A/N:
For SecondStarOnTheLeft. I know, I know, I should be working on His Mother's Son. And I am, I promise. But I am trying to incorporate some of the constructive feedback I recieved and so everything is slow going. Also, Roslin plotbunnies everywhere. This is angsty...The raven arrived from the Wall in the morning. It had been written in Samwell Tarly's hand. She had known even before Robb told her it's contents what it would say. She had known, somewhere inside her heart, the moment he had left her, left their children. Of course the children only thought that they were grieving for an uncle. Well, perhaps Benjen knew, her dear, sweet quiet boy who was so like his father it made her wonder that no one had said anything about it. He had Jon's ability to see things that other people didn't.
She thought that perhaps, the fact that all of Jeyne's children were dark like she was, save for Robb's bright, Tully blue eyes, was the reason that no one took notice of the fact that her eldest child and her youngest were the only ones of her children who looked like their supposed father. That her other three were more Stark than anything else seemed to slip past the eyes of the court. But then, people see what they wish to see, that much has always been true.
The first time she met Jon, she was six moons into her pregnancy with Edd.
She was standing beside her husband in the yard when the Lord Commander of the Night's Watch and his men rode in. Jeyne had not been there, Robb may have brought her and her newborn son to Winterfell but he at least had the decency to keep her away during important occasions such as this. She had still been acutely aware of the fact that it was Jeyne that her husband would rather be introducing to his brother as his queen, not his little Frey wife who he had wed for a bridge.
She'd watched as her good brother leaped down from his horse, laughing as he embraced Robb with vigor.
"I heard you were captured by wildlings and lived to tell the tale!" Her husband said, his voice filled with joy at the sight of his brother. "I guess you were right brother, we Starks are rather hard to kill."
Her good brother smiled. "I'm no Stark Robb." "Oh really? I believe I signed a paper that says otherwise."
Jon looked as though he would say something in return, but then his grey eyes caught her's and he stilled. Robb looked back and motioned her forward with a tight smile.
"Ah, yes. Jon this is Roslin, my... my wife. Roslin dearest, this is Jon."
She extended her hand "Welcome back to Winterfell Commander Snow, it is pleasure to have you with us. I'm sure you have missed your home."
Jon kissed her hand and smiled, "The Wall is my home now, but yes, I have missed Winterfell. And if I may say your Grace, my brother is a lucky man indeed to have such a lovely queen."
'It would seem as though you are the only one who thinks so my Lord' She thought to herself. Outwardly, she smiled and thanked her good brother for his complement. She knew that he would see the truth of her marriage to the King in the North before the night was through.
That night, a feast had been held in Jon's honor. Jeyne never sat beside Robb during the meals, Robb had the good sense at least not to undermine her position as queen by honoring his mistress above her, but that night Robb had left the daise to retrieve Jeyne and her son. Roslin had sat as still as stone as the entire hall watched him bring Jeyne Westerling and her son up to the daise to introduce them to his brother. Robb had made a point to never show any public displays of affection towards Jeyne. There was an unspoken agreement between them, she would turn a blind eye to the fact that he was sharing another woman's bed, and he would keep his desire for her hidden behind locked doors and in the back hallways of the castle. That he would suddenly break their agreement and introduce Jeyne and her son to Jon in front of the entire court was humiliating. Beside her, Sansa had reached over to take her by the hand.
"Jon! This is Lady Jeyne Westerling of the Craig. Jeyne, this is my brother Jon Snow, the Lord Commander of the Night's Watch."
Jeyne smiled and curtsied as Jon looked at her curiously. "It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance my lord. Robb speaks of you quite often."
Jon's eyebrows raised at Jeyne's obvious familiarity with his brother. Roslin wondered that he didn't know who she was. She thought that everyone had heard the stories of the King in the North's Westerling whore, who he had brought to Winterfell because he preferred her company over that of his wife, who is obviously the true Queen in the North, not the timid little Frey of the Twins who he so readily casts aside. She thought everyone knew that it is widely believed that it would be better for Queen Roslin to die in the birthing bed when her time comes rather than live in such shame.
But Jon obviously didn't, he'd obviously thought that he would come to Winterfell and see his brother happily married with an heir on the way. And now as Robb introduces Jeyne's son Brandon, a babe of six months, she sees the understanding dawn in his eyes and then a brief flash of shock and disappointment mixed with anger before he hides his emotions behind a mask of ice.
She had heard about the fight the two of them had had that night, Jon yelling at his brother about honor and duty and what their Father would have said, with Robb yelling right back about how their father would have understood (She'd heard that Lady Cat had gone white at that, her lips pursed and fists clenched as she'd left the room) and that Jon should understand as well.
She had wondered at that herself, why Jon was siding with her and Lady Cat when Jeyne and her child were in the same position that he and his mother had been in.
She was able to ask him herself the next day.
It was becoming more and more difficult to go about her duties each day as her pregnancy progressed. Lady Cat had suggested that she relinquish her duites and rest more, but Roslin was not about to do that. Her husband may love and honor another woman, but she is still Queen in the North and she will not have it said that she doesn't do her duty. She may be her mother's child, but if she ever inherited one thing from her father it was pride. She would not be pitied.
