A/N: Before I start anything, there needs to be a serious(ish) talk. This series (it's probably going to only be a few chapters) is going to deal with depression, death, and suicide. Please, if you are depressed, if you self-harm yourself (i don't really know any better way to put that), if you want to commit suicide/have suicidal thoughs, please talk to someone. In each chapter I'm going to be putting a reddit link to a bunch of suicide hotlines for a bunch of different countries and the US suicide hotline. I don't care who you talk to, please, talk to someone. Hell, you can talk to me, I would absolutely listen, you could message me through this. Just talk to someone. There is always someone who cares, it may be someone you'de least expect.
U.S. Suicide Hotline: 1 (800) 273-8255
Other Hotlines: r/SuicideWatch/wiki/hotlines
A/N: So real quick before I start, this is a follow up to the one-shot "Our Future." And once again, thank you so much to Taylor. We were both crying over this, it was killing us.
The kiss hurt.
The silence hurt more.
"I won't."
Her words hurt the most.
I saw the life leave her caramel colored eyes. The glint I love so much just left- vanished. I would never see how they crinkle when she laughs ever again.
Her lips were parted slightly. The lips that once smirked mischievously at me. The lips that let out a melodic laugh whenever I would tell a pun, no matter how bad it was.
Her nose rested on her face. It would no longer let out a large, short breath whenever she read something funny in a book. It would never crinkle the way it did when I tickled her in one of our legendary tickle wars.
I couldn't take the glossed, lifeless gaze. I looked away and gently pushed her eyelids over her eyes with my dirty fingers.
I looked at her whole face. I noticed how her tears had carried some of the dirt off her face, now in its pace was tear streams. She looked at peace.
Maybe it was painless.
No, it defiantly wasn't painless.
I cradled her in my arms.
We sat like that for a long while before I heard footsteps.
"GUYS! WE'RE HERE! WE HAVE THE-"
"It's too late..." My voice was hoarse and weak, barely above a whisper.
Finn and Maybeck stopped, "What?" Finn gawked.
Maybeck walked over to Willa and me, "Oh my god...is-is she-?"
"YES SHE'S DEAD. YOU ALL TOOK YOUR SWEET ASS TIME. SHE'S GONE, DEAD. DO I NEED TO SPELL IT OUT FOR YOU?"
Maybeck clenched in jaw and turned away. He banged a lamppost with his hands. He yelled a word Aunt Jelly wouldn't be too pleased with.
Finn stood there. It was almost as if he was in a different world. He opened his mouth several times as if he was going to say something.
I was flaming. She would be alive if it weren't for them. I was done with tonight. I was done with everything.
Finn finally spoke, "We-we should return, you're not in that good of shape yourself, Philby." Tears were streaming down his face, Maybeck was walking back and forth, contemplating, I'd assume.
I hadn't even took in my own condition, I was so caught up in Willa's.
My clothes were tattered. I was crying hysterically. There was most likely a nasty gash on my left cheek. There were bruises all over, making my whole body ache.
I put that aside, "What are we going to do about her. She died."
Finn, wiped away his own tears, "I guess- as bad as this sounds -leave her? Return her, but, wait. Someone will find her, her parents, most likely." Finn winced at his words, "Oh god, this is horrible."
Maybeck huffed, "Just return us. However this may turn out is out of our hands."
I looked down at Willa's corpse. Barely audible to myself, I whispered, "I love you, doll."
Finn pressed the button, separating us for the last time.
I peeled off my bloodied shirt. It clung to my sore skin.
I couldn't feel anything, pain, warmth, emotion.
I was numb.
The blood soaked shirt hit the floor with a splat.
I looked in the mirror. As of then, I stood in only my boxers.
My ribs were bruised, as well as my right shoulder. I was a few shades paler than usual, maybe from crying, maybe from blood loss. There was a nasty gash on my left cheek that would scar if I don't tend to it soon.
I opened the medicine cabinet over the toilet.
I grabbed a gauze, hydrogen peroxide, medical tape, and Neosporin. (Thanks for being so nervous about injuries, mum.)
I picked up a hand towel and held it under my cut. I poured hydrogen peroxide on the gas. It stung a little, but it was nothing compared to what I was feeling inside.
I took the gauze and applied a healthy amount of Neosporin onto it. I slapped it on my cheek and held it there as I ripped some medical tape off the roll. Quickly, I put a piece of tape on just to hold the gauze in place as I ripped off more pieces from the roll.
After putting away anything left over, I grabbed the NyQuil from the top shelf. Mum and dad used to keep this on the top shelf so I wouldn't get it. Well, guess who's 6'0 now, bitches.
I cracked open the bottle and eyed the measurements. I didn't need it to be exact, I just needed it to be enough to knock me out- there's no way I would fall asleep without drugs.
I downed the cap and shuddered. Why does medicine have to taste like Hell?
I lazily threw the NyQuil back in its place and shut the cabinet doors.
I lay in bed and thought about the past events.
Willa's last words rang through my head.
"We would grow old together. We'd probably be the old couple that somehow stayed together for just about forever. Maybe then, just maybe, in the slimmest chance, would I let you leave me. You know what? No. I'm never letting you leave me. Ever. You hear me? Never. Not. Ever. Don't you-Don't you ever forget that."
"I won't."
A/N: This chapter was a total bitch to write. Not even to write. Just because I'm lazy, I don't want to go on my computer to put in Italics, bold, line breaks. (I write the chapter in messages so that me and Taylor can edit it and critic it with ease, then i copy and paste it here, in safari on my phone, and do the rest.) It's always a bit bitchy becuase I'm on my phone, but for some reason it was ridiculous today. I would scroll upLET'S TYPE IN RANDOM PLACESi would try to put in a line breakLET'S PUT THAT IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR A/Ni would try and select a part to be in italicsLET'S DESELCT THAT OVER AND OVER AGAIN. You see what I'm saying? It's giving me 5x the normal trouble it usually does. Anyways, leave a review, like, follow, whatever you do on the site. I love you, bye.
