take my chakra. Take my bones, my blood. Take them! Kami, let it be enough! Life-force leaves her hands like a roaring river coursing into their withering bodies. While chakra pours into Sasuke, she can sense the broken rib in Naruto's chest mending, feel it releasing his lung. She closes the puncture quickly, hears Naruto take a ragged gasp of air.
Heal Sasuke, she hears—only it is in her mind. I can take care of the kit from here.
The fox demon. Sakura sees two slanted, golden eyes in her mind, hears the voice echoing again, weary but insistent:
Go heal the Uchiha brat.
With a start, she releases Naruto, places both palms on Sasuke's chest. For the first time, she sees the wan smile on his bloodless lips. So pale. So cold. Her heart lurches, but she clenches her jaw, ruthlessly suppresses the urge to weep. I won't let you die!
She pumps his chests quickly, but his heart refuses to beat. He's lost too much blood. His lungs are filling with fluid.
Take mine. She wrenches open her medical kit, dumps out tubes and needles. With steady precise jabs, she opens her veins, finds his. With the last vestiges of her chakra, she funnels her strength into him. Live, dammit!
Her head swims and her vision blurs. Her legs tremble beneath her, but she forces herself to stay upright, forces blood and chakra from her veins. Sasuke! Please live…
Suddenly, her vision clears. She feels no pain, no fatigue. Disconcerted, she blinks rapidly and sees Sasuke—not as he is, all bruised and bloody, but hale and whole. A nimbus of light surrounds him, and an unfelt breeze ruffles his shirt. He cocks his head to the side and regards her with bird-like inquisitiveness.
Why go so far for me? The words seem to ring in the air, coming from everywhere at once. His lips quirk into a demi-smile, as if at a joke.
"Because I love you!" she cries out. She wants to say it's really all to save the world, but they would both know it isn't true. Because I love you…
He doesn't deny her, just continues to stare without blinking. His eyes are so dark, an endless black: like peering into the bottom of a well. No hint of anger, none of his iconic indifference. He's…curious. As curious as a magpie who's found something shinny and can't decide if it's silver or tin.
"What does love…mean to you?" His lips form the words slowly.
Her face flushes—not from embarrassment, but from anger, hot and searing. Something about his expression though…almost innocent. Childlike.
She inhales sharply. "I don't know…" Her hand rises up of its own accord, brushes his cheek. He doesn't flinch, just holds her gaze with those bottomless black eyes. Her hand falls to her side. "When I saw you so close to death—" her voice falters. She looks away from his intense gaze and forces herself to take a deep breath. "It was like I was dying, too. Sasuke-kun, I love you. I just do. The gods know I've tried not to… But I still do." Her eyes flicker back to his.
"I know," is all he says, that thin smile still curving his lips. "I…" He holds up his hands, palms up, a gesture of surrender. "I never hated you. I'm sorry..."
There are golden flecks of light in his eyes, glimmering like stars. She's never seen him like this. He seems so…happy. At peace. She reaches out to touch him again, but his face fades, the light dissolves and the world turns as dark as his shadowy eyes.
#
Dimly, she feels her body. Cold. So cold. Warm arms hold her, holding her steady, while the rest of the world pitches and heaves. It feels almost like being on a ship, rocked by waves. She swallows back nausea and forces her eyes to open, though she can only manage to widen them to slits.
"Kakashi?" she croaks, looking up into his pinched face.
Where is she? Blinking away her blurred vision, she twists her head to look around. She can't make out anything of the world around her, it's all too fuzzy. But then her gaze catches on a pair of blue eyes, wide with concern. Black eyes, steady and cool like mountain rock.
Naruto. Sasuke.
Reality comes crashing down on her. She yelps, squirms out of Kakashi's hold and lands in a heap. With a cry, she teeters to her feet and throws her arms around Sasuke and Naruto, blinded by tears. "You're alive! You're both—" She chokes on a sob. Chest heaving, shoulders shuddering, she collapses against them. Arms encircle her.
