All I want for Christmas….

Susan was standing in her bedroom,. silently looking out of her window. Lots of neighbors were busy decorating their houses. The holiday season would soon be there. But Susan wasn't feeling the holiday spirit this year. Christmas always made her a little melancholic, but this year she felt like a dark cloud took over her heart.

Standing there she thought of last years Christmas. It had been a hopeful one,. filled with unexpected joyful moments. She and Mike were finally talking again,. And he even sat down at their table to talk to her and Julie. She couldn't help notice the admiring looks he gave her,. when he thought she wasn't looking his way. Even her friends had noticed.

After that a lot had happened. They indeed got closer again,. leading to that dramatic evening when she planned to propose to him,.. but instead she received that awful phone call. It had changed their relationship forever. He was with Edie now,. and she had Ian.

Susan sighed deeply again,. when she saw Mike coming out of his house carrying the box of Christmas lights in his arms. He had moved on,. and she never really understand how this all could have happened. Why did one moment of desperation caused so many problems. Susan often wondered what would have happened if she'd stayed strong,. and hadn't respond to Ian's invitations.

"Mom..?" the soft voice of her daughter sounded. She felt her hand on her shoulder. Susan turned around, quickly whipping away the tear that managed to escape from her eyes. She tried to smile, to reassure her daughter.

"Mom,. don't do this to yourself,. I hate to see you like this!" Julie spoke sweetly.

"I know,… you're right,. but I can't help it. Christmas always makes me feel like this…and this year even worse then ever..". Susan whispered the last words.

Julie looked over her moms shoulder to see what made her so sad. She saw Mike hanging up the lights,. and sighed.

"Mom,. you've got to let it go! I mean focus on the positive things! You've got Ian now, right?" Julie tried to cheer her up.

"Well Ian isn't going to be here,. when we have our annual Christmas meeting. Jane's parents are coming over and they will be staying at his place. And because he still hasn't told them about me, I can't just show up at his doorstep! This means I will be all alone,. watching how Ms. 'I'm suddenly sweet and innocent' Britt, will be all over Mike.

I think I will burry myself under tons of blankets and sleep through the whole thing!" Susan ended her angry statement.

Julie's eyes grew wide at her mothers words.

"O my god…", she whispered. "You still love him don't you?"

Susan raised her eyebrows.

"Where did you get that silly idea? If Edie wants him she can have him for all I care!" Susan answered, trying to sound convincing.

Julie smiled and shook her head while walking out of the room. She knew her mom was still in love with Mike Delfino,..now she only had to find a way to get those two to talk. Without Edie there to ruin things. And she knew just the perfect way to get that done.

Julie walked over to Austin who was busy hanging up the lights at his aunts house.

"Hi", she greeted him. He grabbed her by her waist pulling her close to give her a kiss. "Hi", he answered. "You came over to help me with the lights huh?"

"Eh,..no,..I think you're doing a wonderful job here!" Julie smiled. "Are you almost done?"

"Yeah,..unless one of the lights doesn't work, then I have to go tot the store to buy some new ones,. we're out of spare lights". With that comment, Julie got an even better idea.

"I think you deserve a beer,. for all your hard work!" She got in to get one. Handing it to him they sat down on the porch watching the other neighbors.

After Austin finished his beer,. they got up. Julie deliberately stepped on a light bowl but made it look like an accident.

"O, no,. Austin I'm so sorry..", she apologized. "Now we need a new one!"

Austin ran his hand through his hair. "Yeah we do".

At that point Edie came walking up to them, coming from Mike's house.

"Hey kids,. how's the decoration going here?" she said cheerfully.

"Well it was coming good,. until I stepped on a light bowl,. I'm sorry", Julie said.

"O please that's no problem,. we'll put in a spare light", Edie answered.

"We're all out of spare lights", Austin replied. Edie looked at him and frowned.

"So…why don't you go get some new ones?"

"He can't!" Julie shrieked. Austin and Edie both looked awkward at her.

"You had a beer remember?" Julie looked at Austin. "You can't drive when you have been drinking!"

