Mudblood! Lily could not keep the memory of his voice out of her mind. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't stop remembering what had happened today. Mudblood, Mudblood, Mudblood. He wasn't her Sev anymore, the Sev she had met in a dusty playground scorched by the summer sun so long ago. She'd known it for a long time now, but she hadn't wanted to realize who he'd become.
Lily remembered another memory, a cool, peaceful, green one. "Does it make a difference, being Muggle-born?" she had asked him, when they were lying under that tree, Sev telling her all about Hogwarts. "No. It doesn't make any difference." he had said. She had been worrying about that, being different from everyone else. He'd reassured her back then, and now he was the one insulting her for it.
Lily tossed and turned in her bed, remembering his face an hour ago, when he had tried to apologize. Sev had even come to Gryffindor Tower. Lily wondered why he had bothered to apologize; she knew it was what he truly thought of people with her blood status. But no matter how many times he said sorry, it still wouldn't change a thing. She'd pretended it hadn't hurt, but it did. Lily had pitied him, alone, awkward, stumbling through life with barely any friends. She couldn't now. He'd brought it upon himself. If she had hoped to change him, to guide him through life, to make him happier, there was no chance of that now.
There were a few times when she thought she might have drifted off, but when dawn came she rose, tired, bleary eyed, yawning from lack of sleep. Lily purposely stayed in her bed as long as she could; she didn't want to talk to anyone. She quickly dressed and grabbed her books, running out of the empty dormitory. A few sixth and seventh years who didn't have class lingered in the Common Room. Lily rushed down to the Great Hall and stumbled into a seat by her friends, snatching up a piece of toast.
"Had a long sleep?" Mary asked distractedly as Lily crammed the slice of toast in her mouth. Mary had her notes out and was feverishly studying for their Transfiguration O.W.L. that would be held later in the day.
"I was just tired from all that studying," Lily said. It was really only a half lie.
"Sure you were," Cynthia pounced at the opportunity. "I heard you last night. What was all that about with Snape?"
"He came to apologize. For yesterday." Lily sighed. "I wouldn't have talked to him, but he was threatening to sleep outside."
"Good! Don't talk to him ever again!" Cynthia said loudly. "That disgusting, greasy, snivelling pig!"
"Keep your voice down!"Lily shushed her. "Nobody needs to know everything about my life!"
Mary looked up. "Why was he so desperate to speak to you last night as well? It was so late. Almost everyone had gone to bed, it was just me and some random seventh years in the common room."
"I have no idea, and I don't really care." Lily said curtly. "I'm not going to talk to him ever again."
"He's always seemed a bit desperate to talk to you." Mary observed thoughtfully.
"That's because he's just plain creepy." Cynthia said scornfully. "He obviously doesn't care about you. If he did, he wouldn't have called you that!"
It hurt to think about that. Lily missed the old Sev; she didn't care for the new one. Lily wanted so badly to believe that he was still the same person she had met long ago in that dusty, hot, sun-baked playground. But she knew he wasn't.
"Good morning, Evans," said someone nonchalantly from behind her as he passed by the table. Lily knew who it was. She ignored James Potter as she always did. Every morning he greeted her when she came down to breakfast. She'd stopped paying attention a long time ago. It had become something of a routine.
Out of habit, Lily glanced over at the Slytherin table. Sev was engrossed in his notes, not taking notice of anything else, his breakfast only half eaten. Lily felt a slight jump in her stomach when she remembered what had happened yesterday. Mudblood. She shook herself.
"Can we go?" Lily asked, breaking the silence. "It's nice outside and we'll be in here almost all day anyways for the exam."
Mary looked up. "You've barely had anything to eat."
"Just nerves. I can't eat anything else." Lily said. "Please?"
"Yes, let's." Cynthia jumped up. "At least this one's the last exam, and then we can go home and not worry about the results until July!"
Lily hastily gathered up her notes and stuffed them haphazardly into her bag. She tapped her foot impatiently while she waited for Cynthia and Mary to gather up their belongings. I hope Sev doesn't notice me, she thought. She really didn't want to talk to him.
Too late. He looked up at the sound of Cynthia's loud voice and his eyes met Lily's. For a second, they looked at each other, his surprised black ones meeting her green ones, until Lily quickly looked away. Out of the corner of her eye, Lily saw him get up from his seat.
"Hurry up! Sev is coming over here and I don't want to talk to him!" Lily said, annoyed. She turned and strode quickly from the Great Hall, Cynthia and Mary following behind her. She walked briskly down to their customary tree by the lake.
"Trying to stay away from him now?" Cynthia questioned Lily.
"Obviously. You would be too."
"Good!" said Cynthia loudly. "He's horrible. I don't even know why you were friends with him in the first place."
Lily sighed. "He was my best friend. You honestly don't know what he was like. He was so much nicer before he came to Hogwarts."
"He's friends with Mulciber." Mary shivered as she said it. She never liked talking about what Mulciber had attacked her with, and her friends were kind enough to not mention it.
"You should have ditched him long ago. He's no good, that's what we've always been telling you." Cynthia told her.
"Maybe I should have," Lily said, wondering what would have happened if she had.
"He's just a scumbag! Anyone who talks to one of my friends like that deserves to suffer!" Cynthia went off into one of her long rants about Sev, Mulciber, and Dark Magic in general. Lily only half listened, reviewing her notes instead. She was glad to have so much studying to do, something to concentrate on. Anything to keep her mind away from what had happened yesterday.
After a while, Mary spoke up. "We should go now. Otherwise, we'll be late."
"We've got plenty of time," Cynthia grumbled.
"You're always late. I never am." Mary told her. They set off for the Great Hall again, to take their Transfiguration O.W.L. All the fifth years were gathered outside, feverishly reciting lists of incantations and laws.
"Hello, Evans," James said pleasantly.
"Go away, Potter. You're so desperate it's painful to watch." Lily said without looking at him.
"Only for you."
"I don't care. I'll never go out with you as long as I live." The doors of the Great Hall opened and Lily swept through them, trying to put as much distance between her and James Potter.
