Cat had always loved mermaids.

Watching Ariels long hair billow

around her slender body

untouched by the harsh salt water

unaffected by pollution and seaweed

and all of the bad things of the ocean

that her daddy reminded her of

when she asked to go

The blue eyes that screamed of a lost era of innocence

Her smile

Cat had always loved mermaids

When she was younger

she would sit in the bath

listening to the walls

that mother and father built

with their screams

the barricades that blocked out love

and only allowed hate inside

and she would do what she was good at

pretend

holding her breath

and dissapearing

into a quiet world

a beautiful world

a world where anything could happen.

a world where her tail flipped

her scales shined

Of course

she was only sitting in a bathtub

the realization coming with a heavy heart

as she came up for air

the white tiled bathroom

the floor of which covered with dirty clothes of all sizes

drifted into focus

and the visions in her head

of beautiful woman

happy woman

went away

Cat had always loved mermaids

which was why

when Robbie asked if she would go to the beach

she nodded enthusiastically

conjoured images flashing through her mind

ones of salty ocean seawater

beautiful bathing suits

a huge smile on her face

as she lived out her dreams

She couldn't be happier if she tried

Cat had always loved mermaids

she woke up at seven that morning

even though they were leaving at 11

her hair perfectly done

her bikini picked out to look specifically like

one of her sisters of the deep

she didn't know it was a date

until the flowers were thrust into her hands

and then

though the situation became slightly awkward

Cat couldn't help but melt

Cat loved both mermaids, and Robbie

They were on the sand

sprawled out on beach towels

discussing life

and Cat couldn't help wonder

about the walls her parents built long ago

Would these walls appear soon

between her and Robbie

tears spotting otherwise perfect cheeks

hateful words built up with morter and stone

She hoped not

but pulled away slightly

wishing for a second that she never accepted the flowers

Cat had always loved mermaids

She wanted to go swimming

pleaded with her new boyfriend

ached to get close to the deep

press her thighs together

swim like one of her own

pretend to be a magical creature

and not a five foot nothing weirdo

who went to a performing arts school

Robbie however

wanted to tan

and told her he would watch her

as she jumped around in the frothy waves

The words filled the air with the undetectable scent

of the biggest mistake of their lives.

Excited to show off her swimsuit

she obliged

Cat had always loved mermaids.

She thought she had a grip on the situation

her toes were dug into the sand

leaving her mark on the earth

and she giggled everytime the cold water

splashed up and hit her chest

However, she wanted to go deeper

it was a beautiful day outside

why shouldn't she enjoy it

and so

Cat Valentine

soon to be missing body

swam out further

towards the unidentifiable blandness of the deep sea.

Had she known anything about protecting herself

she would have known

that the waves got higher

the further you went out

However Cat didn't know

Cat lost her footing.

Her legs slipped out from under her

as a titan of a wave swallowed the short girl whole.

She tried to scream

but the sound was suffocated

by bubbles

and froth

and the taste of salt

made her hate herself

for ever loving mermaids.

She kicked and fought

as the waves hit her in an

endless barrage

calm to the rest of the world

but a torture chamber

for the poor little singer

Cat had always loved mermaids

Her vision went blurry

and she realized

with a heavy heart

and lungs filled with frothy water

that this would likely be the last time

she ever saw her boyfriend again

She fought as another wave

smashed into her

her bathing suit stuck to her skin

her skin freezing

her life slipping away

through pallid blue lips

Not a long time after

she awoke to a sharp pain

which immediately struck her as odd

dead woman didn't have pain

dead woman didn't awaken

She wasn't dead

Though the searing pain in her legs

made her wish she was

The sound of bones ripping through flesh

much like one would rip a pair of jeans

reverberated through the ocean

and with a small cry

Cat realized her leg bones had broken

Looking down in horror

she noticed the bones moving inward

hungry to fuse with the other

a desperate hunger that somehow hurt Cat

even after death.

Her legs would no longer carry her through dance class

Her legs would never get to be shown off in pretty dresses

and most importantly

to her

her leg would never be touched by the one she thought she loved

Once her legs had fused together

she noticed her hair

brittle

dry

much like her mothers after the divorce

when she refused to eat

and lost so much weight

and custody of Cat for a while

The sea water

had turned beautiful hair

into dry

seaweed infested tangles

Pulling the ocean plant

out of her velvet red locks

Cat threw it all to the ocean floor

realizing

as she looked at her hand

that something was horribly wrong

While her skin was pale before

it was positively white now

they learned about this in school

in one of the classes

Cat never paid attention in

when you leave a fish in complete darkness

it becomes translucent

And indeed

Cat found that she could see every trail of vein

frm her wrist to her shoulder

and from her neck to her chin

thinking back to that class

and what Robbie said

when he tutored her

her eyes must have been jet black

a horrifying mixture

and not at all the creature

she once thought she would be

Cat had always loved mermaids.

And now, with her brittle hair

translucent skin

cracked lips like dry river beds

and black eyes

she was one.

Just not the mermaid she imagined.