"Sakura-chan! You're alright!" The voice is so gravely and low, it take her a moment to realize that it is Naruto who has spoken. She steps back, scrubbing her face with her sleeve, and regards them closely. Hysteria is gone in an instant; cool medical training returns. Naruto grins sheepishly, two spots of color high in his cheeks. His breathing is irregular, but he is breathing. Alive. Her searching eyes swivel to Sasuke—still so pale, she can see blue veins through translucent skin. But there's something else, something…unusual about him. Squinting, she realizes with a start what the problem is: he's smiling.
She blinks stupidly at him. The last time she had seen him smile—really smile—she can't remember. It must have happened when they were genin, if it ever happened at all.
"What the hell is wrong with you two?" she thunders, blood rushing to her face. "The world is ending, and you two—" Her knees wobble, but she stubbornly locks them in place. "You two go off to fight each other and you nearly—" Tears burn her eyes again, and she cannot say it, though her silent accusation rings in the air: You nearly died.
"But we didn't," Sasuke says, his voice faint, but smooth and calm. His eyes lock with hers. "Thanks to you."
Sakura opens her mouth angrily—she wants to howl with rage, she wants to snarl—but something about his expression makes her fall silent.
"Katsuyu told us what that jutsu cost you," Kakashi says, laying a steadying hand on her shoulder.
"It doesn't matter," she begins, but Naruto cuts her off.
"She said it shortens your lifespan—by ten years." Blue eyes search hers, and she feels a pang at the concern in them. "Is that…?"
She is about to deny it when the earth rocks beneath her and she is thrown backwards. Kakashi catches her, but everything still sways. It feels like sailing through the air while leaving her stomach behind.
"Careful up there!" comes a deafening cry. Sakura blinks, and though she is too dizzy to see straight, she recognizes the voice: it is Gamakichi. They must be riding on the frog summons' back.
She clutches her stomach and squeezes her eyes shut. She feels so weak, like the life has been sucked out of her. She suppose that, in fact, it has. For the first time, she notices the feeling of her hollow cheeks, the way her skin clings to her bones. Her uniform is baggy now, billowing in the wind around her sunken flesh. Worst of all, everything aches, a bone-deep, pounding pain, like nails are being driven in all over her shriveled body. I must look like Tsunade-sama without her henge, she thinks bitterly.
She glances around: they are all staring at her. "It doesn't matter," she grinds out. "Just…" Her throat constricts, and her recalcitrant tears fall again. She covers her face with her hands. Takes a deep, shuddering breath.
"Did Pakkun find your arms?" she manages at last, in what she hopes is a steady voice, forcing herself to look at each of them in turn.
"Tch. I can dispel the Infinite Tsukuyomi with my eyes," Sasuke says, glancing away from her.
Dread settles in her stomach like cold lead. Naruto's jutsu always was a hair more destructive than Sasuke's.
"Asshole," Naruto says, his gravelly voice full of forced laughter. "Always showing off."
"Hn."
"Well, I need my second arm to complete the jutsu," he says. Keeping his expression markedly cool, he raises his hand towards Sakura, gripping a limp arm with bluish skin. The hand is missing one finger. Her stomach constricts painfully.
She takes the cold flesh in her trembling hands. How am I supposed to reattach this? She has no chakra left. It's an effort just to keep her eyes open.
"Don't worry, Sakura-chan," Naruto says brightly. "Kurama is finally awake." He lays his hand on her arm, and she is instantly enveloped in the fox demon's warm chakra. Her vision clears, and a measure of strength returns to her body.
