Title: Alternate Ending
Author: FloppyWandedDementoBuggerer
Rating: M for certain relationships.
Pairings: Voldemort/Harry
Genre: Parody/Humor
Warnings: Homosexual relationship.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
Summary: What if, in the end, Voldemort didn't kill Harry? What if they were both just acting the whole time...? Harry/Voldemort "My lord?!" "Harry?!"
It was the middle of the final battle of Hogwarts. All the Horcruxes were destroyed and Lord Voldemort stood merely ten feet before Harry. Tension was so thick you could pierce it with a dull spoon, and everyone was silently watching the scene.
Harry and Lord Voldemort both had their wands drawn, their moves could win or lose this war for either side. But who would say the curse first? Who would-
But suddenly, Harry began laughing. Heartily laughing! The war has gotten to him, he's lost it! He is insane! He- isn't the only one laughing.
The entire group watching the scene simultaneously turned their heads to see Lord Voldemort laughing now as well. Soon, they, Lord Voldemort and Harry, were hugging each other laughing, almost falling over each laughter.
"You- you were so good!" Harry barked out as tears of laughter went down his cheeks.
"I didn't know how much longer I could do this!" Lord Voldemort said laughing though far more composed than Harry.
They continued to laugh as everyone who was just so tense all relaxed, but, confusion was still a main theme.
"Er, what is going on, Harry?" Hermione asked shakily from afar.
"Oh, well, we called truce, actually. War's over!" Harry called to everyone, one hand cupped his mouth while the other was lazily over Lord Voldemort's shoulders, "You can all go home or to the infirmary!"
"What!? What about all the people who died?" Ron asked incredulously.
"Oh, that'll all ware off after a few hours. No one is dead." Lord Voldemort said with a smile, "Oh, look! Here comes Severus!"
Everyone turned to see Severus Snape limping up the path, very much alive.
"My lord?" He choked, "Potter? What-"
"War is over." Lord Voldemort said in a calm tone that carried across the field, "Harry and I made truce long ago, but kept up this charade until this evening. Everyone you thought dead is still alive and look-"
Everyone turned to see the top of Dumbledore's once broken coffin fall over and him sit up, stretch and look over at everyone with a dazed expression before stumbling out. Soon, all the fallen bodies began to sit up, or open their eyes or even walk up to their loved ones.
"What the-"
Everyone was silent again. They didn't know how to respond at all. Even the once deceased were confused.
"But- but- the war, Harry! The- the Horcruxes and all you said-"
"All a ploy," Harry said sheepishly and he shrugged a shoulder.
"And what about us, my lord?" Lucius Malfoy asked.
"Yeah, no more Death Eaters. No more 'world domination'," Lord Voldemort said doing actual finger quotes, "I'm just going to move to Oxford and live in a lovely little cottage with my significant other." He said with a smile to Harry, "Oh, and sorry about the Dark Marks... No way to remove those."
"Aww, so we are going to Oxford!?" Harry asked excitedly.
"Of course, love." Lord Voldemort said before he pulled Harry into a kiss.
