Fighting
Fire with Kindling
By
kiragecko
Prologue
He stands on the hill, empty. Not human, he thinks, less then worthless. Honorless. He wasn't there for her. Never there for her and now she's gone. Everyone who matters is gone. He looks back one last time and can't even find enough of his soul to cry. Then he gets on his Harley to drive away.
Kitty watches him go, in a way. She sees a man, standing on the hill, the great warrior looking back at his home one last time. She sees a man full of emotion searching for an outlet. She's sad because she had seen such progress before. He had been so much calmer, had so much more control.
It never occurs that there was simply nothing left to control.
They forget about him. He'll return, they know. There are fights to be fought, both with their enemies and with each other. They must see how much they can hurt Frost before she fulfills their expectations. They must train a new generation of children to set aside their desires and dreams and take up the Dream which never lets anyone go. Bobby, the only one who can still imagine real life, speaks to Jubilee, explaining how hard Wolverine took her speech. She allows herself to be convinced her Wolvy still cares even though she's human. She waits to tell him he's stupid when he gets back.
He travels back roads and drinks himself penniless. Starts trapping at his cabin so he can buy more booze. He finds that if he doesn't eat his healing factor is slower in rejecting the alcohol. If it's taxed with other problems it's even slower…
Part One
The sky blazes with gold. She descends in majesty, smiling at her friends, ready to live again. There are cries of joy and she is surrounded by those that have missed her. She missed them, as well. Somehow she thought this would be easier, but now, as she looks around and notices Scott's absence she realizes that she was foolish. He will be with HER. Her smile wavers and she asks to rest. What now?
Scott is almost delirious with joy. Jean is back! He paces the room, trying to figure out what to say. It won't be easy, but this will work, it has to!
"You could start by saying goodbye to me."
The voice is soft, almost vulnerable. The world crashes about him. He remembers the Phoenix's last return, how he told her it was over. He remembers Emma risking everything to stop her.
"I'm sorry, Emma, she was my first love."
"You can go, Summers. I won't stop you."
Cool now, vulnerability firmly buried. He, mistakenly, doesn't wonder why she's letting him go so easily. Doesn't think that she would simply sink her claws in deeper if this was just a game. His thoughts are filled with Jean even as he talks to Emma.
"I'm not leaving. I made my choice, Emma."
But he doesn't say he loves only her and Emma can see what's going on behind his eyes.
Like Piotr and Kitty, everyone knows that this is meant to be. Jean hangs back, not wanting to drag Scott somewhere he doesn't want to go. Scott hangs back, not wanting to break his word, abandon the woman he said he loved for the one he said he didn't. It's an empty gesture; she knows she has already been cast aside. She prepares to leave, quietly. Why cause a scene, when it would simply draw attention to her shame?
As Emma leaves her last Danger Room session the armor that has kept her alive so long cracks for a moment. It's been hard to keep up since she let Scott past it. He broke things and she let him. Now she is racing time to rebuild them. Soon, someone might notice. She can not afford to be without armor a moment with these harpies. She isn't fast enough.
"So, Frost, running out in the night?"
"You will be rid of me, at least."
Weak. She wants to cry, not fight this battle.
"Who says I want to be rid of you? Have you heard me complain about your lovely, scantily clad… sorry. Force of habit."
"Sorry?"
"Yes, I'm sorry. I was actually going to be nice, try not to hit you when you're down. I was going to trade 'Scott is a jerk' stories."
"Go away, Drake."
"You know, everyone wants them together. I can't figure it out. All the guys at the mansion wanted her and she's strung all of them along and then they cheer when the jerk gets her."
"Go away!"
"To tell you the truth, I'd rather you were here then Scott."
"Leave, you immature, whining, pathetic excuse for a man!"
"You always saw me as more then an immature, whining, pathetic excuse for a man. Actually, you saw me as exactly that, but saw room for improvement."
"Why are you here? Now? With me?"
"Because I think you're the most gorgeous woman in the world and I'm not sure if I can fight you if you return to the dark side. And that, of course, would cement their opinion of both of us."
