Cat had always loved mermaids.
Watching Ariels long hair billow
around her slender body
untouched by the harsh salt water
unaffected by pollution and seaweed
and all of the bad things of the ocean
that her daddy reminded her of
when she asked to go
The blue eyes that screamed of a lost era of innocence
Her smile
Cat had always loved mermaids
When she was younger
she would sit in the bath
listening to the walls
that mother and father built
with their screams
the barricades that blocked out love
and only allowed hate inside
and she would do what she was good at
pretend
holding her breath
and dissapearing
into a quiet world
a beautiful world
a world where anything could happen.
a world where her tail flipped
her scales shined
Of course
she was only sitting in a bathtub
the realization coming with a heavy heart
as she came up for air
the white tiled bathroom
the floor of which covered with dirty clothes of all sizes
drifted into focus
and the visions in her head
of beautiful woman
happy woman
went away
Cat had always loved mermaids
which was why
when Robbie asked if she would go to the beach
she nodded enthusiastically
conjoured images flashing through her mind
ones of salty ocean seawater
beautiful bathing suits
a huge smile on her face
as she lived out her dreams
She couldn't be happier if she tried
Cat had always loved mermaids
she woke up at seven that morning
even though they were leaving at 11
her hair perfectly done
her bikini picked out to look specifically like
one of her sisters of the deep
she didn't know it was a date
until the flowers were thrust into her hands
and then
though the situation became slightly awkward
Cat couldn't help but melt
Cat loved both mermaids, and Robbie
They were on the sand
sprawled out on beach towels
discussing life
and Cat couldn't help wonder
about the walls her parents built long ago
Would these walls appear soon
between her and Robbie
tears spotting otherwise perfect cheeks
hateful words built up with morter and stone
She hoped not
but pulled away slightly
wishing for a second that she never accepted the flowers
Cat had always loved mermaids
She wanted to go swimming
pleaded with her new boyfriend
ached to get close to the deep
press her thighs together
swim like one of her own
pretend to be a magical creature
and not a five foot nothing weirdo
who went to a performing arts school
Robbie however
wanted to tan
and told her he would watch her
as she jumped around in the frothy waves
The words filled the air with the undetectable scent
of the biggest mistake of their lives.
Excited to show off her swimsuit
she obliged
Cat had always loved mermaids.
She thought she had a grip on the situation
her toes were dug into the sand
leaving her mark on the earth
and she giggled everytime the cold water
splashed up and hit her chest
However, she wanted to go deeper
it was a beautiful day outside
why shouldn't she enjoy it
and so
Cat Valentine
soon to be missing body
swam out further
towards the unidentifiable blandness of the deep sea.
Had she known anything about protecting herself
she would have known
that the waves got higher
the further you went out
However Cat didn't know
Cat lost her footing.
Her legs slipped out from under her
as a titan of a wave swallowed the short girl whole.
She tried to scream
but the sound was suffocated
by bubbles
and froth
and the taste of salt
made her hate herself
for ever loving mermaids.
She kicked and fought
as the waves hit her in an
endless barrage
calm to the rest of the world
but a torture chamber
for the poor little singer
Cat had always loved mermaids
Her vision went blurry
and she realized
with a heavy heart
and lungs filled with frothy water
that this would likely be the last time
she ever saw her boyfriend again
She fought as another wave
smashed into her
her bathing suit stuck to her skin
her skin freezing
her life slipping away
through pallid blue lips
Not a long time after
she awoke to a sharp pain
which immediately struck her as odd
dead woman didn't have pain
dead woman didn't awaken
She wasn't dead
Though the searing pain in her legs
made her wish she was
The sound of bones ripping through flesh
much like one would rip a pair of jeans
reverberated through the ocean
and with a small cry
Cat realized her leg bones had broken
Looking down in horror
she noticed the bones moving inward
hungry to fuse with the other
a desperate hunger that somehow hurt Cat
even after death.
Her legs would no longer carry her through dance class
Her legs would never get to be shown off in pretty dresses
and most importantly
to her
her leg would never be touched by the one she thought she loved
Once her legs had fused together
she noticed her hair
brittle
dry
much like her mothers after the divorce
when she refused to eat
and lost so much weight
and custody of Cat for a while
The sea water
had turned beautiful hair
into dry
seaweed infested tangles
Pulling the ocean plant
out of her velvet red locks
Cat threw it all to the ocean floor
realizing
as she looked at her hand
that something was horribly wrong
While her skin was pale before
it was positively white now
they learned about this in school
in one of the classes
Cat never paid attention in
when you leave a fish in complete darkness
it becomes translucent
And indeed
Cat found that she could see every trail of vein
frm her wrist to her shoulder
and from her neck to her chin
thinking back to that class
and what Robbie said
when he tutored her
her eyes must have been jet black
a horrifying mixture
and not at all the creature
she once thought she would be
Cat had always loved mermaids.
And now, with her brittle hair
translucent skin
cracked lips like dry river beds
and black eyes
she was one.
Just not the mermaid she imagined.
