(A/N: I don't own any of the characters, they belong to J.K. Rowling, and
now on to the story. Also I'm sorry about the title but I couldn't think
of anything else.)
Tomorrow's Tomorrow
Death? Why this fuss about death? Use your imagination, try to visualize a world without death! . . . Death is the essential condition of life, not an evil.
--Charlotte Perkins Gilman
Sirius groaned as he slowly woke up. He was surprised not to be In any pain. "Damn Bellatrix," he thought as he rolled over onto his back. He tried to sit up but his head swam.
"Sirius?" a voice asked. Sirius looked around but the only features he could see were dark black hair and bright green eyes.
To his astonishment and disappointment he realized that the afore mentioned features belonged to two different people. People he hadn't seen in a long time.
"James? Lily?" Sirius sounded unsure of himself. "I must be hallucinating."
Then suddenly he shot up, "Harry! Where is he? Is he okay?"
Lily and James exchanged looks, "Sirius, he's fine, but..." Lily tried to explain in a gentle tone, but she didn't know how to finish.
James decided to take the blunt approach, "But you are dead."
Sirius gaped at him, "That can't be," he stopped, "Bellatrix," he said flatly. Lily nodded at him sadly. She and James had been dead over a decade but he wasn't used to it yet. Even she wasn't used to it yet.
Watching and waiting but no participating.
Guilt suddenly hit Sirius like a tidal wave. He had gotten James and Lily killed. He had left Harry alone. He had left Remus alone the last of the true Marauders.
James and Lily saw the guilt on Sirius's face and gave him a look of pity that made him hate himself even more.
"It's not your fault," Lily began but was interrupted.
Sirius laughed a horrible barking laugh. "I'm the one who told you to switch secret keepers. That stupid bastard. I should have done so many things differently."
'Sirius things always happen for a reason. You switched places with Peter, because you thought we would be safer for it. You were trying to protect us," James tried to explain to Sirius.
"A lot of good it did too," he snarled in self-hate.
"Listen," Lily started, "You have to believe us when we say it wasn't your fault. We don't blame you for what happened," she hesitated before she added, "We forgave you for it a long time ago." Sirius looked at her. "So you did think it was my fault."
"Only for about 5 seconds, but it was hard dying when Harry was so young," she told him softly, her words barely a whisper.
"The only thing he remembers about us is how we died. That he only heard through the dementors."
James interrupted her bitterly, "He remembers me being a huge jerk in school too."
"This is all my fault," Sirius muttered angrily.
"Padfoot." Sirius looked up startled to hear his nickname for the first time from James. "What do you want me to say to you?"
Sirius looked very confused.
"Do you want me to say I hate you? That I wish you had died in our place? That I wish your cousin had killed you earlier? That I wish I had never met you?" James paused for breath, but when Sirius opened his mouth to speak James angrily waved him to stop. A wide-eyed Sirius closed his eyes. "Do you wish that you had stayed in Azkaban? That Harry had killed you when he had the chance?
"Because we don't believe any of that. You are my best friend. We entrusted our son's life to you. You're closer than a brother to me and I love you," James said simply hoping that Sirius would get over his self- hatred.
"I love you too, and we know Harry loves you," Lily added.
"You have to stop this self-loathing, because we don't know why we're here. And we don't know what's going to happen," James said.
"What do you mean?"
"Voldemort is bigger than we all thought. There were so many possibilities of what can happen with him here. It's as though time is splitting apart because of him."
"I don't understand."
James was starting to get frustrated because he couldn't explain it very well. "It's as though for time, and when I say time I mean the world, history, whatever you feel like calling it, stopped. When whatever happens with Voldemort finishes it will start up again. We're not sure what's going to happen. Harry could defeat Voldemort. Voldemort could kill Harry," James was talking as though it wasn't his own son he was talking about.
"James, you are very bad at explaining things. It's almost as if you developed the art of walking circles around the point," Sirius told him.
James looked a little hurt at that but continued, "When whatever happens with Voldemort is over it will decide the basic direction we go in."
