A.N.

This was fun to write :) Ah procrastination

Disclaimer: I do not own Death note


Names have always had a special ability over people. They can define the very nature of a person, whether a person is kind or funny, it all comes from the subconscious, power of suggestion, started by a name.

At Wammy's we had the luxury of choosing our own names, the aliases which would affect us for the majority of our lives. Whether I knew it then or not, all of our names have become the very essence of who we are.

Take L. A single letter. It could stand for anything, love, lust, loathing. But of everything it could possibly stand for it came to stand for what he was. A loser.

Years of toiling, maddening nights of knowing that Kira was a few meters away with no proof what so ever and he ended up with nothing. The legacy of L died with him, no matter how hard Near tries to keep it going. The public may not know any different but we do. We'll always know that in the end L was as human and fragile as everyone else. His leadership stripped away from his soul until he was laid bare, easy pickings for ravenous psychos.

His name ended up being exactly what it stood for. A childish insult, fingers positioned in an L shape, placed on the forehead, with a childish taunt of 'Loser!'.

L's name had an unspoken advantage to Light's. L had the ability to choose his name, Light never had that privilege. It seems almost ironic that he became very much like a light. Well to be specific, more like an energy saving bulb. It starts of dull and slowly but surely grows to its full intensity. After a while the fuse simply can't take any more and it explodes, glass shards falling onto the unsuspecting person below.

Unfortunately for her, the person below was Misa. The glass from Light's world shattered above her, lacerations covered her skin in no time, bleeding out into a thick pool below her. She couldn't live without the glowing light above her. Light's shattering lead to her own demise.

It seems kind of ironic to me, all light fades in the end, leaving only darkness in it's wake. Light's soul was probably pure a long time ago. It only takes a single drop of darkness to infect the bright. Some people can repel it if their will is strong enough. Light's wasn't.

I find in most cases name's are very literal. Matt for example. He is a mat. People walk all over him and he just lays back and takes it like the little bitch he is. God knows I love him but he's a complete fucking idiot. Besides the literal ways he's like a mat (inanimateness normally, sometimes fuzziness when he hasn't shaved. Not to mention the rubber of his goggles that encapsulates him.) sometimes I can't help but think that maybe he's not like that at all.

Maybe his real name also helps determine who he is, two halves of the same whole. Matt's always goes the extra distance, always there when I need him. And whilst it's a terrible pun, he always goes the extra Mile. Just for me mainly.

However I know that he chose his because it sounded right. Mine I chose on purpose.

When I first came to England my English wasn't too good. I could speak it fine, but writing it was another matter. Mello is spelt wrong, I'm aware of that, however, it wasn't meant to be Mellow. It was meant to be Melow.

Split into two it spells Me Low. Forever skulking in the shadows, dangerous, low on the chain…well high on the wrong chain, the lower down chain.

I didn't expect it to turn into lower on the scores, but it did. Maybe Mehigh would've been a better name, maybe then the power of suggestion would've allowed me to over take Near. On some level I always knew that I would help near, be the lower down stepping stone for him to defeat Kira with.

I didn't want to resign myself to fate that had already been cast without me fully realising it, but it finally caught up with me.
But still, I would never alter my name. Not for all the money drugs and sex in the world. It's a irreplaceable part of the human experience and I love it.