She looks at him and sees yesterdays. All the love they shared together within her grasp. The perfect couple, a happily ever after. She's almost taken in. Then she remembers that Emma didn't steal him, he left long before. They hadn't been talking for a month before the affair started. She sees all the yesterdays. The fights, the distance, the link that shriveled because it had nothing to carry. She remembers giving her blessing and the fact that she had felt free. Why is she doing this?
She needs him. Jean remembers. She needs someone to need her. He couldn't function without her, couldn't feel, couldn't enjoy life, without her guiding him. He was broken and she made him whole. She needed that.
Did she ever love him? Did her heart ever burn with fire at the thought of him? Not really. She longed for his presence, worried when he wasn't there, enjoyed his foibles and quirks, liked doing things for him… everything for him. Boosting him when he was down, defending him when others spoke up, reassuring him when he felt worried. She loved to feel him reach out for her and he hadn't, before Emma, and she had been bitter. He had stood on his own, not needing, or wanting, the link, and that had been wrong. She had chosen him because he needed her and she couldn't say no to someone who needed her. She could have chosen someone else. Someone who caused her heart to leap and her breath to catch. Someone… who she hadn't seen since she arrived.
Abruptly Scott was out of her mind. What if He didn't know she was back? What if He had found someone else? What if He was dead?
"Logan? Oh, yeah, he headed north a couple months ago. Haven't heard from him in a while. Jubes lost her powers and had a fit because he didn't call fast enough."
"No, he hasn't called me. Usually doesn't. He might have phoned Jubilee - no, probably not. I think he's feeling guilty about her right now."
"I don't know where he is, mom. Miss Frost keeps track of that stuff."
"You want to know where Logan is? Why?"
"Do you want to sleep with me, Drake?"
"No. And no fair checking my fantasies, because everyone's in there at one time or another. I have decided that immediately getting into bed with the object of my affection is the reason I haven't had the best relationships. Wouldn't mind going out for dinner. I'd even settle for being your bouncing-back-from-bad-experience fling."
"Without the fling part."
"Oh. Yeah. Anyways, want to use me to escape the mansion? I promise no one will notice so you don't have to worry about settling-for-less comments."
"You are hardly 'less', Bobby."
"See, there you go doing it again. Thinking I'm human! What a novel idea. We really should have such conversations more often."
"Are you trying to get me to accept your date out of pity?"
"Whatever works. I'm already late for my Danger Room session. If you want to insult me more meet me in the garage at eight. At least you won't have to worry about another girl being interested.
"Oh, and by the way, if you actually want to talk to me you might want to wear some clothes. There's only so much the male mind can stand."
How do you put it nicely? After you dropped everything you cared about and ran into my arms I decided that I no longer want to play nurse maid and am headed off to find the only person I ever loved? Who is quite definitely not you? I mean, how can I say that to him? And how can I make it sound any better, even to myself?
Someone enters and I turn. The dead link suddenly springs to life at the wave of emotions and he gets them all. Oh, Scott! Don't give me that dead look. That's what I was afraid of. I don't mean it, Scott, I really don't. You need me, I'll stay, I promise.
Don't turn your back on me, Scott. I've only ever been dead without you. I don't know how to live alone.
Scott, please. I need you. Can't you see me curled up on the floor in tears? Turn around, come back. Forgive me those thoughts. I've forgiven you - for Maddie, for Betsy, for Emma. Forgive me Logan, Scott. I love him but I can live without him. I'll never look again. Just don't leave me staring at an empty doorway.
"Hello, Emma."
"Hello, Scott."
"What are you doing this evening?"
"How DARE you! Who do you think you are? I can handle that you don't love me, Scott Summers, and that you used me as a substitute for Her, but I will not tolerate this! I can forgive that you used me. If you actually think little enough of me to imagine I would tolerate being used that way knowingly, however, you are a worthless scrap of humanity that is asking to be expunged. If I weren't busy at the moment I would do so. Get out."
"I was trying to find a way to say sorry."