She looks up at Sasuke. Naruto. Suddenly, she is overcome with emotions she cannot name. We are all connected. Chakra, bone, and blood. Family, but something more than family. She closes her eyes and disjointed images flash across her lids, different faces from different lifetimes, but still the same. Always the same. We've done this before, so many times before…
Gamakichi takes one final leap, landing in a thick cloud of dust on the silent battlefield. "We're here," he calls softly, his yellow eyes widening in horror. Thousands of human cocoons sway gently in the breeze from thick green vines. They look almost like paper lanterns; party decorations. The casing on the pods is so thin, she can see the suggestion of human forms inside of them. Her friends. Comrades. Suspended in a nightmarish jutsu.
Sakura's eyes harden, her mouth tightens in a firm line. "Get over here Naruto," she orders. Without preamble, she begins stitching the arm back on to Naruto's bloody stub with thick thread. When it is firmly in place, she lets her chakra flow, breaking open the clotted wounds, using her life-force to shove tendons, bones and sinew back together. She ignores Naruto's hisses of pain. At least he has an arm to put back on.
At last, she swaddles the limb in bandages. The skin is still slightly blue, but she can see color returning to it. Thank Kami…
"Go on," she says in a matter-of-fact tone, trying not to fall over from weariness. "Save the world already."
Naruto laughs dryly at that. They leap down from Gamakichi's back; Sakura notes with bitter humor that they all stumble when they hit the ground, even Naruto, who has the most chakra out of any of them.
"Come on, Sasu-keeeeee," Naruto calls, trotting forward, a grin splitting his face in two.
But Sasuke lingers, gives Sakura an inscrutable look. He opens his lips, but no words come out. Finally, he says: "I'm…sorry."
She stares at him. For what? she wants to ask. For which thing? She clears her throat, but she can't think of anything to say. Her heart aches, but she is not sure for who: for Sasuke? For herself?
Is there a difference?
"It's okay," she says at last. She looks away from his piercing gaze, her eyes lingering on the stump of his ruined arm. Unbidden, tears trickle down her cheek.
"Tch. I'm surprised you didn't offer me your arm."
Her eyes snap up at that. She regards his curving mouth, the glimmer of light in his eyes. Did he just…make a joke?
She snorts. "If I did that, who would heal you the next time you morons decided to blow each other up?" Her mouth twitches upwards in the ghost of a smile, and she just looks at him. She cannot look away. Maybe this time…
"Go on already," she mutters, shaking her head to break the spell. "And just remember, though you two are saving the world—" she spears Naruto and Sasuke with a glare— "I'm the one who'll be Hokage."
"Aw, come on, Sakura-chaaaan!" Naruto calls, casting a mournful look over his shoulder.
Sasuke just smirks, holds her gaze a moment longer, then jogs after Naruto.
Sakura's breath hitches in her throat, and the tears fall unchecked, running down her cheeks, coursing onto her neck. She doesn't bother wiping them away. Kakashi, smiling softly, stands next to her in content silence.
When Naruto and Sasuke finally release the Infinite Tsukuyomi, Sakura can feel it—their chakra hums in her bones, reverberates through her whole body. She closes her eyes, smiling. It's as if she is part of their jutsu, inseparable from the chakra both Naruto and Sasuke are wielding.
Images flitter across her mind like flashing ripples. She is Madara's lover, killed in battle by Senju nin; he holds her in tremulous arms as she dies on the battlefield, a serene smile on her face. Don't leave me…he calls after her, but she is already gone. She is Ashura and Indra's sister, unable to perform any ninjutsu; slain in the crossfire when she attempts to stop the two brothers from killing each other. How could I live if you two died? she whispers, her final words. And there are more memories, so many more: sister, wife, mother, in lifetimes before chakra had ever come to be.
She opens her eyes, thinking: How could we be separate? Blood and bones, and lifetimes' worth of sharing the same suffering. I am a part of you. She gazes at the glowing forms of Naruto and Sasuke, a river of chakra flowing from them—flowing through her. You could never leave me.
.
.
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And now, to concentrate on my NaNoWriMo novel. Thanks so much for reading, and if you liked what you read, please review! :)
