Present Day: A Single Letter & Broken Promises


"Misaki, wait!"

She did not listen to the voices that shouted behind her. Instead, she ran. She ran as fast as her feet could carry her. Somewhere behind her, her slippers had flown off and she went on in nothing but her bare feet. She ran out the sliding doors of the house, down the stairs of the front porch, and out of the gates. She did not know if everyone was staring at her; whispering about what a mess she looked; how strange she looked; what in the world she was thinking. But what did strangers matter compared to the only one who meant something (everything) to her.

There was a burn running up the entirety of her legs and they begged for her to stop but her stubbornness refused. So she ran ignoring the ache from the muscles of her legs. It as the sort of ache which had not felt such extent of pressure and stress in so many years – probably since the twins were born.

The whispering people stopped. For a second all noise stopped, except for a distinct buzz that was followed by an altogether loudness: sirens.

To my dearest Misaki.

I know even if I make a thousand apologies it would still be insufficient in expressing how sorry I am for being unable to keep my promise to you. I imagine you're furious because I wrote something like this even though I swore that I would return home to you. But, I can't help but leave something to at least apologize in case I break my promise to you. I can see vividly the way the entire house clears out of the path of your wrath. Except for Tora perhaps, however, he always was a fool.

Pebbles on the path cut the soles of her feet, some of them digging in and clinging to her raw and reddened flesh, the pain present only in the back of her mind. She could even hear the deafening sound of the sirens that warned all the people to rush indoors because an airstrike was coming and the people that were shouting and ushering each other in, shouting for her to quickly run inside to safety, into a shelter. Anywhere, as long as she was safe from the air raid that rained from above. But what did an enemy's assault matter at this point? Who would be left to care that she was gone? She was another uncertainty; unknown; a droplet of flesh and blood in an entire ocean.

I am writing this letter just as I am about to go the front lines. You call me a know-it-all and a show-off but even I do not know what awaits me on the battlefield. Of course, books tell us that it is power, adrenaline, blood, glory, and death. I have a hunch that most of it will be blood, death, and overwhelming feelings of wanting to return home to you.

She ignored it all.

I am constantly reminded of so many things. Funny enough, everything I can remember at this moment revolves around you. It feels like the seventeen years I had before are empty and inconsequential. They probably were because you make all the difference in the world. My brilliant Misaki.

Up ahead, Misaki could see the planes of the enemy flying overhead and leaving a trail of pelleting shells to plummet in their wake. Harmless in appearance until they hit the ground in a cataclysmic burst of energy. Yet in the frenzy of an approaching death, the distinct buzz as they soared by and the whistle of the weapons they dropped onto the town was muffled by the sound of her pounding heart that was louder than any explosion. Nearly everyone was inside already. Buildings around her were up in flames, the trees and houses she grew up around; the path she became familiar with. Everything surrounding her was now up in a wall of brightly flickering flames, crackling in the wood they caught, embers hissing and spitting out. Red and orange and vicious. Nothing of her memories seemed to want to remain.

For instance, the road where you fell and had your pride injured because I decided to help. I remember how you forced yourself not to cry. Or when you came after me to give me the thrashing of my life. I doubt even on the frontlines, anyone would be as large a warrior as you. Then I remember the rows of cherry blossom trees where we walked together. You may hate it but I love to carry you in my arms. I've never told you so but it makes me feel invincible.

She ran and ran and ran, around the weaker trees that had fallen and continued to blaze. She skirted around a fallen power line, jumping the wires, arms shielding her when debris spit her way. There was smoke everywhere and she almost missed it but when her eyes caught it, leapt to the side as another great tree fell to the ground with a mighty thump. It scattered soot and embers all over her, the bark burning into ashes.

Beyond the tree was the Okiya and there, standing beside the place where she met her first family in this town was the place she truly called home. A beautiful, modest house for a modest family that was due to grow. It was the home that belonged to the Usui family: Takumi and Misaki and their once expecting children.

And the most important thing, the treasure I will miss most, is your smile when you sat on my veranda as I drew camellias and chrysanthemums and butterflies on your arm. Your hands will continue to remain a source of wonder for me. It is a pity that I will never see such beauty with my own eyes. I will miss hearing you say my name in anger.

And now it was up in flames, red and orange and vicious. It burned down the dreams and memories that clung to the walls, the place where they spent their time together. The place where he held her in his arms, a home within a home. Somewhere near her, a person screamed as they tried to find a way out of the thicket of fire while another yelled to have their life spared.

He promised her that he would return home to her; safe; sound; breathing; smiling.

You were my most important person, my most beautiful flower. Misaki. I loved your determination, how you always did your best. I loved your smile. I loved and will always continue to love you, Misaki. I have hurt you countless times but I am asking you again. Please forgive me.

Her knees buckled, unable to hold her weight any longer, and Misaki sunk to her knees. Tears blurred her vision. Her lungs strained and heaved against the thick black smoke that cloaked the space around her. It was quickly becoming a curtain but she stayed, teeth clenched and on her knees, as she watched the last pillars of her and Takumi's home burn down.

Again, fate was robbing something she decided, against all odds, to trust and love and hold close to her heart.

I am thankful everyday that you said yes and chose to marry me, despite how angry I make you. You made me feel worthy. You accepted me unconditionally and pulled me into the light. I am proud and honoured to have been the man you love.

"Misaki-san, get out of there!"

She refused to turn around, making sure to get the last glimpse of their home before the smoke overtook her vision. She barely heard the loud crack or saw the looming silhouette that was swaying above her precariously. When the roof caved into the blaze and smoke overtook her home, she briefly turned around when another loud crack sounded. A flickered gaze above her allowed her see the wooden structure that was quickly descending down.

In that very moment, Misaki's entire mind was wiped clean of a single thought.

Love our child, the miracle created of our feelings, enough for the both of us and please, forgive me.

Written with all my love,
Usui Takumi.

This was it. Here, in front of the ashes of their home, her fate was sealed. Misaki closed her eyes and prayed. Because there was no way out of this mess and in her moment of selfishness, clarity finally dawned on her. Misaki could feel every second of her the time left for her, every breath that passed. She realized that had failed the last thing Takumi had asked of her. She could feel the heat of her end. In a moment of foolish irrationality, she failed both Takumi and their children. And now she would pay the price with her life.

"MISAKI!"


Author's Note: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE READ THE First Sign of Sleeping FAQ ON MY PROFILE BEFORE CONTINUING TO THE NEXT CHAPTER. It should help clear up any questions and/or misunderstandings you may have regarding the story as you read Chapter 1. Thank you very much in advance!

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