"Like heaven or hell?" Sirius asked, trying to make sense of what James was talking about.
Tomorrow's Tomorrow
Death? Why this fuss about death? Use your imagination, try to visualize a world without death! . . . Death is the essential condition of life, not an evil.
--Charlotte Perkins Gilman
Sirius groaned as he slowly woke up. He was surprised not to be In any pain. "Damn Bellatrix," he thought as he rolled over onto his back. He tried to sit up but his head swam.
"Sirius?" a voice asked. Sirius looked around but the only features he could see were dark black hair and bright green eyes.
To his astonishment and disappointment he realized that the afore mentioned features belonged to two different people. People he hadn't seen in a long time.
"James? Lily?" Sirius sounded unsure of himself. "I must be hallucinating."
Then suddenly he shot up, "Harry! Where is he? Is he okay?"
Lily and James exchanged looks, "Sirius, he's fine, but..." Lily tried to explain in a gentle tone, but she didn't know how to finish.
James decided to take the blunt approach, "But you are dead."
Sirius gaped at him, "That can't be," he stopped, "Bellatrix," he said flatly. Lily nodded at him sadly. She and James had been dead over a decade but he wasn't used to it yet. Even she wasn't used to it yet.
Watching and waiting but no participating.
Guilt suddenly hit Sirius like a tidal wave. He had gotten James and Lily killed. He had left Harry alone. He had left Remus alone the last of the true Marauders.
James and Lily saw the guilt on Sirius's face and gave him a look of pity that made him hate himself even more.
"It's not your fault," Lily began but was interrupted.
Sirius laughed a horrible barking laugh. "I'm the one who told you to switch secret keepers. That stupid bastard. I should have done so many things differently."
'Sirius things always happen for a reason. You switched places with Peter, because you thought we would be safer for it. You were trying to protect us," James tried to explain to Sirius.
"A lot of good it did too," he snarled in self-hate.
"Listen," Lily started, "You have to believe us when we say it wasn't your fault. We don't blame you for what happened," she hesitated before she added, "We forgave you for it a long time ago." Sirius looked at her. "So you did think it was my fault."
"Only for about 5 seconds, but it was hard dying when Harry was so young," she told him softly, her words barely a whisper.
"The only thing he remembers about us is how we died. That he only heard through the dementors."
James interrupted her bitterly, "He remembers me being a huge jerk in school too."
"This is all my fault," Sirius muttered angrily.
"Padfoot." Sirius looked up startled to hear his nickname for the first time from James. "What do you want me to say to you?"
Sirius looked very confused.
"Do you want me to say I hate you? That I wish you had died in our place? That I wish your cousin had killed you earlier? That I wish I had never met you?" James paused for breath, but when Sirius opened his mouth to speak James angrily waved him to stop. A wide-eyed Sirius closed his eyes. "Do you wish that you had stayed in Azkaban? That Harry had killed you when he had the chance?
"Because we don't believe any of that. You are my best friend. We entrusted our son's life to you. You're closer than a brother to me and I love you," James said simply hoping that Sirius would get over his self- hatred.
"I love you too, and we know Harry loves you," Lily added.
"You have to stop this self-loathing, because we don't know why we're here. And we don't know what's going to happen," James said.
"What do you mean?"
"Voldemort is bigger than we all thought. There were so many possibilities of what can happen with him here. It's as though time is splitting apart because of him."
"I don't understand."
James was starting to get frustrated because he couldn't explain it very well. "It's as though for time, and when I say time I mean the world, history, whatever you feel like calling it, stopped. When whatever happens with Voldemort finishes it will start up again. We're not sure what's going to happen. Harry could defeat Voldemort. Voldemort could kill Harry," James was talking as though it wasn't his own son he was talking about.
"James, you are very bad at explaining things. It's almost as if you developed the art of walking circles around the point," Sirius told him.
James looked a little hurt at that but continued, "When whatever happens with Voldemort is over it will decide the basic direction we go in."
"Like heaven or hell?" Sirius asked, trying to make sense of what James was talking about.
