Perfect Lie

Summary: One-shot. Chris, aged 21, muses on the world Wyatt built and how he feels. Fits in with the Catch My Fall universe. Spoilers up to Crime and Witch Demeaners.

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//Taint my mind just like my heart//

Lie.

It sounds like an awful word, really. Something we're taught not to do, something we're taught to fight against. It sounds so dirty and wrong, so flawed.

But sometimes, it's the truth that's flawed.

//Tease me, bleed me and make me fall apart//

Sometimes, the truth can make you hurt in way that you didn't know you could. It can make you do horrible things, to drown in your own tears with no fall back to rely on.

So then, isn't the lie better?

Isn't it better to live in a world where nothing is real if you don't have to hurt? If you don't have to remember? If you could just make it go away?

//All you do is torment and abuse//

I don't forget though. No matter how much I try and block out the cries of suffering and pain, everywhere I look, there's darkness taking over.

A darkness with your face painted upon it.

//Hit me over and over till I bruise//

I don't think you realise how much it hurts to see you. To see the truth that's been staring me in the face for so long. Maybe you thought you could make me blind to it. A part of me wishes you could.

//Tie me down and paint the lies//

Maybe I could stay then and live in your web of lies. If they were convincing enough. If only you could make me believe in your cause and not see the immorality – the evil - in it. If only I'd stayed in the shadows and would have never known the pain you cause.

If Only.

//Take the certainty in my eyes//

For now, I know I have to walk away. Otherwise, it'll tear me apart inside. Maybe that's what happened to you when they died.

Did it kill you too? //Lie to me and keep your black reality//

The perfect world you tried to create for me is endearing and I know that in some part of your mind, you thought it was what was best for me. The normal life Mom always talked about. And I think that I would have been happier never knowing. But now I do, I'll never be the same. No doubt that I'll always love you.

But I just can't stay here to end up like you.

//Grasp for my hand and never let go of me//

I have to run as fast I can before I can convince myself with your lies. Before you can keep me by poisoning me again, without knowing you're doing it.

Or maybe you do.

Maybe you think it's the only way.

//Poison me for one more day//

Why didn't you come to me and cry if you needed to? I'm stronger than I look and I could have bared the pain, shouldered your burden, if it meant my life.

If it meant my brother.

//It's your only chance to make me stay//

That's all gone now.

Swept away by the control you've forced on not only me, but the city, the magic realm and beyond. I won't let you take over me because now I understand what's going on. I need to help you.

Maybe I need to kill you.

//Your perfect deceit makes me want to live blind//

I can't.

You know I can't. The world in which you walk, the path I'm walking now, it did this to you. I just have to save you. To make everything perfect again.

//The truth is just too dirty to find//

Or I could just go back to you and ask you for the one thing that could make this alright.

I could ask you to lie to me.

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A/N: Any good? A little angst-y I know, but I imagine that's how it would feel. Thank you to Kaiyote and her fics "All for You" and "House of Shame" which gave me the ideas to go on. The poem used and was inspiring enough that I wrote this is called 'Sweet Lies'.