As she left the kitchens, having just finished discussing the preparations for the evening meal, she stopped a moment to lean against the wall and and catch her breath. She ran her hand over her swollen belly as the babe kicked at her again. Once she regained her strength she began to make her way to the laundry, only to stop short as she turned a corner to find her husband pushing Jeyne up against a wall, kissing her passionately as he pulled her skirts up.
She immediately turned back around, moving as fast as she could in the opposite direction (which wasn't very fast in her condition) trying to ignore the passionate moans coming from the corridor behind her. Suddenly, the door in front of her opened and she ran smack into Jon Snow.
"Your Grace? Are you well? You look pale." Jon said as he reached for her arms as though to guide her in the direction of a chair (there weren't any, but it was the thought that counted.)
"I'm fine Commander, it is nothing truely." Roslin said, then closed her eyes as the sound of Jeyne's cry of "Oh Robb!" echoed down the corridor.
There was a flash of understanding in Jon's eyes and suddenly her good brother looked as ill as she felt.
Jon made to move in the direction the sounds were coming from, but Roslin put her hand on his chest to stop him. "Don't Jon, It doesn't matter." She steeled herself under his gaze, she would not be pitied. Robb may love another woman and she may only be the sixth daughter of Walder Frey, but she was Queen in the North and she was stronger than she seemed. "It won't help anything. Just...help me? I feel tired, I need to rest. Help me to my solar, please."
It took some time, but they finally reached her rooms. Jon helped her to her chair than stood awkwardly before her, as though unsure of what to do next. Smiling, she motioned for him to take a seat.
She took up her sewing as he sat down, and she tried to focus on her work as Jon fidgeted beside her. Finally, Jon asked, "Is it for the babe?", motioning toward the blanket in her hands.
"Aye, it is." She said smiling, spreading it out over what was left of her lap so he could see.
Jon ran his fingers over the quilt. She had been quite creative with the pattern. The background was the blue sky and white snow, with the grey towers of the Twins. In front of the towers was a howling grey direwolf. Jon smiled, "It looks like Grey Wind."
Roslin nodded, pleased with herself. Grey Wind liked her well enough, even if his master didn't. Jeyne had never taken to the wolves, but Grey Wind and Shaggy Dog would sit by her feet as she sewed, went over the inventory and supplies, or simply enjoyed a good book. Now that Jon's Ghost was here though, the wolves were spending a great deal of time in the Godswood. She rather missed her companions though.
"Do you like it?" She asked.
"It will be perfect for him." Jon said as he gave her a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.
Roslin sighed as she folded the blanket back up. She knew Jon was pitying her now, that he was wondering how she could bear to sit here sewing a blanket for a child whose father was currently in some back hall making love to another woman.
"Do you know the story of why I married Robb?"
Jon looked uncomfortable. "The deal between my brother and your father yes? He would marry you when the war was done in exchange for passage?"
Roslin shook her head. "The deal was that he would marry one of my father's daughters. Up until the ending of the war, it was one of my nieces, Fair Walda, who was going to wed him."
"What happened?" Jon asked, suprised. He had not heard the story then.
"My brother Olyvar was Robb's squire. He threw himself between Robb and an arrow at the Battle for Kings Landing. Robb came to see him on his death bed, asked him if there was anything he could do. Olyvar said 'Marry my sister. Her name is Roslin, and she deserves better than the life my father would give her.'" Roslin looked down at her hands, "Sometimes I wish he hadn't asked that."
"He must have loved you very much, to think of you in that moment." Jon said awkwardly.
"Yes he did. And I loved him." She looked back up at her good brother. "You remind me of him." Jon blushed.
"Robb married me for Olyvar's sake. He married me under the assumption that he was rescuing me from some horrible life of servitude. Which, perhaps he was. But I would rather have servitude and have love, than to be Queen in the North and have a husband who gives all of his love to someone else." She felt bold, rash even to be telling Jon these things. She never showed her weakness to Sansa or to Lady Cat. They pitied her enough, she did not need anymore of their pity. But when she looked into Jon's eyes, she didn't see pity. She saw someone who understood.
"Why do you care? About how Robb treats me, how he behaves with Jeyne, why do you care?" She caught his eye, "I would have thought that you of all people would understand his desire to keep her and Brandon close."
Jon flushes and turns away. He gets up to move towards the door and she thinks that maybe she'd offended him.
"My father may have brought me home from Dorne. But he did not bring my mother home."
They say that Ashara Dayne threw herself into the sea after your father left with you. Perhaps Robb wished to prevent such a tragedy."
Jon looks at her for a long moment, "Perhaps he did. But that doesn't make it right. You are his wife, not Jeyne Westerling."
That had been the moment that sealed their friendship, which sealed their fate. Jon was her friend and confident, her one ally who she could truly rely on.
It had been innocent at first. He was her friend. Nothing more.
She hadn't meant to fall in love with him.
A/N 2: For anyone who feels that Robb is being portrayed in an unrealistic light: I am one of those people who believe that a man can be a good man and still be an idiot. Robb to me seems like the person who will try to do the right thing, but still be led astray by his own feelings.
The next chapter will be from his point of view.
