First time writing fan fiction, please be forgiving of my many mistakes. This is something I wanted to do for Harry to let him get his petty revenge, similar to Naruto pranking the villagers in Konoha. But I do not want to make him an evil, malicious person, just someone who does things to survive. Please read and think of what you would have done in Harry's shoes, that is what I am doing.

This fanfic may belong to me but Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling!


It was dark, there was a musty smell surrounding him, and it was cramped. Little Harry woke up slowly to another depressing morning and imagined himself away from this living hell, his cupboard of dankness. This was his 'room', using the dim light coming in from the vent escape, he peered up and re-read the sign on his cupboard door, "Harry's Room" was on it written in crayon. He wrote that when he was only 4 years old, when he still didn't know that cupboards were for storing things in, not sleeping in. This place wasn't his home but he couldn't go anywhere else, he was only 7 years old and did not have an income. At his young age, Harry Potter was already jaded and felt old in a young body. He swore to himself again for the millionth time that he will escape from this hell and go to where no one can enslave him ever again.

He laid there thinking about running away again and delving into the questions of; "How can he prepare to runaway and what should he do for money? What is he going to do today to prank Dudley?", and many more questions about life in general. He knew he was smart, but he couldn't show it because his uncle and aunt wouldn't let him eat if he gets higher grades than their fat idiot of a bully son. He had been praised before by his teachers for his cleverness but that was put to a stop quickly by his atrocious uncle and aunt.

His aunt and uncle spread malicious rumors around the neighborhood and school about him: cheating, stealing, bullying kids and etc. All the nasty fake rumors was then spread all around instantly by the horrible gossipy bird ladies from his neighborhood. Parents told their kids to avoid him, teachers believed the parents instantly when they went to complain about Harry. When Harry went to school the next time, everyones' heads were filled with misconceptions about him and their eyes were filled with mistrust and wariness. "Idiot sheep, they believe everything they're told", were Harry's thoughts when he recounted his memories about the past years. He didn't blame them, they just weren't very smart, letting people dictate their minds for them.

Now, 2 years later after the rumors began, he hadn't shown his cleverness ever again and kept it hidden inside and locked away. Harry was always calculating on how to get grades a tad lower than Dudley's and that was tough, considering Dudley was dumber than any existence in the universe and that was just insulting to other lifeforms. His teachers still eyed him warily, though they knew he was the one being bullied, not the other way around. He couldn't and wouldn't count on adults, they're useless, and he hopes that he will never be as mindless as them when he grows up. NO ONE will ever control him, nor manipulate him into doing anything he doesn't want to do. One of his mottos' was, "Never trust anyone, until they can prove themselves worthy and sign a contract." He read many novels about someone betraying their friend or family for something insignificant and petty. He read the fairytales too, something he will never get and understand was a Happily Ever After. That wasn't real, HEA's are only believed by fools and people who live in fantasies.

Then, one day he finally read an informative and useful book that changed him, he had something he wanted to achieve. He decided to become a lawyer and it was never too early to get a head start. Now this guy, Ace, from the book was amazing, he used his silver tongue to cut people down, he used his knowledge and cunning to manipulate others. This guy was his life goal, no one controlled him nor did they want to go against him, he was the law and he was the judge who could balance the scales or tip them. Harry read the whole series and decided to read all the books on law that he could get from the library. He went to used book stores to check if there were any useful books that he could get cheaply from his stolen money. His relatives had exclaimed he was a thieve to everyone, so a thieve he did become, steal he did, though only from them and Dudley. He was good at it, no one ever saw him, it was like he was invisible. He stole food, he stole toys, money, expensive jewelry and sold them all off to the pawnshop. These idiots were easy pickings, since their money and jewelry was just lying all around. Dudley's room had loads of things worth quite a lot of cash and there were bills and coins lying all around in his dirty pig sty. He thanked the gods once again for his lazy relatives, their carelessness and stupidity.


Harry usually went to the library when Dudley and his gang went 'Harry Hunting', thankfully his fat cousin couldn't run as fast as him. Harry was sneaky, he knew how to hide and what routes could let him escape quickly from the Chub gang. During the times he went to the library he had read many books, manga or comic books, thesauruses, looked over the maps of the world and his town, memorizing everything easily. He could remember everything he read and could quickly pull it out of his mind the instant he needed to access the information he needed. The Naruto manga he read taught him how to get back at his cousin and his bully friends and plan his escape routes whenever he needed a quick getaway. Everyday he would prepare some sort of prank that would be aimed at his most hated bullies. He had cried for Naruto, for how similar their lives were, their hardship. Naruto was an existence that was pitiful but he stayed happy. Though Naruto was probably wearing a fake mask of happiness, no one could stay that happy and oblivious from all the pain and glares. Harry had become jaded from all the misgivings and from no one helping him. "You can only save yourself through your own actions," was something he believed in. No one would ever help without something in return, that was his reality.

His Aunt Petunia, the only one who is actually blood related to him, treats him like an indentured servant. He was designated most of the chores in the house and in return he only gets a measly meal, some more verbal abuse about his uselessness and slowness. His aunt says he's supposed to do the chores for living in their house; he has to garden, cook, wash laundry and clean the house. He was used to all this but he swears that one day he will come back and torture them with his pranks everyday till they die. The Fat Whale, Uncle 'Fattiness' Vernon, always yell at him, pushed him around and beat him. Whenever he stood up for himself he would get thrown into the cupboard and no meal for that day or days. So he learned to sneak out of the cupboard and steal their nonperishable food to eat. Their son, the nasty Baby Whale, Dudley 'Duddykins', was an enormous bully who uses him as his punching bag. He knew no one would ever come rescue him. He had cried, screamed and begged for help before yet no one offered a hand to help him. Not his teachers at his elementary school, not his neighbors who saw him being pushed around and abused, not even his classmates who let him be bullied.

Harry slowly got out of his cupboard and headed towards the kitchen to prepare the meals for the fatties and giraffe. He wish he could poison them with rat poison or laundry detergent but that could be discovered easily by forensics. Instead of doing that, today he had added some itching powder into Dudley's underwear he was going to wear today. Laid out a smaller pair of pants and shirt for his uncle and switched the size tags, his watch was set with an alarm that was tweaked to ring every half hour while at work. His aunt, now she got the best, all the sugar and salt were switched, laundry detergent was mixed with some itching powder and her shampoo and conditioner had been mixed with grey hair dye. Today he decided to add a small amount of laxatives in their pancakes, their orange juice was mixed with some expired milk and a bit of leftover egg yolk. This was a meal to guarantee stomaches all around and he wouldn't be suspected, his aunt would just blame the grocers for selling bad stuff again. Harry laughed inside again and thanked his relatives for being so stupid to not notice he was pranking them. Today was still going to be unbearable but he was getting a little revenge on them at least.