"O come on,. it was one beer!" Austin answered. Edie put her hand on his shoulder.

"I think our little miss perfect is right,. this time,. I'll go get the lights!"

Julie watched as Edie drove off. This was her chance.

"Austin I'll be right back,. I forgot something!"

She rushed herself back to her house.

"MOM!" she called, "Are you there?" Susan came walking down the stairs.

"Julie,. what's wrong, why are you shouting?" Susan asked worried.

"I'm sorry but you've gotta come outside for a moment,. almost everyone has their lights on and it looks so beautiful!" Julie said enthusiastic.

"Please Julie,. I'm not in the mood,. and I've seen it all last year. I'm sure everything looks just the same."

"But mom,. we do this every year..", Julie pleaded.

Susan saw the disappointing look on her daughters face. She sighed again.

"OK,.if it's that important to you,. let's go!"

The both of them stepped out,. looking at the lovely decorations.

They started walking slowly along the street, towards Gabrielle's house. Then they crossed the street to walk back on the other side.

Julie knew she had to find a reason to leave her mom alone for a few minutes when they would pass Mike's house. She'd seen he was still working on his lights.

As they passed by Bree's house,. looking absolutely perfect as always, Julie saw Austin sitting on the porch.

"Eh,.mom,.Austin just called me, I have to go talk to him for a sec, just wait here, I'll be right back ok?" Julie took off, before Susan could even respond.

"Susan? Hey,.I haven't seen you in a while,..?" A familiar voice sounded,…way to close.

"O great, just what was missing in this picture.." Susan whispered cynically before she turned.

"Hey Mike, what a surprise", she smiled, trying not to show the nervous feeling that was quickly growing inside of her.

"Eh, well,.. Julie and I were doing our annual Christmas walk through the neighborhood", Susan answered. Mike stepped a bit closer towards her.

"Oh,..did you two do that last year too? Or did I join you?"

Susan was startled by his question.

"What do you mean,. you remember something?" She looked hopefully at Mike.

"No nothing much really, just some small things. But last week I had a talk with Tom and Carlos. And well they gave me a whole different perspective on things". Mike ran his hand through his hair,. looking confused.

"What did they tell you?" Susan softly asked. Her heart was pounding fast.

"Well we talked about the time when I just moved to Wisteria Lane,. they told me I was a suspect in the Mrs. Huber case,. they told me about Paul Young….and.." Mike paused for a second, "They told me a lot about you and me..".

Susan blushed, she was glad it was dark. She didn't know what to say. She wanted Mike to remember her so bad,. but she had no idea if things could ever be the same again.

"I,. I'm really confused right now,. I don't now who to believe anymore. I mean Edie is telling me this,. Tom and Carlos are telling me that,…it's al such a mess in my head right now", Mike sighed.

"It's gonna be ok,..one day you will remember and you will now what is true,. in your mind,…and in your heart..", Susan whispered. She wanted to say so much more,… she could tell Mike was letting go of his defensive attitude, but then she heard a car stop right behind her.

"Hey babe,…oh hi Susan", Edie said. "So what are you two talking about?" Edie got out of the car, walked up to Mike and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"We were discussing the Christmas decorations", Susan quickly answered.

"Hmm,..yeah right!" Edie mumbled. "You don't fool me Mayer! But shouldn't you be keeping an eye on your daughter?"

Edie pointed at her house, where Julie and Austin were sitting in a tight embrace.

"I say you one thing,..if that girl is pregnant one day don't look at me,..I warned you! Come on Mike let's get inside,..you could light up the fire place!" Mike turned around, but Edie had one more comment for Susan.

"But hey, maybe I beat Julie in getting pregnant,. I know how much Mike wants to be a dad,..maybe I can give him that!" She whispered nastily.

Susan was stunned by Edie's comment. That did it! She was not going to the block party,. she just couldn't deal with it.

Susan turned around trying to hide her pain from Edie. But after she entered her house she leaned against the wall and tears welled up in her eyes. She opened a cabinet and took out the picture of Mike and her that had been standing on her table for so long.

"Why Mike,..", she whispered, "Where did it go wrong?"